Things tend to get ugly when Joe Lansdale is involved. And dark, too. Sometimes brutally dark. But Joe, to his credit, also tends to bring about some good times – depending on one’s perspective.

Things Get Ugly is subtitled as he Best Crime Stories of Joe R. Lansdale and is an assorted collection of hits; some misfires too. Again, it’s all about perspective and Joe delivers some honest storytelling set to the poetic beat of his Texas cadence. His writing is biting and compelling. Things Get Ugly makes for a great read. Even on a sunny day.

Writing short stories is a distinct artform and Lansdale is a master craftsman. Where his skill particularly excels is with his opening sentences. They perfectly set the tone and immediately captivate the reader into following. And Joe’s Pied Piper will take you down some unfortunate alleys, too. But away you most certainly go. And the trip is fun.

Highlights within include:

The Steel Valentine – An adulterer tries to escape capture and torture from his lover’s husband. And their dogs. Woof.

Driving to Geronimo’s Grave – A coming-of-age type story set in the Dust Bowl Depression where two siblings run into trouble while trying to bury their uncle. An overly ripe uncle at that.

Six-Finger Jack – An assassin makes his mark. Now he just wants his payday. Is that so bad?

Santa at the Cafe – A department store Santa becomes involved in a late-night stick up. Ho-ho oh-no.

Incident On and Off a Mountain Road – A woman with a basic understanding of survivalism becomes hunted on a mountain road by a serial killer straight out of an eighties horror movie. Sharp knives included.

The Projectionist – Being a movie theater projectionist back in the days of those grand, single-screen houses was probably the safest job around. Right? Wrong.

Lansdale takes chances within the crime fiction genre. He will break new ground, even if that’s only used for a grave. The stories about the serial killers taking their prey to the drive-in movies; one about two rather nasty teens and their mutual attractions; and oh yeah, the high-flying, low-talking Mr. Bear did not carry the same resonance as other chapters. Sometimes the dark and dirty gets downright filthy.

Then again, the book is called Things Get Ugly after all.


Muchas gracias to NetGalley and Tachyon Publications for one ugly read.

This collection of short stories by author Joe Lansdale of Things Get Ugly, The Best Crime Stories of Joe R. Lansdale warns readers early on that he doesn’t use trigger warnings for his stories. If it did then the trigger warnings would overshadow the stories themselves.

His stories are a complex mixture of coarse language, sex, and violence that makes any Quentin Tarantino film seem tame.

The stories in Things Get Ugly are graphic and fierce, yet surprising. This collection of stories combines dark noir and pulp fiction into snippets that transport readers into a realm of Joe’s mind and writing talent. Some of these stories push you to the edge of your comfort zone.

One story stands out for me and that is the story of Ellen in the Incident on and Off A Mountain Road. Loved how he wrote this story that gave the brilliant, did not see coming, high-five ending. That could so be a movie in and of itself. Another favorite is The Shadows, Kith and Kin which is poetic, and yet haunting due to the character’s storm raging inside him and around him. It is in this story that Lansdale’s writing shines.

While these crime stories are harsher than Quentin Tarantino could ever imagine, I love how Lansdale takes the time to give insight into how he came up with these unique crime stories.

Things Get Ugly is a book that makes your skin crawl, until you come to Ellen’s story. Good writing and storytelling are meant to provoke reactions of either good or bad. If you want to sink your teeth into original, noir true crime then this book is a must. Also, I highly recommend you do not read this book before falling asleep or while riding a plane, in case the passenger sitting next to you glances over at your screen. They might interrupt and might start asking questions.

I recently heard the term gallows humor and that definitely sums up Lansdale’s writing. This was a strong collection filled with humor, gore and wit. “Driving to Geronimo’s Grave” was one of my favorites and I loved the brother-sister pair. ”Incident On and Off a Mountain Road” has a serious twist you won’t see coming. This collection isn’t for the faint-hearted but I think many readers will love it.

Unlike many conventional crime fiction novels, Things Get Ugly manages to transcend mere horror, delving into the complexity of the human psyche and the profound consequences of an individual's actions. Imagine the worst of humankind and what they can do. Now, take one more (or a few more) steps into even more horrific, and that's where most of these stories landed for me.

This collection is some of Lansdale's favorites, and while they might not be his best, the stories clearly demonstrate that the author's strength lies in his portrayal of characters who are the worst of our world yet realistic. Lansdale skillfully weaves their backgrounds, motivations, and flaws, making them relatable, authentic, and that much more scary for this reader.

The collection falters in maintaining a consistently high standard across all the stories. Some tales lack the punch and depth of others, leaving readers with a sense of unevenness that may not appeal to traditional short story readers. Additionally, the book occasionally delves into clichéd plotlines, diluting the freshness established by its authentic characters.

While the book may not be for me, I would recommend it because I appreciate the talent needed to make these stories so realistic and creepy. Lansdale's prose demonstrated an undeniable talent for crafting vivid and atmospheric settings, immersing readers into the murky underworld of crime. The stories are rife with unexpected twists and turns, successfully keeping the audience engaged throughout.

In the second introduction to this collection of short stories, Things Get Ugly, the author, Joe Lansdale, states that he doesn’t use trigger warnings, which I appreciated, though I’d argue that that is a form of trigger warning. Still, if you haven’t read any of Lansdale’s previous work (I haven’t), you should know that his use of coarse language, rough sex, and extreme violence makes Stephen King’s work seem PG-13. So, yes, these stories are gritty, earthy, violent. They combine horror, noir, and pulp-fiction. They will push you to the edge of your comfort zone, and leave you feeling a little squeamish. But good writing and good storytelling should provoke a reaction.

They are also BRILLIANT. Lansdale’s writing is vivid and visceral. Even when I was confronted by content I would not typically choose (the first entry in this collection, “The Steel Valentine” would require an entire page of entries at Does the Dog Die, if it were included there), I could not stop reading. The characters leap off the page, capture you in a strangle-hold, and do not let go until you’ve finished their story.

For the most part, these are not people I’d want to meet, but the stories are quirky, original, and interesting. Sure, some of them, like the afore-mentioned “The Steel Valentine” feel like the violence is almost gratuitous, but then there’s “The Ears,” which is the kind of Hitchcock -meets-O. Henry thriller that I love, and “Billie Sue,” which manages to be poignant in places. “Santa at the Cafe” is perfectly layered, and truly funny, while “Dead Sister,” is a truly unique take on ghouls (and may I take a moment to applaud the author for understanding the ghouls and zombies are totally different things?) . And then there’s “Mr Bear,” which introduces us to a side of Smokey Bear (yes, that Smokey Bear) that I almost wish I could un-read, except that as dark and twisted as it is, it’s also perfect.

Things Get Ugly includes nineteen stories in all, each with a short introduction from the author. I’m not going to review every one of them. They may not be everyone’s cup of tea – or fifth of gin – but they’re definitely worth the time spent reading, and you can tell that the author put care into every word. The beauty of short story anthologies is that you can read one, skip around in the book, or even keep it for bathroom reading (though if you’re like me, your feet will fall asleep if you do that).

Goes well with: A juicy steak and a glass of Scotch.

Things Get Ugly by Joe R. Lansdale- This is probably, I think, the first volume of the best crime stories of Joe. R. Lansdale. In the introduction, he says this is the book, but knowing the huge volume of short stories he has written, it’s surely not the only or last. It starts off with The Steele Valentine, a grisly tale of love, revenge and killer dogs. Next Riding To Geronimo’s Grave is a Depression era road trip full of sacrifice and need. There are nineteen great stories here, some of his best. Thanks to NetGalley for this great ARC and thanks to Joe for all the excellent tales.

I'm sure Joe R. Lansdale cannot write a bad or boring story. He can write stories that brings very far from my comfort zone, dark story, story where the dog dies or mix of all the possible elements.
But he always write great stories that make you face the darker side of life.. And always add a pinch of dark humour that makes you smile even if you are immersed in blood up to your here.
This is not a book for you if you do not want to read about the darker side of life or hate too much violence and gore
But if you want to read an anthology of excellent crime/thriller/noir/etc stories be read to get it and start a wilde ride
I thoroughly enjoyed it and strongly recommend it.
Many thanks to Tachyon Publications for this ARC, all opinions are mine

"Edgar Award winner and bestselling author Joe R. Lansdale (the Hap and Leonard series), one of America's most essential crime writers, heads back to the dangerous woods of East Texas. In his first crime career-retrospective, including previously uncollected work, Lansdale shows exactly why critics continue to compare him to Elmore Leonard, Donald Westlake, Flannery O'Connor, and William Faulkner. "Pulpy, blackly humorous, compulsively readable, and somehow both wildly surreal and down-to-earth. Lansdale is a national fucking treasure." - Christa Faust, author of Money Shot

In the 1950s, a young small-town projectionist mixes it up with a violent gang. When Mr. Bear is not alerting us to the dangers of forest fires, he lives a life of debauchery and murder. A brother and sister travel to Oklahoma to recover the dead body of their uncle. A lonely man engages in dubious acts while pining for his rubber duckie.

In this collection of nineteen unforgettable crime tales, Joe R. Lansdale brings his legendary mojo and gritty, dark humor to harrowing heists, revenge, homicide, and mayhem. No matter how they begin, things are bound to get ugly - and fast."

If you've ever wondered, where should I start with Joe R. Lansdale, where here's your answer!

The title tells it all. Joe R Lansdale is a prolific writer, known across several genre and the author behing the long running Hap and Leonard series, many of which have been adapted for film. Since publishing his first book in 1988, he's managed to build many memorable characters and communities, most of which you will meet or enter in this book of many of his BEST crime fictions. I'm pretty sure that a library with no Lansdale titles is not complete. His books are some of the best reading anyone could ask for. Try this one and join the fan club with the rest of us.

Things get very ugly indeed. An excellent collection of short stories by a master craftsman, featuring dark thoughts, gritty locales and some of the nastiest characters I’ve encountered in crime fiction. Strap yourself in, it’s quite a ride. As an added bonus, JRL also introduces each story with a brief explanation of the story’s genesis. Maybe so we don’t get the idea that he’s as twisted as his stories.

Highly recommended.

One of my favorite things about reading Joe Lansdale at all is the sense that anything could happen at any point - that genre restrictions don't really matter that much, and that we can whiplash between horror and comedy, thriller and drama all effortlessly. That goes double for his short story collections, which by their very nature can display a wide array of talents and genres. That's why I was sort of concerned, in a way, about Things Get Ugly: The Best Crime Stories of Joe R. Lansdale - after all, by limiting Lansdale to one genre, wouldn't that hamper his creativity? But I needn't have worried about that; even within that seeming confining genre label, because even here, you get a sense of how wild Lansdale could be. Who else could take the "crime" genre and incorporate a story about Smokey the Bear going out for a wild weekend on the town? Or bring in the truly surreal (and hilarious - to me, anyway) reveal at the end of "Billie Sue"? You've got supernatural horrors, you've got noir thrillers, you've even got coming of age stories, and they all technically fit within the boundaries of crime. If there's a downside here, it's that this is pretty grim fare throughout; you don't get as much sense of Lansdale's dark sense of humor (though it still shows up here and there), and instead you are plunged into some of the darkest, most amoral and psychopathic characters. Stories like "The Phone Woman" and "Drive In Date" give us a window into the darkest parts of human nature, a window that reaches its starkest and most haunting and disturbing version in "Boys Will Be Boys," an excised section from his novel The Nightrunners. Add into that stories like "The Projectionist," about a young man whose place of employment falls into the crosshairs of extortionists, or Lansdale's famous "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road," and you get a solid window into Lansdale's work. I'll say that I think some of his other collections - The Best of Joe Lansdale and Bumper Crop - might be better senses of the man (and I'll add here that if you're a Lansdale fan, you've probably read a lot of these before), and that this one is pretty unrelentingly dark and not for the faint-hearted, but I've yet to read a bad work by Lansdale, and Things Get Ugly is no exception.

I love Lansdale's work. This includes his short stories, which tend to be forgotten, for whatever reason.

Strong collection here. The staunch Lansdale fans will have read many of them already, but it's a nice introduction for someone into crime fiction that hasn't yet tried Joe's work.

My friends, mark down August 16, 2023, on your calendar, app, post-it note, written it in lipstick on your medicine cabinet mirror, or however you keep track of such things—that’s when Things Get Ugly: The Best Crime Stories of Joe R. Lansdale releases. You’ll want to take the day off, settle into a comfortable chair (or onto a barstool, you do you) with a tumbler of good scotch within reach, and prepare yourself to get lost in one of the best collections of crime fiction I’ve ever read.

There are 19 stories here, each one a poisonous gem, and before I call out a few individual stories, some general thoughts:
• Because Lansdale is so versatile, and so prolific, it’s easy to forget just how good he is in the various genres he calls home. He is, without a doubt, a master of crime fiction.
• The title Things Get Ugly is extremely apt—These are dark, dark stories that explore the ugly side of life, the sordid alleys of human existence. Believe me when I tell you that these are harrowing tales teeming with revenge, murder, and all manner of appalling behavior. There aren’t really any heroes here, just criminals of different shades and degrees.
• Having said that, the profane, laugh-out-loud humor Lansdale is famous for is very much in evidence. Gallows humor, but still humor.
• Because I’ve read my fair share of Lansdale, I was afraid I’d find that I had read many of the included stories. Happily, that was not the case. These stories are drawn from throughout Lansdale’s long career, and most were new to me. And the ones I had read before, I still found myself diving right in, like visiting old, much-loved but ne’er-do-well friends.
• Although the Hap and Leonard novels and stories certainly fall into the category of crime fiction, those two gentlemen do not make an appearance here. They have their own much-deserved story collections (Hap and Leonard, Born for Trouble, Blood and Lemonade, Of Mice and Minestrone). If you haven’t read them, why the hell not? Get on that.

On to some of the stories. I’m not going to mention all of them (every one hits hard and strong), but here are a few of my favorites:

Driving to Geronimo’s Grave
Yes, this one involves a rotting corpse, but it’s one of the lighter stories in the collection, and it’s damn funny while still keeping the tension ratcheted up.

Mr. Bear
I can’t even begin to describe Mr. Bear. No, seriously. There’s an anthropomorphized bear with some terrible habits. Bad, bad things happen.

The Shadows, Kith and Kin
This one drags you kicking and screaming into the mind of a killer. Left me feeling very unsettled.

I Tell You It’s Love
Lansdale plays with pulp fiction tropes throughout this collection, and I Tell You It’s Love is one of the pulpiest. Short, sordid, and brutal.

Boys Will Be Boys
A portrait in acid of two teenage boys on the road to hell. Deeply disquieting, it feels like something Andrew Vachss would have appreciated.

Drive-In Date
Possibly the most disturbing story in the collection, and that’s saying something. You’ve been warned.

Incident On and Off a Mountain Road
I’ve saved my favorite for last. This is a stone cold classic, literally one of the best pieces of crime fiction ever written, with a twist you won’t see coming. Worth the price of the book all by itself.

Like I said, these are some of my favorites, but they’re all excellent, and your list of favorites may be completely different. As an added bonus, there’s an introduction by S.A. Cosby, one of today’s best crime writers.

Things Get Ugly: The Best Crime Stories of Joe R. Lansdale is available for pre-order now. Don’t miss out on this one.

Things get Ugly - Joe R Landsdale

Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this eARC.

Not for the faint-hearted (if you have ever read this author you know what I mean, if you haven't, cursing and extreme violence is this artist's playground) an interesting collection reflective of both Landsdale's unique talent and imagination.

My personal favs are Mr. Bear and the Projectionist.

Until next time, keep writing Joe, your fans are "out there" (in more ways than one).

Things Get Ugly by Joe R. Lansdale is not for the faint hearted but if the reader is a fan of his, this is a fine collection of stories as only he can write.

Another wonderful collection from the master of East Texas crime. No appearance of Hap or Leonard in this collection but plenty of good and bad people making bad and badder decisions. Never has a book had a more appropriate title.
3.5 stars

A bizarre collection of short crime stories. The stories were full of action and touched on several taboo subjects. While sufficiently entertaining, I felt the author used sexual episodes where they really were not needed in the story. The plot of the story was strong enough without a gratuitous sex scene. But overall, the stories were full of action and karma making it a good read.

Thank you to #NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest opinion.