Sorry I’m so late to share this here!
Here is my review as posted on Instagram (@lovesbooksandruns) on 30/05/24


Tell Me What I Am by @unamannion will be published this Thursday 1st June by @faberbooks
I was lucky enough to receive this proof but I will most definitely be buying a copy of the finished product too. I finished it on Sunday evening and I just loved it. Una’s writing is so lovely and she manages to create books that seem to be in a genre of their own (a sort of domestic noir meets family drama).
Ruby & Nessa will stay with me for some time… in fact I think we should get a sequel as I most definitely need to know what happens next! 💛☺️

A mother goes missing and years later her daughter, raised by a controlling and isolating father, connects with her aunt who she hasn't seen since childhood. The women come together over the grief of their loss and in discovering the past. This was a solid and well-written thriller. It is always quite clear who the 'villain' is, but the human and family drama surrounding the crime is the real focus of this novel. The issues explored include domestic assault, betrayal, coercion, and the female experience. The main POVs we follow are that of Ruby and Nessa and both felt real and likeable central characters to follow in this dark but fast-moving plot which keeps you engaged throughout.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

👩🏼‍🍼 REVIEW 👩🏼‍🍼

Tell Me What I Am by Una Mannion

⭐️⭐️⭐️.5/5

📝 - Ruby doesn’t remember her mother, Deena. After her disappearance when Ruby was 4, Ruby spent her life with her father and grandmother in the backroads of Vermont. But it’s not been easy keeping on her father’s good side. Deena’s sister, Nessa, has spent the last 14 years trying to find a way to bring Ruby back to Philadelphia, and away from her father, who she blames for Deena’s disappearance. Diving into the family’s history, Tell Me Who I Am unravels the mystery of Deena’s disappearance, as Nessa tries to bring her family back together.

💭 - I’m generally not one for mysteries as I find them quite formulaic and often very overdone. But while StoryGraph calls this a thriller, I didn’t get that sense. It was more of a quiet mystery, without all the typical twists and turns of a thriller from the bestseller lists, focusing on Ruby’s childhood alongside Nessa’s commitment to unravelling what happened to her sister. For that reason I wouldn’t recommend to someone wanting a fast-paced, shocking thriller, but instead someone wanting more of a literary, slow burn mystery, with deep running themes of family and loyalty to those you love.
Overall, I did enjoy this, but it wasn’t outstanding, just good.

#bookreview #bookreviewer #tellmewhatiam #unamannion #bookstagram #netgalley #bookrecommendations #mysterybooks #mystery #booksbooksbooks #bookstagrammer #newrelease

I actually first read Tell Me What I Am by Una Mannion in 2023. I didn't review it immediately and recently found the draft I'd written. I recall overthinking it a little, which is something that often prevents me putting fingertips to keyboard. And then too much time had passed. I knew I'd enjoyed it - though 'enjoy' seems to be the wrong word to use in a book like this, but it pulled me in and buried me deep. I recently watched The Marsh King's Daughter (on Prime) based on a book I'd read and was reminded of this... and others similarly themed.

It took me a little while to get used to the movement in time here. We go back and forth between (at least) three time periods and sometimes I found myself enjoying the present (such as the years when Ruby was growing up) and then I was taken back in time, interrupting the flow of Ruby's story.

But the past is important. All important. All three timelines are - however - powerful. Ruby's aunt Nessa is our narrator in the past (and some of the present). We learn she was with her sister Deena when she meets Lucas. Immediately she's smitten...

<i>I can see the shadow of myself moving through the events of my life up until that night, but I also see the dissolve, how some other element engulfs me, is chemically disintegrating me, is burning me up. </i>p 102

Soon the pair marry and then along comes Ruby. But by then Deena's been isolated from her family who don't like Lucas and the hold he seems to have over her. Eventually Deena runs from Lucas and returns to Nessa's with Ruby. Lucas has weekend visits with his daughter... but then Deena disappears and Ruby is returned to Lucas who moves the pair to his mother's house in rural Vermont and refuses all contact with Deena's family.

The present actually spans quite a bit of time and is told through Ruby's eyes and I found myself fully immersed in her world. It's tempting to say it's a coming of age story, rather it's a coming of wisdom story. Of burgeoning understanding and realisation. As Lucas, the father she worships, becomes tarnished. Of course more so when the past catches up with Lucas and Ruby. 

In some ways it's unfathomable that Ruby waits so long to search for answers... here googling her mother's name when neither Lucas nor his mother Clover share details of Ruby's early years. It's only then that she realises there's a lot she doesn't know and some of what she's been told isn't true. 

<i>It's like I'm not allowed to know who he is or who I am...

... And I feel like nothing. Everyone will eventually find out that I'm empty. No personality, no history, no stories about family. I am nothing except what I've been told. </i>p 239

This book is very much about the past's impact on the present. Nessa's life put on hold, desperate to find out what happened to her sister and pining for Ruby, the secrets Clover's forced to keep, and Ruby's very clichéd (but expected) acting out against a father who switches from controlling to dismissive to punitive. 

Although domestic violence, well violence, underpins this story, it's subtle. We're not present for any of it, just some of the aftermath. And - like other books (such as The Marsh King's Daughter) we're reminded that people aren't all good or bad. Although the saying.... 'When someone shows you who they are, believe them.' comes to mind. 

This is the second book I've read by Mannion and both of them have been powerful, impactful reads centred around family, friendships, trust and lies.

I adored this book - devastatingly beautiful writing. I'd not read the author before but will definitely look out for future books from them.

As this book already had lots of 5* reviews, I was looking forward to it. However, the style of writing is not for me. The story jumps all over the place, conversations are written as prose (ie with no punctuation) , and the characters are confusing. Maybe I am not the right demographic for this (69 year old female UK). I’m afraid I did not finish it. Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for an ARC.

A beautiful and compelling book.
Tell Me What I Am is told from two main view points, those of Ruby and Nessa and moves around the time line revealing snippets of the story until the reader has the whole picture. It is a story of loss, love, fear and searching. The characters are beautifully written and it is easy to empathise with them. The only tiny criticism I have is the similarity of two of the main characters names - Deena and Netta. I did find this really confusing at times. A wonderful read that I think will stay with me for quite a while.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read an advance copy. All opinions are my own.

Loved this !
Deena has been missing for the last 14 yrs. Her sister Nessa suspects her ex Lucas but it has never been proven and he has an alibi for the time she went missing..
Lucas and Deena had a daughter -Ruby -who Lucas has custody of . He is very strict and controlling and won't let her aunt see her at all.
Ruby is desperate to know her family and find out about her mother -but once she learns the truth -will she be able to move on ?

An enthralling read from beginning to end !

Thankyou NetGalley for an ARC in return for an honest review

Where to start, this book delighted me as Ruby slowly developed into her own character, yet was saddened by the forcefulness and dominance of her father. Lots of complicated characters. A bit of a not completely unexpected twist at the end.

‘Tell Me What I Am’ by Una Mannion is an excellent example of how to write a good character. In a book where a mother, Deena, goes missing, her sister Nessa must uncover the secrets of her disappearance while also attempting to contact her niece, Ruby, after she was won in a custody battle. Ruby has no recollection of her former life nor her mother, having been fed lies by her narcissistic father, Lucas. The book surrounds Ruby and Nessa’s journey towards the truth, both having to overcome their own personal struggles as well has the world around them.

Nessa is a woman very attached to her past, so much so, it deeply affects her relationships. I like how Ronan, her boyfriend, wasn’t written as her ‘saviour’ nor as a quick fix to an all-encompassing problem. He tried to help Nessa only to be turned down. Nessa actively sabotaged her relationship with him because the weight of her sister’s disappearance was too crushing despite how close she and Ronan were. He signified a part of her past in which she couldn’t get back and so she had to let him go. I really like this element of their relationship as it adds a more realistic feel to the writing. It is very rare for a relationship, especially one with physical distance between the pair, to withhold in the face of intense and traumatic pressure like what Nessa and Ronan went through. To see their relationship flourish in the midst of this pain would both be unrealistic and out of place in my opinion. However, you can still see their connection with Ronan showing up to Lucas’ pretrial despite getting married to someone else. Nessa, as an independent character, is also very well written. She is stubborn and devoted to Deena and Ruby, so much so, she puts herself at risk both physically and mentally. Throughout the book, I found myself longing for her to successfully contact Ruby as she was a consistent mothering/nurturing figure throughout the book, something Ruby desperately lacked. Ruby, in a way, is written like Nessa, especially with the self-sabotaging of relationships but through no fault of her own. Her not messaging back Tim because time slipped by, due to her being consumed with her mother’s disappearance, is very realistic and makes her feel human. Allowing characters to make mistakes makes them a more engaging figure to follow throughout a book. As a result, I found that as a reader, I connected with her more and felt more sympathy towards her plight. Mannion writes younger characters incredibly well, catching their aging via dialogue and how their internal thoughts and external speech matures. She also writes a subtly narcissistic character brilliantly too. Although it is already determined that Lucas was an unfavourable person and even worse partner, Mannion doesn’t just use statements like “Lucas was abusive” as the sole piece of evidence of his poor character. She notes his controlling behaviours subtly through dialogue and description like the narration commenting on how he doesn’t like his mother, Clover, having the TV too loud, noting how he “loved [Deena] mimicking his phrases”, or even how he didn’t enrol Ruby into school. Ruby’s fear of having his truck pull up tells us all we need to know; he is a fear-inducing figure, far exceeding the levels of a normal authoritative parent.

This use of language and description doesn’t just help with character development but also the plot as a whole. While refraining from being overly complex, the writing still contains a good level of description to get your imagination whirring. There are motifs in the book that frequently reoccur like that of the angel or the moving of boats. Subtle elements that are noted in the background really build up the scene and give it that realistic feel. For example, Ruby noting that she was a clam in a school play, Nessa referencing the joeys in a nature documentary she saw when Ronan hugged her, and Nessa practicing her ‘bitch face’ for if one of Lucas’ lawyers looks at her again. These elements build the scene and develop the characters indirectly. They also, in some cases, like Ruby being a clam, add an air of hilarity to the writing which lightens the mood and makes the book feel less emotionally strenuous which therefore makes an easier read. In addition, the inclusion of the story of Gentileschi and how it relates to Deena was a wonderful addition which is indicative of the further research that Mannion had to do to flesh out this book.

The only areas of the book that, in my opinion, have room for improvement, are the pacing and certain parts of the plot. While there are elements like the end of chapters that leave readers on a mini cliff-hanger, rounding off the scenes nicely without being too intense, the overall pacing of the book is perhaps a little too drawn out. The constant changing of POVs is a nice addition as it showcases the drawing together of Ruby and Nessa, revealing information to the readers that Ruby is unaware of. Yet it is used too much. Towards the end, it started to drag and made me feel as though the climax was never going to happen. When it did, it was somewhat underwhelming. The reveal that Deena was dead was just shoved in. We only got to see Ruby’s reaction to the news, not Nessa or her brothers. Clovers big explanation at the end seemed like a quick solution for the book-long mystery and Lucas’ ‘craft’ seemed to have no character or depth. It came off as very generic. I also think that a book ending without readers getting to see whether Lucas was sentenced left it feeling unresolved. It could have perhaps been remedied by Nessa and Ruby finally meeting but it only briefly referenced.

That being said, overall, the book was very entertaining. The most important elements were all covered with the characters being really well developed and the writing style entertaining throughout. Yes, end the book felt rushed but that doesn’t take away from the positive elements. Regardless, people aren’t going to stop reading something because the ending is a little off, especially since the good characters and language is still there and the plot is too engaging to not find out what happens.

If you like a mystery thriller that showcases incredibly well written women then I suggest you give this one a go. It doesn’t have an overly complex plot to follow so it makes for an easier and more entertaining read.

4/5

This author’s books have the ability to simultaneously make you unable to stop reading while wishing you could bury the book somewhere deep underground where it can't be found. Compelling and didn’t want it to end!

Ruby grows up in the country, protected from the rest of the world, with a father and a grandmother who won’t talk about her mother or the past. Ruby soon begins to start questioning her identity and to crave knowledge of her own history.

It took me a while to get into this book, particularly because it jumps around a lot at the beginning, but once I did I enjoyed it. Ruby is a beguiling character and you sympathise wholly with Nessa. The book handles the topic of domestic violence sensitively, whilst weaving an intriguing plot. A solid four-star read.

With thanks to the publisher for access to this ARC.

It's been years since Deena Garvey disappeared, leaving behind her daughter Ruby. The latter is now living an isolated and semi-survivalist lifestyle with her father, and is not allowed to ask questions about her missing mother.

But Deena's sister Nessa has never stopped asking questions about her disappearance. She is convinced that Ruby's father has something to do with it and is the only person who shares Ruby's desperate need for answers.

This is a thoughtful, intelligent, and intense exploration of issues around domestic violence and family relationships. Worth a read, it gets 3.5 stars.

Tell me what I am is a psychological thriller which revolves around the disappearance of Deena Garvey and her sister Nessa’s relentless search for answers. The story which tackles some really sensitive themes is told across multiple timelines and from multiple characters point of view. It’s a really emotional read

Twenty years ago Deena Garvey disappears, leaving her daughter Ruby behind. Her sister Nessa thinks this is due to her abusive partner. The book focuses on Ruby and covers two different timelines, which I found confusing in some parts. The book is very thought provoking in places and goes into domestic violence in some depth.
Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book to review.

This was my first time reading a book from the author but I am delighted to say I thoroughly enjoyed the story and I look forward to reading more books from the writer in the future

Tell me what I am is a beautifully written novel with well drawn characters who drew me in to this sad story. The characters felt really real and it was as if I was there with Nessa and Deena. I highly recommend this book.

I couldn’t tear myself away from this book. I love stories full of well developed characters, and this is a really emotionally developed story, exploring themes of loss and domestic abuse.

I enjoyed how the story gradually revealed more and more, building a picture of the lives of the characters and the impact of Deena’s disappearance on everyone. Seeing the way Ruby lives with her dad, the way he treats her, is heartbreaking. It’s no wonder she, and Nessa, both want to know more about what happened to Deena. Losing someone important in your life will always be difficult and it’s a theme everybody experiences in some way in their lives.

I just wish things were tied up a bit neater at the end, even if it makes sense why it wasn’t.

I didn’t expect to love this story quite so much. I felt strangely bereft at the end saying goodbye to all the remarkable characters but especially Ruby and Nessa. I wanted to stay with them for just a bit longer. This is a really powerful and beautifully written story about family, unconditional love and never giving up.

This is such a fantastic book! Having previously read A Crooked Tree and really enjoyed it, I was really happy to have something else to read from Una Mannion.
Tell Me What I Am is a haunting story focusing on a young woman, Ruby, and her complicated, damaging past. I love the way that Mannion plunges us straight into her life and gradually tells the story of her past. It really gets across just how confusing and overwhelming it can feel to have survived abusive situations.
Ruby appears to be trying to come to terms with her past when we first meet her at the start of the book, and then we are taken back in time. We see how her mother, Deena, met Ruby's father Lucas and was very quickly pulled into an intense relationship that somehow weakened her ties with others, such as her sister Nessa. Very gradually we see how this relationship developed and how the red flags became more serious. It's a very, very good portrayal of how violent and abusive relationships take hold, and how they affect not only those in the relationship but all the people around them too.
Deena disappears when Ruby is small, and Ruby is then raised by her father, who cuts off Deena's family. Much of the book focuses on the horrific impact this has on Nessa, who not only loses her sister but her niece too. The way that Mannion describes how Nessa's life and mind are completely transformed by Deena's disappearance is truly heartbreaking. She becomes so obsessed with solving the mystery that some of those around her are pushed away. It's particularly sad and touching that she has a chance to have a relationship with a genuinely lovely man, Ronan, and yet feels incapable of being with him because she has been so damaged by the trauma in her family.
Parts of this book are disturbing and upsetting, and that reflects just how well the author has told the story and created the characters. It's a brilliantly written story with characters that feel very real - definitely recommended and thank you Netgalley!