Such a great story with so many levels impacted - the crime side with a "who done it", the emotional family connection, the abuser, and so much more.
This is a great story where you spend a lot working out what really happened....

My Rating: 4⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ heartbreaking and well written EXCELLENT READ!!!

It’s 2004 and Deena Garvey disappears leaving behind a daughter and her sister. Deena’s daughter Ruby grows up in an isolated country town in Vermont with her dad who only allows her to call him by his first name. The way she lives is normal to her, but it is not a normal childhood. She is constantly making sure she doesn’t make her dad angry… never asking about her absent mother who she is told left her when she was three.

Deena’s sister Nessa stays stuck in limbo in Philadelphia knowing that Deena’s ex is responsible for her sister’s disappearance, but never able to prove it. She desperately misses Ruby but is denied all access.

Over fourteen years, four hundred miles apart Ruby and Nessa slowly begin to discover the truth about what is missing in their lives and it isn’t just Deena. Unearthing secrets, lies and finding out that power and control has shaped the women they are today. Will they ever find out what happened to Deena Garvey??

Well, I was dubious about this one at first. I have been burnt so many times on NetGalley with juicy synopsis and then left with a pile of stinking trash… but this… was great. I really enjoyed it. I highly recommend it. I will address why I gave it four instead of five up front…

I felt like there could have been slightly more to the story… I think the characters were well developed but just not quite enough, the story was well told but just not quite enough. I just think it could have used slightly more oomph to power it on… BUT I really liked it. I had trouble putting it down…and the only reason I didn’t read it quicker was that I had a really busy work week and was dog tired…

I liked Ruby so much, she was my favourite character without a doubt. Even from a little girl she was fun and vibrant with a big personality, to the teenage girl she became, careful and wary and ambitious. Then as a young woman dealing with some really heavy stuff she was tough and never mean. She really went through it and she was naive but you know why.

You really hate Lucas (well I did) Ruby’s dad and you are meant to… but at times you are left wondering is he really a bad guy… did he do anything bad at all… this is the beauty of this story. There is a mystery at the heart of it and you are given bits of information along the way but it isn’t in an annoying OOOOH THERE IS A SECRET and I will drip feed you bits and pieces until I unveil a lame twist.

For me you basically know (or think you know) what is going on the whole way you just need the plot filled in. And that is exactly what the author does. She goes through the motions of multi POV and multi timelines to fill in the blanks and bring you to the penultimate ending. The first chapter had me confused… but I don’t mind a bit of confusion and that is because the first chapter starts almost at the end and you don’t know anyone yet… so you read that… then you go back in time… and forward and back until you get to the current time. Which I really love. If this style confuses or annoys you I would give this book a miss.

I really liked the writing style it was engaging and really shined on the heartbreaking emotions, there was no hand holding in this one… which I appreciated. I like to be able to understand a story without it being a play by play the whole way through. I like the writing to shine on its own so I can just follow on and the within a chapter we can move through weeks or months without the author going and then three weeks later they met up for a drink and it was a white wine spritzer with an umbrella…. This is not like that. You finish one sentence appropriately and then it moves onto the next part of the story… and that might be three weeks later… you just know this I love. Well done…

I have never read an Una Mannion book before but I will definitely be going and checking out her other (I think she only has one so far except this one) and looking for future ones. I got this in the NetGalley section of mystery and thriller I would say this is definitely more mystery but family drama and heartbreaking vibes. Definitely not a thriller. There is no serial killer, no big twist just a lot of emotion and lives that have been torn apart from an event that seemed to make no sense to anyone.

Overall, I can’t say bad things about this one it was thoroughly enjoyable and even though it didn’t get a full 5 stars from me it was down to semantics but I think they mattered in the star rating… but I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this to my GoodReads friends (Carol I think you would like this one). If you like multi-timelines and multi-POV definitely this is a winner. The only other gripe I had (and this didn’t affect my rating at all) is that the formatting is a bit off and the file made my kindle shut down every time I closed it after reading… so I think the publisher could do better there. Otherwise I highly recommend getting an Advanced Copy or published copy of this one.

Thank you to Faber & Faber, NetGalley and Una Mannion for an advanced copy of this book, all opinions expressed are my own.

Deena is missing. She left for work but didn’t arrive. Her ex takes custody of their daughter, cuts off Deena’s family and moves out of state. Suspicious? Well Deena has a history of depression, including a suicide attempt, so perhaps she just abandoned Ruby, her four-year-old? But Lucas, the ex-husband is a coercive and controlling man, with a history of domestic violence which led to a restraining order, so perhaps he drove her to the depression and to the suicide attempt? Perhaps he has killed her? How could such a man be allowed sole custody of a child? The answer to the latter is in the legal position that he might have been violent towards his wife, but there is no reason to think he will be a danger to his daughter. He has an alibi for the period when she went missing so can’t have killed her, assuming she is dead since there is no trace of her or her car. His move from Pennsylvania to Vermont clouds the issue since different states have different laws and jurisdictions can't be crossed. Deena’s family, especially her sister Nessa, with who Ruby had been happily settled are devastated but can do nothing because Lucas has refused third-party visiting rights.
The story is told from the alternating perspectives of Ruby, who knows nothing of her past except that her mother left her, and Nessa, whose life has been effectively ruined by the events but who tries to keep the whole issue alive. And so it progresses across fourteen years, as Ruby grows towards her majority. Starting quite slowly, the tale is densely packed with details of Ruby’s life with her controlling father, Deena’s life from Nessa’s memories and the cumulative effect on Nessa and her family. The writing is very powerful, painting portraits of Ruby, Nessa and Lucas which are tangible and deeply disquieting. Tension is always present, even though the plot seems so obvious, because the reader is never sure that they have its measure. The dénouement is highly rewarding. In many books, the period after the resolution is either a blank, leaving the reader with questions unanswered, or quite crowded as all the loose ends are tied together. This story does neither because the details woven so cleverly into it just leave you satisfied. I loved it.
I would like to thank NetGalley, the publishers and the author for providing me with a draft proof copy for the purpose of this review.

I'm not going to lie - I was very disappointed with how this ended. I was enjoying the storyline, it was a little slow in places but then we started to get a build up and felt like we were going to get the ending that I had been hoping for and some more answers but then it just ended. It feels like the story is very unfinished.

This was very good, really interesting story and plot and heartfelt at times. I like deeper characters in books and this fit that mould for me.
Kept me wanting more throughout and even thinking about the book well after I had finished it. Would highly recommend this!

Very enjoyable read and so hard to put down – I raced through the chapters desperate to find out what happened to Ruby after her mum Deena disappeared. Well-written, incredibly tense and chilling in parts, I loved how we were able to examine how Deena’s disappearance affected all of those people who were close to her and how this led to further trauma and pain for both Nessa and Ruby in particular. My only one minor criticism would be how quickly things were wrapped up at the end, as it contrasted with the slow burn but intriguing pace of the plot throughout the book.
Thank you to Faber and Faber and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this advanced copy.

Deena Garvey disappears in 2004 and she leaves behind a young daughter and a brother and sister.
Her daughter is taken from the family to live with her controlling father and his mother in the depths of the countryside. She has no friends and is home schooled.
Miles away her aunt has never forgotten her and is secretly watching over her.
Will they ever be re-united and at what cost?

I enjoyed this book very much although some of it was so sad it moved me to tears.

I was engrossed in the events and I almost felt that I was living it alongside Ruby and Nessa. I dont know how the author did it but particularly at the start there is a real feeling of danger and menace and in a way you are afraid to find out what happens

I felt that all the characters were well drawn and differentiated and the dialogue and events rang true and it's a great story. Ruby is a very sympathetic character and you really want things to go well for her. I felt for Nessa and the effect her losses had on her life. It was also interesting to see how she and her brother coped differently with what happened.

The chapters are headed with the month and year of the events described and at first I got a bit mixed up to start with trying to work out the exact timelines but then I realised that the exact dates of things don't really matter other than to show Ruby's age and I just read on.

The one small issue I have is that events came to a head very quickly but I can see that this would mirror Ruby's reactions - finally finding the truth after being so long in the dark and I thought the book ended too abruptly, I know we have a good idea of what happens after Ruby goes to Philadelphia but I would have liked to have read a bit more about it.

This is an excellent, absorbing read about loss, family and hope.

I loved Una Mannion’s debut, a Crooked Tree, so I jumped at the chance to read Tell Me What I Am.

There are some common themes between the two books (coming of age, poor parenting) but the settings feel different and the story is definitely unique. This, I’d describe as a back to front crime book. It’s Claustrophobic at times but snatches to another POV in time to keep you reading; Mannion’s skilled writing used very effectively.

This is a sensitive and moving story of a sister going missing, leaving behind a young, much loved daughter. Nessa is tormented by the need to find out what has happened to her sister. Meanwhile her niece Ruby cannot understand why her mother would desert her. We feel their heartbreak and bewilderment as every relationship is impacted by the one event that changed their lives for ever. Brilliantly written with very believable characters.

Tell Me What I Am by Una Mannion is an engrossing tale that requires a bit of thought as it jumps backwards and forwards across the years.

The book is about the disappearance of troubled woman Deena Garvey and the effect it has on her family,most notably sister Nessa. Deena's estranged,and abusive, partner Lucas inveigles custody of their 4 year-old daughter Ruby and takes her from Philadelphia to the wilds of rural Vermont to live with himself and his elderly mother..
As Ruby grows up she forgets her previous life but despite Lucas's best efforts it becomes obvious that she hasn't been forgotten.

This is a quite amazing piece of literary fiction with Ruby and Nessa separated by distance,and increasingly time,Nessa never giving up trying to tie the narcissistic Lucas to Deena's disappearance while Ruby is raised by him in an environment that he controls totally.
A book to savour and appreciate as well as enjoy.

This is such a powerful story of love and family. It kept me awake desperate to find out what had happened to affect them all so badly. It felt almost real like a news story.

Really enjoyed this. Was very realistic and relatable to today. Kept me hooked right to the end. To begin with I thought it was going to be something totally different so it took me by pleasant surprise.

When Deena Garvey disappears on her way to work, leaving behind her beloved four-year-old daughter, Ruby, her sister Nessa knows who is responsible. Deena had moved in with Nessa after being persuaded to leave her coercive and increasingly violent partner, Lucas. He takes Ruby away with him and his mother to the family home in a remote part of rural Vermont, denying Nessa any contact or visitation rights, and refusing to tell Ruby anything about her mother or her early life in Philadelphia. In some ways Ruby has a good life with Lucas- she learns about the natural world, how to hunt and sail, and after the authorities insist she must go to school, makes friends and grows up to be clever and resourceful. He, however, rules the household with a rod of iron, tracks her every move and his anger can erupt without warning. As Ruby matures, she begins to have fleeting memories of her mother and increasingly longs to know more about her, but has been forbidden to ever use the internet and has her mail intercepted by Lucas. Nessa, meanwhile, is haunted by grief and refuses to give up on the hope that she will one day be able to get justice for Deena and to be reunited with Ruby, This is a beautifully written novel with powerfully drawn characters, and is really about how love and family endures. The raw grief Nessa feels for the loss of her sister and niece reverberates throughout, and she is unable to accept and move on with her life without doing everything she can to ensure Ruby’s safety. Ruby’s is a coming-of-age story that illustrates that insistent, primal need to know where you have come from and who your parents are, and her struggles will break your heart. My only criticism is that I felt it ended rather abruptly- I wanted more details! A lovely, bittersweet read.

I've been reading 'Tell Me What I Am' by Una Mannion 📚

This book is chilling in its profile of a controlling, abusive partner, Lucas, and his total manipulation first of Deena and then of their daughter Ruby. All the red flags are there, madly flapping in the air, but he encourages a distance from others and they in turn choose to mind their own business and say nothing. The cost is paid by Deena and Ruby and it is devastating on them, their worlds made small, their choices curtailed and their every move monitored.

Spoiler alert 🚨
Deena goes missing without a trace and her sister, Nessa, suspects Lucas has something to do with this. While she tries to find out what happened to Deena, Lucas concentrates on his daughter and removes her to Vermont cutting off all contact with Nessa and her world up to that point.

The novel follows both Nessa and Ruby; Nessa in her inability to move on with her own life and Ruby in her quest to learn about her early life and her mother, not content that Lucas has been honest with her. She embarks on a search for an answer to the title question, 'Tell Me What I Am', that most fundamental of searches.

This is an excellent read and really shows the enemy living in plain sight just managing to evade detection by carefully orchestrating every move; frightening really 😬

🚩🚩🚩 Not to be ignored!

Thankyou netgalley for this book. I enjoyed the story. Had me hooked. The different characters were also interesting. Loved it

Thank you for allowing me to review this book. I enjoyed this story of Ruby and Nessa as they each searched for the missing Deena. Ruby lives with her father Lucas and Grandmother, Clover. She knows her mother disappeared when she was 2 years old. She has always felt different to her peers and her father doesn't answer her questions about her mother.
The story is written on different timelines and jumps between Ruby and Nessa. At times this was confusing but as you read more it falls into place. I was hooked early on, eager to know more. The characters are very well written and the isolated location was well described.

A quite unusual psychological thriller.
The book follows the story of Ruby who from the age of 4 goes to live with her very controlling father, Lucas, and his mother, Clover.. she is home schooled by her father until the authorities make her go to School. She is not allowed to know anything about her mother other than she disappeared. Her aunt however never gives up trying to find her to bring her home. I throughly enjoyed this book.

Deena and Nessa are very close. Two sisters, from a close knit Irish/Italian family who all live in Philadelphia. When Deena gets together with Lucas, both family and friends think she is moving too fast, and they are concerned with how Lucas treats Deena. When Ruby, their baby, comes along, everyone is enthralled by her and the relationship between Deena and Ruby is unbreakable. This makes the action that Deena takes unthinkable to her family.

It took a while for me to get into this story. Swift changes of timelines, and the style of writing took some getting used to. Plus the fact that the arc was very disjointed didn’t help. However, how glad am I that I persevered? A brilliantly told story, engrossing, with love, pain, heartbreak and darkness. The characterisation was excellent and the plot was moving and gently woven.

I look forward to rereading in its complete form on publication.

Thank you NetGalley.