"My Side of the River" is a beautifully written memoir by debut author Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez, which details her life growing up as a first generation Mexican immigrant in the US, and her pursuit of the "American Dream".

Growing up in Tucson, Arizona, Elizabeth has always had the awareness that she and her family were different; from the color of her skin to the financial struggles that she did her best to hide from others, she watched as her mother and father were forced to take under-the-table jobs like cleaning movie theaters at night or working in unsafe manufacturing conditions in order to make ends meet. Nonetheless, her parents' sacrifice meant that Elizabeth and her younger brother Fernando were born as US Citizens - a status that they would never have. Her mother also instilled in her the drive to the best, something that Elizabeth held onto as she grew older and excelled in academics, hoping to attend one of the country's prestigious universities. Her perseverance held strong even when her parents were unable to return from a routine trip to Mexico while she was in middle school, denied a visa that split their family apart. Despite the difficulties, she's able to graduate top of her class in high school and accepts a place to the University of Pennsylvania for college.

What I hit close to home for me (as a fellow UPenn / Wharton graduate) was the struggles she went through in college; the constant pressure to continue to achieve, despite being pit against some of the smartest and most privileged young adults in the nation and world, and the hyper-focus on landing an equally prestigious internship and job in the banking and consulting world after. And even after being able to do so, the disillusionment continues when she begins working in the corporate finance industry in NYC, facing underlying racism and sexism from her manager and peers. Nonetheless, she makes it through the other end with her happiness intact and is able to reunite with her family members.

I'm admittedly biased towards this memoir as much of Gutierrez's story mirrors my own; as a first generation Asian immigrant who was focused on my academics, attended Wharton, and started working in finance in NYC after a grueling OCR process - I understood much of the internalized pressure she placed on herself as a child and an adult, the assumption of happiness and success tied to certain milestones, and the ongoing obligation to our parents and families placed on immigrant children, especially the eldest. She peels back the layers of the complicated expectations of her life, how growing up in poverty continues to have repercussions in her present, and the struggle to prioritize herself against the rest of her family. It's a much-needed perspective in the typical story of chasing the "American Dream", and the unexpected costs it can have on families.

Very much a recommended read when this memoir is published February 13, 2024!

The author has gone through a lot and her determination is impressive. I was intrigued by the synopsis and wanted to learn more about her experience and account of the US immigration system. I expected this to be an emotional read but instead found the writing to be matter of fact and detached.

Thank you to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a copy.

I really appreciated the writer's storytelling style. "No matter how hugely pregnant she grew, she was determined to waddle her ass over the border before I was born if that's what it took." There's immigrant tenacity, and I also feel like I'm talking to my BFF at the bar about her arduous journey. Gutierrez is a great writer, and this book expands the literature of immigration and diaspora.

Reading this memoir allowed me to walk in the shoes of a young immigrant girl who basically ended up raising herself when her parents were forced to return to Mexico. I cannot imagine most people of that age being able to survive on their own, let alone finish high school at the top of their class and gain admission to Ivy-league colleges. She put a lot of pressure on herself to always "be the best" as well as feeling responsible for her family back in Mexico. I immediately went online to view her Ted Talk, which helped me put a face and voice behind the words I had just read. Thanks to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press and the author for an advance copy to read and review.

*I received a copy of this book on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for this opportunity*

In her memoir, Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez chronicles her life as a US citizen in a family of immigrants through her major life events. After a heartbreaking separation her freshman year of high school, Gutierrez finds herself alone in the United States with the remainder of her family in Mexico– only the promise of an education and her own grit powering her through homelessness and extreme poverty.

MY SIDE OF THE RIVER speaks on the bonds and responsibilities of family, as well as the reality of America’s aggressive immigration policy. Gutierrez chronicles her struggles with food insecurity, mental health, and the demands of corporate America on a brown girl.

Elizabeth's memoir tells the story of her growing up with Mexican parents who come to America on tourist visas and scrape together a life of hard work, poor living conditions and family conflict, hoping to give their children something better. They made sure Elizabeth went to school in the more privileged side of Tucson because they were convinced that a quality education was the key to a better life. The "brown" girl who pushed the limits and didn't fit in to her various circumstances. The life she led with her brother Fer, who was initially brought back to Mexico after her parents had to leave and then returned to the U.S. as her ward so he too could have the same educational opportunities. Her life in Arizona, Philadelphia [at Penn], and then New York City as a member of the workforce [in finance]. The pressure on this generation to succeed and the struggles that occur may help open some peoples eyes. The book is engaging and shows the struggles and pressures. Elizabeth does everything in her power to provide a better and easier life to her brother. The love she has for her brother is unmatched.

Thank you to the publisher, Net Galley and the author for the opportunity.

This memoir is a must read for anyone who doesn't understand how difficult it can be for some immigrant families to get ahead in the US. Elizabeth takes us to her childhood where her parents did all that they could to provide the best opportunities to their American born children. Since she was little, Elizabeth's mother reminded her that the only way to get ahead was "to be the best". When Elizabeth's parents are forced to leave the US when she is a teenager, Elizabeth stays and continues to do "her best" and finds herself pushing her body and her mind to the limit while constantly being judged for being brown, homeless, Mexican, etc... Through her hunger pains she manages to achieve what few teenagers can dream of. And all the while, she never forgets her family, especially the younger brother who she vows will one day return to her care in the US and go to college.

I read this in one day as I just could not put it down. Elizabeth's story will get under your skin and your heart will ache for the trauma that she endured and the obstacles that she overcame. You will wish that it wasn't so hard for people with her motivation and dedication to achieve their dreams. And you will marvel at what an amazing woman, daughter, and sister she is.

Thank you to St. Martin's Press for a digital review copy of this memoir.

In My Side of the River Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez recounts her life story, growing up the oldest child of Mexican immigrants. Her story of overcoming and resilience was impressive and she has a warm and candid way of sharing her childhood memories. She gives a glimpse into her family relationships, education, and how being an immigrant impacted her life.

When Elizabeth was 15 her parents, who had tourist visas were denied renewal and they were forced to stay in Mexico. Elizabeth was forced to live with a family who ignored and neglected her. Despite her hardships and struggles she was able to do well in school and get accepted to a good university.

My Side of the River is a poignant memoir and I enjoyed reading it. For me, it lacked a little emotional connection. I would have liked more depth on how being an immigrant and her experiences impacted her and her family. Instead she spends the majority of the book highlighting the big events in her life and career which while impressive made the book miss the mark slightly first me.

I would recommend this book to people that enjoy memoirs and are interested in immigration and social justice issues. This would be a great book to discuss! Thank you to Net Galley and St. Martin’s Press for this eARC.

I don’t really have much to say about this memoir other than PLEASE READ IT!!

Elizabeth’s will to rise above the circumstances life dealt her is something to be admired. It is a tough read but I am so glad I was given the opportunity to read it.

Interesting story of the daughter of Mexican immigrants although somewhat confusing as the parents came here on a travel visa with the intent to work in the United States, have their children in the United States, in hopes of one day being able to live here permanently when their children were grown and able to sponsor them. This is a story of how they managed the system, working jobs under the table, never paying taxes, avoiding ICE, but still thinking of Mexico as "home". While I understand that parents may want the best for their child, I can't condone the deceit of taking advantage of others just because you think you are entitled when it has not been earned. (Case in point is lying about where you live to go to a different school or taking something because really who would miss it.) When her parents go back to Mexico and are denied another visa to return, Elizabeth, the author and daughter, chooses to stay in the United States to pursue her education alone Additionally, her little brother goes back with them. She is basically homeless while even sleeping on the sofa of a family she barely knows. However, she comes to the attention of counselors at school who take her under their wing to help her get assistance for food and clothing, to support her. Would this have happened had she not been rated first in her class with a 4.0 GPA? I don't know. Heartbreaking at times, I commend her drive, determination, and courage to succeed and to help her younger brother do the same. But it seemed that she used her situation to gain advantages and opportunities, although she had every right to own her own story. The writing itself was like a conversation, although there was a lot of repetition that made it drag at times. Elizabeth provides a good context of immigration laws and policies that cam in to effect and affected her and her family. It's a dilemma here as who am I to judge one's own story? But in reading this memoir, I was confused why did she write her story? However, it is an interesting account of those who are children of immigrants, and the challenges that they've had to go through, even being born here in the United States. Many thanks to #netgalley #mysideoftheriver #st.martinspress #eliabethcamarillogutierrez for the opportunity to read and review this book.

Memoir is a tough genre when you can't quite connect to the narrative voice. On the one hand, what business do I have giving any memoir a rating? On the other hand, that's what we do with these review sites, and so I will do my best to review this book honestly. First off, Gutierrez is clearly a strong, admirable woman who has been through experiences that I can't even imagine. I have great respect for her and what she has made of her life. The writing was utilitarian, basic but solid. Later in the book, Gutierrez mentions that she feels disassociated and distanced from the emotions of her personal experiences due to recounting her events so many times in so many circumstances. This pretty much summed up my feelings about the memoir overall - there was a lack of emotional depth that prevented me from feeling invested. In general, I think people need more years and seasoning before they should attempt memoirs, especially since there could have been a great deal more substance to the very real and very large immigration issues Gutierrez addresses. Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for a digital review copy.

Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez's memoir, "My Side of the River," offers a captivating and deeply personal glimpse into her life journey. Gutierrez's storytelling skillfully immerses the reader in her world. From moments of anger when she faced mistreatment and judgment to profound sadness when her parents left, I found myself sharing in her struggles, feeling proud of her resilience, and celebrating her successes, especially her journey to college and admission to UPenn (even though her college experience did not turn out the way her idealistic high school self thought it would be).

Reviewing a memoir can be challenging, as one must separate the author's life story from their writing style, and ability to establish a narrative. However, in Gutierrez's case, her writing shines brightly. Her memoir is not just a collection of her experiences, both joyful and sorrowful; it is a beautifully written narrative that kept me engaged from start to finish.

Gutierrez's story feels remarkably honest, self-aware, and reflective of who she is and how her experiences shaped her. Her life was profoundly shaped by the realization that she couldn't live like her peers. In high school, after her parents were unable to renew their tourist visas to the US she carried the burden of not having parents to support her, and having to live with strangers that did not give a shit about her. She had to navigate life's challenges independently, with responsibilities that extended beyond her years. She reflects on her ambition, driven by her family's sacrifices, and questions about whether she pursued it for herself or out of obligation.

The theme of responsibility permeates Gutierrez's narrative. She was continually tasked with caring for her family, whether it was looking after her brother when he moved to the US for high school or facing future responsibilities of supporting her parents. This intense sense of duty left her wondering if she could ever live life for herself or make choices solely for herself.

"I wondered about the responsibility I bore to make something of myself but never for myself."

Gutierrez's memoir also delves into the resentment she felt at having to commodify her trauma to level the playing field with those who had stability and support. It's unfair that she had to package her hardships just to be admitted to the spaces that were available to everyone else, often facing judgement and just plain hatred. Despite working tirelessly, she was never afforded the luxury of simply being herself. She eloquently conveys the struggle of having to be a "super-immigrant" rather than an individual.

"Deep down, I hated the way I was commodifying my traumas — making them palatable to people and companies who cared only about revenue. And yet I still did it because I was good at it. Because it gave me access to power and spaces with money. Because these decisions, these stupid little interviews, could give me the foundation to change my world. but keeping up the facade was exhausting."

In summary, "My Side of the River" is a remarkable memoir deserving of a full 5-star rating. Gutierrez's writing skillfully captures her experiences, balancing the portrayal of hardships with moments of joy. She is not only a compelling storyteller but also possesses the potential to excel as a professional writer if she chooses to pursue that path. Her memoir is a powerful exploration of identity, ambition, sacrifice, and resilience that will leave a lasting impact on readers. I really cannot capture the impact that her memoir had on me in this review, and all I can say is that you must read it for yourself.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing an advance copy of this memoir in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you for letting me read this book. It was informative about the experience of a child and young adult navigating the country of her own citizenship and that of her immigrant parents. I was often disappointed in the narrative that I felt gave less credit than was due to both the author herself and to those who furnished opportunities for her. I will share the book with those that I feel are interested in this kind of subject but will not be posting a review on my blog since I only share books there that I can recommend whole-heartedly.

Elizabeth and her brother are born in the US making them citizens while their parents only have temporary travel visas. Those visas were renewable until the environment changed and they got blacklisted to reapply leaving Elizabeth instructions to “be the best” in school. They felt an American education was the ultimate goal and prize. Despite horrible living conditions, hunger and mental neglect she prospers but will not consider herself successful until she can find a way for her brother to come back to the US and get his educational opportunity as well. I intentionally chose this memoir to experience our immigration struggles and brokenness through her eyes . Elizabeth fully accomplished this with her story by weaving the political history of immigration laws in the last 15 years with her powerful and truly inspiring story.

Thank you to St Martin’s Press and NetGalley for the ARC! #NetGalley

Thanks to St. Martin’s Press for the copy of this book!

Fantastic memoir - I’m just going to post my favorite quote and I think you’ll be able to get the overall vibe. READ THIS. Or listen because Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez narrates her own story.

“ On one end of the spectrum, there was the narrative of the super-immigrant— the newly arrived person who strives to be the best, who assimilates and somehow overcomes everything that comes between them and success. Society loves these immigrants, praising them and benefiting from their contributions. These are the immigrants that we idolize as the ideal symbols of American success, as achievers of the elusive American dream.

On the other end of the spectrum are the immigrants people use as scapegoats. They're laborers and dishwashers. They're the janitors in my high school, my uncle and aunt, my mom and dad. They're people who come across good opportunities. They're the immigrants people hate and talk shit about straight to my face. They're the immigrants that white people love to tell me that I am not like.”

What an exceptional portrayal of Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez’s life. She was a child born in Arizona while her parents lived in America with tourist visas from when she was age 4 until 15. During that time, Elizabeth gave a look into her life and the struggles her family faced in not being able to legally work in this county. Her voice seemed very honest and raw in the telling of her remarkable life. At the age of 15, her parents left her and her younger brother with family in America while they went back to renew their visas in Mexico. They expected this to be just a few short weeks. However, the visa application was denied, and Elizabeth was determined to continue on her American education as the top student in her grade. She faced many challenges. The parts of her life she shared were very eye opening and actually left me wanting the book to be even longer with more details. While her memoir is quick and easy to read, it has left an impression on me.

Thank you to St. Martin’s Press, Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez, and NetGalley for allowing me to read an advanced reader’s copy in exchange for an honest review.

Special thanks to St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for an advanced copy to read and review. This book is expected to publish on February 13, 2024.

Elizabeth Camarilla Guiterrez was born here in the United States making her an American citizen. When her parents get deported back to Mexico, she chooses to remain here in order to finish high school and college in order to change her life and her family's. Elizabeth's fastidious nature and drive help her succeed in ways only a few have seen. All of these advantages still have her wondering, "what is the 'American Dream?'"

I am so thankful for the time and energy Elizabeth Camarilla Guiterrez took to share her story. While I knew of immigrants who had been separated from their families (either by choice or force), this book put a face and name to that story. Elizabeth’s story is one of dreams and success (as she now works on the trade floor after getting an Ivy League education), but it came at great cost and sacrifice to her and her family. I think there are still some things she’s processing through, which makes sense as she endured a host of obstacles.

I’d recommend this book for those who enjoyed the themes in the book Educated by Tara Westover.

CW: alcohol abuse, domestic abuse, family separation, homelessness

Special note: I do not rate memoirs for content as I believe each person's story is valuable. This star rating reflects what I thought of the writing and how engaging it was as I read.

This book has been splashed onto all of the 2024 lists of books to watch for, so I was so excited to get a copy. I was also excited to read an own voices account of a woman growing up and separated from her parents by US immigration policy. This is a story that needs to be told, and Carmarillo Gutierrez has the story that most would want to read. She has overcome a lot, and has a drive to succeed that few people can match. It was her drive that kept her number one in her class with all of the extracurriculars while her parents were unable to reenter the US. It was her drive that got her in and through Penn. It was her drive that landed her on NPR as a college student and on the TED stage less than 2 years out of college. For all of these reasons and for the plight of her family and her strength we need to hear her story, and it is clear that this story is in her words, there is obviously no ghost writer involved.

As a memoir, beyond the story of this remarkable young woman, this falls flat. Camarillo Gutierrez comments repeatedly about how she is viewed as the daughter of immigrants (she also refers to herself as an immigrant, she is a US citizen but has lived in both Mexico and the US) and that she worries that are successes are used as a model to justify the treatment of other immigrants that don’t reach the same levels of success. Which I appreciate as a sentiment, but this is a memoir that glorifies the success (through a very WASP lens) and the extreme sacrifices that she and her family had to make for her success. This is giving political memoir just before a candidate announces… which could be a good thing.

My worry is that this will be used by those in power not as a love letter to immigrants, but instead as an excuse against individuals who are not exceptional. Not everyone can or will be exceptional, and that does not justify dehumanization for those that are closer to average.

I’m glad that a book like this is getting hyped. However, I would hope that books like Undocumented Americans would also get love from and eyes on the page.

Last note, this was an uncorrected copy, so I know that the finished product paying customers will read will be more polished, but this edition was pretty rough even when compared to other ARCs. I hope that a good and thoughtful editor has been working with the author to produce the best writing possible for the end product.

This memoir appealed to me because I was also raised in an immigrant household and although our circumstances were different, I thought that the author's experience might resonate with me. As always, it's hard to critique a memoir and evaluate how someone has described their own life, so I'll just say that it simply didn't work for me. Although Camarillo Gutierrez's writing is good enough, I wish there was more detail given -- she skates over her entire life and doesn't spend much time really engaging with the topic of undocumented immigration on a grander scale or even the finer details of how it affected her family's everyday life. I would have preferred this to the timeline of her life based on the big events, but that's just me. Her tone and some of her sentiments also rubbed me the wrong way at times. At the end of the book, she talks about turning her trauma into "gold" and packaging her experience to her benefit in the context of applying to schools and jobs, but that strikes me as the driver behind this book as well and overall, it missed the mark for me.

Also, the ARC was filled with typos and errors -- even the family's name inexplicably switches halfway through.

Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez has written a memoir that is both heartbreaking and triumphant. She has shared an intimate look at the family relationships and the inept public policies that influenced and shaped her life. I greatly appreciated the insight she shares about the struggles of immigrants and their children. This would be an excellent book club read providing plenty of opportunity for discussion. Thank you #NetGalley #McMillan #ElizabethCamarilloGutierrez