Member Reviews

I Used to Be ___, Chuck and Ashley Elliott have written a book detailing ways in which we can deal in a healthy way with the used to be and navigate through your grief. Chuck is a pastor and Ashley is a Christian counselor. In the book, they shared how they used to be expecting a child in 2015, 2016, and 2017. They experience three miscarriages three years in a row. They explained how they worshipped, felt devastated, and faced traumatic experiences in the hospital. She shared how she wondered if God even cared about her pain and she questioned His silence. In the book, they also revealed Chuck’s struggled with porn and how it affects their relationship. They walked readers through how to process grief and unmet expectations. They encouraged readers to be present in their thoughts. They had a helpful chart showing positive thoughts and negative and how it all links up in the grief process.



I would recommend this awesome book to anyone who is struggling with lost and grief and they are needing some guidance through it. No one gets through life not experiencing some sort of lost. Either a loved one, job, marriage, or dream. I connected with how they explored how they dealt with their own hurts and devastations and how they tried to encourage others through the pain. This book contains helpful tools to put into practice.






I received this book free from Revell for my honest review.

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Excellent, practical and helpful information provided in an easy-to-understand format. Highly recommended for anyone who has experienced loss and struggle with their new reality.

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I Used to Be _____ came into my life in a moment where I truly needed it. Chuck and Ashley's book an interactive journey through grief, loss, and heartbreak. They walk you through their journey, all the while pointing you to biblical teachings that can help bring you through the healing process. If you're struggling to move past one of life's disappointments, you should definitely read Chuck and Ashley Elliots book, I Used to Be. ___,

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The description sounded great, but the manuscript itself is clunky, despite shorter chapters that should be pretty bite-size. They say "I, Chuck, xyz" or "I, Ashley, 123" all the time, and while it's good to know who is making what point, it absolutely interrupts the flow of the book. They go back to three particular difficulties/losses in their life throughout the book, but it just never really connected... perhaps because they didn't have a through-line, maybe because they dipped in and out of each, or maybe due to often mentioning completely random people and their stories (no idea who so and so is, where they came from, etc). I was taken aback by this statement in chapter 6 -- they write, "God doesn't want much of the suffering that exists in the world." Not much, just some? Hmm. They didn't unpack this elsewhere, that I could find.

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I've been through a lot of trauma and grief in my life and I really enjoyed this. I am not super religious so it was probably not the book for me, but it was helpful to think when I was thinking of how to process things. Not sure if I would read it again, but it was good for people looking for these kinds of books.

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This is a helpful resource for Christians experiencing grief and loss. It is written with compassion and provides biblical ways to face life's losses.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley. My review is voluntary and the opinions expressed are my own.

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This book was written with a lot of courage and compassion and has some great advice about various ways to cope with grief and disappointments based on faith. The authors definitely value that importance of feeling your emotions because they are a part of you and it will help you heal. Their advice comes from the heart and a place of love for others.

I did like this BUT it was on the churchy side of advice. If you are not a Christian or have a belief in God, this book may not be for you. Still recommended but not my favorite self-help book.

Thanks to NetGalley, Chuck and Ashley Elliot and Revel for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

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Greif escapes no one. The authors share their real life experiences and give practical advice on ways to cope with lifes curveballs. Their vulnerability exposed my own heart and allowed me to be real with myself and issues in my own life that needed addressed. I admire their bravery in writing this book, we can all learn from their example. There are times in life we feel we are alone, we need to cling on to the one who holds us all in His hands. Even if you are one who feels you have it all figured out and are in a healthy place coping with grief, I encourage you to read this and not come away with some golden nuggets and see where you may have some blind spots. The truth is grief will find us all. Use this book as a guide to deal and cope from a healthy space. This is not a book you'll just read once and be done. We will go through multiple times in life where this will be a reference on how to deal with life in the moment when we aren't thinking as straight. Use their methods on problems individually will help out and work through the grief. I'm humbled and honored to have read this book. This book will relate to all who pick it up. I want to thank Chuck and Ashley Elliott along with the publisher Revell for allowing me to have an ARC for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

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"I Used to Be ___" is a profound and compassionate guide that combines biblical wisdom with mental health tools to help individuals navigate the challenging journey of grief. Written by pastor Chuck Elliott and counselor Ashley Elliott, this book offers a reassuring hand to those who find themselves in the realm of "used to be" after experiencing various losses in life.

Grief is a universal experience that can leave us feeling lost, empty, and overwhelmed. The authors acknowledge the deep sorrow that comes with significant losses, whether it's the loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, health, or any other aspect of life that once defined us. They emphasize that dwelling in this state of grief is natural and expected, but they also highlight that it is not a place we are meant to stay forever.

Drawing on biblical teachings and mental health techniques, Chuck Elliott and Ashley Elliott skillfully guide readers through the unseen elements of grief. They encourage individuals to fully embrace and process their emotions, allowing them to feel the pain and sorrow without judgment. By doing so, readers are offered a path toward true healing and growth.

The book provides valuable coping strategies for those moments when moving forward feels impossible. Readers will find comfort in the practical advice that helps them face their grief while maintaining their faith. Furthermore, the authors address the importance of seeing oneself, life, and loved ones in healthy ways, promoting positive thinking patterns that contribute to overall healing.

One of the remarkable aspects of "I Used to Be ___" is the blend of spiritual guidance and psychological insights. By intertwining these perspectives, the authors create a comprehensive approach that resonates with a wide range of readers, regardless of their religious background. The result is a compassionate and practical guidebook that offers solace and support during life's most challenging times.

Throughout the book, Chuck Elliott and Ashley Elliott's writing style is warm, understanding, and relatable. Their words feel like a conversation with a trusted friend, assuring readers that they are not alone in their grief journey. The book is organized in a clear and accessible manner, making it easy to navigate and absorb the wisdom it offers.

In conclusion, "I Used to Be ___" is a valuable resource for anyone experiencing grief and loss. With its combination of biblical insights and mental health tools, the book stands as a guiding light toward a brighter future. Chuck Elliott and Ashley Elliott remind readers that, even in the depths of sorrow, there is hope for a future where they "will be" once more. This book is a compassionate companion on the path to healing and finding new meaning in life after loss.

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