This graphic novel explores a lot of hard hitting topics including: codependency, divorce, abusive relationships, alcoholism, and mental illness. Raw and gritty Lila Ash gives readers a deep dive into her life, struggles, hopes, dreams, and most importantly her healing journey.

WOW. This book hit home HARD.

I found this book on a whim because I was working on a book challenge that called for a comic or graphic novel. So, I looked through NetGalley to see what was out there, and when I saw this, it peeked my interest, and it was READ NOW so I decided to give it a go.

I was NOT expecting to feel so called out by the time I was done with it. LOL

Something you need to know about me: I'm pretty much a therapist's dream. There's something to be said about someone who is SO self-aware of all their short-comings (codependent, ADHD, anxious/depressed), and not being able to do anything about it. And all those terrible relationships I was in (I use the term relationship very loosely) were just me looking for something to latch onto to get away from something else (usually my parents).

I AM happy to report that I'm in a relatively healthy relationship now - we still have our days where my short-comings get the better of me!

Decodependence deals with the intricacies and challenges of relationships, sex, and coming-of-age. While written as a memoir, the storyline is one I imagine many readers can relate to, especially readers who have hit their 20s.

The memoir is sectioned into chapters that tackle different aspects of being codependent and having an unhealthy attachment style. The author gives life to her memories in a way that rings genuine and relatable, discussing her relationship with her parents, her sexual awakening, and her first real boyfriend and love. While the graphic novel is filled with that sense of dread and hopelessness that sits in your stomach at 18, 19, 25, and every age in between, the author ends her work with a sense of hope and offers some solutions for this way of life that can be draining and debilitating at its worst.

The art style gives a diaristic feel to the narrative, and while not my favorite art style, fits with the themes and storyline of the work.

Check CW/TW before reading. Thanks to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for this honest review.

Lila Ash’s personal story of codependency is honest and raw.

The illustrations are creative and entertaining.

This book is full of dark emotions and a bit sad.

"Decodependence" is an eye-opening tale of one woman's struggle with relationship Codependency. The author highlights her struggle using a comic medium. This choice gave her story a different light as the portrayal of each panel only deepened the emotional impact. There were times I recognized my own behaviors and got angry at the author for going back to a relationship that only caused her pain. It's easier to judge when it's laid out in front of you, but not so easy to see when you're in the middle of it. The author completed a full circle with her Codependence, highlighting her early years with her father, her need to be wanted as a teen, and not seeing a cycle of abuse as a woman.

"Decodependence" presents an intriguing concept but falls short of fully delivering on its promise. While there are elements to appreciate, the overall execution left me with a sense of detachment. It's a book that might resonate more with readers seeking a different approach to examining relationships through technology.

The author is straightforward and pulls no punches when it comes to detailing her fraught history with her mental illness and codependent tendencies when it comes to sex and relationships. Quick read, but not to be taken lightly.

I would actually feel bad to read a very personal story and give low review. However, despite of this being an okay one, I can't seem to handle the nudity or sex related topic in this book. It's hard to read through...

I give Lila Ash props for telling her story. It could not have been an easy process making her life so public like this. However, I am too much of a prude for this story. I did not realize it would have been so focused on her underage sexual endeavors. For this reason I did not really enjoy it and the 3 out 5 stars is more for the strength Lila has shown telling her story.

Also, warning if you are going to read this on the kindle, the formatting does not work properly. This is my first attempt at a Netgally arc so I am unsure if this is by design to deter piracy or if there was an issue between the file and my kindle. I did not take this into consideration in my rating.

I have the same issue as a lot of other reviewers where I find it hard to rate and review someone's personal story, because the things I can still critique are much less. This is a true story, and something that happened to someone, so it's not like I can discuss how good the plot was or how realistic the characters or story felt. Instead, the focus in these reviews is always going to be more about the telling of this story, and whether that worked for me specifically or not, and I think unfortunately it just didn't for me this time. I think it just felt a bit too unstructured at points, which felt jarring when combined with very structured chapters the book was divided in. I think the best example of this was how the timeline seemed fairly straightforward, yet there would be scenes or pages that would suddenly skip back or forward, but not in a way that truly felt like a flashback or flashforward. Instead, I feel like one chapter would focus on a specific aspect, and sometimes to close off the chapter, we'd skip forward a few years or look back at something, only for the next chapter to start at some undetermined time during the middle of the past chapter. So while the story generally moved forward linearly, we would have lots of overlap between the chapters, but not in a way that felt clear to me. I feel like smoother transitions could've really helped here, and I wouldn't have spent the beginning of each chapter trying to figure out where in the story I was starting (or restarting). I also feel like it might've helped to not separate all these aspects of the story into their own chapters, as it made it less clear how everything fit together until closer to the end, and sometimes certain aspects of the main character's experience felt disjointed, rather than cohesive. Overall, it wasn't a bad story or comic, I just feel like it could've been executed slightly better.

I had the pleasure of delving into the graphic memoir Decodependence: A Romantic Tragicomic by Lila Ash, and it's a vulnerable yet humorous journey through the lens of recovering codependency. Ash skillfully combines charming illustrations and a sardonic yet relatable voice to explore her experiences with family, love, and sex. In her late twenties, she found herself trapped in the traumas of her past relationships, trying everything from therapy to drugs before discovering Codependents Anonymous (CoDA), where she realized she ticked off every box for codependency. As she draws her way through her experiences, she fearlessly confronts the codependent behaviors that have shaped her life.

This memoir is an open and honest portrayal of codependence, addressing mental health and boundaries with grace. However, as I journeyed through the pages, I found myself pondering the book's intended audience. While the raw and in-the-moment storytelling adds authenticity, it also leaves me wondering if the author is still processing their experiences. Nevertheless, Decodependence is a compelling read that sheds light on codependent relationship behaviors, making it an excellent choice for those seeking understanding in their own lives. Whether you're a fan of graphic novelists or interested in mental health narratives, this memoir promises to leave a lasting impression.

An interesting graphic memoir that delves in to explore how it is that some of the bad habits within modern day society are acquired and the thinking behind them and the journey to overcome them.

Thank you Netgalley and the publishers for allowing me to read this e-arc
I didn't enjoy this book that much. The graphics were very hard to read online too.

Lila Ash shares in visual and narrative format in this book, and the use of words and images works well. I appreciate the way Ash uses the comics form to share a personal story and exploration, and recommend Decodependence for readers who want to see new directions in the medium.

Overall, this was an entertaining summer read for me. Author and illustrator Lila Ash meets the reader with refreshing self-awareness. This immediately ingratiates the reader to Ash. Because of this, as a reader I couldn’t help but root for her, despite romantic choices that would make even Carrie Bradshaw blush. At times the prose comes off as cliché, but the author’s honesty and earnestness in her storytelling overshadows moments of hokeyness. Ash’s strongest element in this tragicomic is how she is able to convey the dark seriousness of codependency, a word often thrown around in the TikTok sphere; in this book codependency is given the gravity it isn’t often afforded. The reader is left with the realization that codependency isn’t far off from evolving into domestic abuse, and the hope that Ash can continue on a healthy path that includes both love and independence.

I was not expecting to relate and feel called out as much as I did while reading this. Funny and heartbreaking, this graphic memoir explores the cartoonist’s life experiences around men, including her father, with each chapter starting off with a characteristic of being codependent. Part of me wished the book was in black and white.

I'm newer to the graphic novel memoir genre....so don't feel fair to give a review as this book in comparison to the genre as a whole. That being said, I enjoyed reading this but didn't feel like it connected with me as a reader as much as other graphic novel memoirs.

This was pretty funny at points, little sad at others, but my main gripe with this book is how it was presented as a review copy. A double spread for every page, making it where had to zoom in each time to read a page, made it very difficult to read. On top of it having a copyright note every single page. Probably not the best idea when trying to have someone read and enjoy the book.

But it is pretty solid storytelling. Very newspaper design for the storytelling but a deeper, a lot more sexual, than that of course. I believe this might be about the author's life, and like any person, we depending on people. She might a bit too much at points, but that's the point of the entire book. Sure plenty can relate.

A 3 out of 5. Thank you Netgallery for a ARC for a fair review.

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Y'all I have been in my graphic novel memoir era. This one was certainly darker than my past reads (drug and alcohol abuse, toxic and abusive relationships, pedophilia) but I thought the author, Lila Ash, handled it all well as she explored various aspects of codependency. I feel uncomfortable judging memoirs, especially about such a personal material, the same way I do for novels, but I will say I did enjoy this despite it being heavier than my usual reads. I liked the art style and the way the book was in sections based on things codependents struggle with, I would not recommend this to just anyone, as it could be quite triggering, but for someone looking for a read focusing on mental illness and coming out the other side, I would say check it out!
3.5 stars

It is very challenging to rate someone's memoir, so instead, I would like to focus on the structure of the book itself. I ultimately decided to read this on my Kindle app on my tablet in order to have it in color rather than in black and white, but ultimately, I don't think that makes a significant difference. I enjoyed the concept of the novel as a memoir comic, but there were some structural pieces that I found distracting. I'm not sure if it was just on my device, but the lines breaks were sometimes confusing.

I think it was an interesting read, but not necessarily something I would pick up again.