
Member Reviews

A brave and honest recollection of the author's struggle with codependence and how it impacted her views on sex and love, Decodependence is at once hopeful and very difficult to read, at times. The chapters are divided into specific stories about the author at a certain time in her life, all of which bring up sub-themes that fall under the main theme of codependence. It's not only interesting as a story, but also insightful and education to anyone who has struggled with codependence or known someone who is.

On the fence about this one. On one hand, this could be a valuable resource for people dealing with dependency in their relationships. On the other hand it feels like reading someone’s diary or listening in on their therapy sessions. As someone inexperienced with these kinds of relationships, reading this book made me feel a bit awkward. Giving this a yes vote as I believe some people would definitely benefit from reading it.

Decodependence is a very interesting and even uncomfortable to read in parts as it seems a little too familiar to my teenage memory.
It is well written and beautifully illustrated. An important memoir which will speak to many people I am sure.

The 4 star rating is for overall.
Storyline is a 4 star as well.
Graphics is a 2 star though.
This book was a little of a let down but it was still good. I enjoyed the story it told about being codependent on other people and wanting to try to change so that you don't depend on others so much.
But, on the other hand the graphics were not my style at all. Some were a little too strange and some just didn't make sense to me for the placement of the picture.

I expected to relate to some elements of this memoir, but I was not prepared to be called out that much. I couldn't put it down. The attention to detail in the art helped propel the story and added elements of humor.
I enjoyed that the end was not fully resolved or a set of instructions on how to 'cure' yourself. Though it isn't a self-help book, I appreciated the snippets of advice and additional information/resources about codependence.

This was a very interesting story to follow. Inside view into someones mind that keeps you wanting for more. Intimate portrayal of inner workings and struggles of ones mind. Many ups and downs that we experience in our life can be seen through the characters eyes. At times a bit hard to follow but over all a great story.

This author opened up some of the most vulnerable parts of their life by writing a book about their mental health struggles. The vulnerability was very appreciated, and the story flowed well. Although the book did not have a HEA in the sense of "Yay, I'm cured," the book did end with a feeling of hope. The ending was more about the progress they've made with their mental health and where they hope to continue making progress in the future. That helps the reader root for the author and hope that the author continues making progress.

A collection to understand how and perhaps how the author became codependent as an adult. This quote stuck out to me "the idea that my role as a female was to dutifully serve my partner and thus transform my entire reason for living into a saccharine fairy tale?".
Codependent partners often have trouble discerning the difference between sex and love. As pointed to use to attract and keep partners. But also the heartache and confusion when it doesn't forming an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and men in authoritive roles. Tough read but such a compelling journey.

Gave a very raw account of his childhood trauma and the lack of affection in one’s formative years leads us to make poor choices in partners later in life. Examines how one falls into the trappings of being the “perfect partner” in order to keep a partner that has no intention of being kept. I’m glad it doesn’t have a HEA and just shows how she is trying to love herself better and how it’s a fight each and everyday.

It's hard to assign a rating to the story of someone's life, and I always feel a little bad when someone's story falls flat for me. So to be very clear, I'm rating this based how I felt about the topics Ash addresses are handled.
What I liked: The way she talks about boundaries, about mental health, about how women and girls are told that their value lies in their sexiness and youth, and then are shamed for those things. This whole book is really open and honest about that, and I have been (emotionally speaking) many of the places she describes, and I don't see that a lot in media, so I appreciated her candid portrayal of codependence.
What didn't work for me: The end of the book left me feeling like she hadn't fully processed everything that she's writing about, almost as if she's writing from inside the experience. I understand the value of that as a creator, but it almost feels like she's trying to give life advice on something that she's still in the midst of. Memoirs that do this always leave me feeling a little iffy, so this might just be a personal thing. Obviously there's value in talking about the experience and acknowledging how it feels in the moment, but as a reader it feels like I'm sitting in on a therapy session that I can't contribute to. Maybe this is a philosophical question about the purpose of writing memoir, I don't know... but I walked away from this feeling a bit unsure about who this book is meant for. Yes, it portrays codependence well, but I'm not sure how far through the 'de' part this memoir takes us.
Thank you to NetGalley for giving me a chance to read this memoir-in-comics.

After reading Decodependence by Lila Ash, really opens your eyes to the different types of relationships out there. Having been married for the past 14 years, you sometimes don't think about how another person is affected by a relationship and sometimes forget what love was like before meeting the person you're married to. Reading Decodependence, it brought back memories from the before aspect for me and it made me realize I could relate in a way. I highly recommend this book for anybody who would like to read on codependence on somebody in a relationship and how to break the cycle of the codependence, by becoming de-codependent upon somebody to make a relationship work.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the free copy of Decodependence by Lila Ash in exchange for an honest review.

Interesting graphic novel memoir. I don’t really care for rating or reviewing memoirs because it feels icky to rate someone’s life. But I did enjoy reading it and the art was nice!