This was a good read for anyone who is looking for a book to help repair and/or strengthen their relationships. Dr Tracy had really good insight to issues and how to work on them.

TY NetGalley for allowing me to ARC this book.

This was the most interesting nonfiction book I’ve read in a long time! I plan on reading it again in a couple years as there is so much great info here. It’s unusual in that the author borrows from not only her therapy clients but also her own marriage. Highly recommend to married people of all pages (and anyone who is in a long-term relationship).

I Didn’t Sign Up for This is part memoir, part self-help book written by a Canadian family therapist. “Dr. Tracy” created four struggling couples based on her real-life clients and common relationship difficulties that she sees in her practice. She also chronicles her own struggles as she juggles caring for a toddler while working full-time, and her desire to evenly share the household chores with her husband.

Each chapter shares an appointment with the couple and part of their backstory. Dr. Tracy explains to the reader what patterns each individual is following and then teaches us how to break that script. She tells the reader what she wants to say to the patient and then what she actually says, because she often has to be gentle and lead the client to a conclusion. She provides brief summaries of researchers’ work and references to their books, which is helpful if a reader is interested in a particular topic. The end of each chapter includes a short discussion guide and exercises.

Dr. Tracy was sometimes surprised when she discovered that an unhappy patient had a secret way of dealing with their resentment towards their partner, such as infidelity or a secret credit card. I wanted to tell the overwhelmed mothers to hire a cleaning service and get take-out for dinner. There are many good lessons in this easy-to-read book. I found I Didn’t Sign Up for This to be very informative and useful, although I recommend reading it on a tablet or getting a paper copy.

I received an advance review copy (ARC) from NetGalley and PESI Publishing for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

This is my unbiased review in exchange for a free ARC copy of this book. I’ve always been fascinated with therapeutic practices. I really love how the author dives into real stories of couples in therapy. I gained insight into my own relationship and have a few things that I’m excited to explore that I learned from this book. The author did a great job of sharing a look behind the curtain.

This is the first relationship book I have ever read (and I’ve read a lot!) that acknowledges the realities and stresses of day-to-day living AND the legacy of our parents in a way that honors and accepts rather than blaming. She understands the challenge of getting individual needs met while being in a relationship which can sometimes feel like being Sisyphus. I found myself relating, laughing and for the first time understanding why we have the same old fight and why certain seemingly innocuous things cause a full blown fight. She is not only a therapist she is right there with us, sharing of her own marriage and how challenging it can be for ANYONE therapist or not.

I found this book available on NetGalley and decided to give it a try. It’s simple, accessible, and insightful. Dr. Dalgleish does a mix of patient stories, personal stories, and general therapeutic advice. Each chapter ends with questions and exercises to strengthen your relationship.

I enjoyed following the narrative of all of the various patients Dr. Dalgleish worked with. It helped illustrate the concepts she was talking about. I also liked where she chose to end our journey with each of them. Things were better but not perfect.

I appreciated the honesty of her admitting therapists are just people. They may have tools but that doesn’t make them better at using them than anyone else. Dalgleish showing her

It’s very readable, accessible prose. It’s not the deepest dive but is an excellent place to start. Dalgleish cites her sources so you get examples of other places to look. I do think a ‘recommended reading’ section might have been beneficial. I’m not sure if that will be in the finished copy but it wasn’t in mine.

Each chapter has exercises or lessons at the end. I think it would have been helpful to include that in the chapter titles as well as whose story we’re following (Lydia and Sam: Reparenting). It would make it easier to quickly look up key areas you want to revisit.

I’m hoping the finished book also has clearer delineation between the acknowledgments, glossary of terms, etc. The way it bled together was a bit confusing. I am glad that material is there for easy reference.

I like to switch back and forth between my ereader and app on my phone. My app is always set to dark mode. Due to a formatting issue, the text was rendered dark and impossible to read in dark mode.

I received a free e-arc of this book through Netgalley. My degree is in Community Counseling so I'm drawn towards books on therapy even if I no longer work in the field. This book is full of examples of couples in tough relationships as well as the therapist's own relationship issues. I recommend this to anyone who has been married, in a long-term relationship or is thinking about it. People sometimes think planning a wedding is stressful, but the success of your relationship requires dealing with your own unmet needs from childhood.

This is an eye opening look into what happens behind closed doors in marital therapy. Attachment Theory was underutilized in my graduate program, so I found her use of it enlightened. Some of the featured couples’ stories felt disjointed at times, but did come back together. I appreciated her transparency in she sharing her personal story and how it paralleled her client’s’ relationships.

Thanks to NetGalley and PESI Publishing for an ARC of this book.

Enjoyed reading this book for the stories of couples and the analysis of their issues. Some technical jargon which impeded the flow at times but very relatable.

Wow!!! I REALLY LOVE THIS BOOK! The author, Tracy, is so good at helping to discover the inner problems of a relationship and realizing EXACTLY what the REAL issues are! I SO relate to all of the stories that she portrays and wish I had this book many years ago. I’m on my 4th marriage and can see why I had difficulties in each of my relationships.
I am impressed by the fact that she uses her own relationship to demonstrate certain aspects of the psychological side of our relationships. I have the same problem as Greg does and it’s interesting that even though male and females have different agendas, we are all humans with similar characteristics. She gets “real” with us about her reactions to her husband that I found VERY refreshing!

I want to thank you for allowing me to read this book in advance. I feel VERY blessed to have this opportunity to work on the AWARE sections of your book. This is the first book that has ever helped me understand what I’m doing to MY relationships and the questions are bringing to light how I’M part of the problem, and the solution.

Ashley’s mom was just like mine and I could SO relate with her struggles. My father was there only physically but never emotionally, just like hers and my parents were divorced when I was 5 also.

Tracy indicates different doctors that influence the verbiage she introduces and examples of how it fits in with our lives. This book will benefit those with or without spouses. Anyone with a person with a relational relationship, this book is definitely designed to help.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Humans are so complicated. I admire those who spend their career helping people dig deep and make positive changes.
Therapists aren't immune to any of the issues the rest of us may face.
Tracey does a nice job of showing several couples, including her own with her husband, that have common issues in their personal lives and relationships, dig deep and help get on a better path for a happier life. I found some parts of this useful and thought provoking..

I was very excited to get an advanced copy of “I didn’t sing up for this” and thought it would be cool to get to be a fly on the wall -voyeurism if you will. The author also shares her own story, both personal family of origin and marriage.

And then I stared to feel intrusive, like now I know this person or this couples private struggles. But I can honestly say I learned and reflected on myself and people I am close to. The structure was good, Aware, Acknowledge, and Align with rotating chapters between four client/couples and herself. If you are interested in self awareness I would recommend this book.

I Didn't Sign Up for This : A Couples Therapist Shares Real-Life Stories of Breaking Patterns and Finding Joy in Relationships … Including Her Own. This is a very interesting book based on the author's own client case studies. It is her perspective and the advice she gives, and also how similar issues creep into her own marriage. It is brutally honest, and very relatable. The writing is very good and keeps you hooked on each case study. Very interesting, and would definitely be useful to any couple considering therapy, or just anyone looking for more insight or enrichment in their own relationship.

Dr Dalgleish is a clinical psychologist from Canada with over 15 years therapeutic experience, largely working with couples and with relationship counselling. Dr Dalgleish shares 5 different couples stories. 3 who are couples she sees both of, one person she sees on their own, and Dr Dalgleish shares her own martial and relationship difficulties and how she had to navigate this. Insightful and full of strategies that you can try at home, this book is insightful and helpful for the right people in the right contexts.

As a psychotherapist, I admit that I suffered as the author did in following the unraveling of her patients' stories, but even more I appreciated her telling along with them in the difficulties she herself encountered in her own relationship. I don't think I would have been as brave. Apart from that the stories can help people with the same difficulties and even more the psychological insights at the end of each chapter, so clear and well explained, can offer an additional point of view to the "layman."

Come psicoterapeuta ammetto di aver sofferto come l'autrice nel seguire il dipanarsi delle storie dei suoi pazienti, ma ancora di piú ho apprezzato il suo raccontarsi assieme a loro nelle difficoltà che lei stessa incontrava nella sua relazione di coppia. Io non credo sarei stata altrettanto coraggiosa. A parte questo le storie possono aiutare persone con le stesse difficoltà e ancor di piú gli insight psicologici alla fine di ogni capitolo, cosí chiari e ben spiegati, possono offrire un ulteriore punto di vista ai "profani".

I received from the Publisher a complimentary digital advanced review copy of the book in exchange for a honest review.

I'm a huge fan of books that delve into others' therapy experiences, as they offer unique insights that often remain hidden in everyday conversations. In a world where external pressures like work demands, financial stress, and global uncertainties seem to dominate, the value of strong and nurturing relationships cannot be overstated. In her book, Dalgleish beautifully highlights this importance through her unique perspective as both a therapist and a new mother. It takes a lot of vulnerability to discuss such matters, and that's what makes these books so special. Moreover, when therapists share their personal growth journeys through therapy, it adds an extra layer of depth and authenticity.

This book, in particular, excelled in providing diverse perspectives and situations, making it an enriching read for everyone. Even though I don't have children, I found the insights into how coparenting can impact a marriage or partnership quite fascinating. Through her personal experiences and insights, Dalgleish offers readers a heartfelt and relatable exploration of the intricacies of relationships and the power of understanding and communication. Her story serves as a poignant reminder of the need to nurture and strengthen our bonds with our loved ones amidst the myriad of challenges life throws our way. #IDidntSignUpForThis #NetGalley

3 1/2 - 4⭐️

This book was kind of difficult for me to read as a reader, and it probably wasn’t the book just me. But I found the stuff I did understand very helpful to getting to know myself better in my relationship. I feel this book will be really helpful once I can go back and read it and actually understand it fully 😊

I received a free ARC of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This book contains some valuable advice and insight into recognizing the emotional state and needs of your partner. Doctor Tracy seems especially interested in how our attachment styles and childhood experiences shape our romantic relationships.

The structure alternates between the stories of different couples that she has counseled (I'm not sure if these were entirely made-up characters, or true-to-the-word stories with names changed; the dialogue, at least, sometimes feels too convenient/edited to be exactly what real people would've said--but I do think having them respond "correctly" helps model what couples are supposed to learn from the book).

I didn't love the structure, mostly because I had trouble keeping up with which couple was which as I moved through the book. Who was it that admitted a secret affair? Which one was the dad who didn't help with the baby? I personally would've preferred that each couple's story be told beginning-to-end in one chapter. However, I appreciate what she was trying to do differently here, showing the struggling relationships at the start and the positive resolutions at the end. Had I been reading a paperback copy, rather than on my phone, it might've been easier to flip back to earlier chapters and remind myself of each couple's deal before delving into their next section. Taking notes would help, as well, but I'm not always in the right environment for note-taking when I'm reading.

Dr. Tracy includes a lot of her own thoughts and relationship struggles throughout the book, even in the chapters that are not specifically about her. It almost reads like a memoir, at times. While I do think this serves the purpose of making her look human and relatable to those with imperfect relationships, I also found myself getting frustrated with her. She would have arguments with her husband that, from my perspective, were mostly her fault (which she does acknowledge by the end). This was distracting to me, as she was communicating in ways that I already knew were harmful to her relationship, and it made me trust her insight less. That said, if I was someone who had the same struggles as her, maybe it would be helpful to relate to her. I just didn't relate.

She's very good about figuring out why her clients act or feel a certain way, but I found the book to be a little bit lacking in practical advice. I think this is due to the structure, as well, though. The last few chapters were where we get all of the solutions/happy couples, and by that point I was desperate for anything I could actually use. The end-of-chapter gray boxes came the closest to ongoing practical advice, but even these seemed to be more about understanding the source of your emotions than actually changing your reactions to your triggers. The understanding is an important step, but I guess I'm just past that--I need the step that tells me "here's what you tell yourself, or here's how to journal, etc. to keep you from spiraling into negativity about your relationship." Some readers might catch more of that advice than I did, though.

I loved this book! I highly recommend to anyone in a relationship honestly not even just marriage. I love the workbook feeling you get with each chapter and the stories and how she is able to teach you how to better handle the scenario then the take away you feel after just feels like I saved money on couples therapy. Absolutely loved it ❤️ do yourself a favor and get your self a copy.

Tracy Dalgleish's "I Didn't Sign Up for This" offers readers a compelling exploration of the complexities that arise within intimate relationships, particularly when faced with unforeseen challenges. Drawing from her extensive experience as a couples therapist, Dalgleish combines elements of memoir and self-help to shed light on the struggles couples encounter and the importance of healthy relationships, especially during times of societal stressors.

In an era marked by various external pressures, such as work demands, financial strain, and global uncertainties, the need for strong and nurturing relationships becomes increasingly vital. Dalgleish underscores this significance by sharing her personal journey as a therapist and a new mother. As she balances the joys of motherhood with the burden of increased domestic responsibilities, she finds herself echoing the very words spoken by her clients: "I didn't sign up for this." This pivotal realization becomes the catalyst for deeper self-reflection and a search for solutions to bridge the gaps within her own marriage.

Through the lens of her own experiences and intimate therapy sessions, Dalgleish delves into the fundamental issues that fuel conflicts in relationships. She fearlessly examines breakdowns in communication, lack of intimacy, and external stressors that strain the fabric of partnerships. By weaving together relatable stories of real-life couples, she provides readers with a rich tapestry of scenarios that allow for reflection and self-discovery.

"I Didn't Sign Up for This" goes beyond simply highlighting the challenges couples face; it offers practical tools and insights to help individuals establish and maintain healthier connections with their partners. Dalgleish's empathetic and non-judgmental approach allows readers to feel seen and understood, creating a safe space for introspection and growth. By addressing the universal struggle of showing up authentically in our relationships, Dalgleish invites readers to explore their own vulnerabilities and work towards fostering stronger emotional bonds.

In a time when societal stressors can take a toll on relationships, Dalgleish's book serves as a timely reminder of the importance of nurturing healthy connections. By providing relatable stories and actionable tools, she equips readers with the means to navigate the challenges of modern relationships. Whether readers are embarking on new relationships, juggling the complexities of a blended family, or navigating the demands of parenthood, "I Didn't Sign Up for This" offers valuable insights that will help individuals feel more connected and fulfilled in their intimate relationships.

In conclusion, Tracy Dalgleish's "I Didn't Sign Up for This" offers a compassionate and insightful exploration of the complexities inherent in intimate relationships. By sharing personal experiences and real-life therapy sessions, Dalgleish encourages readers to reflect on their own relationships and provides practical tools for fostering healthier connections. In a time when societal stressors can strain relationships, this book serves as a valuable resource for individuals seeking to navigate the challenges and cultivate fulfilling partnerships.