Bless Your Heart by Lindy Ryan 🧠🧠.5/5
Pub Date: April 9, 2024

This was an interesting read; however, it was a bit slow. I found once I hit the 60% mark, I was able to settle into the rhythm of the story.

What I liked:
- it has vampires
- the women are KICK ASS and run a funeral parlour
- a family bond that withstands everything (and I mean EVERYTHING)

What I didn’t like:
- WAY too many POVs, which made it hard to stay engaged, especially in the beginning

I would say this is more a mystery than a horror book. Cute once you get into it, although a bit campy.

Thank you to @minotaur_books , @netgalley and the author for a free digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

The Evans women--Duecy, Lenore, and Grace--have spent their lives ensuring the recently departed are given a proper burial. They've been running the only funeral parlor in their small Texas town for decades and have gotten by without any incident since the Godawful Mess left two bodies in the ground and Grace raising her infant daughter alone. But when the body of the town gossip is brought in for burial and instead rises from the dead, it's clear that the Evans women's pasts have come back to haunt them. As more bodies start piling up and the local deputy begins asking more questions, the Evans women realize that the Strigoi--the original vampires--have returned, and it's up to them to protect their town.

Based on the title and cover, I thought it would be some campy horror à la Grady Hendrix, but it felt serious. I liked the premise of this family of women, who each have distinct personalities, protecting their town from evil, but if I had to read about one more butterscotch candy, I was going to offer myself up to the Strigoi. The pacing was too slow, and instead of building tension, it left me bored. I needed more action because it started to feel like, "Here's a body we found," and "Oh look, here's another body we found." That comes down to the writing, which I thought was vague, repetitive, and lackluster. Maybe I went into this with my expectations too high, but the description promised Southern charm with a bite, and it was more like teething.

Honestly, it was alright. Took me a long time to finish. The last 50 pages were really good but still undecided if the journey was worth it. Also the summary and the cover is very misleading.. thought I was gonna read about cool vampires but it’s actually zombies. I’d rate it 2.5 stars. Right in the middle!

TW: Blood, violence, cancer, Columbian mention, bullying, family drama, f*g slur, homophobia, smoking, language, blood, gore, toxic relationships

*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:
It’s 1999 in Southeast Texas and the Evans women, owners of the only funeral parlor in town, are keeping steady with…normal business. The dead die, you bury them. End of story. That’s how Ducey Evans has done it for the last eighty years, and her progeny―Lenore the experimenter and Grace, Lenore’s soft-hearted daughter, have run Evans Funeral Parlor for the last fifteen years without drama. Ever since That Godawful Mess that left two bodies in the ground and Grace raising her infant daughter Luna, alone.

But when town gossip Mina Jean Murphy’s body is brought in for a regular burial and she rises from the dead instead, it’s clear that the Strigoi―the original vampire―are back. And the Evans women are the ones who need to fight back to protect their town.

As more folks in town turn up dead and Deputy Roger Taylor begins asking way too many questions, Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and now Luna, must take up their blades and figure out who is behind the Strigoi’s return. As the saying goes, what rises up, must go back down. But as unspoken secrets and revelations spill from the past into the present, the Evans family must face that sometimes, the dead aren’t the only things you want to keep buried.
Release Date: April 9th, 2024
Genre: Mystery
Pages: 298
Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

What I Liked:
1. Cover is adorable
2. Mentions of amazing bands
3. Writing style was fun

What I Didn't Like:
1. Quigg's constant ticking of his mouth drove me crazy on the audiobook
2. Rambling a lot
3. Crane calling Luna Moon Girl
4. All the butterscotch mentions

Overall Thoughts:
{{Disclaimer I write my review as I read}}

Why wouldn't they have stabbed the heart when they put Boone in metal cooler? That would have some time since they knew he was going to come back anyways.

Oh if I could count how many times I rode around listening to Type O Negative in 1999.

Ohhhhh Luna is half ghoul and half human

Usually I write a huge review but I don't know what happened here. I guess it felt like nothing was really going on where I had much to think on.

Final Thoughts:
My attention for this book started failing as I got to the halfway point. I wanted stuff to happen, but it was all just stale at that point.

At the end it felt repetitive and predictable, but it was just meh. Meh isn't bad. It was entertaining and I didn't hate it. I just don't know if I will remember much past reading this book and years later.

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Thanks to Netgalley, Minotaur Books, and Macmillan Audio for this advanced copy of the book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I made it to 67% before I finally gave up. I was going to quit reading this book earlier, but there are so many happy readers that I thought I must be missing something and kept plowing on. I don't believe I was missing anything except the time I gave to keep on reading.

I do admire all the readers who found this a worthwhile book. Apparently, it is not my cup of tea for several reasons:

1) I'm just not that into extremely descriptive blood and guts scenes.

2) I don't like books that are filled with repetition and not action.

3) Reading about these Even's women running around doing nothing annoyed me.

4) Hearing about "the god awful mess" of 15 years ago, without an explanation, grated on my nerves.

5) The habit of some of the older women, such as sucking on candy constantly, made me want to smack something or somebody.

All in all, I can recommend this book to those who don't mind reading about gore and willy-nilly high drama.

*ARC supplied by the publisher Minotaur Books, the author, and NetGalley.

Set in 1999, the story follows the Evan’s women as they battle strygori in their small Texas town.
I absolutely fell in love with Ducey, the plucky, butterscotch chomping great grandma. I felt like if Buffy the Vampire Slayer lived to be 80 she would be fun like Ducey.
Each chapter Is narrated by different characters in the story. I felt that helped me to fully visualize the town
For someone who didn’t love Grady Hendrix’s The Southern Book Club Guide to Slaying Vampires (I know, I know that’s blasphemy), I was pleasantly suprised and delighted by this book.

A solid 4.5/5 stars for me (rounded up for goodreads). I received an advanced review copy of this book.

Well…I read it and I’m not sure how I feel about it. To be fair, you should know I’m not all that into vampires, but I gave this book a try anyway because I liked the idea of a family of Southern women kicking butt together. It starts out scary, but ends up just being your run of the mill gore-fest. At a certain point I was bored with all the blood. I did enjoy the matriarchal element, but something was missing for me. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either. I doubt I will continue to read the series.

This was a rather enjoyable read, just that it's nothing special. Come read this book for some cute family dynamics, light horror, and a rather predictable mystery that's fun.

In a small town in Texas, four generations of Evans women have been taking care of the dead at their funeral parlor- and that also includes the kind of dead that get back up. Ever since the "Godawful Mess", an event 15 years ago that left the family more torn than ever, they've made sure to keep the peace. But now, the dead are rising up again, and potentially an even bigger threat than the one from 15 years ago will rise up...

My only true criticism for this book was that the ending sent me into some whiplash. A weird comment for a book, filled with detailed descriptions of dead bodies, and me only getting whiplash from the ending, which was pretty tame actually, but hey, it threw me for a loop. Other than that, this book didn't take itself too seriously, I had a pretty enjoyable time, and it was just very "meh (said with excitement)".

- thank you to the publisher for the e-arc / this did not influence my thoughts / all thoughts and sayings are my own. -

3.5 / 5. rounded down

Thank you, netgalley and the publisher, for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
The Evans women have run a funeral parlor in a small town for generations, so they know their way around a dead body. When the dead start to rise, they are completely unphased. Been there, done that. But this time, the youngest Evans woman, Luna, could be involved in the raising of the dead.
I really liked this book! There were so many funny moments interspersed between the horror that it felt more approachable than other horror novels I've read. There were some parts that I wish were addressed more thoroughly, but hopefully, that will happen in the sequel.
Check out Bless Your Heart when it comes out April 9, 2024.

Bless Your Heart by Linda Ryan is a intersting book that didn't really do it for me.
I love stories about vampires but this one was SO over the top (I know vampires) but it just didn't make sense.

The characters were so unbelievable and the story just didn't have a good flow.

loved the original premise of this book however it seemed to drag between character perspectives for me. Knowing this is a series I wish we got some more background of the history of the "ghouls" and what brought them to this town. Loved the main characters however and definitely didn't see the twists coming which was a nice surprise.

This was such an interesting mystery/horror! This book follows The Evans family who have been fighting the undead for decades. Bless Your Heart is told through multiple POV which helped the story feel fast paced. I’ve never read a book quite like this one and unfortunately I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. This book had a lot of good moments that kept my attention, but I didn’t particularly love any of the characters. If you are looking for a lighter horror read, you may want to give this one a try.

Thank you to Minotaur Books for advanced copies of Bless Your Heart by Lindy Ryan publishing April 9th.

This genre-bending release has humor, heart, suspense, and horror! Perfect for fans of Grady Hendrix's "A Southerner's Guide to Slaying Vampires," Ryan's new release follows 4 generations of Evans' women who run a small-town funeral parlor and guard the living from those who raise from the dead!

It's 1999, and while the Evans' women are preparing Mina Jean Murphey's body for burial, she stirs and sits up in her coffin. It's clear that the Strigoi - original vampire - are back, and the Evans women must protect their town before more bodies start piling up or before the local Sheriff's office start asking way too many. Unfortunately, viciously attacked bodies keep getting called in, and the Evans' matriarch realizes that the secrets she and her daughters thought they had buried 15 years ago, might be back to haunt them and put their youngest, Luna's life in danger. Forced to tell Luna about her family's true heritage (while violently driving a stake into the heart of a recently raised dead body in their morgue), Luna must learn and train (quickly!) before the walking dead overtake the whole town.

Y'all. I'm a born and raised Southerner, and there is just something so fun about an 80 year old grandmother who sucks butterscotch candy being the matriarch of a vampire hunter family. Ducey Evans is sharp-tongued, strong-willed, and hilariously blunt. Her daughter, Leonor, is more curious about the undead, and has been secretly stashing their ashes to study them, while Grace is soft-hearted unless it comes to protecting her teen daughter, Luna. Together, the women must solve who is still out in the community feeding on locals and getting stronger every day. The story is told through a variety of POVs, from the Evans women, the sheriff, detectives on the force, and other local victims. The plot was propulsive, and make no mistake, there is nothing 'sweet' about the horror. The Strigoi make an absolute MESS out of their victims, but the Evans women do their best to conceal the truth about the horror lurking in the shadows. While the ending leaves the current mystery resolved, it seems to foreshadow that this story will be continuing into a possible series, which is really exciting!

Readers will adore:
90's Cultural References
Strong Women
Sharp banter and LOL moments
Twist and Turns
Multiple POVs
Family secrets and hidden identities
Start of a new series!

Thank you for the opportunity to read and review this book. I had both the elecrtonic galley and the audiobook for review and combined them into a single review. It will post to my blog on April 2. I'll also highlight the book and review on Instagram that day and post the review to Goodreads, The Storygraph and retail sites as well.

Review:
I love a fun horror comedy novel, especially when it's full of Southern charm and witty sayings. In this funny and creepy novel, readers are taken on a wild ride through Southeast Texas. If you're a fan of undead creatures, family drama, and a healthy dose of Southern charm, then this book is sure to be right up your alley. I received a digital ARC as well as an advance copy of the audiobook, so I was able to read and listen at the same time, which was extra fun! I might need to start doing this for more books in the future. It really enhanced my experience.

Set in 1999, "Bless Your Heart" introduces us to the fierce and fabulous Evans women who run the only funeral parlor in town. Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and teenaged Luna find themselves at the center of a supernatural storm when the Strigoi—an ancient sort of vampire—resurfaces in their seemingly quiet town. When the first body comes to the morgue - and then reanimates - all sorts of havoc ensues. The Evans women are prepared, though, and as people around town begin to drop like flies - and then come back as something not quite human - all eyes begin to turn toward the Evans women and their funeral home - what is planted underneath that rose bush that Grace fawns over anyway? Over the course of a few days, family secrets come to light, fingers are pointed, secrets are revealed, and when all is said and done, the Evans family will never be the same.

It's not every day that you come across a book that seamlessly blends horror, humor, and heartwarming moments, but "Bless Your Heart" manages to do just that. Ryan's writing is sharp, witty, and brimming with creative flair. The dialogue crackles with energy, and the characters leap off the page with their unique quirks and personalities. From the no-nonsense Ducey to her spunky daughter Lenore, her lovable daughter Grace, and Grace's teen daughter Luna, each member of the Evans family brings something special to the table. This is also where I need to give a major shoutout to the audiobook narrator. She effortlessly portrays each of these women (and several other characters) with a unique voice and speech cadence. I was in awe the entire time I was listening. A lot of times, audiobook narrators can do maybe 2 or 3 voices, but in this case, every character has a distinct voice, which really elevates the experience.

Another aspect of this book that I really enjoyed was its strong emphasis on female relationships and empowerment. The bond between Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and Luna is at the heart of the story, and it's a joy to see these women support and protect each other in the face of danger. The sense of family loyalty is palpable, and I really felt like I knew these characters. Ryan also delves into deeper themes of family, love, and the secrets we keep buried, skillfully weaving together past and present, revealing shocking revelations and hidden truths.

But don't let the heartwarming moments fool you—the book is also full of spine-tingling suspense, eerie thrills, and some gore, reminding us that this is very much a horror novel with a side of comedy and heart. The small-town setting adds a layer of Southern charm to the story, making it feel like you're right there in the midst of all the action. And, naturally, it's the addition of the Strigoi that provides the story with its central conflict. I loved this fresh take on zombie-like vampires that can become stronger and more human-like - it added a fresh take on a familiar trope.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. The delightful blend of horror, humor, and heart left me wanting to join the Evans women on their next adventure. With its unforgettable characters, twisty plot, and Southern flair, this book is a must-read for anyone craving a fresh take on the supernatural genre - especially if you're a fan of horror-comedy. Goodreads lists this book as "A Bless Your Heart Novel," which implies that this might be the start of a series. If that's the case, I'm super excited! Bless your heart, indeed.

The story reminded me of Salem’s Lot. People drop like flies and pretty gruesomely. You would think that from the cover, but it’s not a cozy mystery. I enjoyed it and thought the writing was great but maybe not my cup of tea. I really had to work to finish it, even though I’m glad I stuck with it.

A delightfully ghoulish family centered horror story with a touch of humor. Follow the Evans women as they struggle to take down a nightmarish flesh-eating and blood-sucking monster that’s wreaking havoc on their small southern town.

In 1999, in rural Southeast Texas, the dead are getting restless and the Evan’s women, Ducey, Lenore, Grace and Luna, are having none of it. As townspeople go missing and bodies start to pile up, the Evanses begin to prepare for battle. But the elder Evans women have some secrets of their own and they will have to lay all of their cards on the table before they can clean up this mess. With lots of luck, a bit of humor, a side of sentimentality, and large quantities of blood and butterscotch candies, these ladies will try to tackle their horrifying nemesis and take back their town.

This book was so much fun. It won’t be for everyone and it may especially be triggering for some due to recollections of the Columbine school shooting, but I had a truly fantastic time reading this book. It was dark and a touch gory at times, but in a campy 1980s horror movie sort of way that allows it to be humorous and horrifying all at once. Ryan wrote some remarkably complex characters and I loved that I was able to identify and empathize well with them outside of the horrific subject matter. I really enjoyed that it was set in 1999 and felt that the general ambiance of that time period was nicely woven into the work. I would happily recommend this work for any fans of witty, well written horror who may also be looking for a new series.

Thanks @netgalley @lindyryanwrites and @minotaur_books for the digital ARC I’m exchange for my honest opinion.

I received a gifted copy of BLESS YOUR HEART by Lindy Ryan, thank you to St. Martin's Press and Macmillan Audio.

BLESS YOUR HEART is set in Texas in 1999. The Evans women own and operate the funeral parlor for their town. They do the usual preparations for burial, but sometimes there's more to the story. When a body is brought in showing signs of coming back from the dead, the eldest of the Evans women know that the Strigoi (vampires) are back again and they must train the new generation in their true calling.

More people around town start disappearing, dying, and coming back. Complicating matters more, Deputy Taylor is asking a lot of questions that threaten to bring out the family's secrets. Something unusual is going on and Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and Luna Evans must get to the bottom of it to protect the town.

I didn't know a lot about this book going in, but I took a chance on picking it up during a readathon and wound up easily able to binge read the full book without any regrets. It is a horror book and there is gore to be had, but there's some humor and small town charm somehow mixed in as well. The family has a lot of secrets that not all of the members know, and certainly that the town doesn't know, so there is much to discover as the book goes back and forth between POVs.

I really find the different way authors handle vampire lore to be interesting and I enjoyed the new takes this author brought about. There are elements that felt familiar, but also some things that brought new life to the undead.

A fun read, but didn't live up the expectations I had going in. I've seen others say the same but with a combo of southern living & vampires you can't help but think of Grady hendrix and compare. The pacing was a bit to slow for me and I found myself bored, at 60% I didn't realize it was almost over bc it felt like it was still just getting started. I can see the appeal, but for me personally I didn't feel the charm in this book.

What a fun family of women. The dead should stay dead except when they don’t. Luckily the Evan’s women know exactly what to do when the dead come a knocking. I love the individual characterization of each of the Evan’s women. Each one jumps off the page with their own personality. The book overall is fast paced and easy to get through. I am not sure if it is really gasp worthy, however it is a fun book with great characterization, an easy plot to get behind, and an outcome that may allow for more in the future. This book is really not all that gory, at least I didn't find it that way. Thank you to St. Martin’s Press, Minotaur Books, and Netgalley for allowing me to read an advance copy of this title.

A huge thank you to St. Martin's Press for granting me access to this extremely unique read by Lindy Ryan. Bless Your Heart is quirky, it's serious, and it's at its core a book about family. I really enjoyed reading this novel.. The women in this book are all so different from one another but their unconditional love is evident in everything they do for one another.

Luna's family is different. They own the funeral parlor in town. Her whole life, Luna has been surrounded by death as the women in her family work to lay folks to rest. However, recently, there have been more deaths than usual and by no means are they typical nor natural. The Evans women know something is up and their worst fears are actualized as they realize it's worse than they ever could have imagined. Now they are forced to confront what's happening while trying to keep their own secrets buried.

If I may, I also would recommend this title as an audiobook. I had the opportunity to listen and read. I must say, the audio at times made me laugh out loud because of how quirky some of the characters were. Be prepared to crave a butterscotch after reading this one. I anticipated this being a light read based on the cover art, but there is a lot going on within this book.