2 Stars
One Liner: Ugh… nope! (Rant coming up)

1999, Southeast Texas
The Evans women own the funeral parlor in town and have been running it for many generations. Ducey Evans spent all her eighty years in the same parlor and keeps it going with her daughter Lenore and granddaughter Grace. Grace has a teenage daughter Luna who will one day join the business.
After the Godawful Mess fifteen years ago, the Evans women are thankful there’s no other drama in the town. However, things change when a body rises from the dead right in the parlor. Deputy Roger brings more news and a body mangled and half-eaten. As more strange events occur, the Evans women have to face the past and confront the Strigoi (dead-un-dead creepies) to take them down yet again. Will they be too late this time?
The story comes in the third-person POV of multiple characters (Lenore, Luna, Deputy Roger, etc.).

My Thoughts:
Alright! I’m curious to know if the cover designer got to read the book or what to work with a synopsis/ theme given to them. The cover does not match the book’s tone. It has lighthearted drama vibes. I expected something similar with a touch of seriousness. However, there is almost nothing humorous in the book. I like dark humor, but I didn’t find anything funny here.
The beginning is slow, which is okay since it establishes the storyline, characters, and their relationships. However, the middle is full of filler. We get the same stuff in slightly altered versions in different POVs. Does it help connect with the characters? Sadly, no. The characters still remain 2D and surface-level (even stereotypical).
The premise is terrific. But the execution is the opposite. Nothing really happens until the last 20% or so. Even then, it doesn’t pack a punch. Something happens, something else happens, some death, and blah blah…
When the book goes on and on about how the Evans women are the only ones to tackle the menace and should keep the town safe, they do nothing until the very end. It’s all about ‘I don’t want to reveal this secret, so what if people are dying?’ If the family had a proper conversation when they should, the book would have been 100 pages. That would have prevented the need for a sequel (why is this even a series?).
Multiple POVs are useful to provide insight into different characters. However, here, we get the same stuff we already know. In attempting to keep the Godawful Mess a secret for as long as possible, the POVs and character development were compromised. If I had read that term one more term, I’d have deleted the book from my reader. Argh!!
The book has quite a bit of gore. I wasn’t bothered, but it can affect some readers. I’m guessing it would be around 5+ on the scale of 10 (don’t take my word for it). Did I find it scary or creepy? Nope. It was a flat graph except for the spiking annoyance at the characters.
Though Luna was a stereotypical teen, she at least had a few expressions and emotions more than the adults. Of course, making bad decisions seems to be a family trait, so… *shrug*

To summarize, Bless Your Heart is mostly a hook to get readers interested in the series and contains more filler than an actual story. It did not work for me, so please check other reviews before you decide. Many loved it and found it humorous.
Thank you, NetGalley and St.Martin’s (Minotaur Books), for eARC. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book.
*******
The review will not be posted on Amazon due to the low rating

I adored this. It read very much like a southern paranormal mystery. The characters were quirky. It kind of reminded me of the aunts in Sabrina the Teenage Witch - one of my favorite shows. There was a ton of humor, both dark humor and sarcastic, and the dialogue between the characters was super fun.

It is a pretty low stress read - almost cozy. There were a few times that I wasn't as engaged but that tends to happen in the middle of most cozy mysteries for me. The writing was really easy to digest and I look forward to reading more by this author.

The concept was so great. I could picture the scenes in the funeral parlor like they were a movie. The family "curse" idea, while not novel, was interesting and unique. I think there is room for more books in the universe if the author chooses to go that route. Either way, this genre bending book was a ton of fun to read.

The dead are rising in a small town. The Evans women have generations secrets. They are tasked with stopping the dead.
I think these little undead boogers were more like zombies than vampires but it doesn't matter. They hangry.

The book spends most of the time trying to build up to the secrets coming out but to me it got tedious with waiting for explanations.

Booksource: Netgalley in exchange for review.

The Evans women have been keeping their town safe for decades, so when the restless dead start popping up almost constantly, the four generations have to work together to make sure their town doesn't get overrun. The last time this happened 15 years ago it cost two of them their husbands and fathers.

I think I expected this book to be an absolute romp, what with the zombie vampire things and the tongue in cheek Bless Your Heart title and the small town (because we all know how small towns love shenanigans), but it wasn't. It was a light read, definitely in the cozy mystery genre area, but it was missing a lot of the humor I was expecting.

BUT! My expectations aside, this was a really good book. It brings in aspects of muti-generational families, especially those (and we all know of or personally know that family where the men never seem to stick around wither through death, divorce, or disappearance) where it's a family of all strong women raising stronger women. I loved the funeral parlor setting, that it was family owned for decades (going back to at least Ducey's mother). That gives you such a sense of history, you know exactly what this funeral parlor looks like!

Really good book, I'm definitely looking forward to the next one. There has to be a next one, right?

The Evans women run the only funeral parlor in a tiny Texas town. Everyone knows they're weird and are hiding something, but you don't antagonize the only people who can lay you to rest so people just turn the other way. It just happens to be that one of their secrets is that they've been protecting their town from undead ghouls or strigoi for generations. Things have been quiet, but the repercussions of the one bloody night 15 years ago are starting to deliver restless bodies to the funeral parlor once again. It'll be one bloody, violent death after another until the Evans women can work together to end things, hopefully, once and for all.
It's too light to truly be horror and way too bloody to be anything else. It's also marketed as a story about family yet spends more page space going on about how some family secrets must never be shared than in actual family interaction.
I can maybe see it as the setup for further stories and forgive the fact that it ends with even more unanswered questions than it starts with, except the characters aren't particularly memorable and I don't feel the need to return to this world for those answers.
All my complaining aside, the writing is solid and there is a very clear thread throughout the book that pays off in the end after giving readers some very disturbing scenes. It's not really my genre, so I'm grading on a higher curve.

Happy thanks to NetGalley and Minotaur Books for the interesting read!

Thank you Minotaur Books for my #gifted copy of Bless Your Heart!

𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: 𝐁𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫: 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐲𝐚𝐧
𝐏𝐮𝐛 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞: 𝐀𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐥 𝟗, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

★★★★

The Evans women own the only funeral home in town and have a steady business. There has been no drama. When the dead die, they bury them. That’s it. But when the town gossip, Mina Jean Murphy’s body is brought in for a regular burial, she rises from the dead instead. It then becomes clear that the Strigoi, the original vampire, are back, and the Evans women are the ones who must fight to protect their town. As more and more people turn up dead, the Evans women must figure out who is behind the Stigoi’s return.

This was such a fun and unique read! The characters were the BEST! i loved how it was a mix between horror, paranormal, and kind of like a cozy mystery if that makes sense. It was such an interesting blend but it went together so well. I enjoyed how it was told in a multiple POV format. The Evans women were quirky and I am ALWAYS a fan of quirky characters so this one was definitely a hit for me! There was also some dark humor and southern charm mixed in as well! All in all, this was definitely a unique and interesting book that had me entertained the entire time I was reading!

Posted on Goodreads on April 10, 2024: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/144922955?ref=nav_profile_l
**Posted on Instagram - Full Review- on or around April 11, 2024: http://www.instagram.com/nobookmark_noproblem
**Posted on Amazon on April 10, 2024
**-will post on designated date

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a copy to review. This book was not for me but I know people that will enjoy it. I will be recommending the title. Personally, I did not like the characters and the non-reaction they had when faced with the consequences of their actions. Maybe that will be addressed with future books but I will not be continuing the series.

The Evans family boasts a legacy spanning four generations of women who not only manage a funeral parlor but also have a unique talent for dealing with the not-so-departed. This quirky yet charming tale delves into their unusual profession, blending elements of humor and light horror that make it a delightful, cozy read. It's the first installment of a duology, leaving readers intrigued and eager for the next installment to unravel the lingering mysteries. Drawing inspiration from series like Buffy and Sookie Stackhouse (aka True Blood), the novel strikes a balance between eerie and entertaining, making it suitable for those seeking a mild thrill or a whimsical adventure. The diverse personalities of the four main characters add depth and charm to the narrative, ensuring a captivating journey through their world.

A big thank you to Netgalley for the chance to delve into this captivating story and share my thoughts through this review.

This was a fun campy Vampire novel. Think Finlay Donovan, but with paranormal stuff.

I was entertained, but also got sick of the butterscotch candy being mentioned nonstop. I also didn't feel for any of the characters. I can see this book being the cool vampire book your Auntie reads for bookclub. In fact I'll be recommending this to my MIL who likes stuff that's not too serious, but wants the writing to be good.

This one sounded so good to me but felt like a bit of a miss. It’s quirky but I didn’t really connect with the characters. There were some plot holes/jumps that I think if answered could’ve made for a great book. I think this is the first in the series so maybe there is more to come? Overall if you like a quirky undead story with some 90s Southern flair you might like this one.

Thank you @macmillan.audio and @minotaur_books for the #gifted ALC/ARC of BLESS YOUR HEART!

If you’ve ever wanted to read a light hearted comedy/horror/mystery novel then look no further than BLESS YOUR HEART. BLESS YOUR HEART is set in a small town in Texas in 1999. Four generations of the Evans women have run the funeral parlor in their town for decades. What the townsfolk don’t know is that the Evans women make sure that the dead actually stay dead and don’t rise back up as Strigoi. When a local’s body is brought in for burial and she rises from the dead, the Evans women know that it’s time to start hunting and find the master Strigoi who is behind the dead rising.

This book was so much fun and the audio is a blast. The narrator’s Southern accent makes the chatty dialogue and Southern charm really shine through. I loved the throwback late 90s references (there’s a recurring joke about goth fashion taking over the town). As a child of the 90s this really added a nostalgia factor for me.

I loved that we got POVs from each of the Evans women. My favorite was the matriarch Ducey. She was no nonsense and knew her way around a blade. Plus she constantly had butterscotch candies which is such a grandma move that you can’t help but love her!

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/6378896585
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/C5i7OrEruDR/

It's 3.5⭐

I really liked the approach and that the story is told in different voices. It's been a long time since I read something about vampires and this was refreshing, the lore they used came out of the commercial/conventional of recent times.

I found it light and enjoyable, although there are moments of quite a bit of tension. The criticism of prejudice and discrimination was very well mixed with the theme and characters.

I will definitely be looking for more Lindy Ryan books.

Thank you @netgalley for providing me the ebook in exchange for my honest opinion.

mini synopsis: four generations of Evans women have kept the town safe with their funeral parlor. Why you may ask? Well sometimes the dead have unfinished business & that’s their specialty!

I saw a reviewer on goodreads say this is a mix of Elle Cosimano & Grady Hendrix which perfectly sums up this book! It’s a little wacky & silly like Finlay Donovan, with off the wall shenanigans (maybe the dead banging on a freezer) mixed with silly horror like Southern Book Club (actual vampires?!) I really enjoyed all the characters, the generations of evans women. I also enjoyed getting little pieces of other towns peoples POV. I think my favorite was Luna bc I felt like we were right there with her wondering what was going on! This is a marked as a series but I’m wondering what is going to happen next!

This book was too much for me while I am dealing with family health issues. My regrets and I apologize for not reading the synopsis more thoroughly when requested.

A dash of Sweet Magnolias, a splash of Salem’s Lot, and a sprinkle of The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires and you’ll get close to this hysterical, absurd, cozy horror novel, Bless Your Heart by Lindy Ryan. This book is a whole lot of fun and the audio narration is top notch!

Review | Bless Your Heart

I’ve been loving the number of books publishing that are set in the 90s. That time period just barely scrapes by as old enough to have a completely different vibe, but not so old that we are calling these historical fiction (yet). Those hazy days before cell phones and social media made us all perhaps a bit too connected to one another allow for stories like this to shine.

What’s Bless Your Heart about?

It’s 1999 in southeast Texas and the Evans family is busy as ever at their funeral parlor (the only one in town). Four generations of Evans women still work together on their family business—great-grandma Ducey, grandma Lenore, mama Grace, and teenager Luna. The Evans women have worked to put ‘That Godawful Mess’—a tragic incident fifteen years earlier—behind them. It claimed the lives of Grace and Lenore’s husbands in relatively short order, and it’s left an air of gossip surrounding the Evans women that they can’t escape.

Is it karma, then, when the biggest town gossip Mina Jean Murphy dies unexpectedly and ends up in their funeral parlor? (As an aside, how fitting is the name “Mina Jean” for a southern busybody?) Mina Jean never met a cigarette she could turn away, and the cancer finally took her. But not long after her body arrives at the Evan’s funeral parlor to be prepared for burial, it turns out that her body isn’t quite as dead as it seemed. Mina Jean is in the middle of having her funeral make up applied (Vamp lipstick is a nice touch), when her body rises right up from her coffin. Thankfully the Evans women are always prepared with a silver blade close at hand.

As the Evans women know better than anyone, Mina Jean’s undead rising is only the beginning of another flare that links to That Godawful Mess and it’s time for them to bring Luna into the fold. They have protected her as long as they can; the Evans women are the only ones who can stop the Strigoi—a supernatural creature they refer to as the “original vampire”—and prevent the plague from spreading to body after body. As the Evans women tackle the rising problem and try to discover who is behind the return of the Strigoi, they begin to realize that in a family and town with so many dark secrets, dead bodies aren’t the only thing you hope stays buried…

Why should you read it?

Don’t let the cute title and cover fool you into thinking this is a fluffy book—I would firmly consider this cozy horror. The book is humorous, but it has it’s share of (not overly graphic) gore. This is a book about the undead, after all. I personally didn’t find it too gory, but I think that depends on how much you can tolerate. I can handle up to a light-to-moderate amount and presented in a way that isn’t too dark—this book hit well within my range.

Lindy Ryan brings a wonderful wittiness to the dialogue in this book that is balanced perfectly with the southern drawl and charm. I listened to the audiobook which was narrated by Stephanie Németh-Parker and she brought that mix of biting wit and southern charm to life through this book. Ironically (given that this does have some gore), I think the audiobook might be the way to go over the physical book if you worry about it being too much. In the audiobook, those moments slid right by like a cold glass of lemonade, whereas reading the words can make you fixate on them longer and get stuck. Just my advice though!

Through alternating chapters, the reader gets the full spectrum of how people in this small town are finding out what is going on (with heavy emphasis on the Evans women). Luna, for instance, hasn’t been brought into the loop about the Strigoi or the general vampire slaying and undead burials that her family has done for generations. Luna’s mother Grace also is clearly carrying a heavier burden through the book—her chapters aren’t as sarcastic and light hearted as those narrated by grandma Lenore and great-grandma Ducey (who are, as the southerners say, a ‘hoot’). You’ll find out why Grace is responding that way as the events unfold and you learn the full truth about ‘That Godawful Mess’. That happens later in the story so just know going in that you’ll get the answers, but they come when it’s time for Luna to learn them as well.

Is there anything I’d change?

I saw another reviewer remark that Grace and Andy (Luna’s boyfriend) don’t have enough character development for their storylines to pay off at the end. I agree completely, and I think this is more true for Andy than it is for Grace, but it applies to both. There needs to be enough investment in their relationships with Luna for the emotional impact that their story arcs carry. Perhaps Ryan made the creative decision that she wanted to stick to dark humor as the tone for this book and worried about anything emotional weighing it down. I can’t say for sure because I read it the way it is. My only thought was that perhaps an epilogue might have helped with this, showing Luna and the other characters months or a year after the events of the book. We needed more of Ryan’s signature humor at the end—something we a bit of a wink and a sugar-coated verbal jab at the antagonists, delivered as sweetly as southern iced tea.

Final Thoughts

This book is absolutely a delight to read! It’s fun, dark, bizarre, and witty. Ryan’s writing adds the perfect comedic tone to the book, and Stephanie Németh-Parker’s narration on the audiobook brought it to life. If you’re a fan of Grady Hendrix, you’ll love this book.

Thank you to Minotaur Books and Macmillan Audio for my copy. Opinions are my own.

Thank you to St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for this amazing ARC!

Well…Bless Your Heart, has stolen my heart and then some. I’d say it’s horror light, murder-mystery, family drama and comedy filled. Reminded me of my fav Grady Hendrix.

I never wanted to be apart of a funeral home family until now! The Evan’s family have been the town funeral home, and have been putting the dead to rest in more ways than one!

Four generations- Ducey, Lenore, Grace and Luna ( who’s learning there’s a lot more to this business and her moms over protectiveness) have been passing down what they learn and stories to each Evan’s woman. It’s their calling.

I loved the new take on the “living dead/ vampire” scene! It felt new and fresh. I’m hoping there’s a second book. So good!!

5/5 ⭐️

The Evans women own the funeral parlor in town. But they sometimes have to kill the “undead”. It seems the whole town is now under attack. And all the Evans women may have to take up their blades just to make everything go back the way it was. In other words, what rises up must go back down!

Well! This was not exactly what I was expecting. Y’all know I do not read the blurb and I should not have chosen this book. Just not my genre…you would think I would have gathered that from the cover…but the title Bless Your Heart got me. I was expecting a more light-hearted, fun, southern read! I was bamboozled!

This tale is a bit gruesome and graphic. However, I did enjoy the characters and the hunt to save the town. So, if you like vampires and people who come back to life…THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU!

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The narrator, Stephanie Németh-Parker did ok. But, there were several places that required very raspy voices. Just didn’t sit well with me.

I received this novel from the publisher for a honest review.

Bless your heart is one blood thirsty story. We have sisters who own the only funeral parlor in town. They are kept busy because the town isn’t what it seems. Luna has a grandmother and aunts that run the parlor while she tries to run her life with school, a job and a boy crush. Something happened 15 years before that everyone would just rather forget. But the quiet little town doesn’t get to keep their secrets buried. When Mina Murphy, the town gossip comes into the parlor she decides she doesn’t want to stay dead. From there the story keeps you alive with all the shenanigans and going ons. . The story is so filling you do wish that Ms Ryan will bring more stories about the Evan sisters to life.

Bless Your Heart is the first in the brand new Bless Your Heart series by Lindy Ryan.
This was so much fun and bizarre and a total blast!
A humorous horror with a murder mystery underneath.
Lindy Ryan has such an incredibly unique and compelling writing style that I was sucked into this book so quickly and was honestly sad to see when it ended!
Inthoroughly enjoyed this book. It was a totally captivating read.
It was quite unusual and I couldn’t wait to find out what was going to happen.
I literally couldn't put it down.
And I can’t wait to see book two!

Thank You NetGalley and Minotaur Books for your generosity and gifting me a copy of this amazing eARC!

The Evans are a multigenerational family of women that run the funeral home in a small Texas town. Calling themselves Caretakers, they also have a side gig of turning the undead into the fully dead.
They’ve been good at keeping this under wraps until things start escalating again and Luna, the youngest Evans, might be at the heart of it.

These are not the sexy southern vampires of another series you might know. One of the women explains that the Strigoi are ghouls, mostly mindless dangerous rotting creatures.
This actually reads more like zombies than vampire to me? My opinion did end up changing as the story went on, but … telling would be spoilers!

A little slow paced, a few hefty doses of gore, pins and pagers for late 90’s nostalgia
I enjoyed the strong family of women and all their secrets refusing to stay buried
The book wasn’t fully what I expected, but still interesting

Thanks to NetGalley and SMP for the arc