This memoir is honest, and deals with very difficult and very personal subject matter. Jodi is not the "perfect" narrator in many instances, she grapples in these pages with the ways she has used "what an addict can/cannot do" as a way to understand her mother's substance use, with her grandmother's trust in the police, with her own growth as a daughter, granddaughter, and friend. This is an uncomfortable read at times, but also a glimpse into someone's reality, in all its messiness.

In these essays, Jodi explores her ever growing and ever evolving relationships with her Granny and her mother as they navigate the world as Black women. Savage writes about her abuse, her religious path, her breast cancer, her estranged relationship with her mother, Granny’s hallucinations, dementia and strong Pentecostal faith, and more. In between the rawness, heartbreak, and grief, Savage provides readers with a touch of relief and humor. The essays are spellbinding, deeply compelling, and teaches readers to love with a deep sense of empathy.

Savage includes many guides in these essays including “How to attend a Black funeral”, “How to dispose of a dead bird”, “The Black patient’s guide to avoid being treated like a slut in the street”, and “What not to give someone who has breast cancer”. While they were meant to be slightly humorous, they were also meant to open the readers mind. Specifically, “The Black Patient’s Guide..” made me pause and reflect on the medical system and the care that Black people receive.

I saved so many quotes from this book but because I received this book as a digital arc, they didn’t save to my GoodReads account, so I will share a few of my favorites here:
“If there were a picture of the holy trinity, Granny’s would be a color portrait of Jesus, President Barack Obama, and a police officer.”
“Granny’s insistence on feeding people during her porch sermons reminded me of the Biblical story in which Jesus and his disciples fed thousands of people with only five loaves of bread and two fish. I suppose a dose of Jesus is best served on a full stomach.”
“The scene reminded me of how she used to make me sit on the side of our green tub and scrub my knees and elbows with Ajax to get rid of the darkness. She stood watch in the doorway as I cried and scrubbed, but skin and blood were the only things that came off. The blackness remained.”

I could share many, many more that made me laugh and made me feel deeply but I will stop there. For more gems like this, you will have to pick up the book yourself when it’s out on 11/14/23.

Easily, one of the best collections of personal essays that I have ever read.


Thank you NetGalley for my digital copy!