When I read the introduction, and Amber shared that her father was Dave Arnold, the director of Adventures in Odyssey, my entire childhood flashed before my eyes. I'm well into young adulthood and the tumultuous world of my early 20s now, and I almost forgot how Focus on the Family and their self-declarative "family values" had such a chokehold on my world back then.

I was homeschooled under religious exemption to be sheltered from the secular world and the influence of Satan on the American public school system. Shit you not- these are words I heard verbatim as a kid and words I and many of my friends grew up believing. I still know people who believe these words and pray for me to return to myself and God by giving up secular notions like modern dating or building a career as a woman. After all, who needs a career when God will provide you with a husband and household to run if only you believe and pray hard enough?

Amber's story was very similar to my own. Late firsts delayed by crippling religious guilt and shame. Conviction that mental health issues stemmed from a lack of faith in God and not abnormal brain chemistry, let alone PTSD from being told that the world was going to boil and burn on a weekly basis. Amber tackles the toxicity of the brand of Christianity we were raised under and how hard it was to escape when we felt like saving ourselves was simultaneously condemning us to hell.

I wrote at the top of this review that I received this title in exchange for an honest review. It's a bit hard to be objective about something so moving and personal, especially considering how deeply I related to Amber and her journey. Regardless, if you see a little bit of yourself in this review, or in the synopsis of the book, I highly recommend grabbing a copy and a box of tissues. This book healed some wounds I didn't realize I still had.

Thank you, Amber, for being brave enough to share all of this and for creating a space for the rest of us to feel seen.

A raw, touching memoir about growing up in an evangelical household and her journey in coming out. I really enjoyed this. The whole section leading up to her coming out to her family really had me feeling anxious. I felt like I was in the room with her! I really enjoyed reading how the author navigated the conflicts within her and also externally. I'm glad the author was able to see her worth, and also find a supportive community. I would recommend this for anybody in the religious community who is also struggling with who they are.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for an eARC of this book.

Touching and relatable memoir about growing up in an evangelical family and the impact of coming out. This book is especially important because of the author's ties to Focus on the Family, which had (and still has) a tremendous influence on evangelical Christians. I really connected to her upbringing and the conflict she felt between her religion and sexuality. A must-read for people struggling with this same conflict.

Thank you, NetGalley, for the ARC.

I received an eARC from the publisher via NetGalley, all opinions are mine.

A deeply sincere and painfully honest memoir about growing up in conservative Christianity - and specifically involvement in Focus on the Family - and then the author's gradual realisation of her own sexuality.

So this is a very different book to what i usually read, and that's simply because this is quite similar to my own story. I was raised as a Pentecostal Christian, and for most of my childhood at least one of my parents was a pastor at our local church as well. I didn't start to untangle the damage, nor realise that I was gay, until my early adulthood. A few years on now I find a lot of comfort in reading about others like me: their struggles, their strengths. We are not alone, not any one of us.

This book was heartbreaking and encouraging all at once. I really admire the author's unflinching honesty in exactly what went down and how, both externally in her community and internally. There's some great commentary on the actual history of FotF that you won't hear so often, and the importance of looking at issues like this from a place of intersectionality. Any relevant trigger warnings are mentioned up front and then clearly marked throughout.

My only critical comment is that some of the phrasing gets a touch repetitive after a while, but apart from that this is a very solid memoir. Highly recommend if you're interested at all in the intersections of queerness and faith!

This is a very interesting book by Amber. He is the daughter. of a family. that is involved with focus on the family with James Dobson. there is drama, tragedy, and pain in this book. There are a few trigger warnings. about self harm. This is an amazing story about Amer as she comes out as a gay person. I recommend this book for those who want to lean about the experience of a gay person in a Christian community.

Thank you so much to the author for writing this. By the time I hit the last part of the book, I had to put it down because I had started to cry. The vulnerability and honesty in this book is heartbreaking yet affirming. I did not grow up in evangelical Christianity, but I was raised very religious, and I heavily related to a lot of what this book discusses (purity culture, misogyny, shame culture, etc.). Also, like the author, I have TTM (Trichotillomania) and hearing from someone else who shares that and knows what the shame is like is so validating. I am currently in a long-term heterosexual relationship, but even so I know I'll never tell my dad I'm biromantic, because I don't want to experience what I know he would say. I'm lucky to be able to hide it, in that sense, but I still deal with shame around purity culture (living with my partner before marriage, for example).

I loved this book and want to send the author all of my best wishes and energy to keep navigating the challenges life has thrown her way. Please know the time and effort (both physical and emotional) in writing this book has made a difference to one person, and I'm sure it will to many more. I know I will be recommending it to others, especially people who grew up in religious households similar to the one the author describes.

The moment I read, “Hi, this is Chris!” I had the Adventures in Odyssey theme in my head for the rest of the book. I even looked up what characters the author played. I’ve been reading/watching a lot about Christian cults and was waiting for James Dobson to come up. I was HEAVY in the Focus on the Family world as a kid, so clearly I had to read this.

This was really well written and painful in moments because I have a lot of family who believe the same as her family. I’ve received similar emails that weren’t as harsh but still were violently hurtful, so that also hit close to home. I rated one less star because themes/phrases were repeated multiple times and I wish things were hashed out a bit more. I’m grateful for the vulnerability of the author and a look into growing up surrounded by similar beliefs.

I got this from net galley in exchange for a review.