My partner kept asking if I was sick or crying because this book just kept me so emotionally raw the whole way through. As a person with a number of deep friendships, a queer person who came out into a world that didn’t have images that I could connect to of possible queer adulthoods, and someone who is both aromantic and polyamorous, I think a lot about what different relationship structures can offer and what their is actual cultural space for. Reading this book didn’t offer me everything I dreamed of but is a really nice pairing with Mia birdsong’s how we show up, and is what I think many people wanted Ann friedman/Aminatou Sow’s Big Friendship to be.

This is well researched and written in a beautiful way. It explores relationships we have with others besides the one you might think of at first. I loved it! Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. Five stars!

This book is meant to explore how friendships can be just as meaningful and important as romantic relationships. It’s interesting to learn how they may still be considered less than or disenfranchised due to various concerns. Considering we live in a “loneliness epidemic” this book feels especially poignant now.

I really enjoyed the deep dive into unconventional friendships. The concept of the chosen family (particularly in the LGBTQ community) is well-known; that was explored in this title, but the friendship I found most compelling was the one between the straight man and the gay man who chose to live celibate due to his religious beliefs. Recommended to increase empathy for others.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!

This is such an important read and a useful book on this topic.

We are conditioned to rely on our partners for everything and to find a partner at all costs and it’s not healthy for us or our eventual partners. This advice will be useful in my relationships.

I really enjoyed this book.

I loved to learn about how romantic love is a modern notion....where its all encompassing and one person becomes your everything.

I loved all of the stories from real people who have focused on friends as 'their person". This person can be a friend, a partner, a roommate...and this person is like another extension of yourself. Without the sex.

yet when an emergency happens, rights are denied or people make assumptions thinking that friends are in a romantic relationship.

How the media, the laws, and government does not recognize platonic relationships outside of marriage.

I cried many times throughout the stories. The deep love and admiration each friendship pair has for each other is beautiful.

I hope that the laws are changed to include more partnerships that are not marriage material.

Honestly, I did not like this book at first. The way the author described her friendship with "Em" felt a bit humble-braggy to me. But I read on and found the brief description of historical friendship norms to be very interesting (I wish the author had spent more time on this topic!). And then I reached the chapter where the author described the decline of her friendship with Em and it helped put her earlier, glowing descriptions of the seemingly perfect friendship into context.

In all, it was an interesting read and opened my eyes to the different ways friendships can be prioritized (and disenfranchised), both legally and socially.

As a nearly-50-year-old who has struggled for a lifetime with making friends, I hoped this book would be helpful.

You see, as the title suggests, I do value friendship as a high priority. But I am often left feeling like I have no irl friends, just those who live far away (some I have never met in person).

I enjoyed reading the stories shared by the author and others. As she says, "They take care of each other without hesitation, relish each other's brightest moments, and commemorate their friendship. They transform each other."

My grandmother had deep friendships, much like the ones shared in these pages. (For this reas9n and so many others, she has always been my role model.) But nobody, not even my grandma, could explain how one can go about finding these friends.

I appreciated the stories, and the quotes in each chapter, but I suppose I was hoping for more.

Yes, yes, YES! This book was exactly what I was hoping it would be! A book about all kinds of relationships that can make a person whole! I am a happily married woman, with a bunch of kids, a home, (what feels like a million, but is really 5) pets, car payments, and a bunch of bills....but I am surrounded by so many others, some in similar relationships, some in situationships, some in committed relationships with a partner, some who are single...and all of us are such wonderful friends. The bottom line is that there are so many ways to be fulfilled and so many ways to have significant others, being a half of a married whole isn't the only way to feel this way through life.
This book weaves it all together with research, stories, and a way that leaves you seeing that your way isn't the only way to be happy, their way isn't the only way to be happy, and there are so many different ways to have support in friendships.

IT’S A BOOK FULL OF LOVE IN EVERY FORM. I LOVED IT AND I RECOMMEND IT TO EVERY ONE WHO IS LOOKING FOR A WONDERFUL LOVE STORY.

I think the thought of your friends being your happily ever after is a generational thing, and something that I 100% approve of… Generations before took pride in being married early and having tons kids.. in 2024 and in this economy, that’s not realistic for most of us. Older women tend to look down on us for being in a 30s with no kids, or husband, meanwhile most( not all of course) weren’t happy, their lives revolved around taking her of their kids and having dinner on the table when their husband got home, all while looking perfect all the time.

In my friend group, most of us pay for weekly house cleaning, use meal prep and food delivery services, we’re known for saying “ I’m paying for convenience” every-time.. outsource any task I don’t want to do, we have a freedom they didn’t have.
If you notice older generations have to wait until they retire to travel with friends and relax.. meanwhile we’re using every minute of our PTO to hang with friend, take expensive trips.. out happiness is our number one priority.

And I problem went off topic which this book also did, but long story short, I expected to like this book way more then I did.. I wanted to be be a fun, uplifting story.. I thought it would feel like I was in my group chat, or a girls night in just talking and gossips.. and I ended up feeling like I was sitting in a class I couldn’t wait to leave.

In “The Other Significant Others,” Rhaina Cohen delivers an eye-opening exploration of relationships that challenges the conventional belief that romantic partnerships hold superior importance over friendships. With thought-provoking insights and captivating narratives, Cohen introduces us to individuals who have chosen friends as their life partners, defying societal norms in extraordinary ways.

Through years of meticulous research and original reporting, Cohen eloquently argues that we place excessive expectations on romantic relationships while undervaluing the profound potential of friendships. She skillfully traces the historical evolution of society’s focus on marriage and illustrates how it hasn’t always been the primary source of meaning or love.

One of the book’s strongest aspects is its ability to dismantle preconceived notions about the defining features of partnership. By introducing us to platonic partners who are home co-owners, co-parents, or caregivers for each other, Cohen challenges the assumption that sex is an essential component of a committed relationship. These diverse stories, spanning age, religion, gender, and sexuality, highlight the freeing and challenging aspects of embracing a relationship model that defies societal expectations.

“The Other Significant Others” also shines a light on the undeniable value of deep friendships and the ways in which we often overlook their potential. With society experiencing increasing rates of singleness, divorce, and the pervasive impact of loneliness, Cohen persuasively argues for recognizing the various forms of profound connection that can enrich our lives.

Cohen’s writing style is both engaging and incisive, making for an enlightening and enjoyable read. The combination of firsthand accounts and social science research lends credibility to her arguments and allows readers to grasp the tangible possibilities of embracing a friendship-centered approach to life.

While “The Other Significant Others” encourages us to question societal expectations of relationships, it may leave some readers yearning for further exploration of practical guidance or strategies for cultivating deep friendships. Nonetheless, the book succeeds in its overarching goal of challenging our preconceptions and expanding our understanding of what constitutes a fulfilling life.

In summary, “The Other Significant Others” is a rousing and thought-provoking book that disrupts traditional notions of relationships. Cohen’s skillful storytelling, supported by extensive research, encourages readers to reevaluate the importance placed on romantic partnerships and embrace the potential of deep friendships. This book is a compelling read for anyone interested in exploring alternative relationship models and seeking a broader understanding of what truly makes life meaningful.

Rating: 4/5 Stars