A memoir about growing up surrounded by mental health and through some really unfortunate and sucky lufe events learning how to be a positive support and voice for it. Meg Kissinger does a great job at painting a picture of how mental health was a part of her family life even before anyone really knew what it was or its affects on a person and family. With mental illness being such a focus today, it was so fascinating to see how through the generations it was so disregarded and despite causing chaos in a family and community, it was not looked at as an actual health issue and hidden and not talked about at all. I really enjoyed that despite all the sadness it brought to Meg's family life, in the end, she and her siblings and the future generation of her family find a way to not be embarrassed by it but instead recognize it and support each other through it. Meg's mission is not to show just the bad parts of mental health, but to show that with the right support it can be managed in a positive way and have positive outcomes.

Thank you NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the arc.

Dopesick's investigative reporting meets the family mental illness of Hidden Valley Road in this memoir about a large Catholic family's traumas of suicide. The author is a gripping audiobook narrator. This book made me feel less alone in my own family struggles, as Kissinger lost two siblings to suicide while enduring other familial illnesses including depression, bipolar disorder, and cancer. Kissinger is genuinely curious about the "curse" that intimidates her surviving family members and uses her journalistic talents to spotlight the societal pitfalls that keep mentally unhealthy individuals in a state of vulnerability.

TW: suicide, abuse

This book starts off sharply funny; the simple but effective descriptions of her family brought them to life. I enjoyed the snapshot into the post-war suburban family life, as unconventional as some aspects were. In talking about her uncle’s untimely death, Kissinger points out a depressing and shocking statistic I never knew: over 15,000 American soldiers died in flight training in WW2! So many young lives were snuffed out too soon due to negligence and poor oversight of a system that is supposed to be designed to protect them.

As the author explores her family life when she was younger, one line stood out: “I don’t think he meant to hurt us. He just didn’t know how not to”. Kissinger says this about her Dad’s tendency to hit her and her 7 siblings when he was angry. It shows the author's compassion and understanding, her desire to love and forgive her family's flaws. She focuses on the good while acknowledging how the pain of the bad times has shaped her and her family. This can be said for all of the trials and tribulations the Kissinger family went through, of which there were, tragically, far too many.

The author does an exceptional job of combining her own deeply personal memoir with a thorough and disturbing foray into how poorly those with mental illness in America are treated. Looking at it through a historical lens, those with mental illness went from being treated worse than animals during the times of Bedlam, to being thrown out on the street through mass deinstitutionalization, all while being marginalized, ignored, or downright abused by the system that is supposed to be helping them. I really appreciated how hard Kissinger worked as an investigative reporter to expose the awful ways people with mental illness have been treated across the country for so many years. While there have been improvements to how mental health is treated since Kissinger was younger, things have not improved nearly as much as they should have.

Kissinger’s memoir covers the many failings of the American mental health system while exposing the raw and emotional intricacies of her family’s struggles. I loved how insightful it was and how the family kept their sense of humor even in the toughest times. Gallows humor was at its best in one of the most memorable lines from the book: “There’s no laughing in the f#@*&%$ suicide line!” Having the author narrate this book gave it an even deeper level of intimacy. I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys memoirs or knows someone who struggles with mental health.

I loved this. It is raw, perfectly narrated, and interesting. I took a lot of walks so I could listen without interruption. It had me thinking for sure.

Thank you NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.


Meg Kissinger has reported on the deplorable conditions in state mental health institutions and public housing for years. Her work has brought her dozens of awards, including a Pulitzer Prize. It also led to changes in the state mental health programs and over 600 new affordable housing units in her city. But it is the very personal connection Kissinger shares with this reporting that made it both heartbreaking and healing to write, and to read.

While You Were Out: An intimate family portrait of mental illness in an era of silence is the haunting tale of living in a family wracked with mental health challenges from depression to substance abuse. Kissinger recounts the generational trauma that impacted her family, as well as the genetic connections to certain mental illnesses like schizophrenia and depression. As with any memoir, this book delves into very personal conversations and experiences within the Kissinger siblings – something she received their approvals to include. But not every moment in this family’s history is dark. She includes moments of levity and laughter, showing the character of her family in the good times, too. This is truly a book about seeing the person, not the illness, which is key to all of Kissinger’s journalistic writings.

I give While You Were Out 5 out of 5 stars. It is a brave act to reveal so many personal tragedies and struggles to the world. I appreciate the way Kissinger details the cascading effects of tragedy – a loved one’s death causes family members to self-medicate or spiral into depression, which in turn leads to substance abuse or suicidal thoughts. I appreciated the inclusion of the personal guilt several family members felt after each incident. As an audiobook, I also appreciate Kissinger’s work as the narrator. Hearing her speak about her siblings gives her words more life and authenticity.

I would direct this book to more mature audiences over 16. With a basis of mental health struggles, this book may not be well suited for readers who are, themselves, struggling with mental health challenges at this time. This book has dark moments that could be triggering for those currently in treatment for their mental health, or those who have lost a loved one to the struggle. I would, however, recommend this book to anyone looking to understand the struggle to treat mental illnesses – it is a beautiful testament to the challenges to stabilize after a crisis.

When I saw this audiobook on Netgalley, I was quick to request the opportunity to review it. As someone in treatment for mental health challenges, I appreciate books that give the reader a look at the humanity behind the struggle and remove the stigma of treatment. The description of this book drew my attention including the title. While You Were Out is named after the little pink note with the message her mother left, telling of her grandmother’s passing. But that title is so much more and alludes to the adage of patients being “out of their mind” while in crisis. It was a healing experience to listen to the book and gave me the insight and language to have more constructive conversations with my treatment team. I hope this book can help other patients and their loved ones in a similar way.

Mesmerizing story of mental health and growing up in a large family dealing with mental health. This was sad but I also learned a lot.

I actually listened to the audiobook. This is a difficult book to rate. At times I found the way it was written and narrated to be almost cold and unfeeling and then other times I was moved to tears.

This is a book about mental illness and the many ways it can impact a family. The concept of suicide and suicidal ideation is a very constant theme throughout so this could be very triggering for some.

Parts of this are a description of the author's family life and the way she and her family were impacted by mental illness and alcoholism throughout their childhood and earlier adult years. Other times it reads more like an investigative journalism piece about mental illness. Understanding who the author is this makes sense. However, I found myself wanting to know more about her and her family and not a clinical investigative piece. She spends a lot of time discussing her early years but her own adult years are only discussed in relation to her family of origin. I found myself invested in her story and wanting to know how she was or was not repeating patterns in her own marriage and nuclear family.

Overall, this was an interesting and moving story.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review.

Memoir of a 10-person family plagued by various mental illnesses from the 1960s to present day. Part personal experience, part journalistic deep dive, the look at how mental healthcare failed this family and many others is devastating. It’s heavy reading, but clearly written with compassion in an effort to normalize these struggles.

This book was disturbing, honest and shines a light on mental health and the failure of the government and psychology to provide help for those suffering. Meg's honestly brings to light the mental health crisis in America and in families too ashamed to talk about it. So many suffer but often refuse to get help due to the stigma attached to a mental health diagnosis. By bringing her story to light she is helping other families know that they are not alone that so many people suffer and maybe is we ban together we may be able to help.

So much of her story resonated with me from the relief and guilt she felt when her sister Nancy died, to begrudgingly sharing her story with others and the wealth of support and understanding she received. She expected condemnation but was surprised by how much her story touched others lives. When we were struggling with our daughters drug addiction it was so hush hush, when she died some didn't want to say how she died but I'm not for hiding and secrets and I will tell anyone that asks and even those that don't. We have to bring these issues out into the open and stop looking at people with mental illness and drug addiction as less then. They are people and they have families who love and will miss them if they die. We need to have more compassion for those who struggle instead of brushing them aside as losers or "that would never happen in my family".

I see so many young people today suffering from crippling anxiety, particularly after COVID. Mental illness needs to be addressed and this book is a great stepping stone to learning more and gaining compassion for those who suffer. First hand accounts tend to put faces to mental illness and we start to recognize them as human. Fantastic book and brave of her to write it.

I didn’t know what to expect when starting this audiobook, but I am blown away.. A part memoir, part investigative journalism, this book explores the impact mental illness has on Meg’s family across generations during an era where people didn’t talk about mental health. It also explores the lack of/broken mental health systems in America.

Wow. I wasn’t sure what to expect but I’m so glad I read this book.

I appreciate Meg sharing her family’s story with us all. I know that was not easy but I honestly think people could really benefit from reading this.

I listened to the audiobook which was narrated by the author. Her voice was very soothing and I felt at peace listening to her speak.

I work for a mental healthcare company and I believe that there is so much more we can all be doing to help. I love that Meg shared how she made it her mission to educate others and put a spotlight on the injustices of those struggling from addiction and mental illness.

I highly recommend While You Were Out if you enjoy tales of real families and advocating for mental health. Thank you to NetGalley, Meg Kissinger; Celadon Books and Macmillan Audio for the opportunity to read it. I have written this review voluntarily.

This memoir is heart wrenching about a family of 10 with mental illness. There are many triggers in this book that are hard to listen to. Suicide is very imminent in this book. I had a hard time with that part as I’ve known 2 people in 4 years who committed this horrific way to go. The narrator/author is fabulous!! I could not stop listening to it. I give it all the stars!! Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this awesome book in advance for my honest review. To be published September 2023.

This is a sensitive and heartbreaking exploration of mental health issues that have generationally plagued one family, carefully and lovingly conveyed through the writing and narration of Meg Kissinger. The author not only relays the story of her family, she also delves into how it affected her career choice as a journalist and how she became an investigator and advocate for other families and people struggling with mental health care issues. Her resolve to better understand the family she grew up with and how to make things better for them through communication, love and understanding, stands as a testament to the impact one person can have when they listen to and follow their heart. Thank you to Net Galley and MacMillan Audio for the opportunity to listen to this Outstanding ARC.

While You Were Out is a riveting memoir about family mental illness and addiction.

The author, Meg Kissenger, is an award-winning investigative journalist, so she takes us into her past with finite precision to help unlock her family's kept secrets.

Just as is the case with Hidden Valley Road (by Robert Kolker), this is a must-read if you appreciate learning about mental health, our broken healthcare systems, how big families cope, and how our familial issues pass through the generations.

Once I started listening to this audiobook, I couldn't stop until the very last word.

Warning... it can be super triggery. Topics covered include trauma, depression, abuse, alcoholism, racism, suicide, hospitalization, abortion, abandonment, religious politics, systemic healthcare issues, cancer, death, and sooooo much more...

Thank you to Macmillan Audio for the advanced listener copy of the audiobook via the NetGalley app.

This memoir of Meg’s family is heart wrenching. She does an incredible job of letting us imagine the pain and hopelessness of her family’s mental health struggles in an era of silence. When mental health is kept secretive and hidden. While vividly told, it’s also a manageable read, even for someone with mental illness (I have depression and PTSD).

This was mostly memoir, but also included some of her journalistic research on the mental health situation across the United States. More like the lack of mental health resources available for those who need it.

The heartbreak of seeing family members, or yourself, in desperate need of help, yet having no resources to turn to, is heartbreaking. Powerlessness. Draining. We have made progress in recent years but we have a long ways to go in supporting mental health needs.

Thank you, Meg, for writing this book. You did an excellent job with the narration on the audiobook as well!