Eli Ward hasn't returned home to New Port Stephen, Florida, since his transition 8 years ago, but now that his comedy career has tanked thanks to scandal, he just wants to get through the holidays with his well-meaning but misguided family. Of course, returning home means running into his past, and it's not long before Eli bumps into his high school boyfriend, Nick Wu, a divorced dad to Zoe (age 4). Eli thinks Nick is hotter than ever but must be completely straight, while Nick realizes that he still loves Eli, which sets him off on a thoughtful exploration of his own sexuality. But can they find a meeting of the minds -- and hearts -- in a state where Eli's very existence as a trans man is threatened by the government?

Alexander's latest book explores some of the nuances of establishing one's trans identity, especially with people from a pre-transition life. For example, while Eli's parents offer their verbal support and love, Eli has to point out that some of their actions (like holding on to several photos of pre-transition Eli) have the impact of making him feel unseen. But some of those nuances can be internalized, like how Eli can't seem to see Nick as anything but a straight guy since Nick's only relationships have been with people assigned female at birth. Eli and Nick's relationship suffers at times from lack of clear communication, based on assumptions like those, and it takes time for them to express themselves openly.

These two main characters get support from great side characters: Eli's friend Margo is brash and blunt and funny but always loving, and Nick's ex-wife Laurie provides acceptance and suggestions for Nick to help him reconsider his own sexuality. Little Zoe is, of course, a treat -- funny and feisty and totally accepting of Eli as Daddy's friend.

Beautifully imperfect characters with a moderately steamy level of attraction (and sex) and a bumpy journey to the HEA are hallmarks of Alexander's writing, and this book has all that along with heartfelt notes on the transphobic trend of legislation in the US today. 4 stars.

CW: rise of transphobic legislation, loss of parent in an accident, alcoholism, discussions of racism

Thank you, Atria and NetGalley, for providing an eARC of this book. Opinions expressed here are solely my own.

This is the first book I've read by TJ Alexander, and it definitely won't be my last. I loved this book!!! I loved the overarching theme of how it's never too late to discover who you are and how we are all learning and growing.

In this book we follow Eli, a trans man, coming home for the holidays who runs into his highschool ex and their journey of re-meeting and getting to know each other again.

Maybe it's the millennial in me, but this book was SO relatable on so many levels. The boomer parents, the fucked up things we said and did as kids, the awe of younger generations and how we can learn so much from them. There's something really special when the main characters are in their late 30s, but have known eachother since they were kids. I personally cringe all the time when I think of how I acted/my beliefs when I was in my teens, and TJ really captures that sort of growth/mortification.

I loved all the supporting characters (except Kay). I don't normally love kid characters, but ZOE??? SO cute and funny.

TJ also did a really good job of handling a wide range of topics thoughtfully, and all of the political issues mentioned are present IRL (unfortunately). I loved this, it was so refreshing to read a book that doesn't shy away from a lot of the fucked up realities that make up living in the USA as any sort of minority.

The spice!!!! It was really good, and never felt repetitive (which is how I feel about spice a lot of the time).

Also all the Florida man references made me laugh and the Florida references were perfect.

One thing I didn't love was the cover, but that's just a personal preference.

Thanks to Netgalley and Atria for the ARC!

TJ Alexander ALWAYS nails it but this book ran even deeper for me. To read about two characters who are nearly forty and still trying to figure out who they are, whew I needed that. To read a hopeful romance set in the climate that is modern day Florida? WHEW I needed that too. This was beautiful and messy and perfect. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advance copy.