Member Reviews
A memoir about the loss of her best friend, this book takes a look at several forms of loss and the grief we experience. Jewelry stolen from her apartment, life interrupted because of the pandemic, she walks us through her loss of each with humor, and stunning writing. I think we all hope to have the kind of mentorship and friendship that she describes in this book. Relatable and sincere, this was my first time reading this author and I will definitely go back to her previous work.
This book left me wanting to run to pick up everything by Joan Didion.
It’s a gray, rainy day here. The perfect day to sit and think about grief and loss and friendship.
This was genuinely moving and beautifully written! I loved Sloane Crosley's first novel The Clasp and I've enjoyed some of her books of essays. In this memoir, Crosley contends with the dual losses of her beloved jewelry collection (her NYC apartment was robbed on June 27, 2019) and the death of her closest friend Russell by suicide exactly one month later on July 27, 2019. That's not to say at all that Crosley equates the two in her memoir but rather that these two distinct experiences of loss weave themselves together in her life — and, of course, as a narrative device for the memoir. I read this entire book in a day; it's fast paced, clever, and at moments, genuinely laugh-out-loud funny. It's hard to imagine that a memoir about loss would make me laugh out loud, but Crosley's writing did. Her writing is also profound without being grandiose or overdone; she makes keen observations about her experiences of loss that are both specific and relatable. I also love that Crosley incorporated references to some of Russell's most beloved artists into the book; as a theater lover, I was particularly struck that Crosley included lyrics from Stephen Sondheim's Into The Woods in the epigraph and also references Sondheim on other occasions. Crosley offers up a glimpse into her own humanity and the deeply human, personal experience of loss, but she also does so with her own particular flair and deliciously clever writing.
A beautiful tribute to a friend, a mentor, and a complicated figure. Crosley really captures what it's like to love someone who is flawed. To be angry, and sad, and confused at the loss all at once. To equate two very different kinds of loss in your mind, to feel feel agreived in a similar way, almost as a protection. I loved this collection, which is full of gems of wisdom, humor in the face of grief, and heartfelt writing.
A heavy memoir from a much beloved writer. Glimpses of her essay style here with several threads interwoven.
4.5⭐️
I’ve been a fan of Sloane Crosley’s writing since her first collection I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE CAKE was released in 2008 when I was in my 30s working in NYC. Grief is for People is Crosby’s memoir about loss, love, memory and living with loss. Crosley’s NYC apartment gets broken into and her grandmother’s jewelry is stolen. While she didn’t particularly like her grandmother, the loss of these things that held her family’s history was jarring — on top of the physical invasion into her home. A month later her friend and mentor Richard takes his life by suicide.
Crosley reflects on these events as she deals with the trauma and feelings that emerge. I can’t really describe this book in a way that does it justice because it is so unique. It was refreshing to hear about a mentorship/friendship between a man and woman in the publishing industry. Along with that, I loved the inside look at the publishing industry, especially the whole James Frey incident — oh I remember that one!
I binged this book and you should too.
Thank you to #netgalley and #fsg for an advanced e-arc in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
“Denial is humankind’s specialty, our handy aversion. We are so allergic to our own mortality; we’ll do anything to make it not so.”
Grief is for People is one of the most heartbreaking books I’ve read and yet I would recommend it to most who have experienced heavy grief in their life (so, most people). Crosley is specifically writing through the stages of grief after her best friend dies by suicide, but I think it has sentiments that feel relatable even if you have not lost someone to suicide.
It’s a book you need to be in the right headspace for, and for anyone with a history of suicide I would recommend proceeding with caution. I nevertheless found the writing to be powerful and raw, painting a portrait of how it feels to be left behind after losing someone you love.
I absolutely loved GRIEF IS FOR PEOPLE. Sloane Crosley writes her way through losses of many shapes and sizes, paramount among them, the suicide of one of her closest friends Russell Perreault. She wittily meanders through a maze of feeling and wondering, reconnaissance missions towards understanding and meaning-making, and a trove of memories of friendship, hard work, and some good-old growing-up (of people and world).
“He liked to speak of how one should be on the side of the bygone, otherwise people forget too easily, of how the dead, because they are dead, are more perfect. No one blinks at nihilism when it’s disguised as good taste. It is only now that Russell is gone that I can see how poisonous such obsessions are for a person who makes the dead more alive than the living, a person in grave danger of joining their ranks.”
Having noticed this tendency of her beloved friend and former colleague, Crosley does not err by writing eulogy. She asks hard questions and humanizes the many possible hard answers. She examines loss and becoming from many angles and does not shy from those that might be less flattering. She conjures complicated lives and sits in the messiness. And Crosley does it all with language that is as funny as it is serious and seriously thought-provoking. A masterclass in the volatility, mystery, pain, and beauty of grief. An act of many kinds of generosity.
I found so much meaning in being granted access to Crosley’s grieving mind, where losing and missing proved generative. I wish she could have been spared these experiences, but GRIEF IS FOR PEOPLE was a joy to read, a gift. I feel grateful for this book and I highly highly recommend!!
Thank you @netgalley and @fsgbooks for the digital copy!! GRIEF IS FOR PEOPLE comes out on February 27 💜
Grief Is for People by Sloane Crosley is a memoir about the loss of her best friend to suicide. This was a fantastic book about the way grief invades every aspect of our lives and changes how we think. Crosley does mention Joan Didion's writing throughout the book and this did remind me a lot of The Year of Magical Thinking.
This was a quick read at only 208 pages, but it is so powerful and so memorable. The writing is incredibly raw and real. Crosley doesn't hold anything back and brings the reader into that time period and how she was feeling.
I found Grief Is for People to be captivating, honest, and unlike any other memoir about grief that I’ve read. Crosley explores grief through interweaving three significant events in her life that occurred in a relatively short time span (a theft, the death of her close friend by suicide, and the pandemic hitting NYC). While it is obviously about Crosley’s specific experiences, anyone who has experienced sudden loss will find parts of their experiences in it as well.
There were so many parts of this book that resonated with me: finding connections between unrelated events, finding significance in small details or objects, the all-consuming nature of grief, the what-ifs, and how some losses are socially validated while others are barely acknowledged as true loss.
While the subject matter is already impactful, the language and style really drives it all home. I found myself highlighting several passages that perfectly captured a concept or emotion. If you’re a fan of memoirs or of the author, this is a must-read.
*Thank you to NetGalley, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, MCD, and Sloane Crosley, for the opportunity to read a free eARC of this title in exchange for an honest review.*
I've read at least one other Sloane Crosley memoir - I believe her first one from 2008 or so. She just keeps getting better and this book is a prime example of that.
Grief Is for People is the story of Sloane and her closest friend, also her boss, at Vintage Books and his sudden death. This book, I'm assuming will have trigger warnings for its content. I won't go into detail here about the nature of Russell's death, but it is sudden and before his time.
Sloane does such a wonderful job of weaving in a secondary story of a break in to her apartment with the death of her friend, juxtaposing and connecting the two in her very wry and sometimes outright comedic voice.
I really related to her journey through grief as I have also lost some loved ones suddenly.
"And no one is obliged to learn anything from loss. This is a horrible thing we do to the newly stricken, encouraging them to remember the good times while they're still in the fetal position."
Grief Is for People follows Crosley in the aftermath of a home robbery as well as the loss of a close friend. I have never read a book that so well incapsulates grief/loss in a way that is familiar and frustrating. Crosley's writing style makes this book work so well if you've never read her work, I'd highly recommend starting with this one.
My heart still hurts after finishing this book last night. Grief Is for People is a memoir centered around the death of Sloane Crosley’s close friend who died by suicide. The book also focuses on the grief she experienced when her house was robbed and jewelry had been stolen. It explores the intersection of these two losses. Of coming to accept that you cannot get back what you lost.
I highly recommend Grief Is for People, but of course trigger warning on death/suicide. I don’t want to say too much more as it’s obviously a very personal work. I’ll just say that her writing is beautiful, and the book serves as a powerful and painful homage and love letter to her friend.
I love Sloane Crosley and all the humor she brings to her writing, so I was interested to see how that would translate in this incredibly personal book about a home burglary and losing a close friend to suicide. I think this was done perfectly. Her language really brings a fresh perspective to
the stages of grief and how you can lose part of yourself through other people. There’s also tons of behind the scenes stuff about the publishing industry which was fun.
My first FIVE STAR read of 2024 - this book is breathtaking. Crosley managed to relate her experience with loss in a way that resonated with me in a profound way. Maybe it's the humor she uses in one sentence followed by the next sentence that is a visceral punch to the gut that made this book so incredible. Maybe it's the profoundly-masterful writing. At one point, she described her decisions to go and do things after her loss as a swimmer pushing off of the pool wall. Can't you picture that and relate to how life is sometimes? I had to put the book down several times to absorb a beautiful sentence. I started reading it aloud because it's THAT kind of gorgeous. Brava to Sloane Crosley. Putting this on my shelf because I need to be near it at all times.
Grief is for people is an acutely observed memoir of the author wrestling with her best friends death to suicide. I have never highlighted so many sections of a memoir--since this is an ARC & the words might not be final so I won't share any quotes-- but trust me when I say she writes clearly, and devastatingly. She tackles three types of grief that are challenging, a sudden, violent, loss, taboo grief, via suicide, and grief of a best friend. At one point she talks about how they don't have grief groups for friend which reminded me of other recent books I've read that are beginning to tackle friendship as a major theme.
At times the memoir is disjointed, and lacking cohesiveness but I think that's how most grief memoirs are. It's well worth reading and I would put it on the shelf next to her oft-quoted, Joan Didion's "My Year of Magical Thinking."
Thank you to Netgalley & MCD for the Advanced Review Copy.
I loved this rumination on grief, publishing and NYC. This memoir reads like a love letter to both Crosley’s beloved best friend Russell and also to Manhattan. She is a New Yorker and she is a survivor of her best friend’s suicide. I could see Russell so clearly, and felt her anger, despair, sadness, confusion and broken heart. Some of the writing in this book absolutely took my breath away with its beauty, and brutal honesty. I really, really loved it, and hope it receives the attention it deserves.
The pairing of Crosby's wry humor and the subject of loss works well. To lose a friend via suicide is a terrible thing and a subject that reverberates through the book. Where did such a vivacious person go? Why did he do that? The book explores these questions without providing easy answers. An evocative exploration of grief and sadness
Grief is tough to write. Unless you're Joan Didion.
Did you know that emus and kangaroos cannot go backwards? It's a metaphor.
Thanks to the good folk at NetGalley for the chance to read an ARC of this book. It's worth reading.
Crosley really demonstrates the rambling nature of grief, both in style and substance. I loved how she connected these two moments in her life to show how everything in our lives is connected. Sometimes the structure was a bit confusing, but overall I really enjoyed this.
Really excellent. I loved the intertwining narratives of her losing her best friend and her jewellry being stolen. Excellent characterizations and very self reflective in a way that didn't feel gratuitous.