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Member Reviews
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I was intrigued by the premise of this book. I wasn't crazy about the "sex no feelings" part, since these people were married though - I definitely wouldn't be comfortable with that.
Overall, interesting premise, well written, but I couldn't get into the true story.
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The Marriage Sabbatical by Lian Dolan is a very real look at a forty-something couple whose kids are out of the house and now they much decide if they are really "they" anymore. This novel is prime for discussion and would be perfect for a book club pick!
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I loved the international settings of this story and settings in Santa Fe and Portland, the latter city which piqued my interest from reading the first page. The main characters are interesting and time moves well through the story. I would have liked for there to have been more passion for Nicole even though the traveling was fulfilling for her. The author says something meaningful about the nuances of marriage.
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We follow a married couple who have have been together 23 years. They are now empty nesters & have chosen to go on a sabbatical from their marriage. They follow the "500 mile rule", which is pretty much out of sight out of mind. They have sexual relationships with others then come back together to their monotonous lives. It was okay. I enjoyed the flashbacks to when they first met more than the present
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After 23 years of marriage, Jason and Nicole send their kids off to college, with plans to leave behind life for a year-long adventure in South America. The problem is, Nicole doesn't want to go on this trip, which Jason originally planned with a friend who has died. Before they head off, the 2 have dinner with neighbors across the street, only to learn that when they travel more than 500 miles from each other, the couple is allowed to have sex with other people as long as there's no emotion involved.
At first boggled by the idea, Jason and Nicole continue with their trip prep. Then one night Nicole 'fesses up and says that she wants to spend her year away in Santa Fe, learning about silversmithing rather than motorcycling over rough terrain, then living in a hut by the ocean. As the two negotiate the new plan, they agree to try on the 500 mile rule for size.
The story switches between the two main characters' perspectives, and the past and present, adeptly weaving the storylines together. The main characters are a little underdeveloped, but the overall story flows well, resulting in a fun and satisfying read.
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The Marriage Sabbatical is a thoughtful exploration of a very timely topic. It seems that a lot of couples are getting more creative lately in making monogamy work well in the long term. So I was completely caught up in this novel where couple Nicole and Jason experiment with implementing a "500-mile rule" in relationship once they are empty nesters. I don't want to spoil the details of the arrangement, but I found it very interesting to read about how they negotiated the terms and made it work for them.
I also really appreciated getting to read about the couple's back story... how they met and fell in love back in the 90s. The retro pop culture references were fun and added great context.
I think The Marriage Sabbatical would make a great book club choice because it gives readers a lot of potentially controversial topics to discuss. It even makes you wonder if you could handle such an arrangement in your own life.
Thank you to NetGalley, William Morrow, and Lian Dolan for the complimentary eARC in exchange for my honest feedback.
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Mid-4os, kids off to college, and 20+ years of marriage can leave anyone questioning who they are as a person outside of "spouse" and "parent". Nicole and Jason agree to take time apart and pursue their passions, rediscover themselves outside of marriage, and finally fill their own cups after decades of pouring into others.
This felt so incredibly relatable on multiple fronts. Marriage and parenting and just surviving life takes work and it's easy, especially as a woman, to lose pieces of yourself until one day you look in the mirror and the only parts of your identity that are identifiable is mom and wife. Nicole taking the time to pursue her interests and pick back up from where she left as she started motherhood felt so freeing as a reader. Even with the hall pass stance her husband and her decided to take, the romance aspect or pursuing literally anyone other than herself was so back seat. The show of insecurity of will returning to each other at the end be enough, if she can still compete with the single and younger, honestly the entire struggle of trying to find pieces of herself were great.
Nicole and Jason spend several chapters of the book flashing back so readers can get a true sense and understanding of their relationship and dynamics. This was a read of self discovery and also rediscovering your partner even if at a distance.
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To say I’ve never thought about taking a holiday separate from my husband would be a big, ol’, lie! It’s an intriguing concept, to be sure, and seeing it written on the pages of this book showed pros and cons to the idea.
The main characters in this book take long-term vacations alone, having adventures they’ve dreamed of, and even take it to another level by each taking a lover. I enjoyed the dual narrative and appreciated the scenes from the past that gave insight into the life of the couple.
I enjoyed all aspects from this book from the lush descriptions of the places Nicole and Jason visit, to the fantastic cast of secondary characters we meet along the way. If I had one complaint, it would be that there was no spice, and I’m sort of in my spice era. Other than that, it’s a charming read perfect for the beach or your next buddy read.
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What if you could take a vacation from your marriage?
Marriage is hard, and this book is a great reminder of how important it is, in any type of relationship, to not forget to prioritize yourself, and that it’s okay to change and grow over time as an individual. There’s a bit of magic in this story that is so realistic, and I highly recommend anyone in a relationship pick this one up. The characters were extremely likeable and even relatable for me and I really enjoyed this one. I'm also an absolute sucker for a dual POV, so this really took it over the edge.
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With such a provocative premise - empty nesters give each other a pass to separately pursue their dreams and potentially other people for nine months - I expected more out of this one but it was still an entertaining read.
3.5 stars
Thanks to William Morrow for the copy to review.
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REVIEW: The Marriage Sabbatical ⭐⭐⭐
“The key is that you knew when to let go of one idea and embrace another.” -Lian Dolan, Marriage Sabbatical.
The premise of The Marriage Sabbatical was very intriguing. Jason and Nicole have been married for twenty-three years, have raised two children, and have recently become empty nesters. Jason receives a 9-month sabbatical from work so he plans an adventurous trip with Nicole but she doesn’t want to go. So they both decided to do their things in different locations during this time. I thought the idea of this story was very unique. I couldn’t imagine being away from my partner for 9 months straight, but it works for some people.
I really liked the dual point of view to see what they were doing during their sabbaticals. I also liked Jason and Nicole's email conversations with one another to stay in touch. They started pretty standard and then developed into something deeper. This book has so much self-discovery for each character which was great to see. Sometimes you just need to step back to get more perspective.
There were a few things that just didn’t work for me. First of all this story was very slow. I felt myself scanning ahead on paragraphs so that something would happen. Along the same lines, there weren’t many funny or even romantic parts. I went into this book thinking it would be more of a romance book but it didn’t have much. I felt as though I couldn’t even root for Jason and Nicole to get back together because I didn’t care about them. There were some flashbacks of their relationship but it was really hard to see the chemistry between the two of them.
Overall I didn’t think The Marriage Sabbatical was a bad book; I just think it wasn’t what I was expecting. Just not the right one for me.
Thank you Netgalley and William Morrow for the free advanced copy for my honest review!
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The idea of taking a vacation from your marriage and having some time for self discovery was an intriguing idea to me although it’s not something I would consider myself. Nicole and Jason have been married for over 20 years and their marriage has gone stagnant. They have become victims to the routines of busy careers and parenting until their neighbors introduce them to the idea of the 500 Mile Rule - You can take on other partners when your 500+ miles away from your partner so long as it’s purely physical and no feelings come of it. Jason and Nicole decide to entertain this rule with their kids both traveling abroad for school, Jason taking a sabbatical for work overseas and Nicole going to New Mexico to learn silversmithing. What sounds like a recipe for disaster teaches each part of this couple a lot about themselves and was an enjoyable story in the process. I found Nicole’s character relatable and really appreciated her growth throughout.
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Jason has earned a sabbatical from work. He has it all planned. He is going to be totally unplugged in the wilderness of South America. Nicole is having second thoughts. She does not want to go. She has decided she wants to go to Santa Fe and learn to make jewelry.
These two come up with a plan of the 500 mile rule. They can enjoy someone else’s company while they are apart. Don’t ask, don’t tell!
Now, I am not going to lie. When I first started this book, I thought, oh, this is not going to be for me. But, I kept going. And it did get better! And it is because the characters are so well written. But, I also had a bit of trouble with their decisions. Which is the whole point of this story. This is not your normal romance, nor is it something I would ever even consider. But, to each his own!
This is more of a story about renewal and self care. But, then realization hits and these two realize they love each other more than they thought.
I have read another book by this author, Lost and Found in Paris. I enjoyed it as well! So, if this different type of marriage is not for you, check out this other book! I enjoyed it as well!
Need a unique tale of marriage…THIS IS IT! Grab your copy today.
I received this novel from the publisher for a honest review.
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I went into this novel with an open mind- who wouldn’t want to put their lives on hold for 9 months to pursue a creative hobby?
Jason and Nicole have been married for 23 years and are in a rut. When both of their kids study abroad for a year, Jason arranges for he and Nicole to spend 9 months traveling in South America. After the death of his best friend, Jason is living the YOLO life. But Nicole is feeling this too and wants to do her own passion- making jewelry in Santa Fe. They decide it could be a good idea to take a break from each other… and their marriage. They institute a 500 mile rule; it’s okay to be with someone else as long as they are more than 500 miles away and no babies are made.
I love the idea of taking a break to follow your dreams, but the break from their marriage just made me so sad. I also don’t understand how they both just abandoned their kids? I studied abroad for a full year when I was in college and I loved to call or Skype my parents with tales of my travels. They barely speak to their kids!
I did like how the book ended with everyone meeting up on a trip to the Philippines. This book was definitely entertaining, but I can see how some people might be turned off by the authorized cheating.
Thank you @williammorrowbooks for gifted ebook. The Marriage Sabbatical is out now.
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I very much enjoyed this dual POV, mid-life crisis type book wherein a long married couple decides to take a 'gap year' from their marriage and do their own thing, giving each other permission to also sleep with other people during the year. While this plot has been done before (see Last couple standing) and it often ends in a split, this time it helped each person grow individually and realize just how much they truly loved their partner. Great on audio and I think my new fav from Lian Dolan. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review!
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Polyamory is the latest trend in relationships…it seems everyone is doing it. With everyone. My inner Carrie Bradshaw can’t help but wonder how people juggle more than one partner when it’s hard enough finding time for him with work responsibilities, family needs, exercise, etc. When I picked up Lian Dolan’s latest women’s fiction novel, The Marriage Sabbatical, I expected it to explore the complications of multiple relationships outside of the main one. Instead, The Marriage Sabbatical is a gentle look at a decades-long marriage, and what happens when two people decide to take a geographic break to explore their own individual interests. With a relatively slow pace, low stakes, and lots of description, The Marriage Sabbatical wasn’t written to blow up marriages, but to defend them.
With two kids in college and a year-long sabbatical from his publishing job, Jason Elswick is excited for his nine-month motorcycling trip to South America with his wife, Nicole. But after a surprising dinner with neighbors who confess a “500 mile rule” for fidelity, Nicole confesses she doesn’t want to go on the trip after all. She wants her own sabbatical from cooking and taking care of the house—in Santa Fe, New Mexico, where she wants to study jewelry making. At first hurt, eventually Jason agrees… and the couple decides to adopt their own 500-mile rule. Can their marriage survive the separation and temptation?
The Marriage Sabbatical is told from both spouse’s points-of-view, and at times Dolan meanders into head-hopping and even the point-of-view of other characters. Nevertheless, both Jason and Nicole come across as kind, thoughtful people you’d want as friends. The book takes place in the past and the present, alternating chapters as Dolan takes us through their first and second meetings, the early and later days of their marriage, and other milestones.
What makes a marriage work? Is it possible to be happily married and still retain a sense of self? Whose needs should come first in a marriage? And how important is sex? Dolan does a bang-up job exploring these questions, but for me, her descriptions were the element that kept me turning pages. Nicole is a retail merchandiser with a strong sense of style, and I enjoyed every scene that featured her working with clothes or decorating a house or a shop. Santa Fe is depicted in such detail that I wanted to run out and buy turquoise jewelry and a plane ticket. Jason’s rugged motorcycle adventures make it clear that Nicole was right to opt out of the trip. The book is as much a travelogue as it is a novel.
Thanks to this book, Santa Fe is on my bucket list. But I won’t be taking a jewelry course, and I’ll definitely be traveling with my husband. The Marriage Sabbatical works great as a book, but as a life choice, it’s not for me.
Thanks to William Morrow for the book in exchange for an honest review.
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Jason and Nicole are just your typical old married couple. (Well, maybe not old, but middle aged.) They have two kids, are empty nesters, live in the suburbs, they don't have a whole lot going on their life. Until, Jason gets to go on a year long sabbatical to find something to write about for work. The trip will take them through the jungle, to all parts of the world, then they will convene and meet their children who are studying abroad in Asia. They will then travel as a family for a vacation in Hawaii before life goes back to the same ol' same ol'. That is until they learn about the 500 rule from their neighbors. The neighbors can do whatever they want to outside their marriage when they are more than 500 miles apart. Nicole decides to come clean and tell Jason that she has no interest in going on this sabbatical. She hate the ocean, she hates being hot, she hates camping - all the things the trip entails. She tells Jason that he will go alone and she will move to Santa Fe and take silversmith classes because she has always dreamed of it. They lease their house in Portland to a family and they head their seperate ways.
How will they navigate the 500 mile rule? Will it change them? Will the Sabbatical from each other have a positive or negative effect on their marriage/relationship?
All in all a good read. I am very anti-adultry, so this topic was a little meh to me, but I loved the character of Nicole and what she does to fullfill her dream and find herself after years of sacrificing herself for being a mom.
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Adored this relatable story of a couple learning to find themselves and one another. Dolan has a way of inviting readers into her characters' world with a warm, witty and accessible voice. Great spring read. Would recommend!
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Thanks to William Morrow for my copy of The Marriage Sabbatical!
The Marriage Sabbatical had such a unique plot. A couple that has been married for 23 years finds themselves ready for a 9-month trip of a lifetime through South America when Jason has a sabbatical fun work. When his wife Nicole decides this trip is his dream and she wants to learn silversmithing in Santa Fe. They decide to spend the 9 months pursuing their own dreams and include a marriage sabbatical too.
At first, I wasn't really liking this book, but I kept on reading and I'm so glad I did. This was almost a second chance romance between a couple and I loved seeing them fall in love again. I liked the emails and seeing both of their points through their adventures. It took me a little to like Nicole as a character but I loved seeing her grow and this book makes me want to go to Santa Fe now!
The idea of a marriage sabbatical is so interesting and I can see this being a great book club book or one that you want to discuss with friends, especially around the 500 mile rule. I really ended up loving this book and I can't wait to talk more with friends about it.
The Marriage Sabbatical came out this week - April 2nd.
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The Marriage Sabbatical is the story of Nicole and Jason who after twenty three years of building a life together, raising a family, and working hard in careers, find themselves at a crossroads. After a profound loss Jason decides to take a year off, sublet their home, and plans a largely off grid travel itinerary. As the day draws closer Nicole is less sure she wants to go. An unconventional agreement is made. Jason will take the trip he dreamed of, Nicole will go to Santa Fe to learn jewelry making. They institute the ‘500 mile rule’, a ‘what happens while we’re gone stays there’ policy.
Dolan does an amazing job taking us back in time to when Nicole and Jason first met, through compromises, struggles, celebrations, and loss, giving us strong insight into how they got where they are, what each may be seeking, and if they truly intend (or should) return to one another. We watch as they travel, transform, and struggle with the decision to partner with someone else. I especially loved Nicole’s Santa Fe setting, a city I adore. Dolan brings us into the local art culture, the community traditions, and we feel less a visitor and more a newly welcomed resident.
My very dear friend, Angie, is a creative that lives in Santa Fe. She’s an artist, jewelry designer, and author. Angie’s journey mirrors the main character Nicole’s, coming to the SW for rebirth, reinvention, finding her passion later in life. I was living vicariously through the main character, Nicole as she spread her wings in Santa Fe.
I highly recommend for lovers of her previous books, those that appreciate smart, thoughtful women’s fiction, and what to travel vicariously to the desert SW. If you haven’t read her previous books The Sweeney Sisters and Lost and Found In Paris I highly recommend as well!
I received an early copy from my friends at William Morrow.