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Member Reviews
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I went into Dear Wendy with high expectations. I was excited to see Asexual rep in a YA novel. Sadly I didn't end up loving Dear Wendy. To me it felt like the writing was on the younger side of YA. I almost feel like it would have been better if Sophie and Jo were written as high school students intense of college students.
I also wasn't a huge fan of Jo's character. She felt very young to me. Not at all like a college student. I get that she was trying to come to terms with her sexuality and what it means to be asexual but she seemed very juvenile. The way she treated her friends was abusive. Just because you fear being alone that is no excuse to treat your friend poorly.
I did enjoy Sophie's character. I felt like her struggle with her parents was very relatable. She also seemed like a typical college student. I even liked that she was a bit of an overzealous student.
My favorite part of the book was Sophie and Jo's budding platonic relationship. It really showed that there are many ways to love others and that romantic love doesn't need to be the end game for everyone. This part of the story really spoke to me.
Overall Dear Wendy is a cute read. While the story wasn't necessarily for me I could see it being a great read for younger asexual people coming to terms with their sexuality.
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Amy Zhao’s Dear Wendy was one of my most anticipated books of 2024. Luckily, I was able to be a part of the Bookstagram tour. You can check out my posts for the tour here. As someone who considers herself to be a spec, I was excited for Dear Wendy, as it was the first novel I’ve seen where there was an asexual and aromantic main character who was Asian. It was also interesting to read a YA novel that has many of the familiar markings and tropes of a love story, despite not being a romance between the two leads. This was refreshing, as we rarely get stories centered on friendships and platonic partnerships, as well as stories where the hate-to-love doesn’t result in the two characters hooking up. Instead, this is a warm and inviting dual POV coming-of-age story about Sophie and Jo becoming non-romantic partners. For me, it was nice to reminisce and relate to parts of both their experiences coming to terms with not being straight, aka “allosexual.” For others, Dear Wendy may provide a safe (fictional) place as various characters discuss at length what being asexual or aromantic means to them, and this may assist those who are questioning whether they may be a-spec, especially if they can recognize parts of themselves in these characters. I also loved the advice-giving aspect of this book, as both Sophie and Jo run anonymous dating advice Instagram accounts, and I appreciated seeing how, even though they’d never be able to personally relate to their classmates’ romance woes, they were resourceful and did extensive research and drew on other aspects of their lives to provide advice that was usually quite sound. However, I did find the whole subplot of the two battling each other online to be a bit over the top and juvenile. Fortunately, things were quickly deescalated and resolved once everything came out in the open. A heartwarming and low-angst story with cozy vibes that doesn’t veer into saccharine territory, Dear Wendy is the perfect exploratory read.
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Dear Wendy was an absolute delight of a book. The dual-perspective between Jo and Sophie was woven well, showing how two students' experiences at college can be both so similar and different. The becoming closer friends while secretly rivals plotline was fascinating and so much fun. With two ace characters as the leads, this title was fun to read as a break from so much romance and sex in YA fiction. Most notably, this book fills a much-needed gap in university-setting fiction, with its small college setting compared to a large university. As a reader who attended a small liberal arts college, this title was exactly what I've been looking for- it felt like I understood what the students were going through and their experiences, for once. A remarkable debut, I'm curious to see what Zhao has up her sleeve for future books!
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I love reading new LGBTQIA books and this was just the book I needed to change things up.
I don't think about aro and ace characters all that often and have not read a book with a main character that was one or both that I can think of off the top of my head. Though I have read a book or two where romance wasn't the main part of the book this gave me some different insights.
One thing I liked about the books is the addition of the Instagram questions and answers from the main characters love advice accounts. This changed up the story a bit and made it fun to read those chapters.
The fact this takes place at a all female college is a cool little side thing as well. I leave near what was the first all woman college (or so they say) and though it isn't any more that history has always been cool to me.
I didn't love our main characters all the way through the book, idk why that just didn't stand out to me as like one of my favorite characters but they did grow on me and I liked their friendship in the end.
Will definitely be checking out for books with aero and ace representation in it as well as more form this author in the future.
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3.5 stars rounded up. This was such a sweet exploration of aroace identity and joy! I would recommend this to people who aren't as familiar with aroace identities, since in some parts it felt very preach-y. As someone who is acespec and familiar with discourse, this book rehashed common discourse without adding much to it. But it served its purpose as a cute contemporary story about aroace friendship! I also read this as an audiobook and I appreciated the wide and diverse cast used.
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This book was not written very well. The writing was terrible. It was so hard to get through. The idea was great but disappointed in the execution.
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I have been wanting to read Dear Wendy since it was first announced as it’s so rare to get platonic focused stories. And even more rare for one that gives visibility to the aro ace community. As someone who went to an all-girls high school, Wellesley felt very nostalgic to me and it was interesting to see how that kind of environment differed in a college setting.
Unfortunately, Dear Wendy was an overfilled YA contemporary that leaves you feeling like you attended a socratic seminar. 99% of the plot was the characters sitting down and having tumblr level discussions with the speech pattern of a superficial gender studies student. This was a classic case of being told rather than shown. I would have preferred the characters actually experiencing things through an active plot rather than simply sitting around and having pseudo therapy sessions.
When it comes to Sophie and Jo, I really loved Jo as a character. Her insecurities and fears around her friendships and sexuality were so much more relatable to me. As someone who has also worried about my friends hating me and possibly abandoning me, I felt like I understood Jo a lot more than Sophie. Sophie being a lot more confident, while admirable, made her less relatable or interesting. If anything, I felt like Sophie was often really dismissive of her friend’s feelings. She never truly took the time to understand their perspective, she’d rather just give them advice she thought would “fix” the problem. But that’s not realistic to how friendship work, and often people just want you to listen while they vent. I felt this especially in conversations she had with Jo when Jo explained some of her insecurities with her sexuality. It felt like because Sophie had already moved past these doubts she couldn’t relate. She would cut the conversation short with advice and move on, while Jo was left still in turmoil.
I’m curious if part of my lack of connection to this book is due to how completely different I approach friendship. A lot of the plot felt unrealistic to how people truly talk and interact in person. Deeply disappointed that I did not enjoy this more! It was wonderful to see aro ace rep and a diverse cast filled with sapphic characters. I hope we get more platonic stories in the future.
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where do I even begin with this book?! It felt like a band-aid for my aroace heart- a book I didn’t even realize I was yearning for! It’s safe to say, I’m head over heels for this book; it’s officially earned a spot among my all-time favorites. And you bet I’ll be rereading it time and time again!
This book resonated with me on so many levels, from delving into the aroace experience of the main characters to exploring gender identity and navigating through various doubts, it touched upon themes that hit close to home. The way it tackled these topics with such care and depth truly impressed me
The portrayal of different family dynamics was thoughtfully done, offering insights into various perspectives towards a-spec people
Watching the characters grow, and learn to trust themselves was an absolute joy.
The format of the book, with its posts and messages, added an extra layer of charm to the story. And those chapter titles? Pure genius! I couldn’t get enough of them. Plus, the short chapters and dual perspectives gave the narrative such depth and richness
Sophie stole my heart, I couldn’t help but relate to her, especially since I see a lot of myself in her - probably because I’m such a “Wendy” too! Her relationship with her sister struck a chord with me, echoing my own experiences with my siblings
And Jo? They’re just incredible - funny, smart, and grappling with existential crises in a way that hits close to home. I found myself nodding along with so many of their struggles
The relationship between Sophie and Jo was simply heartwarming. They complemented each other so beautifully, but it wasn’t just the central duo that captured my heart; the friendships and connections they formed with others were equally heartening. Seeing the love and support they received from their friends was truly special and added another layer of depth to the story
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I really enjoyed Dear Wendy. It was fun, sweet and I really appreciated the ace-spec representation. I did find their college experience hard to relate to and therefore found the chapters that addressed campus culture and politics fairly uninteresting. I will still recommend it to teens looking for books with realistic and positive queer and asexual representation.
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I really, really liked this! It's very easy to read, heartwarming, fun, and I just looooooved the aromantic and asexual representation. This is YA, but the characters didn't read young and they felt like real people just navigating their sexuality and trying to understand their own identity. They felt appropriately mature for their age and I get so excited when that happens because it's not always the case with YA. The bar is lowwwwww.
I particularly loved the insights this provided about the aroace experience and I do think I'm leaving this book with a better understanding of it. I imagine this will be very, very helpful for young aroace people who want to see themselves and their experiences represented in fiction.
Like I said, I really liked this book. It's consistent with its messaging so this isn't a romance, but the characters do develop a lovely bond and the kind of connection I imagine aroace people seek to find in their lifetime. Overall, a great read!
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This is probably one of the best contemporary debuts of the year, a not-love story between two aromantic and asexual women. Beautiful
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I didn't know anything about this book and I ended up really loving it! We need more ace rep in fiction and I loved the relationships between all of the characters.
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Dear Wendy is about two asexual, aromantic college freshman who run feuding anonymous advice Instagram accounts while also becoming real-life besties. It's a really fun premise, and the representation is important and needed. One of the characters uses she/they pronouns and goes on a bit of a self-discovery journey with gender, while being secure in their identity as an aroace person. This is one of the best parts of the book. These characters know exactly who they are in regards to romantic attraction, and they tell us so at the start of the book. This representation will be so valuable for young readers who feel they fall on the asexual spectrum. I also loved the college setting and it did bring up some intense nostalgia.
My one issue with this is small, and is something I think is typical of writers' debuts, which is how explain-y it felt at times. Sometimes the dialogue felt like an essay on being a-spec and not the normal way two teens would speak about their identity. Still, the author delivered valuable info in these moments. I just think it could've been more natural.
Overall, this was a really lovely story about platonic soulmates, and it fills some gaps in the YA space. It's fun while being important, and hope Ann Zhao has more YA works coming soon!
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Dear Wendy by Ann Zhao is about Sophie and Jo. They become friends during their Women and Gender Studies course at Wellesley College, where they discover they are both aromatic and asexual. What they do not know is that they are also online rivals through their Instagram accounts Dear Wendy and Dear Wanda. College life drama ensues!
I appreciate the ACE representation. This book will be the world to those who feel seen in its pages. It does a great job of breaking down what it means to be ACE, and I feel like I learned. However, after a while the book just felt bogged down by way too much conversation. Whether in class, the dorm rooms, or in their club The Dianas discourse is constantly happening. It began to feel like I was in their WGST class with them getting ready to write my own report. By the end I was having trouble staying in the story. I also felt like an outsider looking in on their life at Wellesley College. It felt like not being in on the inside joke of the whole Wendy/Wanda conflict. Which in and of itself was eye rolling. If I were Sophie, I would have blocked the account and ignored the clear comments that were rage baiting. The whole feud was silly. It is like one of the commenters said, “… they hate each other so much for like no reason???”
Jo is selfish through most of the book. They do not want their friends to date because they do not want to be alone. While not wanting to be alone is a valid feeling, working against your friends’ romantic interests are icky. They say things like, “I just don’t want my friends to date anyone. I don’t really know why. But they can’t” and “I don’t know is Katy likes Lianne. But there’s no way. The whole idea of Lianne being in a relationship is ridiculous to me-doesn’t matter who its with.”
While I liked Sophie more than Jo, Sophie does not get a pass. She was a pretty crappy friend to her friends as well. It got to the point where Priya had to call Sophie out for being on her phone too much obsessing with Wanda’s posts and comments. When asked if she treats Jo the same way Sophie says no to which Priya responds with, “Just because we’ve been friends with you longer doesn’t mean we deserve less respect.” Girl yes. While I would be glad to see the “Wendy/Wanda” feud fizzle out I do hope Sophie keep up her account. Her reason for creating Dear Wendy was ultimately noble. She never really got back answers to her questions about identity in a satisfactory manner. So, she tries to be for others what she needed. She stays up to date on self-help relationship literature and becomes a “repository of dating advice” for others even if dating is not something of interested.
I will end here on a positive note. I loved how the focus of the book was overall on friendships and platonic love, despite the background dating drama of roommates. I agree with what was said in the books that there should be more stories for teens that focus on friendships and that friendship breakups are hard and not discussed enough. They do indeed suck.
Thank you Netgalley for an e-arc of this book in exchange for an honest review. This will be going on my list of books to recommend even though I thought it was just okay.
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What are you reading this weekend?
I just finished reading Dear Wendy by @annzhao_, which earned a five-star rating from me! Today is my stop on @coloredpagesbt’s bookstagram tour celebrating Dear Wendy’s upcoming release date! Dear Wendy will be coming out this Tuesday, April 16th, from @fiercereads and you won’t want to miss out on this fabulous asexual and aromantic young adult debut novel!
Dear Wendy is an aromantic, asexual love story about the beautiful love that exists between best friends. Though I read as many books with ace-spec representation as I can find, I haven’t read a book quite like this one before. Mixed into the funny, original plot was plenty of thoughtful exploration of what it means to be aromantic, asexual, or on the ace spectrum. Sophie and Jo were compelling protagonists, and their love story will stay with me for a long time!
There were a lot of very specific references to Wellesley College that I likely wouldn’t have understood, but the author did a great job establishing situational context by explaining the campus setting. As it is, I feel as though some part of me has now visited this school, given how integral the setting is to the plot of Dear Wendy.
Also, I need to comment on how much I adore the cover art for Dear Wendy! The use of the ace and aro pride flags as a color scheme for the art is a subtle and beautiful nod to the book’s representation. The cover art was illustrated by @betsy.cola and designed by @jbianchi_illustrations- I’m officially obsessed with both of their accounts!
My Recommendation:
If you love contemporary YA novels and want to read more books with aroace representation, grab a copy of Dear Wendy! This book was a funny, quick, and enjoyable read!
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This is the book, I wish I had growing up. As I was reading, it made me feel seen as no book has before, it was so relatable in a way no other book has been and it made me feel so valid and understood. This truly felt like a love letter to aroace people, and it was amazing seeing a beautiful friendship centered story.
I love how it uses so many romcom elements but in a platonic way, and how it is a love story and introduces queer platonic relationships. Dear Wendy was so fun to read, there were some chapter that made me laugh out loud, but it was also so introspective at a times, it was like I was reading some of the thoughts I’ve had in all these years since I figured that I was a-spec like the MCs.
This is such an especial book that will leave you feeling warm, loved and welcomed, no matter what you identify as there is a character that is relatable in this book, and I loved the dynamics and found family aspect of it. Combining an entertaining Instagram feud, the friendships and dramas of a liberal college, this book was a delight to read.
With its short chapters and fast pace you will devour this book. It’s the perfect love story for when you are looking for one that is different from all the rest. And let’s start a petition because we need more friendship books!
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As an ace reader (although not aroace) I loved this book. Although I think we’re seeing it a little more, it’s still hard to find books that don’t center romance, and harder still to find book with accurate ace representation.
It’s hard to put into typed words why I liked this book, it can be so hard to explain to people the joys and necessity of platonic love, I think this book could be a great gateway to that, as well as resonating with readers who already understand. This book is a great example of a mirror and window (per Dr. Ruidine Sims Bishop)!
I’ve already purchased this book for my library and I’m loving sharing it with readers!
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Another perfectly fine novel that really didn't hook me! I don't think this is a bad book, it just didn't work for me. Again, since I didn't love it and queer fiction is a hardsell at my store, this isn't something I'm likely to stock for us. I do love the concept though! This is the first asexuality focused novel I've ever seen, and I'm thrilled to see more ace representation in literature.
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Listen, I love a good queer romance story, but you know what I think I might love more? The complexity and understanding that this book has towards AroAce love stories. full send.
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I loved this book. I have always wanted a platonic love story that celebrates the connection between friends, and this is it!
While the writing at times is a little clunky, the emotion of the story and the relationships between all the characters makes up for it. It is sincere, gentle, and shows the wonder, love and complexities of the friendships, familial relationships, and romantic relationships that surround Jo and Sophie. The relationship between Jo and Sophie made me grin, laugh and cry. They compliment and constant each other so well. Seeing two best friends be each other's person, while also having a wonderful support system around them was so beautiful to see.
Thank you Netgalley and the publishers for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.