Thank you Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group and NetGalley for granting me access to an eARC of this fantastic book!

Firstly, this book is one of my favorite things I’ve read in a while. I don’t read enough books with aroace characters and I loved getting to do that here.

Zhao discusses lots of important topics in this book ranging from the way that society makes it more difficult for aromantic people to exist with the expectation that everyone is supposed to find their one true love and live happily ever after which just isn’t true. Zhao also discusses the way that children of immigrants can have a hard time dealing with parental expectations and their own desire to make their parents happy even if that means hiding pieces of themselves for their approval.

This book was really well done. The dual point of view was perfect for this story because of the social media rivalry. The small details about the college culture that get included throughout the book reminded me of my days at my undergrad, not because I went to the school in the book (I didn’t), but because I think a lot of colleges have that special language that only students know about. That part is probably going to trigger some nostalgia in non-teen readers.

I love that one of the big themes of the book is forgiveness: forgiving yourself for not being perfect, forgiving your friends for hurting you on purpose, forgiving them for hurting you not on purpose. I also love that Sophie and Jo get to experience that feeling you get when you find a friend who really understands a piece of you that nobody else understands and that they take that feeling and turn it into something actionable. They start an a-spec club so other a-spec students on campus can share that with them.

This is a very hopeful book and I recommend it to anyone who enjoys stories about friendship and self-acceptance!

Check this book out on April 16!

5 out of 5 stars.

This book is exactly what it's advertized as- a platonic love story (key here platonic), an online enemies situation, and two college students just trying to figure themselves out. This gives Alice Osman Loveless vibes so if you like that, you'll love this. This is aro/ace queer representation, BIPOC representation, and found family. This is a book that so many young adults will be able to relate to, help shape themselves, and identify themselves. This is incredibly powerful and I cannot wait to see this blow up and change the young adults of this next generation. This book will be so widely loved.

The only reason I'm not giving this 5 stars is because I felt it was a little long and being someone who isn't aromantic nor asexual, I wasn't able to relate to this the same way that other people will. Still a solid 4.5 stars though- 100% would recommend it to all.

"People choose, every day, to be lovers, to be friends, to be family."
Love is more than just a romantic attraction. Love is how you feel for your friends, your family, and the people in your life that you care about. Yes, some people choose to have romantic relationships, but not having one or wanting one doesn't make you less than or wrong. This lesson is a hard one to learn but is one that the author really pushes to teach in this book. My identity is not aro/ace, but this is a book that I learned from and helped make me more confident in who I am. Whether I am in a relationship or not, I am a confident and strong person and a relationship doesn't define me. Thank you for reminding me of that <3

I wasn’t all that invested in the book or the characters, but I did enjoy it for the most part.

Reading this book on my Kindle left me completely unaware of how long the book actually was. I genuinely felt like it could be 600 pages or more. The story felt so incredibly long while nothing was really happening. I was waiting and waiting for the big reveal only to find it to be a letdown. There were so many chapters, descriptions, and sentences that could have been cut and the story would have been the same.

I also found that constant references to other YA books a bit repetitive. While it was fun to decipher which books were being referenced, I can’t help but question what it added to the story.

What the book does really well is provide experiences of aspec youth! I always love reading about characters on the asexual spectrum because experiences can vary greatly. It is wonderful to see representation for aspec readers. I also appreciated that all the aspec characters were in different places in their life, acceptance, understanding or just showed different placements on the spectrum.

My favorite part of the book was reading Dear Wendy or Wanda posts and banter. I really liked the idea of anonymous advice columns and I think it was an interesting plot for the book. I just wish the big reveal was a bit more exciting or realistic.

Overall, the book was enjoyable but felt painfully long and a bit cheesy.

Sophie has been running an anonymous advice account for months. It's pretty famous on her college scene. But then someone makes a counter account, and it's very unserious and Sophie takes it as an attack, a mockery. And so the two start an online feud. Little does she know that this account is run by fellow aroace and fast friend Jo.

I had a great great great time reading this. Loved the rep, the talks, the lectures, the whole college setting. I love the petty Instagram drama and the friendships and the friendship drama.
I loved the main characters, both points of view were just as compelling and captivating. I was sucked in from beginning to end. I also loved the little screenshot and text post of both accounts. This was simply great from start to finish.
I honestly could not recommend this more. It's one of my favorite debuts ever. I loved it so much. I can't wait for more books by Ann Zhao. This book has just made her an auto-buy author for me.

I will wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone, let's start with that, I've never read a book about aro-ace identities ( I fall into the a-spec ) that has made me feel so seen and safe.
Ann Zhao was able to create a book filled with so much love, warmth and acceptance that it filled my heart with joy. Through out the book I was nodding at stuff, relating to and adoring these characters. Sophie and Jo are two characters that I never knew I needed.
The writing was fun, fast-paced and enjoyable, and the story was wholesome like one big bear hug. I hope it reaches people who will relate to it, who will feel seen and heard by it and will realise they aren't alone and so many a-spec people face the same thing and won't feel so alone.

Thank you, NetGalley and Feiwel and Friends, for providing me with an ARC for this book!

I truly appreciated the diversity and representation present in this book, which encompassed race, sexual and romantic orientation, and family backgrounds. It is crucial for readers who are underrepresented to feel included and this book definitely delivered for aroace readers. It was so interesting to learn about the intersectionality of identities and how that impacts the experiences of people who are a-spec. Through this book, I gained a deeper understanding of the myths and realities surrounding the a-spec identity.

The characters were very well-developed, each with their own stories, which made them feel like real people. While I found myself relating to Sophie's character, I struggled to warm up to Jo, especially considering that Jo initiated their online feud by being unnecessarily rude to Sophie. I believe it would have been more compelling if their conflict stemmed from a disagreement rather than from initial hostility. The online drama and exchanges between them felt somewhat childish. At times in the beginning, I also found the dialogue very monotonous and a bit stunted. However, as the online feud began to subside, I found myself more drawn to the story as the platonic love between Sophie and Jo began to develop in real life.

Overall, this book felt like a breath of fresh air and Ann Zhao did an excellent job at illustrating inclusivity through her characters. I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone interested in a narrative that explores themes of friendships and familial relationships, especially from the perspectives of people who are aroace.

i want to preface this by saying i spent 368 pages making fun of the college thinking it was a made up one to realise, when reading the acknowledgements, that it is, in fact, a real college in america. so. how's your day going?

i had really high expectations for dear wendy, because duh!!! aroace contemporary? sign me up! i want to read more books that have a-spec main characters. unfortunately the book didn't exactly reach my expectations.

let's start with the positive: the aroace rep was amazing and it's definitely the best aspect of the book. it was why i chose to read this book in the first place so im really glad to say that it was really good. i loved the discussions around the aroace identities and what it's like to exist in a world that is predominantly allo. i loved the discussions around the different micro-identities (we meet several characters who are demisexual, or a-spec and pan for example!) and how being a-spec doesn't stop you from being in a romantic and/or sexual relationship. i think not enough medias talk about this and it was refreshing to see. the friendship between jo and sophie was really cute: i felt seen when they both realised they weren't alone and that they had found someone else who was aroace. i know the feeling lol and it's SUCH a good feeling to finally have someone to talk to. im glad they found eachother. the progression of their friendship into what will most likely be a queerplatonic relationship later was also sooo wholesome and it made me really happy to read that. THE WORLD NEEDS MORE MEDIAS WITH QPR!!!!

now with the things that bothered me. i am so sorry to say that but the feud between wendy and wanda was SO STUPID 😭😭😭. it was ridiculous tbh and i wont lie it did take me out a bit of the story. i know they're 18 years old but come onnnnn. who has the energy to have a petty online feud IN COLLEGE (no one. we're all drowning). because of that, i found both jo and sophie a bit childish at times and i was annoyed by it. this made the third act "break up"/disagreement a bit... annoying id say? obviously we all knew jo and sophie would find out about their hidden identities as wanda and wendy but their reasons to be mad at each other were a bit petty/ridiculous imo.
and also, i am SO SORRY, but i can't take a college that had a lecture on attractiveness seriously.

i would recommend this book to everyone who is a-spec and wants a cute platonic relationship between two characters tho. when i say we need more medias with a-spec characters, especially aroace characters and queer platonic relationships, i mean it.

Thank you to Netgalley for sending me an eARC of this book!

a heartfelt story that made me SOB on my plane ride, dear wendy encapsulates all the wonderful things within young adult novels: the complexity of belonging, finding your own place, and charming characters, all the while also introducing necessary contemporary themes of BIPOC and queer experiences at PWIs, navigating spaces that weren’t made for you, and amplifying voices through the power of stories and experiences.

**Thank you to NetGalley and Feiwel and Friends/Macmillan Publishing Group for this ARC in exchange for an honest review**

First off, this book is PACKED with rep (listed in each category in order of significance to the story):

Asian : Sophie Chi, Izzy Sun, Ashley Jeong, Sue Chen, Oliver (half)
Black : Lianne Butler
Indian : Priya Chakrabarti
Latinx : Alicia Flores, Charlie Santos, Lily Reyes, Oliver (half)

Jewish: Becky Ephron

Neurodivergent: Charlie Santos

A-spec rep:

Aroace: Sophie Chi, Jo Ephron
Aromantic : Evelyn Dawson
Demiromantic : Charlie Santos
Demisexual : Izzy Sun
*Hannah Rizzo mentions she is cishet ace.

Other LGBTQIA rep :

Bisexual : Alicia Flores, Katy Murphy
Lesbian : Priya Chakrabarti, Lianne Butler, Dr. Lisa Fineman, Evelyn
Dawson, Becky Ephron, Melissa Ephron, Abby Chi
Non-binary: Charlie Santos
Pansexual: Charlie Santos


At Wellesley, you’re either a Wendy (studious, serious) or a Wanda (relaxed, fun). Two students there have taken it upon themselves to start love advice accounts on Instagram after trying to help their friends. Dear Wendy (@dearwendywellesley) prides themselves on giving actual advice, while Sincerely, Wanda (@wandawellesley69) is just having a good time with their responses. 90% of Wendy’s answers are just to communicate better with the other people involved, while 90% of Wanda’s answers are just to break up already.

Sophie Chi, the one behind Dear Wendy is a bespectacled Chinese American girl from Chicago, Illinois, who always wears her hair up because she thinks it makes people take her more seriously. She runs every day at 7 am, likes Taylor Swift, and doesn’t believe in Alice, the ghost that supposedly haunts the 4th floor dorms.
Sophie is aroace, and does a lot of research for her Dear Wendy responses due to her lack of personal experience with romantic relationships. She has previously read romance novels and self-help books, and considered taking another Women & Gender Studies class to help too. She feels as though being aroace is beneficial because it allows her to see problems more objectively and give better advice as a result.

However, not being able to relate to romantic love does have its drawbacks. Sophie was best friends with her neighbor, a guy named Oliver. Once he got into a relationship with his boyfriend, he stopped talking to her and their friendship ended. This changed her view of men, because he was her model of a good guy, before everything shattered. It led her to believe that no matter how much of a best friend she was to someone, their romantic partner will always matter more. Lucky for her, her roommate, Priya, and Priya’s girlfriend, Izzy, never make her feel that way.

She is the oldest daughter, and has a 14-year-old sister named Abby (Yuanyuan in Chinese). Her parents (nurse practitioner dad, Bowen & accountant mom, Ying) are immigrants from Communist China who are close-minded about a lot of things. They believe that Sophie’s sexuality is a choice, and are hoping she will get married and have kids just as those before her did. They pressured her about going to an Ivy League college, and were pretty disappointed when she didn’t get into any of them. Where they came from, education was the key to upward mobility and a better life; the better the college, the better her job and life later. Her mother did find out that Sophie could attend MIT classes through a program at Wellesley, and started trying to get her to do that too, saying she might even find a nice boy. As if her choice of school wasn’t bad enough, her mother also believes that the things she is majoring in (psychology and women & gender studies) are made up and pointless.


Joanna “Jo” Olivia Ephron from Natick, Massachusetts is behind the other account, Sincerely, Wanda. She is also aroace, although she is still unsure about her gender identity. She is majoring in sociology, DJs a radio show every Sunday morning for WZLY Wellesley 91.5 FM, and does theater.

Being aroace often makes her feel lonely, like she will always be going through life alone without anyone else’s help. She doesn’t have many friends, and always had trouble making them. In high school, people were always coming in and out of her circle, and it was all because of romantic relationships. She often thinks people actually hate her. Now in college, she is growing more and more concerned about her roommates, Katy and Lianne, dating in general, or possibly each other because it is clear that Lianne has a crush on Katy. This would throw off the whole dynamic, causing Jo to inevitably just be forgotten.

Jo has two moms, Melissa (Mom) and Becky (Mama). Melissa’s brother provided the sperm to create her, and Mama carried her. Her parents are completely supportive and have shown her a love worth yearning for in her own life. However, being aroace, that will most likely never be something that happens. She also has a 12-year-old brother named Theodore Henry Ephron.


Sophie and Jo meet because they have an intro to Women & Gender Studies class together, and end up being partners for a project. They become friends, bonding over being aroace. They even start an a-spec club, the Wellesley Dianas. What neither of them knows is that the other is behind the opposing love advice Instagram account. When a friend accidentally exposes one of their identities, their friendship crumbles. Will they be able to rebuild?

There are also a lot of important topics discussed:

-Jo mentions that romantic relationships complicate friendships, especially when they end. I can relate to this firsthand. I once had a best friend who basically forgot about me after she got a boyfriend because she spent all of her time with him. However, I suddenly existed again when she needed a shoulder to cry on after things went wrong. At the same time, Sophie brings up that nobody really talks about breaking up with a friend. It can be just as devastating as the end of a romantic relationship. She was friends with Oliver for 16 years.

-Sophie’s parents put a lot of pressure on her, and don’t accept her school, her major, or her identity as a whole. Parents need to understand that their children are not them. They don’t want the same things, and don’t think the same way. I think if you are going to be a parent, you need to be able to accept your child however they are. Don't try to mold them into you, or the version of them you wish they were.

-There is still such a lack of ace rep in media. It can be hard to understand what you may be feeling if you don't have the words for it. If no one else seems to be experiencing it, you may feel alone, or that something is wrong with you that needs to be fixed. Having more ace movies and stories can show that there is a life outside romance and sex, and it's beautiful.

-There are people who don't see asexuality as a queer identity.

-Purity culture still exists, and it is harmful. Jo says, "Kinda f****d up how in our society, you're a prude if you don’t have sex, and a whore if you do." (quote from unpublished version).

-Social media is double edged sword. It is all about how you choose to engage with it.

All in all, this is a story about philia. Love comes in many forms, and all are valid.

Before I get into my thoughts, I would like to thank Ann Zhao. Thank you, Ann Zhao, for writing this story. As an aroace Asian-American, I never thought I would have the chance the read and review a story so close to my own. I cried when I saw this book. I cried while reading. Then I cried while writing my review. Dear Wendy makes me feel like my experience matters, like I matter. I am so happy and so honored to have been an advanced reader of Dear Wendy.

Okay. Now that I have my tears somewhat under control, let's talk about this book.

Contrary to other reviewers, I am such a fan of the niche setting. I am aware that women's colleges are not perfect, but Wellesley seems like a safer place to explore sexuality and gender.

The inclusion of various a-spec identities absolutely warms my heart. In addition to Sophie and Jo, there are so many aromatic or asexual side characters. Not every a-spec person has the same experience. I love that this book spotlights diversity within the a-spec community.

This book touches on several complex topics, but it still feels like YA. At times, there's this aura of immaturity / insecurity that is typical with the early college experience, like the feud.

That being said, I think that the feud between Wendy and Wanda dragged on for too long. I am a fairly conflict-averse person. Watching these two argue on social media made me uncomfortable.

Speaking of the feud, in this book, both main characters run a romantic advice column on Instagram. There are "screenshots" of the posts in the book, which is such a fun addition. The visuals make this a more immersive read.
However, I read a digital version of Dear Wendy on my phone. The "screenshots" are almost too small to be fully appreciated. This is not a criticism, but I do not recommend reading this book on your phone. This is just something to keep in mind when you go to pick up a copy.

All in all, Dear Wendy is a must read. I will forever recommend this book to other people. Like you! After you read this review, go get a copy of Dear Wendy.

Bottom line: This book made me an emotional mess.

DEAR WENDY by Ann Zhao is an upcoming release about two aroace (aromantic and asexual) college freshman who become friends, even as they antagonize each other through their anonymous advice accounts on Instagram.

It's not a romance, but it is a love story. A platonic love story, about friendship and belonging. It's definitely YA, with a lot of exploration and explanation of queer identities and experiences. It's a great option for anyone who thinks they might be a-spec, or just wants to read a story about meaningful friendships without the characters being in a romantic relationship.

3.5 ★ Dear Wendy is a breath of fresh air, especially because a lot of books published recently often prioritize romantic relationships and physical attraction. This book shows that love does not have to be limited to romance, and that there is beauty in all kinds of love. If you're looking for a novel centering on community, friendship, and belonging with a diverse cast of characters and an authentic college experience, Dear Wendy is the book for you.

The reason why I’m giving this book 3.5 stars is because I found some moments in the book to be a bit overdramatic and childish, especially for college students. I also felt like some of the dialogue and pop culture references felt a bit forced.

As an aromantic asexual, Sophie Chi has come to terms with never falling in love. However, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t enjoy talking about it. As a freshman at Wellesley College, she runs an Instagram account offering relationship advice to other students.

On the other hand, Jo created her advice-based Instagram account purely as a joke. But the account sparks an online feud between the two accounts. Despite their online feud, Jo and Sophie start to grow closer in real life. Bonding over the fact that they’re both aromantic and asexual, with similar interests. But what happens when they find out the truth about each other’s online presence?

Thanks to NetGalley and Feiwel & Friends for an advanced copy of Dear Wendy by Ann Zhao to review! I love that we’re slowly getting more aromantic and asexual representation in YA lit. Also love a book that focuses on a platonic friendship rather than a romance. If you ask me, we need more of those kinds of books in the world!

The way that Jo and Sophie’s friendship develops in this book feels so realistic, especially for being set in the first year of college. They initially bond over their class, but eventually realize they have a lot more in common. Tension is created in the fact that as readers, we know they’re feuding, but they don’t know that. I think it makes the book feel less plot driven, but I absolutely didn’t mind that.

Though eventually, there is a pretty big cast of side characters, it didn’t feel like it took away from Jo and Sophie as characters. Jo and Sophie both had roommates that felt fully developed and added to the overall tension happening throughout the book. My only complaint is that sometimes, Sophie and Jo’s voices sounded too similar, and I would forget which character’s point of view I was in. They had distinct personalities, but their voices would definitely blend together at times.

However, teens will definitely be drawn to the fact that this focuses more on friendship than romance; often, the focus is on the fact that people don’t need to be in romantic relationships to be happy. When romance and romantic relationships are such a heavy focus in our society, it is honestly a breath of fresh air.

If you’re looking for a platonic, friendship love story, definitely pick this one up when it comes out in April!

i feel so warm inside!! there's so much heart and love in this book that as a reader i literally could feel it in my bones!! it's about community, friendship, and being aroace. please put it on your tbrs because i only have love for this fun, heartfelt and important novel!!
PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT! I felt like I was getting the warmest hug this whole read

ann zhao is such an excellent writer! this is such a wonderful book to devour all in one sitting. it is a great character and dialogue heavy novel that helps show the ace experience. i think it's fantastic to have this representation in books. all of the characters were so well shaped and diverse. it was funny and relatable and just adorable. i love platonic love

This is a book that young adults *need*. In this story, friendship is front-and-center, while love — in more forms than just romantic — is its heart.

I got sucked into Sophie and Jo's college life very quickly as well as their Wendy/Wanda beef lol. I loved how very *college* this book (which obviously makes sense, since it's set on Wellesley's campus). I wanted to know how Sophie and Jo's Wendy/Wanda rivalry progressed/was resolved; I wanted to sit with them as they talked about being asexual (and their differing experiences with being ace-spec); I even wanted to be there while they took their classes! (See, I'm definitely a Wendy.)

A book that doesn't talk down to teens/young adults, but rather is one that talks *with* them — and, most importantly, *listens* — DEAR WENDY is an absolute must-read!

Oh, and I'm definitely a Wendy (with a smattering of Wanda's humor) :)

This book had me sobbing from queer joy. This was, believe it or not, the first aroace story I have read, and it was everything I have ever wanted/needed. For starters I love Jo and Sophie, and related so hard to the both of them. They felt so incredibly real to me, with their fears and insecurities and passions and relationships. For Jo, I truly understood her struggles with gender identity and accepting their aroace identities, and their feelings of anxiety and inadequacy. I loved that by the end of the book she was more confident in herself. As for Sophie, I loved how confident she was in herself from the start, but I also deeply understood how it was rooted in a lack of acceptance from her family, with whom she had a complex relationship. I admired her strength so much. In both Jo and Sophie I adored their friendships, both with each other and with the side characters There was also so much queer rep in the side characters which was amazing. As for the plot, it was pretty lighthearted, composed of mostly the journey of self discovery and growth for Jo and Sophie, and of course their online rivalry. There was a perfect mix of funny, lighthearted moments, and deeper, more emotional scenes. I loved everything that happened over the course of the book, but most of all the love letter, which is Austen worthy. It made for a great conclusion to Jo and Sophie’s first year of college and this story. Overall, I highly recommend this book and it is definitely an all time favorite for me.

This was such a cute read! I’ve never read anything like this before. A platonic love story between two humans, Jo and Sophie, who identify as aromatic and asexual. When they end up working on a group project and become friends they don’t realize they’re also fighting online using anonymous profiles. Growing up is hard so when you meet people in college who become your people and get who you are it’s the best feeling. Definitely a must read for people who love YA or are looking to diversify their reading.

4.5/5.

i absolutely loved this book! it's such a refreshing platonic love story that was equally moving and funny. as an asian aroace girl who goes to college in america, i immediately knew i had to read this. i had really high expectations because this is one of my most anticipated reads of the year, and it did not disappoint. i really wished i had this growing up.

i loved all the characters, but most especially sophie and jo; it's great to see a book with not one, but two aroace main characters. they each represented me in such different ways, and gave two different but intersecting points of view on being aroace that were both relatable. another thing i found refreshing was that these two characters, but especially sophie, never hated themselves for being the way they are (which, believe me, happens in more aspec media than i wished). the struggles they faced were very real and made me tear up multiple times, but their self-doubts never got to the point of melodrama and lingering self-hatred, and i think the fact that they both established their fears and worries without being harsh on aspec identities really strengthened the themes of the book. i could ramble on about this forever. it was so relieving to see aroace characters who didn't hate themselves, oh my god.

i also really appreciate that not every single struggle was resolved! some conflicts just came, the characters dealt with it, then it went. or they processed their feelings with each other, and the conflict didn't magically fix itself overnight — especially with family views. i loved how realistic it was and i'm really thankful nothing fell into place miraculously. and the friendships felt so integral to all of it, even dynamics outside of the main sophie-jo friendship. it actually made me so emotional that i ended up crying and thinking about my own friends the entire last maybe 25% of the book.

i do have to say that while the writing style was very easy to follow, a lot of the aspec/queer terminology or discussion points were not that subtle, and sometimes it felt really obvious when the author was trying to explain something to the audience. i didn't mind it, it was funny to notice, but some people might want to keep that in mind.

but!! i totally recommend it. this is probably my top 1 recommendation for aspec media right now — not that there's a lot of competition, but hey, this book is a step forward. i feel so happy thinking about all the young aspecs who might come across this book, it makes me feel oddly proud of the author even if i don't know her personally. anyway please read this book especially if you love platonic love stories and think your friends are neat.

Dear Wendy by Ann Zhao was easily 5 stars. The way platonic relationships were at the very front and center of this book was truly delightful.
Both main characters are aroace (aromantic-asexual) and it makes me happy to have found out about another book with that representation. I'm even more greatful to have been given the opportunity to read and avanced copy. The majority of the characters in this book are queer (yay!) and it's done in a really nice way of showing how not all queer people have the same experiences.
Ann's writing was so compelling and I never wanted to stop reading. There were funny scenes (the Wendy and Wanda accounts banter👀) as well as some that were more deep and sentimental.
Everyone should add this to their upcoming releases tbr!!!

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me an e-arc of Dear Wendy. All thoughts and feelings are my own.