Okay, so, maybe I should have listened to an interview with the author before picking this book up. I know so little about TV and movies (especially horror) that a huge portion of this book was completely lost on me. Mississippi Masala was the only movie I’ve actually seen. The Walking Dead, Lost, Madmen, and some others should be required viewing as well to really appreciate some sections of the book.
Of course, I did live through the same time period in America that she describes. Her take as a brown college student then partner to a black man gives her a unique perspective that I appreciated hearing.
I took to heart her message towards the end of the book - talk to your parents! There really should be a manual for this sort of thing and it’s not so easy as just handing them a tri-fold brochure with some catchy graphics and calling it job done.
Overall, it’s a good quick read - mostly memoir as she struggles to recapture the mental health challenges that plagued her teen years, her supportive, loving and racist family, and her biracial relationship in a society that only values white lives and white on white love. The time jumping was a bit confusing for me. I, personally, would have preferred a more focused narrative with specific sections of the book focusing on specific themes or a more linear time format.

I was intrigued by the synopsis but unfortunately the author’s writing style isn’t for me and I decided to DNF. Thank you to the publisher for the free ebook to review.

3.5 stars. Thank you to Net Galley and Penguin Press for the ARC in exchange for my honest review. This memoir/essay collection touches on several subjects related to race, love, history, and pop culture. She starts with her own live - her love story with her partner, Quincy, who is black and the author being South Asian and touches on her early life in suburbia in which is encountered caste, colorism and mental health issues. She also looks at TV and movies and how Asian and Black characters are portrayed and the murder of Vincent Chin. I appreciated her perspective and learning of another person's experiences in America, especially the idea of allyship.

This was a great book! I very much enjoyed it and I look forward to reading the author’s next work! Thanks to NetGalley for the review copy.

From the outset, Sharma's depiction of her relationship with her Black husband felt unsettling at times. Throughout the book, I sensed a pervasive silence around her husband's experiences and a discomfort with engaging deeply with his Blackness beyond her own viewpoint of allyship. I found it interesting that she didn’t explore aspects of Colorism being that her husband is a very fair black man who most would probably assume is biracial. Not to mention how colorism has played a huge part historically and socially in both Black and Asian communities. This further caught my attention when she brought up the Loving Virginia case being that it was a white man with a black woman that was very fair and how passing was prevalent at the time. It made me wonder about her husband’s relationship with race and how he was navigating their marriage. As a Virginia resident and a black women, I always think how different that case may have been had she been a darker skinned black women. Reading this, I felt the same. How different would their story have been if Quincy blackness wasn’t something others felt they could mute. (Ex: the hair cutting)

While some themes are well-fleshed out and thought-provoking, such as her exploration of historical injustices and societal complexities, others feel less explored or fall short of deeper engagement. It was unfortunate to read how she sometimes ignored evident issues within her topics, such as her comparison involving Glenn from "The Walking Dead." While the character of Glenn, portrayed by Steven Yeun, was laudably devoid of many Asian stereotypes, his story arc was simultaneously a play the model minority and his proximity to whiteness. The majority of that Glenn’s story revolves around a white women, and his ability to be likable, blend in, and loyal. It’s too late when Glenn’s characters starts to be explored that he is killed off. Though like many fans who only missed Glenn in death, Sharma's glorification of Glenn's assimilated character ignores his contrast with other characters of color and the broader context of systemic erasure faced by Asian representation. This comparison between a fictional character and a real-life tragedy, like the death of Vincent Chin, didn't resonate well due to its complexity IMO.

Sharma's portrayal of her relationship with her Black husband, although touching on important issues, sometimes lacks the depth needed to fully confront the nuances of interracial dynamics and identity. Sharma’s familial dynamic was also troublesome. Not in a way that isn’t common, but uncomfortable in a way that felt unfortunate to read. She seemed to rely more on silence than active defense of her Black husband.

Despite these shortcomings, "The Way You Make Me Feel" serves as a testament to Sharma's commitment to activism and her willingness to engage in these critical conversations about race and love.

A moving memoir covering a multitude of powerful topics. Thank you NetGalley and Penguin Press for sending this ARC for review consideration. All opinions are my own.

Such a raw and beautiful book. I liked the dual POV story. It was powerful and thought provoking. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.