Mixed feelings on this one prevent me from giving it more stars, but it was still worth the read.

Full review:

[T] he gods who govern our affairs Arrange them unpredictably: What we expect does not occur, For some god always finds a way To bring about the unforeseen. —EURIPIDES’ MEDEA, SUNG BY THE WOMEN OF CORINTH p4

Three (or more) things I loved:

1. I adore how unromantic this author is about pregnancy. This is refreshing to me. Pregnancy tests only remain memorable if you don’t take too many. If you buy them in bulk packages and test and retest, each result loses its power to shock and awe. After more than a few pregnancies that don’t come to term, you forget which test you took where. p20

2. I felt the baby kick. Unmistakable. The quickening. A strange lurching in what I might have called my stomach, but now must think of as my womb. p40 What a wild description, and also the one I've ever read of pregnancy that I really comprehend in a visceral way.

3. This was week thirteen , the same time that the last pregnancy suddenly ended. Like eating a forbidden soft cheese, this was one of the preventable dangers that was easier to focus on— here I could assign blame to myself as the cause of the misfortune. There was a moment of calm before the needle came out again and I felt more of the familiar cramping. p57 How real is this book? In all the mother narratives I've ever heard or read, none told the undramatic truth of amniocentesis. It hurts. It's dangerous. Its avoided, if possible.

4. I want to meet Alex! He is the author's disabled brother, whom she clearly loves to pieces.This book taught me a lot about advocating for IDD (intellectual or developmental disabled) folks.

5. My favorite part of this book is when she talks about her disabled daughter and her work to understand her daughter better, and make the best choices for her.

Three (or less) things I didn't love:

This section isn't only for criticisms. It's merely for items that I felt something for other than "love" or some interpretation thereof.

1. She really fluffed the subject of genetic counseling flirting with genocide, which kinds of surprises me, but also doesn't since people just don't understand disability if they are not disabled. I had already made the decision that Pompe Disease would have prevented a child from having the quality of life that I felt was necessary to bring someone into the world. But quality of life was an unstable benchmark. How could I quantify Alex’s quality of life? Or the quality that his life gave to mine? While I thought that I was capable of raising a child with an intellectual or developmental disability, many parents would not feel like they could handle it. Defensive as I am of Alex and the value of his life, the principle of choice rests on the right to make decisions that might differ from my own. Who am I to judge?  p Who am I to judge? Someone who knows the value of my life, despite becoming disabled. Who are you to judge, author? Who *are* you to judge?

2. Mothers really didn’t do much, according to my mother. Her four children were all the people that they were going to be without much doing on her part. Including Alex. p84 Uhm, yes, well except all the scientific evidence to the contrary disagrees. Like so much. Also, Alex is the author's disabled brother.

Rating: 🧬🧬🧬🧬 /5 double helixes
Recommend? Yes
Finished: Oct 26 '24
Format: Digital arc, NetGalley
Read this book if you like:
🧬 popular science
🗣 memoir
👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 family stories, family drama
🦻 hearing impaired rep

Thank you to the author Emily C. Bloom, publishers St. Martin's Press, and NetGalley for an advance digital copy of I Cannot Control Everything Forever. Thank you to Libby for an accessible copy. All views are mine.

"An eloquent and intimate debut memoir about navigating the gap between expectation and reality in modern motherhood."

Bloom's journey to motherhood begins with miscarriage. Genetic testing reveals that both Bloom & her husband are carriers of a rare genetic disease that decreases the odds of a successful pregnancy. Before she even becomes a mother, there is data & science & courses of action that are unexpected.

& so the book continues. Bloom has her baby, & the baby is Deaf. The baby needs occupational therapy. (My baby needed occupational therapy too for motor delays, & my partner & I had a good time joking about how unjust it was that she needed occupational therapy when she didn't even have an occupation & was contributing nothing toward the bills, haha.) The baby is not thriving. The baby has type 1 diabetes, which needs to be managed very carefully. Apart from being a baby, the baby is medically fragile. Bloom had hoped to have a baby & continue her academic career, but no one is really prepared for life with a baby until they have one. & when that baby has unique medical needs or other unforeseen isssues, it doesn't matter what you hoped for.

This book is beautifully written. Had I read it when my daughter was young, I would have fallen in love with it, & I absolutely recommend it to anyone out there at the beginning of their parenting journey. Five stars for those people. But my daughter is older now & I have a hard time reading books about new parenthood now. As vividly as I remember that feeling of "why didn't anyone tell me?!" I know the reality is that everyone DID tell me. I just wasn't in a place to understand until I was actually in it or past it, & I think that's probably the case for most new parents. This book is a stand-out in that Bloom's writing is truly exquisite, her research & observations are compelling, & her experience is uncommon. But I personally have limited bandwidth for pregnancy/baby stories these days.

Although some portions were interesting, I couldn’t quite figure out what the thesis of the books was. Sometimes it was a heartwarming tale of parent and child. Often it was an English lit lecture. The technical details of the hearing devices and diabetic equipment were boring. I wanted to know more about how child and parent connected in spite of the technology. I Cannot Control Everything Forever comes across as controlling nothing, not even the story.

I was absolutely fascinated by this book. I loved the format of learning about her life and her family and it seamlessly integrating into historical facts about the situation. I found myself talking about members of her family like I knew them in real life, thinking about them throughout the day and hoping their situations resolved themselves in the best possible way. I really enjoyed my time with this book and am interested to read more things by this author

Thank you NetGalley for gifting me an advance copy of this novel in exchange for my honest review and opinions.

Unfortunately, I was unable to download the file prior to it being archived and have no gotten a chance to read it. I hope to read it in the future.

This is a memoir about a woman navigating the uncertainties of pregnancy and motherhood despite the scope of technology and data available and learning to live with the diabetes and congenital deafness diagnoses of her daughter.

Thank you NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for the advanced copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

In "I Cannot Control Everything Forever: A Memoir of Motherhood, Science, and Art” (St. Martin’s Press, 2024), Emily C. Bloom navigates her inner Mariana Trench depths. The exploration of her fertility journey, including miscarriages, “chemical pregnancies,” and the birth of her exceptional daughter, forms the backbone of this narrative.

Through additional literary detours, detailed scientific research (e.g., the first pregnancy test, the why and when of genetic testing.), and artistic interludes, Bloom questions her new role as a caregiver and stay-at-home mom. She recognizes the overwhelming impact of care work on her own family while the privileges they have in health insurance, familial support, and education.

As a memoir fan, art lover, and science nerd, "I Cannot Control Everything Forever" is much more than the book I was expecting. Bloom's willingness to dig to the marrow of her own psyche made me wipe tears from my face or clasp my hand over my heart several times throughout her memoir.

Mazel tov to her and her family!!

Gracious thanks to Emily C . Bloom, St. Martin's Press, and NetGalley for the eARC. I truly appreciate it!!

Motherhood is an adventure of vast proportions, filled with high highs and low lows and everything in between. I was thrilled when I stumbled upon this book and looked forward to resonating with another mom’s joys and struggles, the heartache and the miracles. Often I think the biggest struggles lie in “navigating the gap between expectation and reality in motherhood” and in life, in general.

For me, this book was an exercise in managing that gap. The writing was excellent, but the voice academic… which caused me to struggle to connect with it. I expected a memoir focused on the author’s experience, and in the second half more of that comes through, but it is largely shared within the framework of science, data, and history.

I was not able to finish the book- it just wasn’t what I was looking for. But I struggled to assign it a star rating - my enjoyment of it was minimal, but the prose and research were there. So I gave it 2.5 stars (right in the middle!) rounded up to a 3. Many thanks to St. Martin Press and Netgalley for an arc in exchange for an unbiased review.

First of all, what a great title for everything this book is about. I Cannot Control Everything Forever tells the true story of the author dealing with motherhood, beginning with fertility struggles and then, the diagnosis of hearing issues and diabetes with her daughter, Willie. I learned about genetic disorders and diabetes management that I personally never had to take account of. There's a lot of academic research explained very well and relevant with the stories shared. The author narrates the stretches and sacrifices parents make for their children, and also how privilege can change significantly the circumstances from one demographic to another. I think this is a very important read for any person who wants to become a parent or fuctions as a caregiver.

4.5 stars rounded up. A thought-provoking memoir on pregnancy and motherhood. The author details her experiences dealing with pregnancy (and pregnancy loss) as well as raising her daughter who has hearing loss and diabetes. Throughout the book she intersperses history and science to give greater context to her decisions--it kind of reminded me of a combination of a memoir and a Bill Bryson book. Thanks to Netgalley and Macmillan Publishers for the ARC.

I thought this would be more memoir and less data. I enjoyed the memoir portions, but less the data pieces. It didn't seem to flow very well.

A thoughtful sensitive memoir about Bloom's journey to motherhood and caring for her daughter who is deaf and is diagnosed with diabetes, That's not all- this is also a tale about the intersection of science, art, and mothering, Thanks to netgalley for the ARC. This will speak to many,

I Cannot Control Everything Forever is a beautifully crafted memoir on pregnancy and motherhood which seamlessly incorporates art, science, history, literature, and philosophy. The title of this memoir alone was enough to draw me in, as it is a statement I could personally stand to remind myself of regularly. The reflective writing and diverse subject matter kept me reading.

Bloom's memoir centers on her experiences with pregnancy, miscarriage, motherhood, and the various challenges she encountered with them. Bloom also touches upon themes such as caregiver fatigue, proximity to disability, and the gendered division of labor in marriage and childrearing. Her writing is refreshingly self-aware and steeped in internal contemplation. My favorite parts were reading about Bloom's thought processes and the research she did when making important decisions, such as deciding whether to get genetic testing done for reproductive reasons.

I particularly enjoyed Bloom's acknowledgment that while many obstacles she faced were difficult and daunting, her privilege made her life experiences very different than those of poor, non-white, women without the kind of support systems she had. I also loved reading about her exploration of disability justice and Deaf culture, but would have liked to read a bit more about her inner thoughts and reckoning with the oralist vs manualist debate, similarly to how she grappled with the bioethics of genetic testing.

I thoroughly enjoyed how Bloom leveraged scientific history, mythology, etymology, and modern art to further explore and draw parallels to her own thoughts and feelings throughout her life. A memoir with citations is a memoir after my own heart. The image of a mother as a chimera will not leave my mind anytime soon. I would wholeheartedly recommend I Cannot Control Everything Forever to mothers, but it can be just as completely enjoyed by those who do not have children (such as myself).

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with a digital copy in exchange for my review.

As a mom, do you feel like you have to control everything, especially when it comes to your kids? This wonderful, and scientific book can help you realize that you are not alone and that even though we feel like we can and should control everything, that it is out of our hands. This book is a wonder and something we should all read.

Wow, first of all, what a gorgeous cover. It perfectly fits the book, which is just as extraordinary. The cover drew me in, but the content kept me reading. The writing was beautiful and evocative. Even when dealing with such difficult topics throughout the book, I was constantly interested and constantly excited to keep reading.

My review has been published here, on Goodreads:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/5899418858

I also plan to share my review via Instagram (@torreshannahg) and with a Facebook group of over 2,000 active readers (Currently Reading Bookish Friends group) two weeks before the release date.

Thank you to St. Martin’s Press, Net Galley and the author for the e-galley! This may be an example of “right book, wrong time” for me. I read this very recently, while I was still pregnant. It’s also notable that I am married to a Deaf person, so between the themes of pregnancy, motherhood and deafness, you’d think this the perfect book for me. However, I was burnt out on all things pregnancy when I read it, so I would like to come back another time. This book is for you IF you’re ready to dive into a beautifully-spun web of experience and data related to pregnancy, motherhood and both mental and physical health.
The author is incredibly talented; her profound insights were written beautifully and her expository writing was excellent. I personally was just too bogged down with all the fact-telling at the time, but I may pick it up again later. This book serves up both knowledge and nostalgia and will be perfect for the right reader.

Thank you NetGalley for this copy!

This was so pleasantly surprising. I don’t know how to rate and review memoirs as I think they are quite personal and can have many different aspects to them.
For most parts this was so heartfelt and eye opening and it gives you a new perspective.
There are many different topics and I’m sure you’ll be able to see yourself in it in one way or another.

I CANNOT CONTROL EVERYTHING FOREVER is a fantastic memoir that all mothers should read. Does that title not perfectly sum up motherhood? It’s such a frustrating reality for women where our children are concerned. Even the act of becoming a mother was something out of the author’s control and it was such a journey to read. It’s eloquent, moving, and just fascinating. Highly recommend! Thank you to St. Martin’s Press for my gifted copy! Out 4/16/24!

What a beautiful memoir of navigating motherhood in a way that is really introspective. Emily C. Bloom started off in her relationship with Evan, and then highlighting her extended family and his extended family before turning in a direction that we did see coming, her very own immediate family with the addition of the tools and technology of modern times, and the background of this technology, how its meant to help advance our understanding, but also the real time conflicts and questions this technology can bring up. It's very real, up close, and oh so personal, and yet you feel this window into her world is a beautiful gift of helping us understand that no matter the advancements in our thinking, technology, modern age, that ultimately we cannot control everything. Beautifully engaging and makes one think that much more of what is ahead for each of us.
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*

I love when I decide to read a book solely based on the cover and/or the title but it pleasantly surprises me. This book has something for everyone and a little bit of a few genres. I like reading books about motherhood as a daughter because I find it very interesting reading in the POVs of mothers as it helps me understand my own mother better.