Well this book is hard to review, there were parts of this that I really thought were interesting. The magical abilities of the main characters and the Xialings were super interesting and I wish had been explored a bit more and that we had a little bit more world building on the magic system and Pangu. Ruying was so infuriating at times and at other times I definitely could see where she was making decisions from. The main problem I had was the supposed "romance" which was just sickening and I do not think that it was very believable for anyone to comprehend really. The ending I really liked and I am hoping it goes the way I hope this series goes but I am not sure yet if I want to continue yet.

This book was a very hard read for me, it was very dark and it really made me sad for all of my ancestors that were colonized by the Spanish in Chile. I really felt that pain while reading this book and I do not know how accurate or again believable some of the main characters actions were but how different people react in certain situations is so different that it could be accurate just not the way I would react. I really liked the slow reveal of some aspects of the plot, I thought it was well done and made me want to keep reading to find out how everything was tying together. I am not sure I would recommend this one or not, while there are some good elements there are also some very dark elements so I would just caution that this is not a light fantasy read at all.

Thanks to Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group-Ballantine and Del Rey for providing me with an eArc in exchange for an honest review.

“To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods” is not “zutara on steroids,” but rather “zutara on quaaludes.”

What drew me to this book in the first place was the promise of a omfg, super toxic and complex relationship dynamic that’s totally a true example of the “enemies to lovers.” One that belongs in the echelon of greats alongside zutara, reylo, and darklina. I hold no moral quandary against the idea of “colonizer x colonized” if the subject is handled with the nuanced complexity that’s warranted. That shit tickles my neurons and makes monkey brain go brrrr.

However, this book was not that.
Not.
At.
All.

What this book is, is a vast cornfield of redundant, internal diatribes. Ruying’s monologues carry the majority of this 350+ page book, and I am not being hyperbolic. Chapter one consists of Ruying literally walk down a street while she figuratively has you by the back of your neck and funnels pages of lore down your throat with unblinking eye contact. Tl;dr: the Empire of Pangu bent the knee to its scientific Roman conquerers from the sky. The power of science beamed down and curb-stomped the lowly, inferior Xianling mages in a single day. From then on, the Romans have steadily colonized Pangu’s lands. Ruying is a Xianling “blessed” with Death’s magic, but she fears its power after having a Bad Experience with it.

The prose is presented as overdramtically fragmented sentences. Every page is littered with single word sentences and narrative questions or statements that are demarcated by line breaks for extra emphasis. Which are always presented with such a sense of profound gravitas. There’s also an abuse of overwrought figurative language that’s intended to elicit empathy from the reader. But because it’s presented like this, again, on every page the effect backfires. If this book had been a contemporary piece, Ruying’s narration would make the most obnoxious theater kid cringe.

It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve finished TGUWG, and I can still mentally recall all the plot points and character interactions because they stick out like moai statues amongst the maize of internal musings. Each of the interactions Ruying has with other characters all feel unnatural and strictly in service of moving the pieces along. Similar to the recent Percy Jackson and Avatar the Last Airbender adaptations. It’s so artificial, that I genuinely don’t believe Ruying has had any meaningful connections prior to meeting Antony, her “Prince Oppressor.” (stealing that moniker from mynameismarines lol). To reiterate: my issue isn’t that Chang set out to tackle the complexities of a dark relationship dynamic, it’s that she didn’t succeed in the attempt. In fact, Chang was so absorbed in Ruying’s repetitive, borderline didactic internalizations, that the main character has failed to have any real rapport with anyone outside of herself.

Hell, I’mma dig deeper with this. Based on the ARC I received, Ruying has, on average, a handful of interactions with the supporting cast. She is acquainted with Baihu (the old childhood friend), Meiya (the drug addicted sister), her grandmother (a supposed highly esteemed figure in the previous regime), Taohua (the supposed bff), Antony and his brother Valentin.
+Baihu: 6 interactions (3 full, 3 brief)
-Introduction where he’s projected as a traitor to Er-lang, but still seems to have a soft spot for Ruying (which goes over her head) as he supplies her with the opian drug to help Meiya
-Super brief, at Ruying’s jail cell where he says he’ll try and pull strings to get her out
-Super brief, at a tower once she’s released by Antony and they barely say anything to each other before Antony shoos him away.
-After time skip where he scolds Ruying for kowtowing to Antony. Ruying defends Antony.
-After treaty debacle where he reveals the whole Unit 731-ing to Ruying
-Super brief, final scene where Ruying joins his side.
+Meiya: 2 interactions
-Introduction where she has torn apart Ruying’s room in search of her next fix after suffering from withdrawals. Opian addiction has killed their father and its supposed power-amplifying effects have drawn Meiya to using (this is another frequent topic of Ruying’s Internal Musings). Meiya scolds Ruying for not using her gifts to fight their oppressors. Meiya’s gift isn’t as potent as Ruying, as she amplifies existing gifts. Or as Ruying will tell us on multiple occasions, Meiya gives life, where Ruying takes it.
-After time skip, Meiya admonishes Ruying for now using her power against their people as Antony’s pawn. Ruying defends Antony. These two go back and forth with their wordy talking points, but it’s not presented as a conversation. Like, Ruying very obviously contradicts herself at one point but it flies over Meiya’s head. There’s no dynamic push and pull in their argument that’d contribute to natural tension. Just one cardboard cutout hollering their opinion at the other cardboard cutout.
+Grandmother: 1 interaction
-After first Meiya interaction, where she tells Ruying she’s gonna travel north to find Ruying a husband and is filled with worry for the three of them. The idea of who the Grandmother was before the family’s fall from grace is another topic of Ruying’s Internal Musings. But the narrative doesn’t really utilize its word economy to show us who she is now compared to the legend that she was. The grandmother may as well have been dead and we’d get the same utility out of her.
+Taohua: 2 interactions (1 full, 1 brief)
-Introduction where she saves Ruying’s butt after the latter had pickpocketed Antony on the streets. She’s the only person friend Ruying has left and she’s super strong (literally, that’s her gift lol) and super extrovert and super cool.
-Super brief, at the prison, where Ruying cries out as Taohua has also been arrested and is being dragged off. Fun note for y’all: This happens in chapter 10, at around the 25% mark. Taohua is never even thought about again until chapter 48, at around the 93% mark. Her existence is just ~gone~ in the time between.
+Valentin: 2 interaction: (1 full, 1 brief)
-Super brief, after Ruying demonstrates her abilities before the princes, Valentin tries to force an opian addiction onto her via injection (it’s THAT addictive) so she’d be easier to control.
-After time skip, Ruying visits Antony’s tower, but Valenti’s hanging out there with a sporty cocktail. She gets him to spill some beans about Rome’s motives for their invasion. He literally cries a single tear in what I can only guess to be the book’s attempt at humanization. But then uh-oh, never mind, he tries to forcefully inject Ruying with opian again!!! Oh Valentin, you rapscallion, you~
+Antony: 6 interactions (2 long, multi chapter sequences, 3 full, 1 brief)
-Brief, Ruying sees this guy walking the streets and she pickpockets him. After his guards tackle her, Ruying uses her power on one of them in front of Antony and he’s all :D OHOHO~!
-at the prison. It’s a long sequence where after Ruying officially demonstrates her power to the princes and is thrown back in her cell, Antony visits and they properly meet. He honey talks her (badly, as it’s mixed with blatant threats to her family) and recruits her as his personal assassin. Takes her for a drive to get her to shoot some unseeming rando on the street, but when she can’t go through with it, he shoots the randomizes instead ‘cause ooohhh, such a badass. Then he takes her back to his tower, has Baihu make his brief appearance (probably to gauge whether the two know each other), and proceeds to honey talk her for real (she has great potential, he sees the greatness in her, yada yada) and it works this time. But he’ll still totally kill her family if she betrays him, hahaha~!
-After six month time skip, Antony tells Ruying that they’re gonna go to another country to sign a peace treaty with the emperor there but then Antony tells Ruying she’s gonna assassinate the emperor after the signing and the Anti-Rome heir is gonna be totally duty-bound to honor the treaty anyway because filial piety supersedes logic in Pangu, apparently? Even then, Pangu emperors are hailed as descendants of the heavenly dragon or something. Would such human constraints like filial piety even apply to them? But I digress…Antony’s lame, honey laced platitudes have her by the throat now. She believes he’ll bring true peace to all.
-At the other country, the hosting emperor and his son give Antony and his entourage a tour of their Venice-esque capital on a boat. Antony and Ruying step aside where she tries to get him to reconsider the assassination, since the emperor is willing to die for the sake of peace so what’s the point?! Antony’s all, “how’d he know of the assassination, Ruying?” and she’s all like “uhhhh.” Guys, Ruying is not a sharp character lol girl makes Feyre Archeron look like a genius. Then they’re attacked by rebels and defend each other from arrows.
-After the boat attack. This is another long sequence. they wash up on some shore and hide in some cabin. They need to warm up and there’s only one bed. It’s that moment in a romance where the couple open their hearts to one another at a time where they’d be, in some way, trapped together. This culmination comes at the head of tension filled build up. But, considering this is only their fifth interaction with one another, it doesn’t feel earned or sincere. He more or less reiterates the same spiel used to recruit her. The next morning, they talk about Pangu creation myth, how (in Antony’s opinion) the Xianlings aren’t tapping into their true magical potential and that’s why they fell so easily. They debate the value of science against magic. Once again, repeating talking points that Ruying had narrated to us in previous chapters, but presents it through a debate. No one can ever have a normal conversation in this book. Anyway, Antony most likely manipulates Ruying’s affections through even more drastic methods via stabbing himself as a distraction when they’re eventually found and cornered by the rebels again (which I’ll admit, is just extra enough to be funny).
-After Baihu has revealed the whole Antony’s Unit 731 truth to Ruying. Antony’s recovering from the self-stabbing fiasco and Ruying confronts him about his cheeky lil human experimentation and he cries that heyyy, c’mon, he’s just a little guy! Just a little guy, he’s a little birthday boyyy! That he acted in favor of the Xianlings actually. Ruying, did you know you guys actually have midichlorians and the opian’s purpose is to tap into that potential?! Ruying assures Antony that she’s still on his side, but mentally, she’s done with him.

Ruying has a couple brief moments with one of Antony’s guards as she walks toward one of the other aforementioned interactions. And another scene with the Venice-esque emperor and his son to warn them of the impending assassination. But otherwise, those are the interactions Ruying has with other characters within this 368 page book whenever she is not internally monologuing to us.

There are three chapters that stand out to me in particular that I wanna discuss though. The two intermission chapters, and Antony’s random two pages of pure simping. After Ruying becomes Antony’s assassin, there are two chapters before the six month time skip: one long internal monologue that montages those six months, and one called ‘Death’. The former repeats more of what Ruying has told us, plus her moralizing her choice at us to make herself feel just. That Antony would always embrace and soothe her when she feels herself crumble under her false choice. It’s a delulu speed run and I felt nothing from it because I shouldn’t have to infer the complex toxicity from my dark dynamic. A red flag springs up whenever I see someone comp zutara or reylo or darklina because more often than not, the writer just wants to get to Book 3 at the Fire Kingdom or at the “You are not alone, come with me” proposals without putting in the slow crawling effort that is Books 1 and 2 or The Force Awakens (and half of Last Jedi) that make these payoffs hit in the first place. This book’s six month time skip was its own shot to the face. If proper care and effort was used to actually sell us sicko readers on the delicious toxic lie that is Ruying and Antony, it’d be easier to empathize with the former when the rug is pulled from her. Hell, it’d be harder to root against the couple, despite the fictional crimes against humanity. I’m speaking as a darklina fan lol. But even then, steps were taken to make Darkling’s cause sympathetic and just (if gazed from a different perspective). It’s pretty difficult to sympathize with Prince Antony Mengele over here. Just sayin’… His two page POV chapter of his simping over “what if’s” was just as hollow as all the other platitudes he has showered over Ruying (ya know, within those handful of interactions I’ve cited).

The Death chapter perplexed me though. It’s barely a page and seemingly from Death’s POV as it commentates how Ruying just wants to survive for her family (something Ruying herself has narrated to us ad nauseam). I’ve seen complaints over Antony’s mini-simp session, but nothing on this. Death has been a lingering, yet prevailing presence in this book. The little devil on Ruying’s shoulder that urges her to use its power. But they weren’t presented as a sentient character. Until this little speedbump that isn’t in Ruying’s POV, yet states out her summarized character bio. Why does this chapter exist? Is Death gonna be an actual character in book 2 or 3? I gleaned nothing but confusion over this particular redundant page.

This book is one disappointment I’m not gonna easily put behind me. Because I’m still interested in where Chang takes this. Especially given the whole debacle back in March. Is Chang gonna commit to her “zutara on stereoids” or has she been urged (whether by other parties or fear from the early reception) to change her story? I’ve seen people say that “oh no, Baihu’s the true love interest all along, Antony’s the Darkling red herring!” And, I dunno. I’m hesitant to accept that. Baihu has had zero connection with Ruying despite having the second most amount of interactions with her. There’s hardly a foundation to work with, Chang’ll be starting from zero again at building a relationship. What would’ve been the point of this first book then? But then again, Ruying and Antony’s development has amounted to nothing either. So it’s truly up in the air. Hence my curiosity, yet disappointment that this has so far felt like a waste of time.

One last thing! A prediction I wanna throw out into the ether for posterity sake. The rebel group is led by a mysterious masked stranger that nobody (even within the group) has seen. Easy bet would be that this rebel leader is Baihu. But I think that’s boring as hell. I’ve got over twenty years of weeb experience under my belt and think it’d be really funny if Chang pulled a Code Geass and made Antony the masked leader. He seems to be really interested in Pangu and its people (Xianlings and non-Xianlings). The way he seemed disappointed at how they squandered their potential and his drive to rise them up to meet his expectations has got to have some purpose. Look, Antony gives me Great Value Lelouch Lamperouge vibes and I wanna hope that that’ll amount to something lol. I’ll definitely check out book two to see whether this series has found its wings to soar, or if it’s crashed and burned.

Molly has given us a high stakes take no prisoners romantasy and it was good. The characters hold their grey morals out proudly. The plot was suspenseful and so rich in culture. After awhile I embraced the originality of Rome having WW type of weapons. I would be willing complete the series when its finalized.

I was really excited about this book. Anti-colonialism??? Yes, please!

However, I found that this book really felt like the first in a series in that nothing really happens in this book. Yes, our main character ends up working for the Romans, but that happens so early and then she has a revelation that really seemed incredibly obvious to the readers because she was nearly explicitly told about it several times throughout the rest of the book.

I like Ruying as a character. I liked how morally gray she was and how she was trying to balance her values with doing whatever was necessary in order to protect her sister and her grandmother.

However, I did NOT like Antony and I could not understand why Ruying was "falling" for him. Even when we got his POV and he was saying how he finally understood what poets meant when they talked about love, he is still a colonizer... he is still basically a eugenicist.... so like I'm sorry, just because he feels love doesn't make him a good or redeemable character.

I think this series has promise in its premise, but I just felt I was waiting too long for anything to happen. I don't think I should have known about the big reveal 200 pages before Ruying finally realized it.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the chance to read the e-arc of To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods by Molly X. Chang.
To start, the cover is gorgeous. It made me want to read the story even when I had read some middling reviews. And the start of the book was compelling. Ruying’s love for her sister and family is heartbreaking and admirable. The world building of Pangu had such promise, despite the underlying enemy in this fantasy story being “Rome.” And I liked the tension I felt between her and childhood friend, Baihu. I wanted to root for Ruying and her quest to protect her family. But alas, this fell away as we are drawn into an enemies to lovers story. With a very unlikeable Roman ruler, Antony. Who gets her to do despicable things against her people. I did not in any way get to a point that this relationship made sense. In fact, it became a distraction. I grew tired of reading about Ruying’s internal conflict. I was excited when the action picked up ¾ through, only to feel that this climax was a tease because there is no grand conclusion nor cliffhanger. I expect this to be part of a series, but don’t care enough about the MC or underlying story to stick around to see what’s next.
3/5 star read

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods 4.0

Ruying has spent her whole life living with a gift she never wanted or asked for. Her home has been taken by foreign invaders, her sister is slowly dying, and any honor their family once had was taken by her father who sold anything they had for the promises the invaders gave. All Ruying wants is to protect her family and provide for them so they can live to see another day. She tries to care for her sister's addiction, protect her grandmother who has dealt with so much grief, and also keep her magic hidden that would be the ultimate weapon in the wrong hands.

So when the opportunity comes where she has to decide to either submit to everything she dispised in order to save her family but betray her people, she feels that this is her only option. But suddenly she finds herself more conflicted as the prince of the invaders she grew to hate is treating her with more kindness than she ever experienced because of her gift. Feelings start to appear that she never expected or wanted. Is the prince truly who he's rumored to be or does he genuinly have good intentions for her world and people?

While reading this book, I felt myself constantly struggling to read through the hardships the people were experiencing and wondered what I would do if I found myself in Ruying's situation. Would I be able to make the same sacrifices as her to protect my loved ones or would I follow the same beliefs her sister held? I don't normally pick up books that deal with war and the destruction it leaves in it's path, but something really attracted me to requesting the ARC. I really appreciated the cultural pieces, mythology, and sayings that were interwoven into the pages and the author's notes and reasoning for writing this story. After finishing the book, I certainly plan on reading the next book to find out what happens next.

Thank you NetGalley for letting me read this ARC.

I DNF this book because it was very hard to read. Not only that but something's about the book didn't make sense and was confusing.

A girl gifted with powers over death finds herself forced to wield it under the colonizer Roman prince who wants her to kill for him in exchange for the safety of her family... he promises that he will save her kingdom... yet the truth behind his actions is far different, but her heart can't help but be swayed... will it be too late when she finds out the truth? Ruying lives in a world that is being colonized by Romans. Her people are being killed, drugged, trafficked, and worst... all because the Romans want to take over. Yet her people were gifted with magical abilities, and Ruying's in particular is a deadly gift. Ruying has powers over death but every time she uses it, it shortens her own life. The only thing Ruying has is her sister and her grandmother, she'll do anything to protect them and to protect herself. Heroes die, cowards live, and that has been Ruying's motto to survival. Yet when she catches the eye of one of the Roman princes her life soon is in his hands as he tortures, kidnaps, and forces her to work for him in exchange for her life and the safety of her family. Yet the more time she spends with him the more she begins to fall for him and his pretty words, his promise of a world he is trying to create... of peace he promises to ensure the moment he takes over the throne... but what are pretty words when her people are dying and the more people close to her try to get her to see the truth of her Roman prince the more her heart will be tested. This was a strange book for me, especially knowing what I know about the background of the book and the author's own story. The book itself is about a young naive girl gifted with powers but being stockholm syndrome and the fact that she is falling for the foreign invader/colonizer who claims he is different when he is in fact much worse. See this book can be seen as problematic, yet it can also be seen as a case of "enemies to lovers" with problematic tastes. I can't fault Ruying because she is young, she's going through so much and she's barely given affection or love and after enduring so much, when someone promises her that they understand her, give her a bit of affection, and promise to give her everything she want's, she's bound to turn a blind eye to all the red flags. It makes you frustrated as a reader, it makes you want to shake her, just like everyone around her wanted to shake her and get her to see the truth. The book isn't terrible, it's just a weird one to read that kind of leaves you with the feeling of a bit of "eh" and "I don't know how to feel about this." As someone who reads a lot of "enemies to lovers" and dark romances, this one definitely toes in that line because she really is falling for someone terrible, yet at the same time she herself, is committing atrocities and you can sort of blame it on her environment, her situation, and who she is as a person... but it doesn't mean you have to like it or even really root for it. I can understand the complaints about this being considered a "colonizer romance" because honestly, it's not that far off but with the ending it has you questioning whether or not the author will lean into the romance in the sequel and how the author would redeem the love interest if they did. I honestly would have preferred if this was a straight up revenge/action story rather than having any romance in it at all. The romance aspect felt gross and unnecessary and I would have loved this more if it were about Ruying getting revenge rather than her falling for the guy colonizing her land.... so yeah. Honestly, if you like enemies to lovers in the truest sense, I guess I would recommend this to you.

<spoiler> : Ruying finds out that Anthony lied to her and has been experimenting on her people (he lied and said hed freed her friend but instead kept experimenting on her) she also finds out he killed all the people and kidnapped her in the beginning's raid because he wanted her and wanted to manipulate her to be his. They only get as far as kissing but they both fall for each other. That is until Ruying finds out all of the truth behind him and she begins working for the rebels instead. </spoiler>

*Thanks Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Del Rey for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

Talking heads

Two scenes of action

The relationship was weird and I didn’t like it. It reminded me of the weird relationship in Faebound

Temu The Poppy War without the war school and falling for an “good” heir.

I understand why she had to do what she did but I wish she was a double agent

The main characters powers are cool. But the entire time I was reading this I was like I get it you’re doing this all for your family but stop saying that out loud. We know you’re doing this for your family.

Narrators saved it tbh.

Morally grey done wrong 🤮 🤢

O delicious tragedy.

Faced with an unwelcome bargain to meet her family's needs, Ruying steals from the rich oppressors, gets caught, and ends up making an even worse deal to protect her loved ones at the expense of her deadly magic. All the while, rebels are afoot...There's lots of being in Ru’s head, which wasn't the most interesting to me as a way to establish the story, but later on I love the philosophizing that's at the heart of this conflict between worlds. Are the benefits of scientific advancements diminished when they clash with culture and tradition? Is it wrong to value family and friends over society?

The strengths of this book are in the discussions between Ru and Antony, captive and oppressor, enemy and enemy, confidant and support. From the spiteful arguments to quiet night musings, their conversations cut to the heart of their own justifications, and how both sides of a conflict can be bad. Their moments are breathless and real, in contrast to the action-based scenes which seemed more cookie cutter.

I'm not entirely sure how to feel about the side characters. Some of those established early on disappear for large sections, or fade into nothing. But on the other hand, certain new characters arrive later, fully formed and jumping off the page (iconic duo, you know who you are).

Other thoughts, in no particular order:
- The use of "dreamt" aka the superior conjugation. This pleases me.
- Mutual self-destruction :)
- Iron Widow-esque setting. The world feels like fantasy at a glimpse, but is actually a pseudo-futuristic alternate history sci-fi situation with magic vs science and sky portals.
- Relationships are COMPLICATED.

Chinese characters are used throughout the text, usually alongside a translation. I enjoy this, except, I don't know how to pronounce them (unless it’s one of the handful that I happen know). As a reader, I found it really distracting to have this sort of blank pause in my head when it came to those sections of dialogue. It might be clunky to insert the romanizations, but I want to know what it sounds like? Also because we're in Ru's POV and she certainly knows? I’m curious to see further discussion on this topic.

Honestly, this was an unexpected favorite. Maybe the ACE playlist had something to do with it? Maybe it's the sugary scones and cabin fever? Anyway, sign me up for the sequel. Break my heart. Not like I needed it or anything.

**Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC**

This was a book that got a lot of hype (both good and bad), but based on the blurb I was excited to read it! After finishing it, I’d say it was okay…
The magic system that Chang created was my favorite part of the book. It was super interesting and I wish there had been more about it with more history and insight about the magic of their world and why it’s disappearing (aside from a generic less people have magic and we have no idea why - I guess no one thought to try to figure it out 🤷🏼‍♀️).
The main character Ruying was very frustrating for me to read. Her blatant acceptance of the magic of her world being inferior to the science of Rome so there’s no hope/what’s even the point of trying made me want to throw my kindle across the room. She also insisted at the beginning of the book to judge those she sees as “traitors” and “Roman collaborators” extra harshly to then turnaround and become one herself and not understand how others might judge her harshly in return makes no sense.
This book was also heavily marketed as an enemies to lovers book with lots of angst and tension. I don’t think it succeeded. There was a short period of time during which Ruying is coerced into her role as secret assassin where we get to see the enemies part shine, but then there is a skip in time of six months and something happened during that time (probs forced proximity) and now she’s enamored with her Roman prince. We missed out on the best part of the relationship development during that skipped time! The result ended up feeling like the affection was forced and not realistic and I was definitely not rooting for them as a couple.

"Death only blesses a mortal when the world is at the verge of chaos, and his protege will either save the world, or destroy it"

I was so excited about this book and it was very mediocre to me. It follows Ruying trying to make sure her twin sister and grandmother are both safe and living while the rest of her nation continues to crumble under the rule of the invading Romans. They had been surviving unbothered until one day, the Roman soldiers are sent out to capture the magical among her people known as Xianlings. These rare, magical people have gone into hiding or have suppressed their abilities, until they are dragged to the rulers. It then follows Ruying in her journey to survive and make sure no harm falls on her remaining family, even if it means working with their invaders.

I personally wasn't very invested in this book. The world building and magics in it were so so fun and interesting to me, but I genuinely did not care if any characters lived or died. The supposed "romance" in this book fell so flat, and I hope that was the intention. Out of nowhere, the man of the family that literally conquered her nation was all of a sudden the apple of her eye? He whispered everything she wanted to hear, and then we get the random chapter of his POV about his affections too? It was very sudden and out of nowhere, while we get more and more about Ruying's conscious and how she hates the Romans. It felt all over the place to me, but I still enjoyed the storyline. There wasn't really anything keeping me interested in the book besides the big twist at the end that I knew was coming, and may be the only reason I read book two.


Thank you Netgalley and publisher for a copy of this eARC in exchange for an honest review!

2.5

"Death might be my patron, but he owed me nothing. To him, my life was just like any other: a fruit waiting to be harvested. Whether I'd live long enough to swell with the sweet juice of life or be tragically picked sour and early like to many Xianlings before me was a questions only he could answer"

I flew through the first half of this book. The author's writing style is lyrical, and there were beautiful quotes throughout. I did have an issue with the repetitiveness of the story. The author mentions how terrible the Romans are so many times in the story and the main character Ruying keeps going back n forth on whether or not she should be helping the Roman prince. One minute she knows what she is doing is wrong but wants to save her family, but the next she thinks the prince is actually the right answer. Then she starts to fall for him, even though she knows she shouldn't be trusting him and after he has forced her to kill so many. I didn't like how we glossed over Ruying's first kill and went to her 49th. The beginning showed how much she struggled with using her magic, but all of a sudden she's become this elite assassin, we didn't get the growth of her using her abilities Also, Ruying states that this one girl is like a sister to her, and she was promised her friend would be let go to safety, but not ONCE did Ruying check in on her, which doesn't make sense. Also, they kept depicting Ruying as this super powerful character because she can kill a person with her magic, she can only kill so many before she gets worn out. I'm sorry but that doesn't seem all that god like to me. I also didn't think it made much sense that the Romans are threatening to bomb Ruyings world if they rebel, when their own world was destroyed by pollution and war. The Romans are trying to save their world by conquering this new world, so what's the point if they destroy her world too. Finally, I didn't like the ending when the prince trusts her that quickly, he's described as someone who is taught not to trust or love anyone and yest after he betrays the girl he loves in a pretty serious matter he believes she still trusts him right away?

Part of me is torn on if I want to continue with this series. I did like the premise of it. The Romans are horrible selfish people conquering Ruying's people, destroying their culture all because they destroyed their own world. I want to see how Ruying is able to out maneuver the princes and save her people.

Thank you Netgalley for the ARC from Random House Publishing Group

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods is an amazing debut novel. I’m glad the author’s note was included at the beginning of the book as it gave me a perspective to view the horrors from as I was reading.

This is a fantasy retelling of colonization from a modern Roman Empire who, after destroying their (our) home planet, used their technology to rip a portal into a new world of magic blessed by ancient gods. A generation later, the young adults who grew up in this oppressed society have been forced to decide where their loyalties lay, and whether a tenuous peace can be found or if war is the only next step.

You can expect:
Chinese-inspired parables and history
Magic vs Technology
Enemies to allies to more?
Villain with tragic backstory
Secrets and Betrayal
1st Person, Single POV (mostly)

This was a great start to a series and I do want to continue. The sentences were long and descriptive, so it took a bit for me to get into, but it was beautiful writing. I have seen complaints about the love interest being toxic, but I feel like it was treated realistically for their circumstances and doesn’t portray it as relationship-goals.

Thank you to NetGalley and Del Rey for providing an eARC for my honest review.

I tried to love this book by going into it with a clear head from any biases. The beginning was enough to captivate me. Ru was solid in her stance against the colonizers. She had a clear and strong background and foundation for her story with her sister's addiction and grandmother raising her. From there I felt it was a back and forth battle between whose side Ru was on that got very repetitive after a while. I almost didn't care what side she was on, I just wanted her to pick one. The romance was hard to fall into. It felt one day we hated him and the next we're wanting to touch him even if he was saying questionable things to Ru. That may have to do with the time gap causing this disconnect as we don't get to see the connection grow. The magic system was definitely interesting and could be explored more in depth, along with the vague build up of what the Romans really are doing in Pangu. All the elements were definitely there, I just don't know if the execution was for me.

I kept trying to finish this book but unfortunately I’m gonna have to soft dnf this book at 40% the writing style wasn’t for me but I will hopefully pick this back up again. I keep seeing a lot of good reviews so I will pick this up again

I’ve seen To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods listed as both adult and YA fantasy, but, despite not being a YA reader, I found it didn’t matter much to me. I enjoyed this one to an extent, and I appreciated how Ruying found herself caught between two worlds, between what essentially amounts to the East and the West, and between magic and science. She was often a frustrating character to follow, trying to do what she needs to in order to protect her grandmother and sister, to survive, and to find a way to let her heart have what it wants, but was so easily manipulated. There’s a stronger romantic thread than I cared for, and a glimpse into a love triangle, but it was the story of Ruying wanting so badly to protect her family that I actually enjoyed.

Inspired by the Opium Wars and the human experiments that occurred in Manchuria during WWII, To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods presents a world of magic, even if it is dying, but this novel drops the reader in after a portal in the sky has been opened and invaders have swiftly taken over, turning this country’s emperor into little more than a puppet, and the surrounding nations are prodded into bowing down to the invaders. After her father’s death thanks to opium, Ruying and her younger sister reside in a small part of what was once a sprawling home with their grandmother, surviving day to day while Ruying tries to take care of her opium addicted sister without their grandmother knowing. When she steals from one of the invaders, her life changes as she sparks his interest, heightened even more when he discovers her death magic. Taken forcefully from her home, Ruying finds herself in Prince Antony’s service, and things get complicated as her childhood friend Baihu implores her to be careful, but Ruying thinks herself in love, and being with the prince ensures her sister and grandmother are cared for and safe. Until disaster strikes when she’s out with Antony and truths are revealed that make her question things.

I find myself conflicted about this novel. There were things I enjoyed and appreciated, and others that just drove me crazy. I liked that this drew on what happened in Manchuria during WWII as I was completely unfamiliar with it, but it also tugged out memories of my grandmother’s stories from when she was a girl growing up in southern China during WWII. I really enjoyed how Ruying’s world made me think of China, and I loved her commitment to doing whatever she could to take care of her family. I also enjoyed the clash between, essentially, the East and the West as the invaders made me think of technologically advanced Romans, as well as a clash between magic and science as Ruying’s people once held greater powers than they do now and the invaders come from a world of science and technology. These dichotomies are rather black and white, but these are also the kinds of clashes I find myself enjoying. It did grate on my fantasy loving heart how magic was painted as vastly lesser, as something dying and to be used and controlled, instead of something mighty to be used against the invaders. I was also certainly not a fan of how Ruying was so easily and frequently manipulated by Antony. I had a hard time buying into their romance, and it just felt sullied to me. He clearly had the upper hand and she was little more than a tool no matter what he claimed, and Ruying was just completely blind.

Ruying’s world fascinated me. I loved that some of the people have magic, and I liked the things their magic could do, as well as the limitations imposed on them. I hated the way these people were used by the invaders, hated that they were supposedly powerful and capable of wielding something the invaders couldn’t, and yet the invaders always won because the magic is dying, and that just created such an imbalance of power that I just found myself frustrated with it, as though, of course, Rome has to win. I think this is one of the places I struggled with the most. I found myself frustrated with the leaders of Ruying’s world and how powerless everyone was painted to be. Certainly, I can understand that science and technology have a power of their own, but I felt like it was painted as something superior, so of course Ruying’s people are going to easily find themselves subjugated to their rule. But there were so many fascinating powers, so much strength and tenacity in the people, when they wanted to be so, that I was frustrated with the world. Ruying’s magic was interesting, though, and I loved the limits imposed on her. There was always a constant reminder of what the cost is, and yet, well, Ruying made her choices, and I certainly can’t say I agreed with all of them.

And yet I understood why she did it. I understood her motivations. Or, at least, some of them. With her father gone, her sister sickly thanks to her addiction, and her grandmother elderly, Ruying feels like it’s up to her to take care of her family. Not that her grandmother isn’t capable, but, as many traditional Asian grandmothers are wont to do, she was more concerned with marrying off Ruying to keep her safe. And, well, it was probably just the done thing. But I did appreciate the ferocity with which Ruying protected her family. It created some great tension between her and her sister, and I liked how I felt torn between them, torn between which of them was right. Ruying’s duty to her family, as misguided as it might have been, was easily my favorite part of To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods. It’s something familiar to me, something my parents worked to ingrain into me, so I found myself aching for Ruying at different points and finding myself, now and then, able to understand her.

What bothered me the most about Ruying, though, was just how easily manipulated she was and the way she treated the two men in her life. There’s the prince, who takes her as his personal assassin for reasons that are certainly not veiled or hidden, but Ruying, despite knowing everything, is just completely blinded by how handsome and attentive the prince is to her. It was often sickening to me, and I wanted to slap some sense into her. I hated how he manipulated her, and yet I hated her more for being so blinded by her belief that he cared about her, despite people close to the prince practically outright telling her she was a fool. Their romance just never sits right, and I feel like I want to even hesitate to call it a romance. It felt more like manipulation, like Stockholm syndrome, tinged with Ruying’s desperation to protect her family, who don’t even really play much of a role later on. Then there’s her relationship with her childhood friend Baihu. I actually liked him from the beginning. He clearly cared about Ruying, and I like to think a romance between them might be a whole lot better, but he’s clearly keeping things from her. I liked the reveals made about him at the end, and I want to hope the next book will be better because of the ending. But Ruying’s treatment of him at the beginning because of his relationship to the invaders just rubbed me the wrong way the deeper I read.

The other thing I enjoyed about To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods were the clashes between East and West, magic and science. It’s certainly almost too clear cut and certainly gives the West with its science the upper hand, and that did bother me as it makes magic feel very much lesser (and I do have a magic loving heart). But I also enjoyed the dichotomy, and I found myself fascinated by the clashes. It made it easier to see the inspiration drawn from what happened in Manchuria, and to make it easier to swallow the idea that Ruying has no choice but to sell her soul. Then again, Ruying is a coward; she wants to live. On the flip side, her death magic will most certainly kill her, so I’m hoping the next book will have her as a true hero. But, yes, I enjoyed the clashes, and hated how the East and magic did not come out on top. It was far more grating than I think it should have been, and it really bothered me how Ruying’s world just bowed down.

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods was not what I expected, much less the kind of East Asian inspired story I was looking for. I liked Ruying’s magic, but I did not like Ruying. I liked her world, but I did not like how helpless I felt it was painted. I liked Ruying’s devotion to her family, but I did not like the relationship she found herself in. This also, weirdly, felt a little episodic to me, with big events happening followed by slower parts where I, the reader, felt like I was dithering around. On the bright side, I found this to be a quick read, and I appreciated the inspiration this novel drew from. And I’ll be hoping the next book will be better.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a review copy. All opinions expressed are my own.

To be a debut novel??? This is GOODDDDDD!
To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods features an amazing FMC Ruying who is gifted with death’s magic. With her country Pangu being overthrown by the princes of Rome, she makes a deal with one to bring peace to her country by becoming their hired assassin ❤️‍🔥

I loved the tension and development of the MMC Antony and Ruying’s relationship (if you forget the fact that he’s her colonizer😅) i wish the world building happened earlier on in the book as it seems “Rome” refers to modern day countries with their weapons and problems v. Pangu’s more traditional setting.

Overall, this book was TOO EASY to devour and I’m excited for the second book to be released! 😩

Huge thank you to Molly X Chang and NetGalley for providing me an ARC in exchange for an honest review ❤️‍🔥

Admittedly I requested this ARC because it had a pretty cover, was a debut author and in the fantasy category. What I got was beyond my expectations. This is a wonderful debut dystopian fantasy with sci-fi elements and magic. An alternate world where Rome was never defeated, they continued conquering and colonizing until they depleted and broke their world. Then through science and technology they discovered portals to other worlds, one of which has magic. Ruying is a Xianling, one gifted with magical qi, her gift is death. This is her journey, one fraught with hard choices, guilt & betrayal while she tries to save her family, her people. Can magic win over guns, technology and science?

While the description hinted at it being romantasy with a love triangle it’s barely there in this first installment.

There are events in this book that may be triggering to some. This story is set in a war torn, actively being colonized world. Triggers include extreme poverty, drug use/addiction, death, abuse, child abuse & torture.

I am sad to say that this didn't work well for me. While the concept and the beautiful cover drew me in, I did not enjoy my time reading this.

The writing itself was decent when allowed to flourish, but I felt so tired of it by only twenty percent in.

Info dumps that pulled me out of the story. Repetitive inner dialogue. There were many parts that I wished we got to see in real time that were glossed over, including most of her time using her magic and any development with a love interest.

There was just not enough here for me to really enjoy.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc.