Hard pass on this book. It is so full of troupes, my eyes didn’t stop rolling throughout it. It has all the bad things of YA fantasy with very few positives. I guess the magic is kind of interesting? But we learn very little about it. It’s been awhile since I’ve had characters that I cared less about. This is one that I wish I had DNF’ed, but alas, I kept going.

To gaze upon a wicked gods

“I hate that he was right.
I was the girl blessed by death.”
“Waiting for someone to rescue me was useless. If I wanted to escape, I had to rescue myself.”

For our family to survive, sha had to sacrifice one granddaughter to save the other.

To save her sister for whom she would do anything and her grandmother, Yang Ruying makes a deal with her enemy Antony Augustus, if he wants someone to die she has to kill him. In the process they began to fall in love and I really liked their relationship.

I had so many expectations for this book but after 20% I got bored, many times I thought about putting it down but I wanted to read it at the end.

The story is good but it wasn't for me.

this book had so much potential to be great. the world building and magic system were fascinating and well done.

this book was marketed as an enemies to lovers and it’s not that. i feel like it’s more of a dark romance. if there was less romance and more political, world building it would be so much better than it is. the romance takes so much away from this. i think it’s romanticizing an abusive relationship.

magic system- incredible
romance- awful

thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Monsters & Demons: 5/5
Redemption: 1/5
Sacrifice: 100/5
Plot Twists: 3/5
Love: 3/5

Set in a fantasy magic-based world called Pangu, that has now been invaded by a science-based world Rome via a portal, To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods is a tale of survival through war and oppression. I found the author's note relevant in explaining the inspiration behind the story as I had also grown up with similar stories about the war.

Ruying has an unusual magic gift that brings Death to anyone she touches. A gift that has always caused her to be shunned and feel like a Monster for killing. In the midst of her daily survival, she is noticed and eventually caught by a Roman Prince wanting to utilise her gifts to bring about a better society, and an end to the war. The choices she makes to protect herself, her friends and her family are nothing short of traitorous. To be put in that kind of position and situation, I believe would be difficult to turn down.

Antony is one of the three Roman Princes from the invading empire - claiming to be the better Prince who will finally bring peace and co-existence. Though to do this, he requires Ruying to assassinate all those that stand in his way and are against the side of peace. Her struggles with how she has always been perceived, make it an easy decision for her to choose to side with Antony, at the expense of her relationships with her childhood friends and family.

Key to Ruying's decisions are the friendships she has with Taohua who is fighting against the invaders, Bai Hu who is working alongside another Roman Prince, and her sister who is supporting the rebellion under The Phantom. I would put this whole book as completely morally gray. Ruying struggles a lot with figuring out who to believe and which side she should be on.

I wouldn't say there is a love triangle though Ruying struggles with her feelings towards Bai Hu and Antony - a traitor on the enemy side vs. an enemy on her side. It takes a lot of indecision and contemplation on Ruying's part before we get to the grand reveal of where everyone's alliances and fate lie, and to see who really is the Monster through it all.

Thank you Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group-Ballantine for the arc!!

I went into this book with such high expectations: magic vs science system, girl with death powers, childhood friends to enemies vibes, etc. But my expectations were brought down five chapters into the book.

First of all, the world building is super confusing. One part of the world building is called Rome and its citizens Romans which make me think of men in togas, but then they're described wearing suits and holding guns. Then we have the other part of the world called Pangu and its citizens wear traditional clothes. There are also hints at a substance used by the citizens called opian, very much described like opium, which makes me think of mid-19th century China. And I understand that in a secondary world fantasy novel it's a bit strange to use our calendar system, but still, I couldn't focus on the rest of the story as I was trying to figure out the timeline this book takes place in.

My other issue is on the fact that half of the empire, which is clearly supposed to represent China, is called something else, while the rest of the empire is called Rome. Why? According to the author, they are a "fictionalised" version of romans, but I really don't see that. If that was the case, then I think the name should have been something else and not Rome.

And lastly (which, again, ties back to the whole world building issue), in the author's note it's mentioned that the events in the story are inspired by real events that have happened in China during the Russian and Japanese occupation. I have to admit, I don't know much of China's history, it wasn't something I was even taught in high school, but I know about the Roman Empire and they're nowhere near each other historically or geographically. Again, it might have been better if the author had chosen a different name for one of the empires. It came off as slander towards the Roman Empire when the whole focus was supposed to be China, Russia, and Japan.

At this point I couldn't read more of this novel. I had to DNF on chapter 5. I am still intrigued by the plot, but I know my mind will be focused on trying to make sense of the world building and I won't be able to pay much attention to the rest.

I feel like at this point given the discourse around this book, and the many people who have dedicated valuable time to dissecting the book's flaws, there's not much I can add. However, I will try.

I really wanted to like this book. The magic system is fascinating, and I do enjoy a dystopian fantasy. I enjoyed the way the main character is pulled between these two plans to respond to colonization, and that there doesn't seem to be a clean right answer. It's something a lot of YA novels shy away from, and I'm glad this book does spend some time with the practicality of doing something evil for a very limited goal and with the thought it'll prevent a larger tragedy, but recognizing that helps people who are destroying you too.

That being said, I think this book needed some major help from editors, and it's disappointing that the publishers did not do more. This feels like something an editor could and should have caught. I echo the criticisms about the colonizer romance, which didn't feel fully necessary to be able to develop the plot. It's made worse by the fact that it seemingly occupies the bulk of the books, since the action plot doesn't really heat up until the later half of the book. This book easily could have been cut down and the next book incorporated into this one. That would have allowed for the end game that spoilers have been disclosing, and would have helped the plot's pacing as well.

Finally, while the author bears some blame, ultimately this book highlights the importance of having a diverse team editing books. While I understand not everyone will feel this way about the book, more diverse early readership would have helped so much to catch these things.

I honestly don't know what to rate this. I enjoyed elements of it much more than my other 2/2.5 star reads, but I finished it and felt kind of gross, so rating it 3 stars feels high.

2 -⭐⭐

"Heroes die. Cowards live."

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods is the first novel the new adult dark fantasy romance series by the same name. Set in a fantastical world similar yet different to ours we follow Ruying, a young woman desperately trying to keep her family together in a world that oppresses her people, where Rome has conquered all. Ruying has a unique ability (she sees it as curse) to be able to pull a person soul for their bodies that comes with a price (years off her life) but when she is caught by a Roman prince she is offered a deal - remove his enemies for the "good" of realm and in return he will ensure her grandmother and sister are protected and safe. Ruying must decide if she can truly trust this prince as he draws out feelings she never thought to exist....or will she have betrayed the very people she seeks to protect?

Okay, I DNF'd this book at 41% - that is to say I read up until the 41% and then skimmed the rest just to keep a pulse on the story.

Let's start off with the good. I liked Ruyen's fierceness as a character. I liked her love for her family. Her relationship with her sister was raw and real and highlighted elements of addiction and the pressure they feel in this cruel world. I felt the set up around how much influence they have on the bargains she makes to be powerful.

I found the writing style to be easy to consume and it did create this angsty dark world that offered a lot of promise. The world itself is interesting but extremely muddled as it mixes Rome, the opium war like sensations, and 20th century ideas of air blimps, guns, and ships thrown into a world of magic. It takes a bit to catch your bearings here. The grittiness of the world is powerful and you really get a sense of how desperate this place is as you realize how much people have lost or given up thanks to the Roman conquest.

"You can be so powerful, Ruying, if you just accept who you are."
"Not everyone wants power."

That said - I struggled with Ruying's path and ultimately lost interest in it. On one hand, Ruying highlights how dark her magic is, how dangerous, and addictive, and cruel it makes her to use it...but then she uses and does not kill. She paints herself a monster and we're asked to forgive her but I rarely saw the depravity she sees in herself.

I also felt the romance was just something I could not get into. The power dynamic was too severe in the sense Antony's motivation to use Ruying is both manipulative and questionable. He claims to be doing things for the best interest of not just Rome but also Ruying's people but I found it hard to accept it. He paints himself the lesser of two evils and I have yet to find the redemption that would make me willing to accept his action. I know its dark romance but there needs to be some redeeming qualities in the relationship, especially a romance, and all I got was a toxic one that I struggled to root for.

The ending overall for this story does pose a twist that changes the story and marks a different path than I anticipated but I just could not get into these two characters together. Now maybe this relationship is not end game but I don't know if I really care to find out. Now, I would definitely check out another series by this author down the line as her writing is easy to consume.

Thank you Del Rey for the arc!

I want to thank NetGalley and Random House for the opportunity to ARC read this amazing novel!
This novel was amazing! I know there is concerns over the author, but I am strictly rating this book based on its content. Not only were the world building and magic system gripping, but the writing style and the lore of the book were amazing. I was absolutely captivated by the book. I also loved the imagery and the representation of different cultures. Science and fantasy coming together was chef's kiss! I would be remiss if I didn't mention the romance between the FMC (Ruying) and Antony. I cannot wait for the next installment of this book!

So I truly believe the concept was grear. It had all of the elements but I struggled with the execution. The opening was confusing to me and I struggled to follow the narration, especially in the beginning. The goal to keep an eery and mysterious beginning in the battle between the worlds had little explanation. This is where I think many people would either lose interest or continue forward. Many of my friends would push onwards to learn about the world; however, I gained even more confusion as the story progressed. There was alot missing that I as a reader really rely on, which is surprising because ther was excess of some arcs that I wish I could see more of. One major example is the assassin arc. This could have been a major instance of internal change or pull for the character but no.

Magic vs. Science was dframatized well. Even a toxic, enemies to lovers was done alright. I just can't get heind the overall execution. I think as Chang's career and writing matures and continues this can be worked on and we can see her growth.

With all of the controversy of the book I am trying to remain neutral.

Thank you Netgalley & Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine | Del Rey for the ARC.

When a book takes me 3 tries to get into it, I know it’s not for me.
The writing style just was not one I personally go for. I think the concept was fun, him giving her the bargain to protect her family but use her as his assassin! And romance? Ugh I was all for it.. (Don’t want to spoil anything else)
The execution was not done in a way I vibed with, she killed her own people, was manipulated and he tortured her (the bracelet was too much for me).. for it all to just switch at the end? Now she sees he’s actually the bad guy? The heck🙃 this did not feel like romance, so being advertised as enemies to lovers just felt wrong. I was not rooting for this couple at all, which by the end I’m guessing we weren’t supposed to. Doesn’t make me want to know more, if anything I was just confused. I may not be the target audience but I’m sure there are plenty of people who will love and adore this book and this series!

From the moment I saw this cover and social media blasts it has been one of my most anticipated reads. SO I’m very conflicted after reading. The main character Rui and her magic is what kept me interested. I just found myself wanting more details on the magic system and background on how Rome came into play here. I feel like there is so much potential that could’ve been fleshed out but the romance aspect took over. I will probably grab the next one to see how everything plays out because I have questions that NEED answers.

Thank you NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.

I want to say that this book overall had the potential to be an amazing first installment to a new series. I thought the world was interesting and unique and there were interesting stakes and the premise of magic vs science is such a cool concept. To say that I was very excited to read this book would be an understatement. However, as much as I honestly wanted to love this book I had a hard time due to the character development.

I didn't buy the MMC and FMC's love story, our FMC, Ruying, went from hating the Romans and anyone associated with them to falling in love with one of the princes. That would have been fine however we skipped over the first six months of their relationship where they would have supposedly begun to fall in love. So for me, it felt very insta-love which isn't my favorite trope and just made the relationship so much less believable. Not to mention because we didn't have those building blocks moments for their character development and relationship the choices Ruying was making didn't make sense and were at times more than a little confusing. I understand that the author was trying to write morally grey characters and also play around with the idea of what if our main character wasn't brave but gave into her more cowardly urges. Which in theory could be very interesting, but I don't think she pulled it off as well as I hoped, and left me as the reader wondering why anyone would think that Ruying's choices made any sense for her family and people's long-term survival.

There was also the odd choice of putting in a lot metaphors within the text which I didn't love since it drew me out of the book and felt forced in there just for the sake of being there. I would have much preferred if the author had made those metaphors as the chapter title or something like that so that the writing didn't feel as forced and clunky.

I'd say this was a very low 3 star (probably more like 2.75), I believe that this has a lot to do with the fact that this is the author's debut novel and so she hasn't quite perfected her craft. I'm leaning towards trying the next book to see if things come together and get better, because like I said before I can see the potential of what the author was trying to do. I thought the world was interesting and we were just starting to get information at the end of this book that could explain some of the mysteries this world had.

Special thanks to Del Rey for providing a digital ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. 2.5 stars

TL;DR: Little hurts more than being disappointed by a book on my most anticipated 2024 release list. The premise was intriguing and in general, I think the story and writing were promising but the execution was weak and ultimately, underwhelming. From reading the author's note, this story is dear to her but that passion didn't come through the writing. There was a lack of emotional connection and the characters came across as one-dimensional. There have been reviewers saying this is a colonizer romance and I can't disagree—it was a very uncomfortable relationship (maybe purposefully so but then I think it was clumsily written) but mostly because, IMHO, it felt forced and more like Stockholm Syndrome than any 'real' romance. Overall, while I think this had potential, it just didn't work for me. Part of me is curious to see what happens next but I'm not sure I would buy it to read it.

I was so excited when I managed to get my hands on an early copy of this book because the minute I saw the cover and read the synopsis, I knew I wanted to read it ASAP! Sadly, the story's execution didn't work for me. I think this could have been a richly developed story wrought with emotion and strong characters you love and loathe, but what I felt most while reading was underwhelmed. I was intrigued by this world that the author brings to life but it was poorly developed. I can't remember getting any world-building other than the impact of colonization on Pangu; however, other elements like the portal were not further explored. The magical abilities granted to the Xianglings were also interesting but I would have loved to see what others were capable of beyond our MC. Sadly, this was another element that was not explored in further detail but it would've added richness to the world.

Several other issues made it difficult for me to feel immersed in the story. While it moved fast and it was easy to read—I got through close to half of it in a couple of hours, the writing was repetitive and up until the 40% mark, not much happened. Ruying's perspective was also trying because of how repetitive her internal monologue was—we would get the same information, presented in the same way, repeatedly and it happened throughout the book! It was hard not to get bored or irritated by the repetition and I think this would've benefitted from having another POV, whether it's Antony or even Meiyang.

This brings me to the characters and where I think most of my issues stem from because I didn't find anyone particularly likeable, easy to root for, or memorable. Everyone was so flat and when there was room for character and relationship development, we got a massive time jump instead. If I can be honest, I'm still confused about what I felt/thought of Ruying, but I didn't see her as the "strong" lead that maybe the author set out to write. I found her naivete confusing, her actions ironic, and her attitude mildly irritating but I also felt sorry for the situation she found herself in. I understood her need to keep the family she had protected but at the cost of what she sacrificed, and so easily too, at that? Before reading this, I learned of some controversy related to the author and the story and heard it being labelled a "colonizer romance". I have to say that I agree and admittedly, the label influenced how I read the book at times. *That said*, even without that label in mind, I wouldn't have been convinced of the romance because their relationship felt emotionless and forced. I was not sold on their chemistry and it honestly read more like Stockholm Syndrome than genuine feeling. Ruying sounded completely brainwashed! At no point did Antony's actions or words foster trust in his character, so the ease with which Ruying was convinced by his "vulnerable nature" and "genuine heart" was shocking.

No other character stood out to me in any way and even though I felt like the author was trying to *show* their rage, it was more *telling* than showing, which (again) impacted my connection to the story. Sadly, this made potentially shocking and heartbreaking moments fall flat for me. That essentially sums up my overall experience with To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods. While there is a small part of me that's curious to see where the author will bring this story next and if there'll be improvements in the writing, at this moment, I wouldn't be inclined to pick it up—at least, I wouldn't buy the second book to read it. As it is, I'm also struggling to think of who I'd recommend this book to!

blessed by death, ruying shouldn’t have to fear the forces occupying her land—but, to keep her grandmother and twin sister safe, she does. when she’s taken by one of the princes, she’s forced to do his bidding by becoming his personal assassin.

this book was so interesting! i loved the inclusion of both magic and science, and how these two systems were pitted against each other. i thought that the magic system was cool and i enjoyed how it was linked to the gods, meaning that ruying could hear death’s voice in her mind at times.

in terms of romance—i’m not sure why people are calling it a romance or thinking it was supposed to be romantic. to me, this was a darklina situation, except it’s clear that antony was manipulating her from the start. that’s just my take on it, though!

i highly recommend this to fantasy readers!

When I say this book is good, I f*ckin mean business. I've already told the author directly, but I just wish I could erase my brain and read this again anew. Strong female lead? Yup. Intricately plotted? Yup.

I giggled, I gasped so loud roommate's asked if I was injured, I let loose a tear out of shock. Please read and appreciate her writing. So unique and I've read my fair share of folklore, so that is saying something.

Trust in me.

I was really looking forward to this, and it kind of let me down. I didn't find the characters to be all that appealing, and I couldn't bring myself to care about them, which is sad because the concept of the characters and the world they are in is very interesting. Maybe I will come back to it because it could very well be this was a book I was reading at the wrong time because it had everything I would want in a book, but the execution was where it was lacking for me. I felt there was a lot of telling and not showing, and I never felt that there were stakes or tension. I was missing that, and because I couldn't get into the story and characters, it was hard for me to enjoy the book. The concept is amazing, but the execution was just lacking for me personally, which made this a very hard read to get through, and I nearly thought about DNFing it about halfway through. I might pick this back up again in the future, but as of now, I don't think I will.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC of To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods. This story was odd to me and hard for me to get into. The writing itself wasn’t bad in my opinion, but the plot and characters weren’t too appealing to me. Antony never grabbed my attention much as a love interest so I wasn’t sure what it was that kept drawing Ruying to him…I mean other than the fact that he had her under his literal control as his assassin or she would be risking the lives of her sister and grandmother. I just couldn’t connect with the characters and I found it hard to connect Pangu with Rome with very starkly different worlds. I found it jarring every time I read about a gun being used just because it felt so weird being in Pangu, but that could’ve been the point Chang was trying to make. I am curious as to what will happen next and I hope Ruying and the Phantom serve Rome what they deserve.

I felt like the concept was pretty ambitious for a debut. The world mixing ancient Chinese and Roman with modern science technology felt a little confusing for me. The pacing was pretty slow at the beginning and the author hopefully will notice she needs to show and not tell. Who knows maybe with the second book it’ll get better with the world developing and character development

This book was a little slow to start, but once it took off I enjoyed it. Seeing the parallels of colonist behavior and thought is very prevalent, from over-mining, climate change, pollution, dehumanization and more

Ruying is a strong and stubborn main character, but I am glad we are able to see her path and the choices she made which led to her situations. Her love for her sister and grandmother are at the center, but you can see her change in mindset and eventual growth throughout the book. You see how she also falls victim to the Roman-supremist thinking, justifying it with keeping her family safe, but then the growth of how this potential war is about so much more than her or her family. Baihu was an interesting character to keep appearing in the story line, as he is the closest thing she has to comparison of the betrayal of her people, and judges herself on a scale against him.

And of course I chuckled at names like Valentin, Augustus and Cassius— that just felt right to name the bad guys those names.

It left on a cliffhanger, making me hope (🤞🏼) there will be a second book!

Thank you NetGalley for this ARC and the publishers as well.

Due to circumstances surrounding this book and it's publication, I will be choosing not to read or review this title on any of my platforms. One reason is some content inside the story that I was not aware of at the time of requesting, like that it is a colonizer romance (arguably, but this is something I am choosing not to read at this time). As well as the behavior by the author for negative reviews. I've linked below a post by other creators explaining what they feel has happened, and as such this does not make me want to feature this book or this author on my page. I look forward to future Del Ray releases.