Member Review

I’m fascinated by how poorly we communicate. I have watched conversations where one party believes they are chatting about one topic and the other is saying something opposite and neither side can figure out what the other is talking about – or both believe they agree. Written words are not much better. Texting and social media have made this area even more complex.

I read Supercommunicators to see if there was a way to learn to avoid common pitfalls.

Duhigg’s newest book may indeed help you to improve your communication. He steps the reader through what he’s identified that makes some individuals super communicators, provides many example anecdotes as well as reviewing current research, and offers tools to apply. There are guidelines for hard conversations and even some guidance for online discussions (good luck with them).

In theory it’s simple and he posits that each conversation needs to answer three key questions: what (is it about), how (do we feel), and who (are we to connect to the discussion and find common ground). To be a super communicator is to continuously loop through these three questions during the conversation and stay attuned for changes and adapt as necessary.

Personally, I found the Afterword and, specifically, discussion of the Grant Study at Harvard the most fascinating. I’m intrigued by loneliness and its far-reaching effects on health. However, it is the lessons throughout the text which can be useful for those working to find more meaningful conversations no matter one’s age or interests.

This is the sort of book one can skim or read cover to cover. A quick read can give you quick tips and a deeper one will help you better understand and become a super communicator.