Embarking on an intimate odyssey, Emily intertwines the emotional tapestry of sexuality and desire with an exploration of the intricate neuroscience behind our most profound connections—a journey that promises both enlightenment and a deeper understanding of the human experience.

I read and absolutely adored the previous book Come As You Are. I’d give that book 10 stars. With how impactful it was on my life, I was so excited to receive an ARC of this new release. However, I would say this book is an extension of the first. The narrative was stagnant, presenting the same ideas repeatedly, resulting in a lackluster and uninspired reading experience.

3.5 stars, rounded up. This book was extremely helpful for me, but I think it might be a bit basic for others! Depends on where you and your long term partner are at, either together or separately.

Nagoski does a great job of simplifying something as complex and sometimes intimidating as sexuality, and she really makes you think about where you currently are. She has some great tips on how to examine how you relate to your sexuality, and when it does and does not come into play.

My biggest critique is that this book feels a little surface level, and I think that's because the topic as a whole is complex. She has a chapter on trauma, but it feels like it could be a book on its own. She doesn't seem to get into the nitty-gritty of things, and I think that will disappoint some people. This book is meant for someone who is just starting to think critically about how they relate to their sexuality in their relationship, and its a great starting point.

Thank you to Ballantine Books and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

I enjoyed Nagoski's first book much more than this one. There is good information here, but my expectations may not have been accurate.

An excellent book about long-term relationships and sexuality. Very approachable. Easy to consume. Great ideas. Excellent overall book.

A little above high school students, but would recommend to my married friends. Lots of practical and solid advice. The importance of listening to your partner, how to take out the “chore” aspect as responsibilities pile up, and a reminder that “skills” in the bedroom come from knowing and learning your partner rather than assuming. I received an advance review copy for free via Netgalley (THANK YOU) and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Come Together by Emily Nagoski, PhD

Published: January 30, 2024
Ballantine Books
Genre: Sexuality
Pages: 356
KKECReads Rating: 4/5
I received a copy of this book for free, and I leave my review voluntarily.

I haven’t read Emily’s first book, but I might have to add it to the TBR. The dedication and passion that went into bringing this to life is apparent from page 1.

This book will mean different things to different people and connect where applicable. I liked Emily's conversational style and the way she speaks so her readers will understand.

This is not a book you dive into and read straight through. There were many moments when I had to stop to marinate with the information. I like it when a book makes me think, and this makes me think.

My perspective is different, as I am not in a relationship. But the advice throughout this text will absolutely serve as a guide in the future. I love that the overtones were strongly infused with trust, communication, and being attentive to your partner in more than just the physical. But also the physical.

The examples and anecdotes were well placed, and I find myself wanting to discuss this book with others who have read it. I would love to hear what couples have to say.

i read emily nagoski’s first book “come as you are” a few years back and was excited to see this one billed as the follow-up. i thought this was a good read, full of interesting tidbits on mental and emotional states, adaptability, and relationships in the context of everyday life. 4 stars because i thought the first half was a bit of a slog at times and the vignettes of certain couples’ “conversations” were cheesy as hell more often than not. overall solid read though!

thanks to netgalley and the author for an ARC in exchange for my honest review!

Thank you again to the publishers and Netgalley for the early review copy. This is my first venture into Dr. Nagoski's work after knowing of her from Come As You Are. In the end, I don't think I was the audience for this book--many of the truisms she shares throughout the book are ones I did not need to be reiterated to me, although I can definitely see how her presentation of them would be revelatory for the right person. The ending especially faltered for me after we hit the gender chapter. I did walk away with some nuggets to consider though and would be interested in reading more from her in the future.

I feel seen! This book is speaking to me and helping me answer questions and work on myself. What a great way to start the new year. I've delved into Emily Nagoski's first book Come As You Are as well.

This is an okay book. I feel like I learned something new, and there’s some helpful advice here and there, but some parts are just too long and not very helpful. I like that all chapters end with a tl;dr section summarizing the main topics - that was helpful for those less interesting chapters. Overall, I think is worth a read, and particularly if you can get your partner to read it as well.

As a Sexuality Educator with a focus in Asexuality I was thrilled with the inclusiveness of this book and how Emily made space for people to just not want sex and to have different ways of accessing pleasure and arousal. When social scripts around sex often mandate a level of desire or attraction it can be very difficult to envision a relationship that doesn't follow those scripts. This book explores different ways couples may connect and access pleasure and joy in their relationships and how to move into a space of shared sexual connection for those who find such connection fulfilling. This book is sure to be the go-to guide for people in long term relationships who want to prioritize shared pleasure without the pressure of performance or obligatory sex.

Great info and advice! I appreciate that a rarely talked about subject was given the spotlight in this book. Great for couples and having conversations.

Thank you NetGalley and Emily Nagoski!

I enjoyed this book. Nagoski is like a thoughtful older sister who brings the reader back down to earth. She demystifies and debunks the myths that pervade women's sexuality culture and leaves us comparing ourselves to unrealistic expectations.

I have not read any of Emily Nagoski's other books, so I didn't know what to expect. I thought this was a good approach to a topic that many may find taboo or have been told was taboo. It's great for couples to read together and discuss all the topics in the book. This is a book that has something for everyone. There may be some things that you don't relate to but that is quickly followed by something you do recognize in yourself. I think the most important statement she says is that we are not broken if we don't want sex all of the time or if we do want it all of the time and that it's okay to be "different." Recommend this for anyone but especially couples that have been together for a long time. Communication is so important as time goes by.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for advanced copy, and I give my review freely

This is more than just a book about having a healthy sex life in a long term relationship, it contains advice on maintaining a healthy long term relationship just in general. Which makes sense the more you think about how there are different levels of intimacy and what intimacy means to each person.

Overall, this is not a one size fits all. There will be topics and advice in this book that won’t apply to you, as that happened to me. There’s a chapter in particular that uses a house as a metaphor that no matter how hard I tried just didn’t really feel revolutionary to me so maybe I didn’t fully get it. That being said, this has facts and wisdom I’ve happily highlighted that I think is great advice. I also found this to be inclusive- with the caveat that like the author I am also a white woman so take that for what it’s worth.

I personally haven’t read Come as You Are so I can’t compare if this imparts new information but I found it very informative and well written. If the blurb intrigues you at all I’d give it a read, it’s not overly clinical either and easy to understand. Thank you to Random House/Ballantine Books for this eARC.

While I’m not in a long term relationship, I liked Nagoski’s previous books and writing style and wanted to see what else she was researching. I almost think the two parts in this book should be flipped as I found part 2 to be the more elementary/science background of the two while part 1 was the more practical application. I will say I found the gender sections to be a bit reductive - while it’s one perspective, sure, I think saying inconsistencies amount to societal messages is a broad generalization. Overall this book was a bit of a skim for me at this point in my life but maybe would be helpful down the line.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A great read and reminder for folks married more than a few years but probably not long term. Some great information for reigniting that spark and actively working to connect with your partner. Thank you for the ARC!

This is the 2nd book of the authors that I have read (The first being Come as You Are). I find her candor and insights on sexual intimacy to be informative. While some of her couple and problem examples didn’t relate to me personally – I do think that this book has enough helpful insight and tips that made it worth reading. Thank you to Netgalley and Ballantine Books for the Advanced Reader Copy!

As someone who has struggled with intimacy in marriage for years, I appreciated the practical advice in this book. We are given various scenarios and examples of the advice given, so we aren't left wondering how to.

I loved how Nagoski recontextualized trust and trustworthiness. I love that we are able to see how a foundation of intimacy fuels a successful long term relationship. This book would also be great for those people who are younger and more inexperienced in sex and intimacy as well as family and marriage therapists.

Well researched and written- and probably most useful to those who have been married for around 10 years or less or those who are at the beginning of a relationship. There's some good advice and it's got a generous spirit. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC.