I enjoyed this book. I was excited to learn about ways to keep sex alive in long term relationships.
Emily Nagocki introduces "rooms" in the brain as a way to visualize how you end up in a lustful or sexual state This allows people to learn more about themselves and understand what they like. Teh rest of the book talks about various ways to take care of yourself and your relationship. These ideas are not new and Nagoski gives credit where credit is due. For anyone who isn't into psychology, etc. this is a great introduction to those ideas.
I believe this can be helpful to all relationships (Nagoski was very inclusive in her book).

I believe this book is going to be HUGE! Just like the previous title by this author, this one has huge potential, and it can be useful for every person out there.
It is very well written, concise, yet deep and informative.

Engaging and accessible. A recommended purchase for collections where sexual health titles are popular.

This was a great tool. I do believe that sexual health is so important to our over all well being. I feel that many place sexual health on the back burner but it really has an important role in our functioning as humans.
I think that this book brings alot of truths about sexual health and it is important to understanding why it is so important. This author did a great job describing how to truly come together, for the lack of better words.

Thank you Net Galley for this early ARC

As a single person, I came into this book with curiosity and the anticipation that one day I or a future partner will be facing challenges in the sex realm. Even though I’m not currently in a relationship, I did still get some good tidbits from her story like putting my frickin cuticle oil next to my bed because I tend to forget to oil my cuticles until I’m laying cozily in bed and not wanting to get up. Somewhat but not really relevant to the book—decide for yourself after reading ha.

All in all, a very fascinating read that does a good job of balancing research with personal narratives whether that be the author’s or others interviewed for the book.

Very informative, honest and real with an area most everyone would be interested in at some point in their lives. Loved the statistics and knowledge the author shares. Well done.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

I am such a fan of Emily Nagoski's, and this book made me an even bigger fan. I haven't even finished reading it yet, but I'm planning on buying a copy when it comes out so I can underline as I read. This book is clearly and concisely written, builds off of her previous work without being repetitive, and is fun and engaging to read.

I began reading this alone, but after I had the repeated impulse to send entire sections to my husband of approximately one trillion years, we decided to read the book aloud together.

Its structure follows the same pattern in each chapter: an idea, data, sometimes a story about a couple the author knows, a TLDR, and some suggested questions for yourself and your partner. We worked through the book slowly, to avoid burnout. While neither of us particularly had complaints in the area of our sex life, reading this together and working through the questions at the end of each chapter, gave us a shared “third thing” to turn towards.

In particular, I am still thinking about how Nagoski recontextualized trust and trustworthiness for me. It genuinely blew my mind and I immediately sent the ideas to my therapist for discussion. The chapter on the gender mirage has been similarly useful as a lens through which to view so many other ways we engage.

The one place where Nagoski lost me/us from time to time was the examination of specific couples. The scenes she described where she was participating in the conversation felt a little self congratulatory of the ideas presented and almost like missed social cues, if the conversations proceeded as written. It just created a bit of cringiness where the anecdata could have been communicated with fewer stage directions.

I’d recommend this first and foremost directly to my therapist; then to people in long term relationships. With the exception of one chapter (which focuses on a very specific dynamic in cis/het relationships), the book is incredibly inclusive in its language and its consideration of many different relationship structures.

A big thanks to Netgalley for an advance copy of this book!

Although this was a slower paced read for me, I love the direction in which this book was focused. It gets to the foundation of why a physical connection is so important in a relationship. The numbers do not matter and it’s all about the satisfaction with yourself and choices as you explore the other person physically and emotionally.

Thank you to #Netgalley for a chance to read this in exchange for an honest review!

I loved Come As You Are so I was really excited for this book, and it did not disappoint! I love the thoughtful research put into understandable terms.

I absolutely loved this book. I found it super interesting and I feel like it's helpful for people to read and think about even if you're not in the midst of an active problem you're trying to solve. Nagoski takes a radically open approach to things like sex, desire, and gender, and really breaks down a lot of the socially ingrained things people think they "should" feel or do with regard to sex. This is a perspective I think everyone needs to hear, and I took a lot of notes. Each chapter also helpfully has a tl;dr at the end so you can reference key points later.

Thank you to Netgalley and Ballantine Books for the chance to read and review this ARC.

This was an informative and approachable book. It is different from my usual fare, and not everything in it is for me, but I think it could provide helpful information for lots of different people. As a married parent, spontaneous desire can be challenging, so I appreciated Nagoski's affirmation of the validity of responsive desire. There were specific strategies like the "emotional floorplan" that are great practical take-aways. Yet for a book that prides itself on being science-based, there were some aspects that didn't strike me as especially scientific (i.e., lines like "You are already perfect,") but that's where the "Art" part of the subtitle comes in. Nagoski has a unique and often enjoyable writing style that makes her writing approachable and compassionate. While the book struck me as maybe longer than it needed to be, I really appreciated the bite-sized summaries and questions at the end of each chapter. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for this free eARC; I was not required to provide a positive review in exchange.

Dr. Emily is a genius. This book is the peer-reviewed resource that we need! Full of practical advice delivered in a non threatening way, this book is a must read.

“Come Together” is a non-fiction help book by Dr. Emily Nagoski. Yes, the title is a bit humorous because it is about sex, but it’s sex in one’s mature years. It was interesting because as I was reading the preface, Dr. Nagoski mentioned that there were three things to a lasting sex life and immediately I stated two things - which turned out to be two of the three things mentioned (go me!). Dr. Nagoski has done a lot of research in this arena and presents in a pretty science-based but easily understandable way how to have good long term sexual connections. This book was a titch too long for me, but I can understand why some people might need a more thorough explanation. This was an interesting book.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC!

This is my second book by this author, I loved Come as You Are so I had to pick this one up too!

As always, this author brings research and facts but also makes me feel seen as a woman.

Come Together is a deep look at sex in long-term relationships. The book is filled with scientific facts, anecdotes and an informative and non-judging tone. This is a must read for all couples looking for great advice and new ideas to keep their relationship fresh and sexy!

In "Come Together," Emily Nagoski, PhD, once again delivers a groundbreaking exploration of human sexuality, this time focusing on the often-misunderstood realm of sex in long-term relationships. Building upon her earlier work in "Come as You Are," Nagoski dives deep into the complexities of maintaining a fulfilling sexual connection with a partner or spouse.

Nagoski offers readers a profound shift in thinking – it's not just about how much sex you have or how frequently, but rather, it's about whether you truly enjoy the sexual experiences you share. What sets "Come Together" apart is Nagoski's ability to demystify the truth about sexual satisfaction. She steers us away from the notion of "spontaneous desire" as the ultimate goal, advocating for a deeper understanding of what truly drives satisfying and lasting sexual connections. She provides readers with invaluable language and tools to navigate conversations about desire and arousal with our partners, dismantling the stigma around fluctuating libido.

She discusses the obstacles that hinder sexual enjoyment, ranging from stress and body image issues to relationship complexities and societal expectations. Additionally, she presents practical strategies for overcoming these barriers, helping readers create a blueprint for a fulfilling sexual life within the context of their unique emotional and relational dynamics. She approaches the topic with a sense of humor and compassion that truly makes this an educational and entertaining read.

This book is a game-changer for those looking to cultivate lasting and fulfilling connections with their partners. Thank you to the author and publisher for the opportunity to read.

"Come Together" by Emily Nagoski, PhD, is an illuminating guide that takes a fresh perspective on the often misunderstood topic of maintaining a fulfilling sex life in long-term relationships. Building on her groundbreaking work in "Come as You Are," Nagoski dispels common myths surrounding sex, debunking the notion that desire inevitably wanes as relationships endure. Instead, she focuses on the essence of sexual satisfaction and the importance of enjoying the intimacy we share.

This book goes beyond mere frequency, delving into the quality of our sexual experiences. Nagoski skillfully dismantles barriers to sexual enjoyment, addressing issues ranging from stress and body image to relationship dynamics and societal expectations. With scientific rigor, wit, and empathy, Nagoski provides tools to foster lasting sexual connection. Readers will discover the importance of understanding emotional nuances, communicating with partners, and cultivating a sexy state of mind for a vibrant and enduring sex life. "Come Together" is a compassionate and insightful roadmap to unlocking the potential of great, lifelong intimacy.

Come Together is an informative, non-judgmental, and accessible look at sex in long-term relationships. The author offers compelling scientific research and anecdotes to illustrate her points and she very helpfully summarizes key takeaways at the end of each chapter. While the focus may be on sex in long-term relationships, I think many of the lessons are more broadly applicable to anyone wanting to better understand their bodies and their emotions and experience more pleasure and connection.

Thank you very much to Random House Ballantine and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a copy.

I LOVE LOVE LOVED 'Come as You Are,' by Emily Nagoski, and knew that I needed to read her newest installment.

Same great balance of science and anecdote. Nagoski does a fantastic job of explaining concepts, and reframing them in various ways to make sure that it is understood.

My only qualm with this book is the assumption that even if you don't desire sex, it is worth it if there is pleasure. Desire is very different for different people and I don't love the message that you should try to make sex a regular part of your life if you do not desire it.