I seriously sat down with a highlighter ready to learn how to best parent my teenage daughter. And I highlighted a lot. My daughter has the unfortunate position of being a middle child, sandwiched between two very outspoken boys. We always say she’s shy or quiet but this book really helped me recognize that she has so much to say but is rarely given the chance to say it. I feel armed with tools and language to help her use her voice.

You can tell Goodan has so much care and respect for the teens she knows and for teens as a class of people. Teenage girls are powerful and capable and living under so much pressure!

In UNDERESTIMATED Chelsey Goodan utilizes her past experiences as an academic tutor and mentor for sixteen years to share "The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls." Stressing that "teenage girls feel profoundly misunderstood all the time," Goodan begins with a chapter on Feelings which echoes much of the advice in Charles Duhigg's recently published Supercommunicators and that, basically, is to listen (even ask what is needed) rather than immediately try to advise or fix a situation. Goodan calls this "holding space" and illustrates its application in a subsequent chapter called Choice where she facilitates the purchase of an alarm clock to help with chronic tardiness. A few examples of other chapter titles (there are over a dozen) are those which deal with Perfection, Friends, or Identity. Goodan acknowledges that this work is TOUGH and she includes a Feelings Wheel in Appendix 1 plus a "guide in Appendix 2 that explicitly gives you words to expand conversations and five realizations at the end of each chapter to develop connections not only with teenage girls but also with yourself and others." While Goodan acknowledges that her text is not clinical or academic, she does include bibliographic notes which comprise about five percent of the text. There is valuable information here (particularly those questions) although the teenage voices are not as vibrant as I had expected. UNDERESTIMATED is written for involved adults (teachers, coaches) and parents; it may be most valuable if its first reading is before the teenage years. Otherwise, those experiencing conflict and miscommunication may find the tone too "preachy."

As a parent of teenage girls and a person who works with teenagers, this book was such a breath of fresh air. So many books about parenting teenagers, especially those that feature teen girls, are focused on the negative and a need to change and discipline every aspect of teen's very being. To see Goodan highlight the truth behind the sometimes prickly exteriors.

Covering topics ranging from beauty to sex to academics and back again, I wish this could be required reading for anyone parenting or working with adolescents. The combination of anecdotes, research and helpful summaries makes each chapter a standalone "manual" to understanding the lives of today's teens. Once insight into the often unexpressed inner lives of girls is explored, the reader is offered simple, actionable tips for communicating openly and respectfully with a group that is often relegated to the receivers of lectures, criticisms and dismissals.

Just an overall fantastic read that I will be sharing with all my fellow parents and girls and the girls themselves.