Member Reviews
Helpful, easy to immerse yourself in, and illuminating. The author dissects the ways we can feel shame for things beyond our control and gives concrete tools to overcome it. I enjoyed the anecdotal style.
It is almost impossible for me to quantify how much Dr. Price’s research, online presence (especially Medium), and books have meant to me the past several years. To say it has been lifechanging may appear trite, like click-bait, although it is the most accurate reflection of my experience.
My choice to read “Unlearning Shame: How We Can Reject Self-Blame Culture and Reclaim Our Power” (Harmony, 2024) was purposeful, and filled with equal parts inquisitiveness, anticipation, and fear for what new layers I might peel back away from myself again.
Dr. Price’s goal in “Unlearning Shame” is to eradicate the role of shame as an individual feeling (of less than, not good enoughness, or a reason we beat ourselves up repeatedly). He suggests we recognize shame is systemic. The messages we receive are not just from one person, but from a capitalistic, patriarchal society that benefits from quashed women/trans/nonbinary people feeling horrible about their experiences so that they buy more goods to feel any kind of better.
One recommendation to combat Systemic Shame? Expansive recognition. And even reading the first few paragraphs about Dr. Price’s reasoning behind the name, will make you wonder if you have people who see you in an kind, accepting light.
Thank you kindly to Dr. Price, Harmony, and NetGalley for the eARC.
Not to dispute the title of the book, but this book is substantially about learning about the concept of systemic shame and how understanding that can help you overcome personal shame by embracing what the author refers to as expansive recognition (an awareness and acceptance of one's position in the larger social world.)
It's a very powerful concept and it reminded me of the feeling of wonder and power of first learning about invisible labour (which ended up being truly life changing for me). It also reminded me of Ijeoma Oluo's Mediocre, which was a testament to the idea that none of our systems are broken - they are all working precisely as they were designed to do.
Basically, it's not imposter syndrome or laziness or a collection of personal failings, it's patriarchy, white supremacy, capitalism etc
Another theme in the book that really struck me was how shame (and systemic shame in particular) can drive us to focus inward when the real power is in community and connection. It has really inspired me to reflect more on this idea and consider how I can shift my energy and focus to leverage this reality to make positive changes in my life and my community.
Some content notes around transphobia, sex and drug use. The author shares some raw and uncomfortable personal examples to illustrate some points and I found a lot of power in that vulnerability as an illustration of the points he was trying to make.
I read this book over several months (because that's often how I read non-fiction with my eyes) and I've been reflecting on a lot what I've read over this time. I think I'll be taking away some valuable journaling prompts and a new lens through which I can filter my personal priority setting.
Unlearning Shame was another absolutely fantastic effort by Devon Price. As an autistic person myself, there was so much here that spoke directly to me, but the exploration of shame and how to overcome it will be fascinating for anyone.
While it's obvious that this book is well researched, I found myself skimming a lot of it. I felt like I wasn't truly the target audience for it and kept waiting for it to tell me how to do something with the knowledge of shame rather than just telling me what it was. 2.5/5
I probably wouldn't have picked this up since i don't read a lot of self help books. However i really enjoyed Unmasking Autism, and so when i was invited to read this one I thought i would give it a try! I read it quite slowly over about a month which i think was the ideal way to read this book because it allowed me time to think through the content as i was reading it. I really enjoyed it and would definitely recommend picking it up! I found the writing style very straightforward and easy to understand, and appreciated the guiding questions that were included as prompts to have you consider how the contents affects your own life.
Dr. Devon Price identifies, defines, and explores what he calls Systemic Shame and its negative impact on how many of us function and make sense of the world around us. I appreciated how he contextualizes many issues within late stage capitalism, for example, and points out how this serves to perpetuate systems of oppression and harm. While it is important to take personal account of our behaviors and actions, taking on an outsized responsibility often leads us down unhelpful or even destructive paths that lead to further isolation when what we really need is community. I liked his definition of Expansive Recognition as a way of moving through the shame and into a more self-kind space. "Expansive" is one of my favorite words to use in therapy, so we seem to be on the same page with that!
Thank you to Net Galley and Rodale for the ARC in exchange for my honest review. This book is a good resource to learn about shame in our society and how it can affect all of us. Shame can lead to self-hatred and a feeling of disempowerment. The author does a thorough overview of our shame-based culture and the various types of shame people experience, systemic shame - the origins and how it puts the blame on use instead of a faulty system, radical self acceptance connection, and how we find our place in the world. The author also shares his personal stories of his childhood and coming out as queer then transgender and finally transitioning. Along these steps, there was shame from family, friends and the world. Throughout the book their are checklists, questionnaires and exercises to help the reader process their thoughts about certain issues. Having read most of Brene Brown's books on vulnerability and shame, there was alot of overlap in the information in this book. But, I think this goes a bit deeper for those who want more information on gender issues and shame.
I absolutely LOVE Price's writing, two of their past books have changed my life. I went into this one with high expectations, I just could not get into it. Multiple times I've picked it up and multiple times I get stuck around 15% in. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the free advance copy.
I really wanted to love this book. I adored Devon Price's last book Laziness Does Not Exist.
I also want to acknowledge that working with shame is hard. Writing a book about shame is even harder. And writing a book to guide others to unlearn shame is perhaps one of the most ambitious topics to tackle in the realm of psychology!
The challenge I had with this book is that it didn't have as much of a coherent through line as I would have liked, and so I found myself skimming. It was well researched in many places, but the personal narrative and the research didn't flow as smoothly as it had in Laziness Does Not Exist. This feels in part because the nature and expressions of shame are so sprawling that it's difficult to wrangle into a single book.
That said, there are some helpful nuggets... but its impact for me was limited because it was so broad.
Devon Price brings a unique perspective to all of his books due both his background in social sciences and his own personal experiences. Unlearning Shame is a difficult but necessary book to read because it tackles one of the core feelings at the heart of a broken system. Shame is topic that most would rather avoid and while there are other people that have famously approached the subject, Price broke down the subject into different layers that helped me understand how shame might look different on individual, interpersonal, and systemic levels. This approach made the subject easier for me to digest and accept the feelings that were triggered by reading about such a heavy topic.
Price's interweaving of scientific and personal experience smoothed the way for me to process information from the book and provided great incentive to implement his suggestions for healing the shame that binds us. Overall, this book comes at a great time for change, healing and improvement on all levels from the personal to systemic. I look forward to heaving Devon Price's voice on more related topics in the future.
Thanks go to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced e-reader's copy in exchange for my honest review.
This was a really interesting deep dive in to on of the things we like to think, and talk, about the least. I appreciate Price's thorough research, accessible narratives and approachable activities. It took a while to get through, felt like a couple of long and intense therapy sessions, but it's something I'm sure I'll come back to time and time again.
Thank you for the opportunity to read this book. It’s obvious a great deal of research went into this book (all of the citations!), however, I found parts of it tough to follow. I enjoy “self help” books, but this one just didn’t quite hit the mark for me.
As always, my disclaimer is that I hope every self-help book will help somebody, even if that wasn't me. And this one wasn't.
This book is all over the place. It starts to talk about one topic, then jumps to a personal anecdote or interpretation. Some chapters have 70 citations; others have 20. The case studies of other people are not followed through in a consistent way.
It seems like Dr. Price actually should have written a memoir. Otherwise, a good developmental editor could have helped a lot here.
Thank you to the publishers and NetGalley for the opportunity to review a temporary digital ARC in exchange for an unbiased review.
This remarkable book sheds light on the intricate concept of Systemic Shame, a societal construct compelling individuals to shoulder undue responsibility for their circumstances. The narrative critiques prevalent ideals such as the belief in individual hard work as a panacea for poverty or expecting marginalized communities to single-handedly combat systemic oppression. It even challenges the notion that resolving global crises, like climate change, rests solely on individual actions.
Dr. Price's narrative is enriched by their personal experiences, notably navigating the complexities of their transgender identity. Yet, Unlearning Shame doesn't merely dwell on the challenges; it introduces a compelling concept—expansive recognition. This entails understanding one's role in the broader social framework.
The antidote presented to Systemic Shame transcends individual boundaries. Dr. Price provides readers with a comprehensive set of exercises and resources, addressing shame at the personal, interpersonal, and global levels. The book emerges as a guide to healing, offering tangible steps for sustainable personal growth.
What distinguishes Unlearning Shame is its sophisticated yet pragmatic approach. Dr. Price not only engages with theory but also equips readers with practical tools for implementation. The book becomes a compass, navigating through the complexities and fostering a sense of empowerment to reject despair and instigate lasting change.
Unlearning Shame is a thought-provoking and sophisticated guide for those seeking liberation from societal norms, embracing authenticity, and actively contributing to positive social change. Dr. Price's insights, coupled with practical tools, position this book as essential reading for those navigating the complexities of adulthood.
Thank you to Netgalley and Rodale Inc., Harmony for the chance to read this ARC in exchange for a review
Thanks to NetGalley for the free advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
While this book proved very well researched and so the some very compelling arguments and noteworthy aspects, I found myself skimming a lot as I’m just not the target audience. Yes I picked up on a lot of viewpoints and notes and I’m pleased I read it, but as someone who has never been particularly the center of systemic shame (impacted of course in the myriad ways our entire society is but never overly defined by it) it was informative but just not my thing.
From a writing standpoint, I have a pet peeve of nonfiction that likes to tell me what the books is about to do (“In this chapter we’ll discuss XYZ” or “in the next chapter we’ll talk about XYZ”) and this phrasing was used rather constantly. A small thing but clunky for me.
While I believe people will find Unlearning Shame helpful, I found it a bit frustrating. I think my frustration comes from the fact I didn't mesh well with the writing style as well as that the book felt like I was listening to a tiktok "therapist" who focuses on more generalities.
This was an excellent read. As a trans person I particularly appreciated its vulnerability, and approach to otherwise delicate issues. Price took up the shame that trans people feel (while also talking about them being gay), in a way that held systemic shame to account for the ways that we've learned to internalize a great deal of self-hatred. While reading I found myself highlighting passages to return to, feeling like this could easily become the "Velvet Rage" equivalent for a generation of trans folks. I also appreciate the way the author talked openly about their time of de-transition, to de-stigmatize this but also to demonstrate that despite many transphobic folks arguing that it's more common than it statistically is, even when it's undertaken it often comes at a personal cost to emotional wellbeing and takes place because of the privileges that being cisgender confers.
I also greatly appreciated that Price didn't just explore the shame that we're taught through a lifetime to inherit from a cis (or other norm) society, but it's opposites and alternatives. By calling these inheritances systemic shame, the author frees up so much space for trans people. Rather than trying to untangle the causes of shame or get lost in the intellectual exercise of naming so that others might understand us, we can focus instead on doing the work of healing and integration. Equity seeking groups are often called to bring their "whole selves" to spaces but seldom are our whole experiences welcome, where they call spaces and organizations to task to do more than a basic training for people to know what to call us. I highly recommend this book not just for trans people, but for any number of folks who manage organizations where the number of cisgender people outnumber trans folks (as is often the case).
With practical exercises, insightful storytelling, and truly vulnerable writing, I highly recommend reading this book. I'm looking forward to returning to it and absolutely plan on recommending this book for purchase for the public library where I work. Can't speak highly enough of this book, and I'm grateful as a trans person where this book met me at the perfect time on my journey. Thank you for this gift!
I loved Devon Price's earlier work, but I'm less stoked about this one. I do think I would be much more receptive to reading about the concept of 'systemic shame' from an author of color...
Unlearning Shame, by Dr. Devon Price, offers a thought-provoking exploration of Systemic Shame, accompanied by a valuable toolkit for personal growth. The author's insights, particularly on identity struggles, are presented with clarity and depth. I appreciate the opportunity provided by NetGalley, the author, and the publisher to engage with this well-crafted and insightful resource.