"For better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. We say those words and mean them. Until we don't. It turns out, given the right circumstances, none of us are exempt from drifting apart or making bad decisions that lead us to places we never thought we'd go." In New Marriage, Same Couple, Josh and Katie share a powerful story of God's healing work within their own marriage that endured such a season. After an affair that jeopardized the commitment of those vows, the Walters found a way to heal and to recover what could have easily been lost.

While perhaps a bit reductionistic, the couple offers S.T.A.Y. as an approach to marital repair:

Start with me: When one person changes, the entire relationship changes.
Take quitting off the table: Bring your whole self to the solution... there are no shortcuts to wholehearted covenant.
Allow others to be a part of the story: Trust the right people, in the right ways, at the right time.
Yield to vision: You need a destination, an image in your mind, a goal to cling to.
Much of New Marriage, Same Couple is devoted to sharing their deeply personal story and journey through marital unfaithfulness. Yet, throughout its pages, you will find a story infused with hope. It is not only the hope of a better marriage, but it is the hope that comes through the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

At the same time, I found myself looking for something more practical—more tangible—at the end of each section. There is apparently a workbook available to accompany the reading, and perhaps this would provide what I felt to be missing. The book was less a marriage book in general and more a book about the Walters' marriage; and, this could make some of the reading and takeaways difficult to apply to other couples and contexts.

Nonetheless, while there are better marriage books available, New Marriage, Same Couple offered a beautiful story of resilience and strength through a time of what I can only imagine was heartbreaking difficulty. For their transparency and honesty and sharing of God's faithfulness even in the midst of marital unfaithfulness, I am grateful. 

A big thank you to NetGalley and Thomas Nelson Publishing for the advanced readers copy in return for my honest review.

I am grateful for the honesty and openness that Josh and Katie share their story with in this book. Josh and Katie write back and forth about their experience when Katie had an affair with their neighbor and close friend and the impact of this on the rest of their life/marriage. Topics include: trusting your spouse after trust has been lost, confession/honesty in thoughts/actions, how to see the best in your spouse, bringing others in and sharing with others what is going on in your life (not just keeping it hidden and pretending everything is okay), how to cast vision for your marriage and family, and more!

Their encouragement for any couple is found in the acronym STAY:
S—start with you. (Discovering that when one person changes, the entire relationship changes.)
T—take quitting off the table. (Bringing your whole self to the solution and not checking out mentally and emotionally.)
A—allow others to be a part of your journey. (Trusting the right people, in the right ways, at the right time.)
Y—yield to vision. (Looking past what is and imagining what could be.)

It was really sweet to read their story and how the Lord has redeemed such a hard couple of years for them. They use a lot of scripture/biblical stories in their book- however it feels like its popular scriptures/stories that they just put an application for marriage on (in my opinion i question if the context of where they are pulling it on is appropriate to apply it to our culture today. I do believe that many of those scriptures carried them through those hard seasons- I just feel weird when someone applies daniel and the lions den to their marriage (could just be a me thing!) My other bummer was there there is no mention of walking through domestic abuse and next steps there. Even though abuse was not part of their marriage story/journey I still think it is a vital piece to put in a marriage book that you are encouraging couples to "stay"

Overall grateful to hear their story, what they would have told themselves 10 years ago, and all that they can praise the Lord for in the work that he has done in and through both of them.

This book will be available on 1/9/2024. Thank you to NetGalley and Thomas Nelson - W Publishing for the ARC!

Although I’m not married, I’ve learned from Josh and Katie for years. What a real, honest, and transformative work. Readers are given so many action steps on how to reignite their marriage as Josh and Katie share the hardest parts of their story.