This is an honest account of Catherine Coldstream’s time in a monastery. Why did she decide to choose this life? And why did she choose to leave?

This story just proves that politics are in everything, along with jealousy. People are human, even nuns. And even nuns make bad choices and poor decisions. And power definitely plays an intricate part of these decisions. I am sure writing this memoir was very cathartic for the author.

This is a bit slow in places but I enjoyed learning what nuns went through and about their daily lives.

I love a book that is narrated by the author. It just makes it so real. Catherine did a fabulous job telling her story.

Need a unique memoir…THIS IS IT! Grab your copy today.

I received this memoir from the publisher for a honest review.

I wanted to read this book because I've always had an interest in different religions and their customs. We got lots of little details that I enjoyed, but I think the writing style was somewhat off-putting. It felt a bit long and overwritten.

A compelling memoir about life in a cloistered Carmelite monastery in Northumberland, England.

The author suffers a tremendous loss that completely throws her life into chaos and in seeking peace from that turmoil, she finds both God and what she believes to be her calling - joining the Akenside Priory and taking vows [though its not really as simple as that - it takes her almost a decade to finally get to take her final vows] and living a life of poverty, chastity, obedience, and silence. And I believe, that for some time, she was happy there. She found the peace from her father's death, learned to quiet her mind and immerses herself so deeply in the monastic world that she soon forgets what the outside world is really like [this comes into play later, when she decides to leave] and is convinced that she will live forever here at Akenside.

How she lives and all that happens that changes her mind, you will have to read for yourself as this is a story that best unfolds with no preconceived notions and notes. I will say that this is full of Catholicism, so if you are unfamiliar with that religion and all that it entails, this might be harder for you to read, but should absolutely not deter you - just be prepared to maybe have to look some things up, OR find a friend who IS familiar or has grown up in the church that could help you with some of the religious aspects of this book [I find that it is always amazing to learn about other cultures, because being a Nun with a vow of silence IS another culture IMO, and this one really steeps you in it].

Unflinchingly honest and richly detailed, this was one of the better "religious" books I have read in some time. If you have ever been curious about monastic life [whether personally or from a straight-learning POV], this book is for you.

I was also granted an audiobook ARC for this book and I highly recommend going into this book that way. The author narrates and she should look into the world of narration because she was simply amazing. With a straightforward way of telling a story, she has a soft, yet strong [not whispery, just soft, probably a product of her time in the monastery] voice that was just pure joy to listen to. If she ever decides to join the narration world and narrate other books, I will be first in line to read what she has narrated. Very well done.

Thank you to NetGalley, Catherine Coldstream, Macmillan Audio, and St. Martin's Press for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I received an advance reading copy (arc) of this book from NetGalley.com in return for a fair review. Author Catherine Coldstream delves into her years spent as a cloistered nun in England. I have often been curious as to what goes on in a cloistered convent. How do women maintain this lifestyle of prayer and isolation? While I believe Coldstream was honest about her experiences, I also felt she whined a lot starting with the pivotal point in her life when her father died. She was 24 years old at the time and for some reason couldn't get over his passing and this seems to be what prompted her to join the Cloisters. She was not raised a Catholic, but converted to the faith as a young woman. After she joined the convent with her idealized picture of what she thought it should be, she spent ten years there. Even though I was raised in the Catholic faith, I don't think I would have lasted ten minutes! According to Coldstream, your individuality is stripped away and you are required to obey the Mother Superior without question--and sometimes the Mother Superior is a bully. Take for instance, the time Coldstream was beaten by the Mother Superior. Sometime after that, Coldstream literally ran out of the convent and made her way to her sister's house. For some reason that I will never understand, she returned to the cloistered life for another two years. After that, she went through formal proceedings to dissolve her vows with a papal blessing. I am not sure whether Coldstream's experience was common to all cloistered nuns, but it was an interesting read.

I may not be the audience for this book, but cloistered nuns, hermits, etc... have always fascinated me. Not sure what I think I'll find it, but it's interesting. There was a book written, very similar subject, that I recall reading back in the early to mid 70's. Same sort of issues too, I think. Closed orders seem like a very bad idea. They really seem to need more oversight. They also sound very cultish to me.
Book could have been edited a bit better. Writing seemed scattered. But I am sure it will find it's audience.

***Thank you Netgalley for the ARC and opportunity to read and review

Cloisters is a very well written, in depth account of a young woman’s spiritual path. It is beautifully written and so intriguing to read about the nun culture as almost like a secret society.

The writing feels very overwritten, particularly in the first and last chapters detailing the author's “escape” from her monastery.

The author's personality and attitude really irritated me. She is someone who desperately wants to be an extra-special-holy-snowflake. So she joins a monastery - the most extreme kind, of course. Then she discovers that life in a monastery isn't the same as life in heaven and that nuns have flaws. (All nuns except herself…) She judges her fellow nuns harshly throughout this whole book, especially their spirituality, assuming that she just cares more about spiritual things, and they're all shallow and “lukewarm” in their faith because they're not like her. She assumes they don't like her because they're afraid of being “shown up” by her awesome, strong spiritual and mental life. She never points out her own flaws.

Eventually, she leaves the monastery (which, yes, does sound as if it were operating as a cult, not even bothering to follow Standard Catholic Operating Procedures, if you will), and writes this book 20 years later…

Will it surprise anyone that she says she kept her faith, and yet when she talks about God, she follows with phrases like, “or whatever guardian spirit,” and “you might call this power a different name,” etc.?

Sadly, I got the strong impression that the author never actually surrendered her life to <i>Jesus</i> and trusted Him to forgive her sins. She talked a lot about surrendering to the cloister, and about how hard she tried to be good and spiritual, but in the end, it's the breathless, emotional spiritual “high” she seemed to want, rather than a relationship with Jesus, which requires humbling ourselves before Him.

Additionally, I found the book boring and too long. Not much happened, the other “characters” were not fleshed out super well, and I didn't connect with anyone, or feel like I really got to know the people talked about.

Note: There was some brief profanity.

Thank you to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for a copy of this ebook in exchange for an honest review.

First I would like to start by revealing that I also was gifted an audiobook copy of this book. Initially gifted the ebook, I was diligently reading it but just felt like I couldn't get through all of the details and story. It was highly interesting to me as I am a Catholic and my son is in the Seminary, so I was excited to hear more about the religious life, and from a female aspect. Ms. Coldstream did an excellent job in writing and making you feel like you were there sitting beside her in her cell and praying along her side. But I hit a slow down in the book, the details bogged me down and I was waiting for the "ball to drop". So I requested the audiobook and got through it the following day. Of course, the action in the book started to speed up and the peak of what I was expecting to happen surfaced.
I enjoyed this story and the audiobook , narrated by the author was a joy. A sad story of how the institution failed a person and I pray that changes have been made to the system in our current day.

I was raised Catholic and was taught by the sisters at a Catholic grade school. It was in Sister Cecelia’s second grade class that I learned that the terms “sister” and “nun” are not always synonymous. A “sister,” Sister Cecelia explained, is a member of a religious order in which the sisters are actively involved in the world outside their convent which, back in those days, generally meant they worked as teachers and nurses at Catholic schools and hospitals while living in a convent.

Nuns are also sisters and they take religious vows that are similar to those taken by sisters who are not cloistered. The difference is that nuns live apart from the world that exists outside their cloister. They are known as “contemplatives. Some of what they do each day are duties at the monasteries where they live and do assigned tasks like cleaning floors, laundry, or tending the monastery garden. But their primary duty is to pray and they spend much of their days (and nights) doing so. As much as possible, nuns live in their own insular, self-contained, self-sufficient cloistered communities, usually called monasteries.

It’s not a way of life I would have ever chosen for myself, but I’ve always been fascinated by the women who do choose it and why they chose to live a cloistered life, most of it in silence.

I loved this book so much that I read it in just two sittings. Ms. Coldstream is a gifted writer with a beautiful writing style. She doesn’t tag herself as a victim and the nuns in power as villains, which very much differentiates her account of what happened, which in the hands of another writer could have degenerated into a lurid tell-all story worthy of publication only in a grocery store checkout line tabloid. Her account of the situation at the monastery focuses on her of what happened that caused her to choose to leave. She doesn’t sensationalize anything. This is not just a story about a schism involving a group of nuns There is so much more to the story Ms Coldstream has to tell in her memoir, including her reflections about why she made the choice to become a nun, what the process was for her to reach the point at which she became fully professed, and about her everyday life with the other nuns she lived among.

Essentially, this is the story about how an idealistic young woman joined a religious order of nuns for all the right reasons only to see everything go horribly wrong. It’s in part a story about how a monastery which originated with roots in hundreds of years as part of the Catholic hierarchy became isolated from those who were supposed to exert authority over it and turned into something one might call more cult-like than Christ-like. But most importantly, it’s a memoir, told from the author’s point of view of why she chose to become a Carmelite nun, why she left, and what she experienced during her 12 years at the monastery - both the good and the bad.

Had I been able to, I would have given it six stars. I highly recommend it.

As a Catholic woman, these types of stories intrigue me. This type of lifestyle was never for me, but I find it fascinating. Catherine's account of her time at the monastery, and all of the surprises along the way of behavior, is very interesting. It was quite detailed and I found myself skimming over some parts.

Cloistered by Catherine Coldstream is a memoir recounting her journey of joining a convent after her father’s death. It’s a very thought-provoking and insightful peak behind the closed doors of a Carmelite monastery. Granted it’s only one perspective on what life as a nun is like. It was very heavy at times as the author goes through quite a few rough ordeals, which eventually leads her to walk away from the cloistered life. While the author does discuss some of her day-to-day life experiences within the monastery, this book is mostly about her journey of self-discovery. There were a lot of overly wordy descriptions as well as passages about religious views that went a bit too far into the weeds for me. The pacing was so slow, which effected my overall interest in continuing to read it. Overall, it was a very fascinating memoir. I don’t know many people I would recommend this to, if you’re interested in learning about a former nun’s experience then check this book out. Thank you to St. Martin’s Press for providing an eARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

"Cloistered: My Years as a Nun" by Catherine Coldstream is an intense and immersive journey that grips you from start to finish. The book delves into the complexities of a monastic life at Akenside Priory, revealing a tight-knit community initially centered around peace and devotion. Catherine's narrative takes you behind the grille, exposing the struggles, power dynamics, and conflicts within the enclosed world. As she grapples with divine authority mediated through flawed human channels, the story becomes a poignant exploration of personal sacrifice and the consequences of cutting oneself off from the wider world. Despite the heaviness, the book's intensity keeps you glued, making it nearly impossible to set aside. A love song to a lost community and a cautionary tale, "Cloistered" is an admirably honest account that will linger in your thoughts long after you turn the last page.

Thank you NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the copy of Cloistered by Catherine Coldstream. In This House of Brede, a fictional account of a successful woman who leaves the successful life she has built and joins a convent, had a profound effect on me so when I saw this memoir I jumped at the chance to read it. The reality was eye-opening and quite a story. While I knew from the description that Catherine’s sojourn at the monastery would not end happily, the events that led to her flight was an unexpected exposition about what can happen in a “household” of all women. Even though the explanations of deep religious themes dragged for me, and it was difficult to keep track of the timeline, this was a fascinating read. 3.5 stars rounded up to 4.

Who doesn't find nuns fascinating? I am not religious and not an expert on Catholicism so I did feel like I was skimming when it got into the weeds about some religious matters but I enjoyed the descriptions of why she decided to join, how that choice made her feel, day-to-day life was a cloistered nun and then why she ultimately left. I thought the pacing was good and clear. I really enjoyed reading about how the kitchen worked. It was really just an interesting book.

Good, but honestly could have used a few more editing passes in the early stages of writing to clean up the structure. It was sometimes difficult to figure out when something happened chronologically, and she has this weird tendency to present things that were her opinions as universal opinions. Overall a thing I don’t regret having read, but I’ve read more insightful memoirs about high control religious experiences and the writing was better than average but not mind blowing.

(Review is of a free advanced copy given in exchange for an honest review.)

I love reading about the secret culture of nuns, and since this was an actual memoir I was even further intrigued. A young woman in her twenties found refuge in the Catholic Church after the death of her father. She joined the Carmelite order, embracing the silence. Her "cell" which was her assigned bedroom in Akenside Priory was a safe haven, with its large, spare black cross, its white walls, rolling hills of greenery out the window, and most of all- its solitary quiet. However, during her twelve years within its confines, Catherine experienced cliques, politics, unfairness, and power plays.

I felt a bit detached reading the many passages that went into the weeds about the deep religious concepts. It was all "over my head" and I didn't feel like delving into those tenets. There was also a lot of talk about nature because of the locale of the monastery and the necessity of the nuns working the property, tending the gardens. I'm not a fan of extensive conversation and description about nature either. I did feel a kinship with Catherine feeling the peace and quiet of her room, as she gazed out her window at the gentle, rolling fields.

I enjoyed learning about the intake process and inner workings of living the Carmelite order, including the schedules for each day. The person who was the most gifted at cooking quite possibly would not be the one assigned to cook. I loved hearing about the bread baking, mixing up dried milk (because it was cheaper), having a "Little Jug" (a quick, small breakfast eaten standing up before chores), and the half hour set aside for conversation each day. It was very disturbing hearing about some of the diabolical maneuverings.

This book clocked in at just over 350 pages, which felt pretty long. If some of the religious philosophical meanderings and nature talk could have been excised out, I would have enjoyed this memoir even more, as it was a pretty interesting story.

Thank you to the publisher St. Martin's Press who provided an advance reader copy via NetGalley.

Wow. What an evocative, heart-breaking, and ultimately hope-filled account of the author's decade-long experience of monasticism at a cloistered Carmelite monastery in England.

Catherine Coldstream hits it out of the park in her debut spiritual memoir. Cast adrift in her early twenties after the death of her beloved father, Coldstream - having been raised in a largely unreligious Protestant household - suddenly stumbles upon the transcendent, a "palpable love and presence I felt beating at the heart of it. God was as real and alive to me as my own beloved father had been."

So begins her journey of formation and spiritual discernment, which first leads her to the Catholic Church, then to a monastic vocation, and finally to the Carmelite order, a fairly strict, cloistered order known for their focus on contemplation, rigorous asceticism, and (at least in earlier periods) isolation.

We know from the very beginning of the book that the author's experience of the cloistered life will not end well. What we do not know is how and why. We sojourn, alongside the author, as the gleaming "honeymoon" phase of her new, set-apart life gives way to subtle shadows of loneliness, power games, spiritual neglect, and even religious abuse. Along the way, Coldstream never fails bring the texture of this monastic community to life--the murmurations of nun's habits as they swich on the hallway floor enroute to vespers; the sight and smell of cat feces when "the ferals" overran the living quarters; but most of all, the almost tactile concreteness of lived faith. Somehow, Coldstream manages to convey the thoughts and sensations of the elusive faculty of faith in ways that you can almost taste, smell, and feel in your own self. I found her use of detail and metaphor left me awe-struck on many occasions. That the shipwreck of her monastic experience only leads her more deeply into the molten core of faith makes this a book that is largely free of cliche, formulaic ways of writing and speaking about religious experiences.

In a few years' time, I wouldn't be suprised to find this book on the shelf of classic spiritual genres, right alongside the works of Kathleen Norris, Anne Lamott, Thomas Merton, and others. It's rich, compelling, masterfully written.

It also tells a story that, however marginal it may seem to folks who've never contemplated a monastic vocation, is very much needed. Asceticism is very much a black box, a mode of the Christian life in which virtues like wisdom, transparency, gentleness, and compassion are too easily set aside under the guise of spiritual rigour, self-sacrifice, and mistrust of the body and human experience.

Experiences like the one Coldstream recounts - of harsh, abusive, controlling, or neglectful dynamics setting only after an aspirant has made some kind of formal vow or commitment to a monastery - is unfortunately not uncommon in Catholic and Orthodox contexts, even in the twenty-first century when spiritual abuse is increasingly called out in other areas of the Church. Monastic communities also tend to lack adequate understanding or resources to recognize and respond to pre-existing trauma and mental illness of those in their midst, which - especially when mixed with isolation and spiritual control - can have life-destroying consequences.

I will be sharing this title with others I know who have walked a similar path to the author, and who now grieve not only the strange darkness they witnessed behind the closed walls of monastic community, but also the loss of a life's calling that once offered a transcendent sense of hope, purpose, and meaning.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the opportunity to read an advance copy of this remarkable memoir.



Thank you to Netgalley and St. Martin's Press for the opportunity to read and advance copy of this unforgettable memoir.

Catherine Coldstream's Cloistered is a very honest inside look at the turmoil inside a specific cloistered nunnery in the UK. Coldstream went into the cloister to let her faith become the model for her life. The Carmelite order's focus on prayer, work and simplicity seemed tailor-made for her needs. She discovered, however, that some of the women in this particular order had other goals in mind that seemed the opposite of what the order theoretically specified, goals that were destructive and hurtful to the order, and to Catherine personally.

You know from the opening pages that Catherine leaves the order. The rest of the book carefully details why.

An excellent if sobering read.

United States Publication: March 12, 2024

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for this advanced reader's copy. In exchange, I am providing an honest review.
(Of note, I do not assign ratings to memoirs but because NetGalley requests one I have assigned a rating to fulfill this feedback request. Nowhere else I have reviewed this title will there be a rating assigned.)

Shaken to her core after the death of her father, Catherine Coldstream sought solace from her grief in the structure and confines of religion. Making a very thoughtful and committed decision, Catherine became a nun, taking a vow of silence. For the next 12 years, Catherine was a nun at Akenside Priory, a Roman Catholic contemplative convent. Lest you think this was in the 1950s or some long ago era, it wasn't. This was in the 1990s, more modern times, that Coldstream detached herself from the world for God. And it was in the early 2000s that she escaped that silent world back into the noise of life.

Catherine recounts for the reader the way in which she found Akenside Priory and the nuns she would come to be in community with for the next 12 years following her decision to separate herself from the world, and in theory her grief. She recalls the first days, weeks, and months as a novice, living her way toward taking final vows. She pulls the curtain back on how even in a cloistered community politics and power plays can drive how the Priory is run. Conflict surfaces among the various personalities that have entered into this holy union with God and soon Catherine finds herself in the midst of a very divided Priory, fueling the doubts she was already beginning to have about this cloistered life she chose to live. Coldstream finally decides to make a break with her vows and her religion and flees, on foot, the Priory one lonely night, reentering the world she had rejected 12 years before.

This was a really interesting and compelling look into the life of a nun. I think a lot of people are very curious about what it is really like behind those closed doors and Coldstream generously shares her very personal experience. Amazingly enough, many years later she has more fondness than not for the time she spent in Akenside and most of her fellow Sisters, even the ones who she was at odds with. Post-religious life she's married and even still occasionally attends services at her local Roman Catholic parish, which I find fascinating because many people who have been that deep into a religious community generally reject it completely. I would actually love to read a follow-up memoir from Coldstream on her post-religious order life now that she's been living it for as many years as she was in the Priory.

Author Catherine Coldstream converted to Catholicism in a fit of religious zeal mixed with grief after her beloved father's death. She thought that sisterhood in the austere Carmelite order would fulfill her spiritual and intellectual needs. She couldn't have been more wrong. The traditional community valued manual labor over theological study and mindless obedience over spiritual growth. The powerful prioress Mother Elizabeth and her favorites, known as "the gang," made up their own rules and delighted in gaslighting their rivals.

You don't have to be Roman Catholic or know anything in particular about the Carmelite order to appreciate this compelling psychological study of an isolated, dysfunctional community. Many of Coldstream's observations would apply to corporations, clubs, and any other organizations where there are strong pulls towards authoritarian leadership and stagnation in the name of "that's the way we've always done it."

This insightful book is the best one I've read in a long time. Highly recommended.

I received an electronic copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. I was not compensated in any way.