REVIEW: Finding Our Family by Charlie Lyndhurst

Finding Our Family is an uplifting story about blended families and adjusting to big changes. It covers family dynamics and dealing with outside opinions, especially regarding homophobia.

It was great getting alternating POVs from the four family members, so we got to experience everyone’s different perspectives. Each of the characters is engaging and feels so real. Finding Our Family is unique as it deals not only with blended families but also with adult children.

Overall, I enjoyed this book. It is such a heartwarming!

Thank you, Netgalley and Hera Books, for the free advanced copy for my honest review!

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for granting me free access to the advanced digital copy of this book.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for granting me free access to the advanced digital copy of this book.

Finding Our Family by Charlie Lyndhurst is a heartwarming journey filled with emotion and discovery. Lyndhurst's storytelling is compelling, drawing readers into the lives of the characters as they navigate the complexities of family relationships. The themes of love, loss, and reconciliation are beautifully explored, resonating with readers on a deep level. While the pacing is steady, there are moments where the narrative could benefit from a bit more urgency to keep the momentum going. However, the character development is strong, and the emotional depth of the story more than makes up for any pacing issues. Overall, Finding Our Family is a touching and thought-provoking read that reminds us of the importance of connection and forgiveness.

This was a really heartwarming read. I expected to be bored out of my mind, and I was very pleasantly surprised by how invested in the characters I got (it was almost painful to read about their relationships being strained and tested). At the end of the day, I really appreciated how much of an ordinary and realistic read it was— and I loved to see the queer blended family representation.

Although it's not my normal read of a typical 'romcom', I really enjoyed the dynamic of the characters and the whole message of 'not being perfect is perfectly normal';.

I want to give a special shoutout to this particular passage, absolutely great to see and I think the best way someone's tackled this question in books I've read

“Within your relationship, who would you say is the woman, and who the man?’

Jim coughed, spluttered, didn’t know what to say.

Marc, clearly with more practice at this, said very calmly, ‘There is no woman. That is rather the point of a relationship such as ours.’

She peered at him, narrowed her eyes. ‘But surely—’

‘No,’ Marc said firmly.

Jim felt her question was unexpected. Didn’t know what to say. Felt totally knocked for six. He turned to Marc. ‘Well tackled, I’d say.’

‘I’m practised in answering that particular asinine question.”

Bravo!

Overall I give this a solid 4 stars. Again, not my normal fare but I really enjoyed it and I was looking forward to picking up my kindle to pick up where I left off.

Overall, I enjoyed the dynamic of a blended queer family. It felt like there was a lot going on, though, and the story felt a little all over the place at times.

Oops! This one got archived before I could download it! Ugh. Sorry! It sounded really good. I'll try and purchase it soon in order to give it a proper review!

Thank you to netgalley and Hera Books for allowing me to read this book. I loved the idea of the blended family and this story was so good.

I really enjoyed this book. I loved this blended family. The characters were real and engaging with an overall message of acceptance and inclusivity.

✰ 2.75 stars ✰

“However, mostly people are simply people. Kindness costs nothing. Finding what you have in common with others, what you love, so together you can share your joy, is, I’ve found, much better than pointing out differences.”

In a not so perfect community with a not so perfect family, Finding Our Family reminds us that it's okay if we're not perfect. A blended family of sorts that tries to fit into the norm and be accepted, and still fail to be - simply for who they are - it's a portrayal that hits you in the core for how family ties are truly the one thing that will forever be something you can rely on - no matter the circumstances. 😥

“Being a parent wasn’t about who made the child in the first place; it was about love, being there, creating a safe and caring home.”

As awkwardly hard it was to get through at times, there is something shockingly real about this story - the narrative alternates between four varying perspectives, but each holds their own. When Mar and Jim move into Cloverley Green, 'a collection of luxury homes nestled in the countryside in one of the most desirable villages in this corner of Essex' it's a modern step up from their previous lifestyle. Totally different and new residences to this setting - aiming to wash away the past and create a new future together with their children. 🥺 The characters don't exactly start off on equal footing or amenable ground. Matt and Jim both had children of their own from their respective marriages, so to expect Valerie and Alfie to get along right from the start, probably was expecting too much. Especially since just how disagreeable Alfie was! Uff, he was infuriatingly annoying - vexing to no end and just urgh...

But, the charm about their family dynamic is that in the efforts of coexisting - they actually start to become better. 'They both loved their dads. Being a single child had seemed good when he was growing up, but it made relating to someone, living with someone, making compromises, much harder for him and Vanessa. But they’d stuck with it, for their dads’ sakes.' Valerie learns to get along with her stepbrother, despite how annoyed and perplexed she is at his level of success, and Alfie actually became a decent chap. 😅

It was unnerving to see the character growth that was such a natural and believable one - 'that underneath the swagger and the arrogance, and all the masculine bullshit, Alfie had a kind heart.' Aside from his own personal stature becoming a slightly more tolerable one, his sentiments on his father being married to a man - and not being grossed out by it - or feeling sorry for his mother - all these views showed great maturity and growth to it. 'Alfie would always be a man’s man, banter on the building site, flirting with attractive women, but he also knew there were men who put their own spin on masculinity, on being husbands, fathers, boyfriends, brothers, and that’s what kept life interesting, wasn’t it?' 🥺 And I appreciated it. And it was needed - because Matt and Jim were treated with a lot of scorn and fascination - one that didn't seem at all right.

“Or giving too much of a shit, desperate to show us how inclusive they are.’ Marc shook his head.

‘How much they love the gays, and can’t stop telling us about it. Might as well have arrived with a banner – I Love the Gays. Talk about patronising. Well done us, for being so brave living our lives. The pantomime dame. Honestly.”

The writing does not hide any pretense in making it as deeply uncomfortable for both the reader and the characters. I was so mortified at some of the context in which the neighborhood community acted around them - treating them as a novelty, and not even understanding or acknowledging that there is nothing inherently special about them - just let them be. 😢 'Homophobia, old-fashioned views, being in a community where everyone expected to know everyone’s business.'I really felt bad for Matt and Jim - it was so uncalled for - so downright disrespectful and rude. Such demeaning comments and intrusive questions that shamed me to be a human - no one deserves this level of treatment - this mockery of a relationship that they've worked so hard to build up and make their own. 🤨

“Within your relationship, who would you say is the woman, and who the man?’

Jim coughed, spluttered, didn’t know what to say.

Marc, clearly with more practice at this, said very calmly, ‘There is no woman. That is rather the point of a relationship such as ours.’

She peered at him, narrowed her eyes. ‘But surely—’

‘No,’ Marc said firmly.

Jim felt her question was unexpected. Didn’t know what to say. Felt totally knocked for six. He turned to Marc. ‘Well tackled, I’d say.’

‘I’m practised in answering that particular asinine question.”

And still, it's their tour de force that shines - that Marc and Jim know that they're new and might just entice curiosity, but their ability to rise above such disrespectful comments - belittling to fit into a homophobic stereotype and still not feel the need to earn their place, but accommodate themselves to their own liking and what seems fit and appropriate - it really warmed my heart. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 Marc certainly had a tougher time than Jim - some of those hurtful and vile comments by his own neighbors boiled my blood, but it is his family that reminds him of what a good person he is - that regardless of how people see him as - flamboyant or flippantly girly - he is the best version of himself that they love.

“Life is about constant change. It’s how we grow and move on as a society.”

While there really isn't much of a plot, rather the weaving of a story set in one specific time frame that illustrates their new move, I don't think it was quite that bad. The writing is also assuredly very much British! Both in setting and writing - and it was --- interesting. I learnt a lot of different words' interpretations that I wasn't aware of. For example, pukka was a term used quite frequently, so I had to look it up - these days, "pukka" is also used as a British slang word meaning "excellent" or "cool." Fascinating! 😁 Just as much as I didn't know what the Noughties referred to! Well, you learn something new every day. 🥰And suffice to say, while this wasn't exactly a memorable read, surprisingly enough, it had just enough zing to it, to make me wholly invested in reading it. And for a rather fussy reader like myself, I think that is a credit to the author worth mentioning. 👍🏻👍🏻

*Thank you NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I had to sit on this one before actually getting down to writing a review. I really deeply enjoyed the journey of this book, of watching Marc and Jim, Vanessa and Alfie after their big move to the small village for a fresh start.

But reading the book at times was hard. Not at all because Charlie Lyndhurst is a bad writer. His story is fluid, funny and dynamic. But the book has some really head on in your face homophobia that made me so sad to read. To be clear, I think the way the book was written, and the homophobia as portrayed are vital to the story so am not at all saying that it was an issue of writing. It was just personally difficult to work through.

I will say working through it was worth it. The journeys these four characters, and this blended family members, take are beautiful. My heart felt much lighter by the end for having read it.

Thank you very much, Charlie.

It took me awhile to really get into this book, mostly because I struggled to warm up to Vanessa and Alfie. On the other hand, I adored Marc and Jim, and their relationship from the get go. Glad I pushed through though, because it was well worth it!

Marc and Jim move to a new close in an old village, ready to make a new start together with Vanessa, Marc's 18-year-old daughter. Marc adopted Vanessa with his ex-husband; Jim had a son, Alfie, with his ex-wife and only came out when he met Marc. They're married, they have a lovely new house and a family set-up and there's an enthusiastic if confused welcome from a local woman, but ...

Alfie lives a chaotic and hyper-masculine life, hasn't really dealt with his dad coming out and marrying a man, and doesn't really like his interfering step-sister, all organised and bossy. He gets by on charm and blagging. But then it all implodes and he finds himself homeless and jobless and begging his dad to let him stay with them.

Alfie and Vanessa clash and everyone soon finds that living in a small village is not as idyllic as Marc and Jim had hoped. There are some hilarious encounters with locals, especially the woman who is so excited to have gay men in the village that she goes over the top, but hurtful and damaging ones, too. Will they be able to cling on or will they turn tail and leave for the metropolis?

While Marc tries to cope with his role in the amdram society, Jim, who can "pass" more easily for a straight man, having done that for decades, starts to doubt whether Marc is experiencing all that he says he is (hint: he is) and Marc becomes more and more depressed. But Vanessa is slowly educating Alfie in toxic masculinity and is also realising his kind and helpful side, so we hope it will all come out OK in the end. There's a set piece (of course) and a moving Afterword by the author.

A fun read with a meaningful core and some funny as well as difficult moments.

Review out 03 December on my blog: https://librofulltime.wordpress.com/2023/12/03/book-review-charlie-lyndhurst-finding-our-family/

A very sweet and cozy story of a family coming together. I really enjoyed this and would definitely recommend it.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hera Books for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

finding our family is a touching story about blended families, adjusting to big changes and being true to yourself and i found myself really rooting for marc, jim, vanessa and alfie. their growth and development throughout the novel (especially alfie's!!!) was wonderful to see, especially how they came together as a family and were there for each other through hardships. there were definitely parts of the novel that were difficult to read and stomach, but the conflict was resolved and it was very satisfying to see that the people who harmed marc saw the consequences of their actions. overall, i'd say this is a lovely read and i'd definitely recommend it to anyone looking for wholesome and heartwarming stories about family.

This LGBTQ+ fiction novel tells the story of a gay couple who have met and married later in life and are moving their lives (and those of their young adult children) to a rural town which may be slightly less open to their "modern" relationship views (if you can't read between the lines: this conservative small town isn't quite sure what to make of it's newest gay residents). Like any blended family with adult children who did not grow up together - I came from one, I should know, forming a familial relationship with step siblings is not always as easy as it may seem. 18 year old Vanessa can't stand her 23 year old step brother Alfie, who is suddenly homeless and must move in with their parents unexpectedly. Between him and the lack of excitement (and quality internet) in this small town, Vanessa has limited patience for shop keepers who are judgy and don't accept credit cards! This book is filled with little quips and well-developed characters, but also comments on daily life in an adult family. It's a solid 4 star book for me, as I was hoping for just a little more to hook my interest, but overall it's a great book for fiction lovers, especially those looking for a more diverse cast of characters.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me the chance to read and review this book!

I found this novel a little hard to follow at times and wasn't one I rushed to finish. I did relate to Marc in this book personally which was a good element. I found the book lacked in some way. Although it was still enjoyable.

I received this ARC free from the publisher via NetGalley.

I really enjoyed the concept of bonding and figuring out how to make a blended family work, especially with the nuance of a recent coming-out for one of the dads. I do think that having chapters for each of the 4 family members made things either too slow at times or jump around other times. If we would have focused more on both the dads' perspectives, I think it may have worked better. I could be biased though because I genuinely hated the son Alfie for the majority of the book. Overall I think it was a nice story despite how uncomfortable I felt at time with how the village acted towards them.

Charlie Lyndhurst’s book found the perfect balance between being relatable and honest and simultaneously uplifting and heartwarming. This story highlights a newly brought-together family as they start fresh in a small country town. I loved seeing how the characters grow and adjust to their new setting and circumstances throughout the book. They’re each very different people, but they find ways to support each other throughout. This book wasn’t the most action-packed, but it didn’t need to be. It was an excellent exploration of a group of people in different phases of life transition and growth and how those around them help them navigate the uncertainty, newness, and tough moments. Overall, a great read. I was kindly given an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!