Member Reviews

Adored this book so much. The main character, Ted, reading his journey and discovery was so fun and amazing to read.

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Oh I adored this! It started out absolutely breaking my heart (poor poor Ted), but by the end it was just such a lovely tale of being true to yourself. I do think Ted's parents really sucked and could've had more of a tearing down from Ted, but that probably wouldn't be realistic to who he is! It's a great tale of becoming who you are no matter what age you are! Plus a sweet romance too!

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I loved the author's last book so I was very excited for this one. The author has a way of making you fall in love with the main character. The story is charming and lovable and I would love to give Ted a hug lol

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There was so much I really loved about this one, particularly in Cain's world building of St. Luke's. I loved the details of the town and all its inhabitants, and while the story was focused on Ted, the extra little perspectives of Denise and Oskar! The writing style was very comforting and easy to read, and the story by the end was really quite moving, particularly when it came to the gay history (and current gay reality) exposed through Stanley and Oskar.

There were a few tiny cultural things that threw me off a bit, particularly when a character was described as "mixed race" with no other details, all of which I think could be/should be flagged in the editing process. Ted and Oskar's fight also felt a bit sudden, even though I know that's just how these things go sometimes, haha. Overall this was a very warm and lovely read and I was very glad to meet all of these characters.

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My second Matt Cain novel, and almost as delightful as the first one, "The Secret Life of Alfred Entwistle." Cannot recommend enough. One thing I really enjoyed is reading about a middle-aged character having to make some huge transitions. For example, even though Ted, the MC, has been openly gay and in a long-term relationship since his early twenties, circumstances force him to eventually "out" himself in several quite new ways. (No spoilers here, y'all!)

I liked Ted cared about his story and his struggles from the very beginning, and this was a very worthy follow up to "The Secret Life of Alfred Entwistle," one of my top favorites last year. I highly recommend both books!

Many thanks to NetGalley and to the publisher for a digital ARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinions.

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I really enjoyed being in Ted's world. It is not the easiest read by any stretch because much of what the characters had to deal with-homophobia, self-doubt, guilt, betrayal, adultery and the treatment of gay men back in the 50's and 60's as well as in other countries-must be dealt with head on even in a campy sort of rom-com such as this story. Ted hates ice-cream. There, I said it lol. He lives a life that seems to be expected from him from all sides; his parents, his husband, his friends. But when things begin to go sideways, he starts to see what he has missed his whole life--himself! Does he have the courage and the strength to move forward with his own dreams instead of others? The phrase "It takes a village" comes to mind. Campy fun story with some serious discussions.

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4,5* Lovely book

I LOVED reading this book. It took me a little bit to get into it, but once I got into the story it was such a pleasant read. Ted's character development was amazing and shows that of a man who's becoming more and more himself, meanwhile realizing his (recently ended) marriage wasn't all that good. I loved the style of writing: through jumps in time, you would experience parts from Ted's youth, adolescence or marriage, explaining why he would react the way he did in some instances. I found this book was very well informed with queer culture, phenomenons and jargon, which was amazing to see. All in all a very nice contemporary romance with a little sprinkle of coming of age.

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This book surprised me. I don't often read adult romances, even contemporary romances, because I can occasionally find that I can't relate to the characters due to their age, and while all of the characters in this book too are much older than me, I found that I didn't care, it wasn't a factor I particularly paid attention to.
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Due to the age factor, I found, predictably, that I couldn't relate to the characters, but I cared for their story all the same. I found connection with them, and became quickly invested in their story and what they had to say.
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I enjoyed reading about Ted's journey of self discovery, and his relationships with friends and family. I enjoyed going on that journey with him, and watching him blossom as he began to prioritise his own life and his needs and desires without compromising for someone else, be that his parents, his sister, his friends or his husband.
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I also found myself interested in Oskar's story, and Stanley's too. I was keen to find out about their lives prior to meeting Ted, and the life events that led to them finding themselves in St. Luke's.

Thank you to NetGalley for sending me an ARC copy of this book.

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After reading The Secret Life of Albert Entwistle a few years ago by Matt Cain and loving it, I was excited to pick this one up! I enjoy Cain’s writing style. He really has a talent for writing older queer characters which I think is so important to see. So many of the mainstream queer books feature younger characters so I enjoy reading stories where the protagonists are a little older. We are missing so many of these stories because of the AIDS pandemic taking so many queer elders. We need to see more of these stories and I hope Cain keeps writing them.

I ended up listening to this on audio and the time jumps to when Ted was younger were hard to follow on audio. I needed them to have a little bit of a clearer indication that it was in the past.

I thought Oscar’s story was really interesting, especially with his father. I also think it's such an important representation that we don’t see enough of. I enjoyed seeing Ted’s growth throughout the story. Though he did frustrate me at times. Giles was actually awful and I have no idea how he didn’t realize it sooner.

Overall, this is an enjoyable read! Its definitely worth picking up if you are looking for a queer book with older characters.

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When Ted's husband left him he was devastated. Only, after he left, Ted soon began to see just how much his husband had been holding him back. Ted decided it was time for him to pursue his dream of becoming a drag queen.

Oskar knew he was gay from a young age, but his religious upbringing made him question himself. As soon as he was old enough, he left his home in conservative Poland to live life on his own terms. But his guilt followed him.

This story is a journey of discovery. In the beginning, Ted was childlike, deferential and trying to be meet the expectations of everyone around him. Freed from the constraints of his marriage, Ted's real personality begins to break free. Oskar doesn't hide what he is, but he doesn't advertise it either. Then he meets Ted. Together they navigate an exciting, but sometime bumpy, road to finding the person they've each kept hidden, learning to express their true selves.

I had a hard time connecting with Ted. While I understand the author's purpose and what he is trying to get across, I just felt that his character was too exaggerated. It appeared that once he adopted his drag queen persona he never turned it off. I was able to identify much more with Oskar and his struggles to accept himself. His character seemed more complete with more depth. We learn about Ted through flashbacks of his life, but we learn about Oskar from his own thoughts and feelings.

While Ted was good for Oskar, helping him to open up, Oskar was good for Ted, giving him a quiet place where he could just be Ted. I enjoyed the peace of their scenes together.

I appreciate the message the author wished to convey, but there were times I struggled to get through the story. Ted just became too much of a caricature for me and not enough or a real person.

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Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the ARC!

This was my first Matt Cain book and I am certainly a fan now. This new release was an absolute DELIGHT and if you are to read one book during pride month in 2025, I suggest adding this to your to be read. I felt all the feels for the main character's journey to self-discovery and being comfortable with their sense of self - whether that be casual or fab.

My HEART was filled by this book. LGBTQIA+, and our main character Ted proved what an absolute goddess he is during his self discovery process. There is toxic relationship navigation so please be aware in case that is triggering to you. Ted's ex Giles was quite literally just awful and I cannot say anymore about him because it makes me sick to think about how terrible he was to Ted. I definitely highlighted anything Giles said with comments right back at him about how he is just a butt head. On the note of this relationship, there are some mild sexy scenes that are MM.

I was rooting for Ted the entire time, whether this be at a drag show, a vulnerable moment, or feeling like he can't be himself.

I would read this alone for the vibes at the drag show. The culture described down to the drag names, attitudes, everything was so much fun! With that being said -my message for Ted would be JUSTICE FOR GAIL. YOU ALWAYS DESERVED TO SHINE AND I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE.

Recommend grabbing if you want a queer read, love drag shows, love SASS, and long to be fully uninhibited by the demands of society. 4.25 stars!

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When I read the synopsis of this my first thought was how cute of a story this was going to be; but just as one shouldn’t judge a book by the cover nor should one judge a book by the synopsis. While the story sounds cute and uplifting it actually rife with negative self thoughts, emotional abuse, manipulation, and confusing writing.
Ted Ainsworth (of the Ainsworth ice cream empire) is doing his best to love his life. He loves his husband (who puts him down at every turn and has Ted questioning who he really is) and he loves his parents (who bully him into taking over the family ice cream business instead of allowing him to pursue his own dreams). He doesn’t, however, love ice cream. When his husband wakes up one day and leaves him, seemingly out of the blue, Ted has no idea what he did wrong or how to move on. Nearly a month later while watching RuPaul’s Drag Race with his best friend, Denise, he realizes his true dream has always been to be a Drag Queen and with Denise’s help he puts that into motion.
The thing that really killed this book for me was the writing. I think I could have dealt with the negative thoughts, emotional abuse, and manipulation had the writing not been so confusing. It’s written in the present tense with parts of the past intermingled throughout without any warning that we are essentially visiting a memory. The memories come in no particular time order and it was quite confusing in the beginning. Adding to the confusion are the inner thoughts interspersed throughout the narrative, both in scenes with dialogue and scenes with narratives. It feels so unnatural and while I’m sure Mr. Cain was thinking it would give us better insight into the characters, it just comes off as sloppy.
That being said, I loved Ted’s transformation and how he finally started being true to himself.
Overall, I love what Matt Cain was attempting to do with this book, but it just didn’t work for me. Thank you to NetGalley and Kensington Books for an advanced copy of this.

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What a delightful book about family, friends, love and self acceptance. I absolutely loved Matt Cain's ability to describe relationships and how they change and develop. The main character of Ted and his family and friends were relatable, complex and interesting. This was really a great book! Thanks #NetGalley #Kensington

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Thank you to Kensington and NetGalley for the eGalley to review!

This is a story about love in many different forms--but most importantly self-love--and second chances at romance and following one's dreams. Our main character, Ted, comes to learn not just how to live his life without his long-time ex-husband, but how to come to terms with what he truly wants in life and give himself the self-love that he so desperately needs. He's spent too long putting himself on the sidelines for others, doing things that repress his true self and makes him happy, just so he can keep the peace in his relationships. Thankfully, he's given the support necessary to breaking out of these bad habits and to go after something he's always wanted to do--be a drag queen.

Ted has wanted to be a drag queen ever since he had a positive experience at a drag show at nine years old, but he's been afraid of letting that part of himself out of the closet. Giles, his ex-husband, was not exactly warm to more queer aspects of the queer community and so Ted felt he had to hide that in the decades of their relationship. Now that they're divorced following Giles' affair with another man, Ted has the room to finally be himself and recognize just how unfulfilling that relationship was.

Meanwhile, Oskar--Ted's new love interest--is also a repressed gay man but in a different way; he's from an ultra-conservative Polish Catholic upbringing, making him reluctant to live openly as himself. When he and Ted inevitably come together, they both are learning to love themselves as they fall in love with each other. It's a very sweet, realistic romance, but not without its own hurdles, with legitimate commentary in serious conversations. I do quite love Oskar and his determination to learn a new English word each day (it's cute).

I especially love that this is a story centered on older queer characters, in their mid-lives and definitely having midlife crises. We don't have nearly enough of these stories, largely due to the AIDS pandemic taking so many queer elders and would-be queer elders away from us. Now that many of us are becoming these elders, I'm happy to see that being reflected in the stories we tell. It shows that we can live long and fulfilling lives and that we can get happy endings! There's no doubt this story will help inspire many who need it.

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Matt Cain does such a good job at writing sweet, quiet stories about family (found or not) and community. This was truly such a delight to read.

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hank you partner, Bibliolifestyle & Kensington Books for the gifted copy! 🌈📖

The Secret Life of Albert Entwistle was one of my favorite reads of 2023 and when I saw that Matt Cain was releasing a new novel I knew I had to read it ASAP! Becoming Ted is a heartwarming beautiful story of starting over, finding yourself, rediscovering your passion, falling in love and living your truth. It’s full of friendship, found family, healing, queer joy, community and gorgeously fabulous drag queens. Matt Cain has a remarkable way of showcasing the beauty of everyday life while also showing that it’s never too late to start truly living.

I love these stories so much and can’t wait to see what Matt Cain will come up with next!

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You have NO IDEA how thrilled I am that the rest of the US gets to read and love and cherish this book. It is one that will stay with you. I adore Ted. I want to hug him and smother him with my acceptance. Matt, you created beautiful humans in this story. I love them so much.

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Drama, Drag and Ice Cream.

This sweet story is a tasty treat. Becoming Ted is a different type of second chance novel. It is not about a second chance at a lost romance, but a second chance to become the person that you are truly meant to be. Ted believes he has a perfect marriage. When his husband leaves him for another man, and he must rebuild his life, he takes stock and reinvents himself as well. He starts doing the things that he enjoys that he had given up and decides to follow his dreams. He has been stuck living a boring life managing the family ice cream store, and he doesn't even like ice cream. His dislike of ice cream and his dreams for a different career are only a few of the secrets in this story. The main plot is Ted's middle age late blooming coming of age story. There is also a sweet love story and a secondary plot about his love interest, a man who been made to feel that being Gay is wrong and has troubles accepting himself. with Ted's help, Oskar is also finally becoming who he needs to be. Author Matt Cain has included a variety of other characters to add to the fun. I particularly enjoyed Stan, an aging gentleman who provides Ted with friendship, wise advise, and historical background about the early Pride movement. The protagonist may be gay, but the story of finally following your dreams is a universal one.

This honest review was based on a copy of the book which I was thrilled to win in a giveaway sweepstake from the publisher.

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Ich weiß ehrlich gesagt nicht, wie ich dieses Buch bewerten soll, da ich es aufgrund relativ kurzer Ausleihdauer (ohne Verlängerung) nicht lesen konnte.

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One moment, Ted is basking in the perfect Sunday morning and feeling like the luckiest man alive. The next, he’s being unceremoniously and callously dumped by his husband of almost twenty years and left shattered. Once it becomes clear Giles has moved on, Ted confronts the fact that he’s allowed himself to fade away and be content to live in the shadows of other people’s dreams. Groomed to take over the family’s ice cream business and uphold his parents’ “family first” motto, Ted’s never questioned why his dreams and needs are the only ones that have been stifled. Resolved to start living for himself, he decides to do the one thing he’s wanted most since childhood—become a drag queen. With his best friend Denise cheering him on and encouragement from sassy elder gay, Stanley, Ted starts unburying himself.

Oskar fled Poland to live more safely as a gay man, but ten years in the UK cannot erase a lifetime steeped in virulent homophobia and inculcated self-disgust. He’s so fearful, it keeps him closed off from even casual friendship as the specter of ‘will they see’ looms large in his mind. However, he’s tired of being alone and determined to overcome his apprehension. Meeting Ted and feeling an attraction makes Oskar equally exhilarated and petrified to date. Though both men promise to go slow, they quickly tumble into love. However, Ted’s pursuit to be a drag queen is tenuous, and drag amplifies Oskar’s antipathy towards femininity and visibility as a gay man. When the past comes calling for both men, their doubts and unhealed wounds are provoked. Will they lock themselves away again or reach for a fearless future?

Becoming Ted is a charming story about reclamation of self, embracing who you are, and living well in your skin. For Denise, it’s overcoming past trauma and the fear of loving again. For Oskar, it’s uncoupling from decades of the shame and terror pounded into him. And for Ted, it’s removing the chains Giles’ putdowns and his parents’ wants wrapped around his psyche and learning to own his dream. I was hooked from the beginning. The opening made me so curious to discover how someone so in love with being a doormat ends up on a stage to perform, and I enjoyed everyone’s journeys.

Ted learned early on that his would be a life of maintaining the status quo. As a child, his parents saw glimpses of the queen Ted is destined to be and discouraged him, especially his father. His only future is the family business and only certain behaviors are acceptable. His gratefulness for their acceptance of his sexuality locked him into a mindset of perpetual gratitude, no matter the personal cost. As he got older and buried any dreams that weren’t his parents’ or Giles’, Ted became smaller and smaller — someone used to and “happy” with being a shadow in other people’s spotlight. Rediscovering and embracing his love of drag gives him the confidence to finally begin putting his needs first.

Oskar too was indoctrinated into conformity and hiding. His father was caught cheating with another man, and the hatred and bile hurled at him by the town and his family scarred Oskar deeply. His mother became a religious zealot who preached of the depravity and perversion of queerness, and Oskar internalized that. Seeing gay men being harassed and beaten reinforced the message that he is wrong. While being in the UK provides freedom from his toxic home-life and environment, Oskar isn’t free emotionally. While he has a satisfying arc and Ted is the eponymous MC, I do wish more time had been spent unpacking Oskar’s trauma given how many flashbacks there are to unpack Ted’s. Additionally, while the author does a good job not dedicating too much of the story to Ted’s depression, the three-month timeline that begins with Ted not being sure he’d survive without Giles to falling in love is slightly truncated. I liked both MCs and the relationship works for the characters, but fell flat for me. They have a couple on-page dates that are sweet and awkward (giving perfect getting together vibes), but them being in love is a stretch.

Ted’s friendship with Denise and connection with Stanley are more convincing relationships. Denise is Ted’s cheerleader and fiercest champion, though she can be a bit overzealous with her need to support Ted. I can’t help but question if the depth of her friendship doesn’t stem from guilt about the massive secret she’s keeping. Stanley becomes a fast friend and helps remind Ted of what it means to live a full life. Their affection and belief bolster Ted whenever he falters.

Overall, the writing is good. It is simplistic and tends to spell everything out multiple times, which slows the pace; several of the flashbacks of Giles and Ted’s parents reshaping him could have been cut. Also, the dialogue is stiff at times, sometimes made more noticeable by the third-person POV. A character saying “how does that make you feel” screams therapy session, not conversation with a friend. The dialogue tags could also be a bit much; “bleating” and “braying” do paint a picture, but are more jarring than effective.

The element that bothered me most is the iffy rationales of some plot points; conclusions that conflict with what is built by the narrative is a major pet peeve. There is a subplot dealing with Ted receiving ominous letters that is poorly done and annoying. The reasoning behind sending them is already shaky, but how it was carried out makes the explanation ridiculous and almost mean given the amount of turmoil and distress they cause. Similarly, Ted’s parents’ motivations are ill thought-out given the context. The thought of Ted leaving for a more glamorous life is so devastating they suppress his light under family loyalty and tradition, yet let their youngest go be an international model??? The context sure makes it seem like it was ok for her light to shine since she was performing appropriate gender norms. To me, it’s disingenuous and contributes to the ending being almost too kumbaya. While it was rewarding to see Ted shine and get closure in so many ways, the emotional conclusion is so pat, it feels rushed and somewhat unearned.

That being said, I enjoyed Oskar and Ted’s journeys of celebration and truth, and Becoming Ted’s messages of self-acceptance, friendship, and love are heartwarming.

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