A Well-Trained Wife was hard to read — I admire Tia Levings making the brave decision to escape Christian patriarchy, especially when she raised in the same community, with delusional beliefs about her self-worth and expectations for a life of obedience.

Between her upbringing and her abusive husband, Tia was in terrible situations and it was difficult to hear about all she endured. I admire Tia’s willingness to share her story and break the cycle for her kids. I hope A Well-Trained Wife inspires any women who have lost their freedom or their voice to fight back to reclaim it.

A Well-Trained Wife is a gripping and unsettling read that had me hooked from the very first page. The author masterfully builds tension, weaving a story that is both thought-provoking and impossible to put down. With sharp writing and a narrative that lingers long after the last page, this is a book that absolutely delivers.

This is a phenomenally powerful memoir or a woman raised in a religious cult who is forced to raise a family with a man who abuses her. It’s full of very useful information for anyone in a similar situation.

A Well-Trained Wife is a harrowing memoir about a woman whose religious upbringing conditioned her to believe that marriage was the only path for her and made her a prime candidate for ending up in an abusive one. It details her childhood in an influential megachurch, her early adulthood in the IBLP and other environments with increasingly extreme views, and how she finally got out.

I thought I had heard it all where the modern American church is concerned, but some of the revelations shocked me. I was also surprised and impressed by Levings' candor in revealing them. Where I felt the writing lacked (at the sentence, voice, and metaphor levels, it left much to be desired), she made up for it and kept me interested with honest, moving descriptions of her experiences and thoughts at the time.

Abuse narratives like this one are always brutal to read, and she would've needed another 100 pages to address all the people who needed to be held accountable besides her husband. I have seen a small subset of reviewers trying to separate their rigid religious beliefs from the outcomes Levings experienced and having to employ the "no true Scotsman" fallacy to do so. It's true that most Christians don't believe or behave in exactly this way. Still, this memoir reminded me that it's not a far leap from theological positions that say women must be submissive and subservient to men to abusive and oppressive situations like the author's.

Her story presents the patriarchy, which is often still upheld in some branches of Christianity today, as the clear problem. It's what allowed and emboldened men in authority to do the types of things described in her memoir: requiring your wife to respond to you with "yes, my lord," spanking your wife to keep her in line ("Christian domestic discipline"), exerting control over what your wife can read or write about, etc.

I include that breakdown because, as a Christian myself, I don't want anyone going into this memoir writing it off too quickly as an extreme case without recognizing how destructive certain theologies can be and how much closer their own beliefs may be to patriarchal fundamentalism than they realize. After all, her husband was taking instruction from sects (like ATI, IBLP, and Calvinism) and people with names that I recognized. Her husband clung to a distorted version of Christianity with no regard to the teachings of Jesus to justify his abuse and control, but it's a version that too many are still too cozy with for me.

This is a horrifying, enraging, and ultimately inspiring story that fortunately ends with escape. Levings saved herself and her children from a life of isolation, subjugation, and danger, and I'm glad she chose to share what led her there.

*This review is based on an ARC provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.

I could not stop reading this book.
The author shares her story about the journey she follows from a young age into the world of religion and how that ultimately contributes to how she behaves, marries, and lives.
Because adolescence is a confusing time, and because of some ignorance and of course the desire to fit in with her peers, she embraces religious mantra as if it is quite literally gospel.
Unfortunately this leads her into a marriage with a man that is wholly unviable. But with grit and determination, she gets thru the abuse and the moves and the rapes and the beatings. All the while she believes this is a mission from god. If she is just good enough or works hard enough, everything will be okay.
Finally a time comes that she needs to make a change. But this is not the end of her journey. There is a lot of unresolved issues to deal with.
This is sad, unfortunately also true in some parts of our society, and if the powers that be get their way…could be the future of our human hood..
A very valuable book for this time.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me this ARC

I got into it very quickly! It's scary to see how easily indoctrinated someone can be through fundamentalist religious groups and how spousal abuse and rape can become a norm when women are taught to obey their husbands and not given any outlet for support. This book is well written and very intense. The author paints a very clear picture of how she got into this situation, and your desire to see her escape grows as her situation deteriorates. I can see why it was nominated for best memoir! Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me the chance to read and review this excellent book!

This book was the most impactful book that I read in 23024. I've never known anyone in a cult or considered that there are people walking among us who are in insular communities like the one Tia was in. I read this through in one sitting. I needed a drink after. Tia tells her story in a way that makes you know that she is telling the absolute truth and as a reader, I rooted for her the entire time. I respect her bravery in telling even the horrible bits about the life with her husband as the absolute master of the home. I thought that it was very well done.

A harrowing but redemptive memoir on Levings growing up in a fundamentalist church, filled with rules and abuse. It was a tough story to read and am thankful for a good ending.

“A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy” by Tia Levings is a powerful and heart-wrenching memoir that takes readers deep into the life of a woman trapped in the oppressive world of Christian patriarchy. Levings recounts her early years as a wife in the Quiverfull movement, where women are expected to be silent, submissive, and fully devoted to their roles as homemakers and mothers. The seemingly wholesome exterior of her life conceals a grim reality of isolation, strict discipline, and emotional abuse.

Levings beautifully and courageously details her emotional and physical struggles within this deeply restrictive environment, showing the profound impact of a system that devalues women’s voices and autonomy. As her story unfolds, she begins to question her role and, more importantly, the future she is shaping for her children. Faced with an impossible choice, Levings ultimately decides to break free, risking everything to protect her family.

This memoir is not just a personal journey; it’s a larger commentary on the ways extreme belief systems can infiltrate marriage and family life, often with devastating consequences. Levings’ honesty, vulnerability, and strength in telling her story make A Well-Trained Wife both a deeply emotional and enlightening read. Her resilience is inspiring, and her story will resonate with anyone who has fought for personal freedom and autonomy in the face of societal or familial pressure.

An essential read for those interested in understanding the darker side of patriarchal religious systems and the courage it takes to challenge them.

An important look at the tradwife phenomenon through the lens of a woman who lived it. Tia's story is real, and raw and a warning against the rising patriarchal trends.

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the ARC!

This memoir was impressive. The themes were relatable to much of American culture. It was a pretty heavy read emotion wise so be warned, although I do recommend. I found this shocking. I think it is important to note their are very triggering events such as death of animals, domestic and child abuse. This is a beautifully portrayed memoir of how religious identification can be used in a negative way, and not just positive. This book made me think a lot about what other women endure in their religious community that is NOT supportive of both partners, but rather just 'getting in line' for the male of the family.

This book, given everything, was emotionally a lot to read. It was gripping, infuriating, and so so wonderufl. It's... absolutely wild that this is where we are and seeminly where we're going. What... what a read. Everyone should read it.

- A WELL-TRAINED WIFE might be the most harrowing book I’ve ever read, period. Even knowing that Levings gets through it to write this book, I was clutching the book and mentally screaming the whole time.
- For most of the book, Levings is simply relaying events without much extra commentary. Even so, one can see exactly how this theology and worldview has infiltrated mainstream life in large and small ways.
- The last section, where Levings is out and in therapy, remarried, etc., feels a bit rushed and that’s where she crams in the lessons as well. It reads like it may have benefited from a few more years of distance and healing, but I do understand her sense of urgency in telling her story.

Tia Levings’ memoir A Well-Trained Wife is gripping, enraging, and ultimately triumphant and I couldn’t put it down. So happy to see it’s flying off the shelves and getting all the kudos it deserves. It reflects the lived impact of Christian extremism on women and children. Levings was interviewed in the Netflix documentary Shiny, Happy People about Christian cults and she's been a calm, steady voice in helping people understand what's happening with Christian nationalism in our country and the danger it poses.

As someone who was raised in a fairly conservative background, I was very interested in reading this book. I admire Levings' courage and willingness to share the nitty gritty details of her upbringing and unmask the abuse that she experienced. With a reemergence of "tradwifes" I think it so important for the dark side of so called traditional values and the harm that these values can do to both children and women,

I love reading memoirs about leaving religion or high control groups. This book was no exception! I really appreciated reading Tia's experiences. I also watched the documentary Tia was involved in, Shiny Happy People, and have always been fascinated by the experiences of those who have left extreme fundamentalist Christian groups and the Quiverful movement in general. I googled Tia Levings after finishing the book and plan to also listen to her podcasts!

A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings is a powerful memoir that explores the corrosive elements of Christian fundamentalism. This is especially timely given the romanticization of the tradwife movement, which has significant overlap.

Many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for sharing this book with me.

This was such a personal and heart wrenching memoir. It gives vibes of trad wife/patriarchal marriage/Project 2025. This is a shocking story. I thought I had an idea of how women are treated in this community, but to hear it in the author’s voice is devastating. It is terrifying to me that the Republican base is built on Christian extremists. I want none of these “values” anywhere near me or any other woman. I appreciate the vulnerability required to share this story. Levings repeatedly used the term “invisible and interchangeable” to describe herself and other wives, which drove home their position in this community. What a powerful read.

I really enjoyed this book. It was well written and told chronologically. It was raw and vulnerable about living in an evangelical marriage. I’m glad it ended well.

My heart hurts for what she went through. I can relate so much to how she grew up but I’m incredibly grateful that I got out in my teens and I have such a beautiful life, that I choose!!! Whew the traumas in this book that I could relate to. I’m so happy that her and the kids finally got out and are getting their freedom and their happiness. They get to experience the trie meaning of love now. What a great read!