This is a hard book to read. As part of a Christian sect women are trained to be subservient to their husbands, be perfect wives and mothers. From a young age she is a people pleaser. I never got a sense that she really believed in the teachings but was struggling and trying to follow a path dictated by the church. There was so much brutality. Having been raised in the Catholic church I was taught to believe in Jesus as a son of God who was sent to earth because of our sins but I had a hard time with the concept. The teachings of her church might not be as radical as Catholicism, but the church definitely had a hold. A teacher once cut my hair because she felt it was too long and my parents were good with that. In second grade I was put in a closet for talking and told I had to be quiet or rats would bite me. I appreciate so much her honesty in her story and the strength that she exhibited to get out of a bad situation and take care of her children.

I would like to thank Netgalley and St. Martin's Press for providing me with a digital copy.

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE by Tia Levings is available as of Tuesday 8/6. I’ve been reading and listening to this one on audio. I love a memoir narrated by the author!

Tia Levings is a strong voice who makes a decision to leave fundamental Christianity to save herself and her kids. She spent years as being told what to do and feeling like she had no rights because of her husband and the different churches he brought into their lives. This book was not an attack on Christianity but a truth to what happens in the evangelical community. Tia does hold onto her faith throughout her abuse and her escape finding friends and family that support her. To warn you, this book is hard to read at times so beware if abuse is a trigger for you.

I highly recommend audio as the author also narrates it. Thanks @macmillan.audio for an early listen! And thanks @stmartinspress for an ARC! This book came out this week and is a great one to add if you are into memoirs.

A Well-Trained Wife is a memoir about a woman caught up in a religious cult that trapped her in an abusive marriage. We follow Tia Levings from her early years attending a fairly innocuous church that followers of Bill Gothard slowly infiltrated. Those teachings led Tia and her husband down some dangerous roads in their beliefs and relationship. Ultimately, Tia and her children (with the help of good friends) had to flee for their lives. Tia then describes the years she spent rebuilding her trust in people, spirituality, and ultimately, herself.

This book struck close to home as my husband and I grew up adjacent to several cults that Tia and her husband experienced. It almost felt like reading a scary alternate history of what our lives might look like if our parents had made different choices.

If you liked Educated by Tara Westover, you will fly through A Well-Trained Wife. Thank you to Tia for bravely telling your story.

Thank you to St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book.

Thank you St Martin’s for providing me with an Advanced Reader’s copy, this book wasn’t on my radar and I was encouraged to read it.

This memoir is tense and heartbreaking, and it’s not for the faint of heart. It’s difficult to put down, and the emotional impact lingers long after you finish reading.

Tia's writing pulls you in, and her strength and resilience are truly inspiring. Her story is powerful, and the challenges she has faced in her life are immense.

I’ve read other powerful memoirs, but this one grips your heart, making you feel her pain and fear.

There are many triggers in this book, so if you’re sensitive to certain topics, I suggest looking them up before you begin reading.

Read 8.6 - 8.9.2024
DNF @20%

This was just too much for me - having grown up in this world and been a part of the evangelical movement [and having watched several lives destroyed by the "rules" within it, including my own ultimately], I found myself having flashbacks of that time [and of my friends, one who is now dead] and for my own mental health, I could not continue.

I recognize the importance of this book and the lessons it teaches and I would therefore recommend this book and the audiobook even though I am unable to complete it myself.

I thank NetGalley, Tia Levings, St. Martin's Press, and Macmillan Audio for providing the eBook and audiobook ARC's in exchange for an honest review.

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This book reflects what happens when mental health/domestic violence meets high control religion. Religion in and of itself isn't bad, but it becomes bad when the rigid rules and patriarchic culture protect people who hurt and devalue others. A Well-Trained Wife is such a tough read, but it provides insight into the harm that fundamentalist, IBLP culture has imposed on so many families. I hope that women trapped in horrible situations read this and see the opportunity a new life can offer.

Tia Levings is a survivor, and her story was a tough read, with significant abuse--physical, emotional and sexual--playing out among the religious trauma she endured for a number of years. I hate to give star ratings to memoirs, so I base my rating on how well I felt the story moved along; in this case, the book was a harrowing experience that seemed that it would never end for her. The author also links the Christian patriarchy with political figures which some may find offensive, though it did not offend me, personally.

Readers who enjoyed Educated by Tara Westover will find this memoir to be similar in tone, though the religious overtones are far more entrenched in A Well-Trained Wife, by definition. Thank you to Netgalley and St. Martin's Press for the digital ARC and for a print copy as well. The opinions in this review are my own.

“Without the service of submissive women, the whole patriarchy would fall.”

Tia Levings grew up in a conservative Christian family, searching for purpose in the church and molding herself into a good Christian young woman, waiting for God to send her a Christian husband. Allan isn’t quite what Tia expected; even while they’re dating, he’s mean and unpredictable. Allan’s cruelty escalates once they are married, as Tia tries to keep sweet by striving to be a submissive wife and helpmate. The fundamentalist church Allan finds them is even more controlling, even encouraging husbands to physically discipline their wives with spanking when they disobey. When denial and submissiveness fail to shield Tia from Allan’s ever-increasing abuse and erratic behavior, she knows she must escape her marriage in order to protect herself and her children.

This is such an incredibly powerful memoir! Tia’s story is harrowing and heartbreaking, and at times it is so, SO hard to read. Tia shares the unvarnished truth about her toxic marriage and her experiences with the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement with excruciating, brutal honesty. My heart was screaming at her to leave, but it’s clear how the church’s misogynistic teachings primed her with the shame and subservience that led her to endure Allan’s horrific treatment for so long. It’s such a moment of relief and triumph when Tia courageously flees with her children. But her story doesn’t end there; the rest of Tia’s story is just beginning as she puts in the hard work to heal from her trauma and emerge into a life that is hopeful and empowered.

People who present a picture-perfect existence to the public can very well be holding closely-held secrets about the abuse-filled lifestyle they live behind closed doors. Tia Levings has bravely revealed her own experiences as the wife and mother in a fundamentalist family. Her memoir is a tough but very important read. What's even scarier is how such practices are extending into our schools and government. Thanks to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press and the author for an advance copy to read and review.

I’ve been watching Tia Levings reels on instagram since the big Duggar blowout and I always found her personal perspective and sneak peek behind the curtain of Christian Fundamentalism fascinating and shocking.

In A Well-Trained Wife, Tia delves deeper as she details her life experiences that culminated in her being in a relationship with a man who would eventually try to take everything, including her sense of self and eventually attempt to take her life.

Fascinating about Tia story not only what she has survivor, she always had a spark of herself that was kept burning as she injured, different atrocities and decorations make her into a well-trained wife.

The story is not only captivating and terrifying, it’s inspiring and impressive as she escapes the silencing from Christian patriarchy to deliver her story to the masses. She hasn’t sugarcoat the role. The church plays in her downfall, but she also accept responsibility for her own choices. I found her locked into her abusive relationship.

Absolutely inspiring and I recommend this to anyone who is interested in taking a peek behind velvet curtains Christian patriarchy. If you’re interested in some Fiction recommendations on the same vein, swipe through my post to see two other books that feature heroines escaping their own Christian patriarchal cages.

Thanks to St Martin’s Press for the arc copy!

Told in a beautiful, honest, and sometimes harrowing voice, A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable and timely memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.

Thank you St. Martin’s Press, Macmillan Audio and Netgalley for sending me an ARC of this book! This was an interesting book but it wasn’t easy to read. At times, reading it made me feel angry and sad but I liked it. A long time ago, I watched the show 19 Kids And Counting on TLC and I thought to myself,”These people are crazy. Why do they want to have so many kids?” and now, I understand why. It’s because they’re Fundamental Christians. I’m glad I wasn’t raised that way.

This book could not have come ou tat a better time. From the very first readable page to the last you see a woman who was a member of a Christian patricarchial church that turned her life that she thought would be good for her into a living hell with an abusive husband and church. She shows the world what it's like to be trapped in these churches with everything being your fault and how you're not praying enough. It can never be the man's fault. You read about her experiences of beatings, verbal and mental abuse and the things she had to endure to keep her husband happy. There are lots of docs and books about this issue but this is one of the strongest I've ever read. The last quarter of the book is what she does today now that she is out of the church and how she found a way to have faith but not one that was not all punishing and only good for men. She brings up the harm these churches are doing to children who don't have a choice in how they are brought up. The author also brings up Project 2025 and how we don't want to go there. I learned so much from this book and it should be shared with family members and friends who have faith. Thank you to #netgalley and #stmartinspress for the read. Outstanding book and will be in my top 10 nonfiction books of 2024..

What a beautifully written memoir. I found myself enthralled in this book from the get-go. And I can see it being popular at my library!

A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings

I needed some time to write this review. It was a heavy read, and there will be triggers for some readers. Tia has a lot of demons to conquer and I salute her resilience. It will be a life-long battle.

From early childhood, the church was everything to Tia’s family. How to dress, talk, pray and worship were fundamental issues. With no life experience, Tia married the fist man to show an interest in her. She didn’t even know to look for red flags, never mind spot them. When the abuse started-immediately-her cries for help went unheeded. She needed to be more faithful and obedient. All her marital problems were her fault, she was told.

Tia eventually sees a way out to protect her children. Towards the end of the book she reveals the secrets behind the pulpit and names names of those propelling these fundamentalist teachings that are creeping from the church and into our government. It is a frightful scenario.

My thanks to St. Martins Press for this insightful four star book on sexual grooming, submission, gender roles and domestic abuse.

I enjoy reading memoirs and thought the premise of this one sounded interesting. Unfortunately the execution and writing didn’t work for me and I decided to DNF at 25%. Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the free book to review.

A Well-Trained Wife is Tia Levings’ memoir about her life in the fundamentalist Bill Gothard-led Quiverful movement. At age 33, she had four small children, many animals, no education, no job skills, and an abusive, mentally ill husband. While their Christian faith may have appeared wholesome to others because it was what the Duggar family practiced, it was abusive to women. Women were required to be silent and submissive “keepers of the home.” Wives had to follow a list of secret, special rules including strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle.

Tia’s story begins at age 10 when her family moves from Michigan to Gainesville, Florida. Her parents had fallen on hard times and lost everything in the Rust Belt’s economic depression. Tia had a hard time adjusting to her new surroundings, adolescence, and making friends at school. Her mother insisted on attending church services at First Baptist, which was very conservative. Eventually Tia learned to follow the rules in order to be accepted by others.

After Tia married Allan and started a family, she was aware that outsiders considered her family strange. She also knew that she couldn't risk exposing their secret Quiverfull lifestyle. So she hid her abuse and pain from the world for years. When Tia realized that she was raising her sons to be the next generation of abusive men and her daughter to be a submissive woman, she began to question how they lived. Eventually she took the children and left Allan, and later remarried a kind man. She went through years of therapy to process her trauma.

A Well-Trained Wife is a firsthand look at one woman’s experience in the Bill Gothard IBLP/Quiverful religious community. It’s painful to read the emotional and physical abuse that she endured, but it is consistent with other women’s stories who also were part of that movement. The author often uses profanity when she is sharing her thoughts. My one criticism of the book is the author’s lumping all evangelical Christianity together, instead of just this particular sect.

I received an Advance Review Copy (ARC) from NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

A powerful memoir of one woman’s unassuming devolution into, and survival story from, fundamentalist Christianity, Tia Levings’ account also serves as a stark reminder of the thin veil between mainstream evangelicalism (mega churches, purity culture, etc.) and radicalism (in this case, IBLP, the quiverful movement, etc.). Having been raised in a community that toed this line and revered many of the same church leaders, this resonated to an uncomfortable extent in many ways. A timely and important read during this election season.

Pub Date: 8/6/24
Review Published: 8/5/24
eARC received from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

What amazing book I could really relate to this. How Did T I n survive all this abuse. Her parents were christian , but the man she married was alter Christian in a control way. I can't believe she actually put up the years and had children with this man. She has a lot of courage to survive all the abuse over the years. I When she began dating with This man there is a lot of Red flags she did not see them but other people did see them try to warn her. When she was young she was raised in a christian place and they talked about rape and she was so strong at that point in her life. Things began to change when she married this man.And he was very Abusing to her I. She was trying to control the way she did everything and if she did not do the right way he went on a ram page. She was no contact with her friends.And we're very little contact with the family. This is how these people control these women and make them feel really bad about themselves. She started to change when her daughter died.Heart problems when she was born. Please got really bad when she moved to Tennessee.But she found blogging at night really helped Her. I know the situation because I have been there myself. You feel you cannot walk away, but you do.And you find the Courage to walk away and and start a new life especially for your children. Think the children are better when you get away from abuse of people.Because they We will do the same to people later on life. This should be recommended for women who are going through this to show them how they can get through this.

Wow - this book is so tough to read, but so good. I think anyone who has suffered from or is trying to break from Christian fundamentalism should read this.

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
A Well-Trained Wife
Author: Tia Levings
Source: NetGalley
Pub Date: Nov. 6, 2024

A Well-Trained Wife is a textbook memoir about low self-esteem and severe spousal abuse under the guise of training Christian subservient wives. It’s a true-life horror memoir and has too many triggers to mention. Tia writes about an abuse-filled life sanctioned by the various religious factions that she and her husband followed. I know the teachings of some of these groups, and they are so repulsive that I am uncertain how any sane person would accept this abuse under the excuse of being a Christ-follower. While I do not, in any way, negate the terrible mental and physical torture suffered by the author, I do think there were opportunities where she could have escaped her lifestyle. She routinely did not tell the truth to people outside her faith, not even her parents. A Well-Trained Wife is a challenging book, and I still feel sad that Tia’s life was so horrific. #memoir #sexualabuse #beatings #spankings #triggers #infantdeath #eatingdisorder #psychologicaltorture #mentalillness #rogueChristianity #cult #memoir #aWellTrainedWife @tialevingswriter @netgalley @stmartinspress
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I received a complimentary copy of this book. The opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own. Thank you to the publisher, Netgalley, and the author for the opportunity to read this novel.
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