First off, the cover is what initially interested me about this book. It looks innocently "fun" but has an obvious dark tone. It looks like a fiction cover, but it's a memoir. I think more memoirs should think about going in this direction.

This is not an easy read. It is fascinating and horrifying way. It's terrible that religion is ever used as a means of abuse to women and children. But sadly it happens every day. I appreciate that the author was strong enough to share her experience.

Tia Levings' devastatingly raw memoir chronicles her journey to end the church-sanctioned abuse inflicted upon her by her husband for years. Levings' story evokes a whirlwind of emotions: sadness, anger, frustration, confusion, shame, hopelessness, fear, devastation, and heartache. While I have felt many of these emotions throughout my life, I couldn’t fathom carrying the weight of all of them, every second of every day, for years.

The physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual exhaustion must have been overwhelming. Yet, the author persisted, fighting to ensure her children were safe and protected. This tenacity brings about a profound sense of relief, joy, and hope that Tia continues to experience.

Touching, moving, real, raw, and occasionally difficult to read, this is a solid four-star memoir. I highly recommend it to anyone who has experienced an abusive relationship, struggled with their faith, or had to start over.

Thank you to NetGalley, Tia Levings, Macmillan Audio, and St. Martin’s Press for the opportunity to read and listen to this memoir ahead of its release date in exchange for an honest review.

After watching an interview with the author, I knew A Well Trained Wife was going to be an uncomfortable book to read. The amount of mind F-ery that goes into transforming a sweet, compliant young girl into a human slave punching bag - is shocking. I am glad that Tia Levings shared her story. I now have a better understanding of how someone can find themselves in this situation and the courage it takes to get themselves out. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

Wow. Memoirs like this are riviting in both a fascinating and horrifying way. It hurts my heart to think that ANYONE is forced to deal with this kind of treatment. Abuse like this starts at such a young age- the fact that a child is trained to believe that anything negative that happens to her is her fault is just terrible and tragic. It made me feel so upset and angry that her parents could see (at least, I hope they could see) that something was NOT right, but they never did anything to help her out of the situation.

Definitely an interesting read, but one that left my heart hurting. “Religion” should never be used as a reason for abusing women or children. That is not right, and not what God ever intended.

"A Well-Trained Wife" by Tia Levings reveals one woman's experience within a high-control, patriarchal religious environment. The author shares her story as a wife and mother trying to figure out what it meant to live a life committed to God, while also dealing with immense heartache of lilfe events, and enduring emotional and physical abuse by her husband. This book sheds light on the actions that are so frequently encouraged within high-control religious contexts, are carried out behind closed doors, and bring great harm to the victims. There are several portions of the book that I would likely have a difficult time bellieving if I did not have experience within high-control religion.

I recommend this book for anyone who is curious about how patriarchal guidelines within high-control religion can harm individuals. I also challenge readers to remember that just because you haven't/aren't seeing the abuse doesn't mean it is not occurring.

A Well-Trained Wife by Tia Levings

You know those books that are tense from the very first page, you hold your breath, you have scrunched shoulders? It’s typically a horror or a gripping thriller? Yeah, that was this book and it was her REAL LIFE. This memoir is absolutely not an easy read, and I encourage everyone to check out trigger warnings and take care of yourself before, during, and after reading.

I’m in awe of Levings’ unflinching memoir. This is an incredibly moving and timely memoir that demonstrates a woman’s rise back into her self. It is empowering even though what happened was horrific. I’ll be thinking about this one for a long time.

The writing is special. It has a cadence that is Levings’ own - it’s intimate, it’s fluid, it’s stream of consciousness. It’s detailed and factual while simultaneously being thoughtful and provoking. I love the connections Levings draws, especially this particular quote: “‘Why were we taught to fear the witches instead of the men who burned them.’”

As I finished this book, I immediately thought of the song lyrics from Fight Song, “This is my fight song/take back my life song/ prove I’m alright song/[…]/cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.” Fans of incredibly honest memoirs should pick this one up.

I would like to thank St Martin’s Press for providing me with an ARC copy of A Well-Trained Wife in exchange for my honest review.

My first introduction to Tia Levings is probably the same as a lot of you – I saw her promo on Shiny Happy People, the documentary diving into the fall of the Dugger family’s fame, as well as digging into the darkness that stems from IBLP and Gothard followers.

When you leave, and you’re actually out there, flailing like a new little fish. there are people who catch you. The universe catches you.

–Tia Levings, Shiny Happy People

I remember watching the Dugger family on TLC and thinking that as strict as the religion I was being raised in, at least I was allowed to wear blue jeans and a swim suit to the pool.

Tia takes us into a deep dive of what her life was like from being raised in a Megachurch, to finding herself running out of options as woman and what she was “allowed” to be. Her story is heartbreaking and powerful, full of incredibly horrible trauma and amazing highlights. I felt so many moments of familiarity for what Tia went through and how she survived and began to flourish in her adult life.

A Well-Trained Wife will be available on August 6 2024 in your local library or wherever books are sold.

I first learned about Tia Levings after watching her interview on the Prime Video documentary, Shiny Happy People. To say I was engrossed in her memoir is an understatement. This book is a powerful look at how one young woman and her family got caught up in the fundamentalist quiverful movement. Though these practices masquerade as Christian, they are not. They are a cult, and Tia's story of survival is nothing short of a miracle. It was heartbreaking, scary, and difficult to read her story.... but so important, as her story and the elements of extreme religious practices that she experienced are likely more common than we know. I could very easily see elements of this lifestyle creeping into the Christian community of my childhood, though I am not aware of anyone I personally knew who was in this deep.

It is remarkable what a strong woman Tia Levings is despite her experiences, and I am grateful she shared her story with others. She has pursued so much healing and health in her journey! If you read this book, be advised that there are many challenging elements including abuse, trauma, rape, death, mental health issues, and more (some related to both people and animals). I had to put this book down at times even though I knew there was hope and growth coming.

Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the eARC. All opinions are my own.

Tia’s memoir is one of the most gut-wrenching and infuriating I’ve read. She describes her experiences so vividly that I’ve had to take my time and walk away from this book many times to process.

So glad this book exists to serve as a testament for how dangerous and damaging extreme religions are for women. And to show that another life is possible.

Some may see women who are in these strong christian cults as weaklings but if you've never experienced something like this you have no idea the wisdom, bravery and strength it takes to become free.

I think this book is different from other cult books that I've read due to Tia waited awhile to write the book so she also included what it took for her to heal and become a free woman in every way.

She has an Instagram account as well that is good to follow.

Thank you to NetGalley, Tia Levings and St. Martin's Press for allowing me this arc version. This is my honest opinion and has nothing to do with anyone else.

Wow is all I keep thinking! I just keep thinking about it.

This book shines a light into some extreme religious practices, some I knew of and some I didn't and I was shocked by the rigidity of it. Recruited into the fundamentalist quiverful movement as a young wife, Tia learned that being a "good christian" meant following a set of secret life principles. Christian patriarchy demanded strict discipline, isolation, and a seemingly wholesome but alternative lifestyle. Women, "keepers of the home" were to be silent.

To say this book made me angry would be an understatement. I was horrified by some of the teachings and practices that Tia endured and the worst part is, she's not the only one. I had no idea some of these religious sects existed or that they could be so extreme. This was such a hard read so I needed breaks but even as I set it down I was constantly thinking about it. I read this more slowly than I normally would and because of that, I was able to really sit with the story and process everything that was happening. It may seem far fetched to some but I was able to see clearly how Tia became trapped in her world. Its one choice made to be a good christian and thinking what your'e doing is leading you down the "right" path, being taught that God's blessing is always around the corner, not to be selfish, to honor your husband, and never rock the boat with the wrong partner or leader and you've got a recipe for disaster and trauma.

It's always strange to me to rate memoirs and someone's personal experiences but this was an incredible story. Tia is a strong, inspiring woman and I thank her for sharing her story. It's one that will stay with me for a long time. If I could give her a standing ovation I would but for now 5 stars will have to do.

Favorite Quote:
"Purity culture hadn't prepared me for healthy sexuality. Keeping sweet hadn't equipped me to speak up about abuse. Waiting for touch to happen all at once hadn't allowed my nervous system to acclimate to intimacy. Doctors aren't evil agents of a New World Order. Scaring me with hell hadn't led to loving Jesus. Cutting off gay friends didn't make them straight. What else was wrong? Every day I found new things, old beliefs to pick apart and sort through."

Trigger warnings: Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Trauma, PTSD, CPTSD, Undiagnosed Mental Health, Child Death, Religious Trauma, Rape

Thank you to Netgalley and St Martin's Press fro the chance to read this early in exchange of an honest review.

Levings suffered just about every type of abuse imaginable.
I gritted my teeth and clenched my jaw as I read many situations and paragraphs that infuriated me.
The messages and “education” made my blood boil.
I think Levings has,healed tremendously but will always be scarred from her earlier beliefs and experiences.
This book will be difficult for many readers to stomach but it should be read.

This was a wonderful heartfelt story.

I found this to be emotionally raw in parts. It outlines patriarchy can justify their actions by using the Bible.

They can interpret everything as they wish and put all the pressure on the women of the family.

I think this is a book that will hopefully stop other young people to join a church that does not treat men and women as equals

A brave, chilling, and timely memoir that surprised me and should serve as a warning. Levings did not fully understand what she was getting into when she married but her awareness of how wrong everything was grew slowly until she was able to free herself. And her recovery from her life is interesting as well. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. Hopefully this will get the wide readership it deserves.

Tia Levings' memoir about escaping the Christian patriarchy was so well written and approachable. I have always been very interested in conservative fundamentalist Christianity. I found Levings voice to be such a light amidst the trauma of her past. I appreciated how she was able to use her writing in part to help her family get out of the abusive, poverty-stricken situation they were living in. I thought she did a great job of citing different references that were used, i.e. - what was founded in the Bible and what was from pamphlets distributed by various churches that they attended.

I am amazed at the author's strength, to educate herself and to leave with her family when she did.

Absolutely gripping and quite possibly the scariest book this reader has encountered this year, this real-life memoir, written by a first-person female former practicing member of Christian Fundamentalism (at its most devout) is a harrowing deep-dive into toxic patriarchal religious dogma and its stealthy indoctrination of the most horrifying abuse and subrogation of women (and children, and gays, and onward) - and all of it, with their complicit “consent”, as believers.

Raised since childhood into a world where female equals subservient, and male equals leader, decades of brain-washing on the rules guaranteeing “godly harmony” are not easily removed, regardless of the consequences, as the author opens the door (bravely, and with terrifying candor) on the realities of life as a spiritual prisoner and victim of abuse.

According to the rules identified as “biblical manhood”, the most vulnerable of all, young females in this case, are victimized. As “witnesses for Christ”, the author encounters womanhood as “utensils”, whose only value is its “usefulness” to manhood, (that is, its ability to procreate, continually and repeatedly), creating multiple “quivers” in God’s arsenal and the expansion of an army of new believers.

No spoilers here, but suffice it to say that for the author, leaving this world, and the trauma imposed by it, regardless of the ongoing cost, is a long time in coming - only heralded by an acceleration of abuse onto new and defenseless family members.

A brave and compelling journey to healing, as personal therapy empowering compassion, resiliency and self-advocacy begins its slow growth to center stage, the author learns it just may be possible to undo the worst of her psychological damage, support the reversal of the spread and power of the most powerful offenders, and help message an alternative path to those who need to hear it.

Required reading for today’s thinking humans, the author’s expose is both utterly compelling and incredibly difficult to read.

A great big thank you to Netgalley, the author, and the publisher for an ARC of this book. All thoughts presented are my own.

*** four and a half shiny stars

A beautifully written and heartbreaking memoir of an abused woman in a marriage twisted by cruel religious dogmatism. Levings endured years of abuse by an already mentally ill man who was encouraged by extreme right wing, male-dominated Christian fundamentalism. She recounts her experiences with a clear and compassionate eye. She gave birth to four children and exhausted herself trying to keep them from upsetting her volatile husband. She eventually began to feel that her life and the lives of her kids were in danger so she took them--along with the family pets--and ran. She recounts how she built her own community for her family and her long road to a normal life. Not an easy read, but a very worthwhile one.

This was an important examination and accounting by Tia Levings of her life growing up and living as an adult within the world of Christian fundamentalism. Tia grew up with parents who became fundamentalists later in their life and then married a fundamentalist man. This man ended up being incredibly abusive in every way, under the guise of it being his “role” as a husband with the assumption that any issue she took with such abuse was a her problem because it meant that she needed to “submit more.”

There were so many moments that Tia so artfully described where it felt like I was there, watching things play out in real time. The fear I felt for Tia and her children as I read continued to mount. I am so incredibly happy that Tia and her children were able to get out, and although I know it will take a lifetime to recover from what she endured, I feel such joy for her that she can now heal and live life on her terms.

Throughout this book, I found deep appreciation for Tia’s honesty surrounding the severe trauma she endured at the hands of her husband and the church. Instead of being protected by these sacred relationships, she was gaslit and blamed for the issues she was experiencing. Her willingness to share her story will hopefully make way for other women (and men) experiencing abuse under the guise of extreme religion. I’d highly recommend this book to anyone interested in the world of Christian fundamentalism and/or religious trauma. Pick it up wherever books are sold on August 5th!

Bravo, Tia!

A big thank you to NetGalley, Tia Levings, and St. Martin’s Press for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Whew, this book is loaded and honest. I have followed Tia for a while on social media and have enjoyed her insight on families like The Duggars, their beliefs, and practices. I saw Tia's interview on the Shiny Happy People documentary which shared more of her story and was thrilled to hear more in her memoir. My heart breaks for Tia and all she's been through. As a Christian who grew up probably 10 years younger than Tia, some of the messages of the 90's she was told felt very similar to what I grew up in...yet it seems Tia's environment made those messages dialed up to the extreme (whereas I grew up in a very grace-filled church). And it's heartbreaking. Yet, I know it's not uncommon and why so many people turn from the church. It can be full of hypocrisy, which is evident in Tia's story and pain on a few fronts.

Trigger warnings in the book: language, sexual abuse, and physical abuse. It can be a tough read at times. But, I think it's important to share the depths of the hypocrisy within the church, the sexism highly present, the warning signs of abuse, and the damage it causes. No woman deserves this treatment, and I'm glad Tia got out of her abusive situation. I pray this book helps others to have the boldness to do the same. We are so much more than wives, and I still believe in a God (not this twisted version in the book) who heals and has more for us as women.

A Well-Trained Wife is a powerful autobiography of Tia Levings growing up in Christian fundamentalism and marrying an abusive man. Reading about the abuse was horrific, and there are many trigger warnings that a reader should research before deciding to read this book. Tia writes beautifully, my only qualm with the book was I wish there was a bit more background on the Church, as I am unfamiliar with this.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for this eARC in exchange for my honest review. A Well-Trained Wife publishes on 8/6/24.