Thank you St Martins Press for the complimentary ARC and Macmillan Audio for the complimentary audiobook.

Synopsis - Told in a beautiful, honest, and sometimes harrowing voice, A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable and timely memoir about a woman’s race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.

So tough to read, even tougher to review... So, I’ll start by saying that if a woman WANTS to be in a marriage where she is expected to be subservient to her husband then ok.

But I found it frightening to read about women who are
- forced to remain uneducated.
- brainwashed into believing that being a wife and mother is the only path their life can take.
- Expected to always obey their husbands and religious leaders and allow their husbands to discipline them if they don’t.
- Talked out of using birth control so they can have as many children as possible so their branch of Christianity can take over the country.

Imagine going to a counsellor for help with your abusive husband to be told, “What you need… is to honor your husband more. Do what he asks… You need to ask yourself what you are doing that’s driven your husband to this point, and you need to submit to him.’

I’m pretty sure my head spun.

I mostly read this, and listened to some when I had a 2.5 hour drive on my own. I personally preferred reading it. Tia Levings narrated and did a great job, but there was just so much to absorb, I found myself more focused while reading it.

I would never ever give this brave woman's account anything but 5 stars. This is scary and what is more scary is that for a long time families like the Duggars, who belonged to this type of "Christian" mindset, were normalized as just having different experiences. Being a Christian myself, this breaks my heart that the distortion of the gospel that is happening to allow this type of abuse to occur, but I believe it 100%. And in our culture, it is is becoming more and more normalized with the political atmosphere right now. Tia Levings was incredibly brave to tell her story. I was engrossed until the very end, but for me, the end became a little muddled. But my goodness, what a powerful memoir.
Thanks to #NetGalley and #St. martin's press for the ARC.

I am going to be honest, this book broke me inside.

I grew up Episcopalian, in a major city, under the influence of acceptance and love for our communities, but I have ALWAYS been fascinated with the chokehold that Christian Fundamentalism has on so many in America. It's so hard as someone who grew up going to a mainstream church to understand how so many women not only JOIN Christian Fundamentalist cults (yes, they are harmful cults disguised as religion), but STAY in them, all while practicing and preaching ideas that go against Christianity in every way. This book is such a great insight to how people fall into this world, how they are manipulated and emotionally destroyed to stay.

Tia Levings' book is emotional. It is HEART WRENCHING. It is so, so needed in the America of today, where so many leaders in this world are bought and paid for by the Fundamentalist cult machine. To watch her struggle to fit herself in a world where she was nothing more than a utensil for man's power, to hide herself and her true personality for survival, to somehow ESCAPE from this world? Unbelievable.

A Well-Trained Wife is a good preview of the world under Project 2025 and the current GOP agenda. Where so many men in power would like to expand their influence and destroy the will of 50% of the population and their own children. It is a must-read for anyone who does not see the harm that Christian Fundamentalism ultimately does to society.

Tia Levings is so brave. So, so brave.

Honestly, I need to go touch grass for a bit and hug my babies tight.

I received an advance review copy for free from NetGalley, and I am leaving this review voluntarily. Honestly though, I would give this 1000 stars if I could, and plan to buy this book physically when it comes out.

Tia Levings' memoir, A Well-Trained Wife, is heart-wrenching. I both loved and hated it. I am so intrigued by people who are in the Quiverfull movement and others like it; I would definitely recommend this for those who are also wanting to learn more.

This book is absolutely devastating, and I am glad I was able to engage in the Author's story in this way. The abuse that she suffered at the hands of her husband and in the name of faith are heartbreaking and I am very impressed with the author's ability to be vulnerable and tell her story. There were so many layers to what happened to her and her children and I appreciate that she has been able to work through some of these things with a counselor to the point where writing this book and confronting her past was possible. The story is told with a good pace that kept the reader interested but also allowed enough time to really hear what was happening in the narrative. Though I know that things like this happen in the church, to hear this story really made some of it real in a way I have not been confronted with before.

I found this memoir so interesting and simultaneously devastating. I was intrigued by the perspective and appreciated the tie in to politics near the end.

Very informative but also painful read. I listened to the audiobook and the author does a great job telling her story. Good on her for her resilience and I’m glad she had the support of her parents as well as the way her writing helped her.

Could not put this one down even though I've already seen "Shiny Happy People" and "Keep Sweet and Pray", a first person account of a woman in this situation was riveting. It's so interesting to see how even the teachings of some of the more mainstream denominations can bolster these cult-ish communities.

“As much as I wanted to be a woman who found comfort in her faith, my faith continued to hurt me and hold me here.”

My favorite memoirs alway shred my heart.

I’ll make no promises about A Well-Trained Wife being easy to get through. As a fellow survivor of domestic and spiritual abuse, I was deeply affected by Tia Leving’s unflinching account of the way the church shaped her and the insurmountable pain she experienced throughout her marriage. This book brought me back to a dark place I don’t enjoy visiting. I’m not saying I avoid it, either. I wouldn’t read a memoir that I know will be relatable if that were true. Truth be told, I think the raw details of Tia’s life will be hard for most readers, regardless of what they might relate to. Beyond the abuse she is surrounded with, we are also privy to the harrowing pain of child loss, as well as some deeply distressing animal deaths. It isn’t comfortable, but I think we can choose to be with the author through her pain, knowing we aren’t experiencing it in real time as she did.

A Well-Trained Wife was beautifully written, even as the grimmest fragments of Levings’ life spilled onto paper. She did not spare us in her reality, and that’s the type of memoir I prefer. I was eager to see how things would turn out for this author, knowing the ugly familiarity of her suffering could lead to a hard earned wisdom. She was honest in her own self-discovery as she exited her toxic marriage, and it hurt to relate to her regrets, as well. I am so thankful that Tia Levings was able to leave, and I’m thankful that she chose to bravely share her vulnerable story.

I am immensely grateful to St. Martin’s Press, NetGalley, and Macmillan Audio for my copies. All opinions are my own.

First - WOW. I didn’t realize just how blatantly abuse is not only accepted but explicitly taught in fundamentalist Christianity. Tia Levings is incredibly brave for sharing her story and these insights into what goes on inside this community. I am horrified by what she had to go through and how her entire worldview was so small until she escaped. For this alone I suggest everyone reads this book.

A few things kept me from a higher rating. There were storylines introduced — like Allan announcing he was going to bible college and then planning to get a masters and phD — that were brought up and then didn’t happen and it never got mentioned again. Tia was concerned about how they’d earn money during all that so I found it strange it just fizzled out with no mention. I also was a little confused by the time leading up to escape (which I don’t think is a spoiler since the entire premise of the book is that she escaped) — they had been excommunicated and moved to the mountains and it read like things were actually better between Tia and Allan? And then suddenly he is violent and going to kill them all. I 100% believe everything that happened I just think some details were either left out or glossed over.

I appreciated learning about how Tia coped with the trauma through different forms of therapy but again found her second marriage glossed over, and the entire last section also dragged on long. I am so glad it seems her kids are thriving. I’m going to be looking Tia up and learning more about her journey through social media. I am truly invested now.

Thank you NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for this advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.

Do you ever finish a memoir and think "Wow, I want to grab coffee with them." That's me after getting to know Tia through these pages.

As the granddaughter of incredibly Pentecostal, evangelical grandparents, nothing she wrote about was too over-the-top or unbelievable to me; in fact, it's shockingly real through the stories my mother tells of growing up in a cult-adjacent situation during the same era. In that way, Tia immediately felt like a kindred spirit and someone whose story I was invested in. Because mainstream culture has exposed so much of the Christian fundamentalist fanaticism over the past twenty or so years, some might assume that her story would be interchangeable with other people who have survived.

While this *is* a story countless people share, Tia tells of her own experiences with such empowerment and authority. She is, as she writes that she always hoped she'd be, a beautifully moving writer, even while describing some of the most heinous experiences. (Did I want to fling my Kindle across the room more times than I could count? Absolutely. But never was I bored or indifferent while reading.) There's such a unique and strong sense of self that you know she fought damn hard for, and it's evident on every page. As you go along on her journey, you see her like a flower opening for the sun, becoming completely herself and truly realizing the immensity of her own power.

It should be read with care and obviously there are many triggers to consider, but it's such a worthwhile, powerful read. I look forward to seeing where she goes from here.

(Thank you to NetGalley and the author for providing me with a free digital copy in exchange for an honest review.)

Thank you to Tia Levings and NetGalley for an Advanced Reader Copy of this title!

"Without the service of submissive women, the whole patriarchy would fall".

I have been a long-time casual observer of Christianity from the outside - like many, I watched the Duggars specials and eventually the show, went to church summer camps and binged whole seasons of VeggieTales, and my dad even had Joel Osteen in the background Sunday mornings for a few years when I was growing up (he can catch me outside now, though). Now as an adult who enjoys FundieFridays, Jordan and McKay, fundiegirldoll, and the vast r/FundieSnarkUncensored community, I knew I had to read Tia Leving's book, especially after watching her interview on the "Shiny Happy People" documentary, which follows the rise and fall of the Duggars and the Christian Patriarchal systems that supports them and many other not-so-famous families.

While I feel like saying I "enjoyed" this book feels wrong, I had a hard time putting it down. Tia Levings is an incredibly gifted writer and the way she weaves her personal memoir through a veritable crash course of the major contributors to the systems we recognize as "Christian Patriarchy/Fundamentalism" today almost felt like a Forrest Gump-like tour through every major event, figurehead, and church Jen and James (of FundieFridays) have covered in their five years of content creation. For those who have not have had a huge introduction to Fundamental Christianity, Tia Levings gives more than enough information to understand the struggles she faced, and I feel will leave readers interested in learning more.

I think it is important for anyone concerned with Christian Patriarchy - especially as election season draws near - to read this book, but if topics concerning domestic abuse, self-harm/suicide, and religious abuse are triggering, take care when reading. Though I feel I have a generally strong stomach with sensitive material, I found myself affected by some of the things I read and had to take a break. I finished the book several days ago and still needed processing time before writing this review.

When we think of religious extremism, we tend to think of the worst of the worst - Warren Jeffs' polygamist communities, the Branch Davidians and their tragic last stand, and even the events of the distant past such as the Salem Witch Trials and the religious purges of the Spanish Inquisition. However, extremism is still here and unfortunately doing well in the here and now - Tia Levings faced the worst of the worst while most of us were learning the wonders of the World Wide Web, iPods, and numeric texting. The persecutory, suppressive, and abusive world she endured happened in the modern day, and is still happening to others - likely including people you know. This world is in the reach of the rest of us who did not have the dominoes fall the way she did, and knowing what she went through may keep those dominoes from falling in the near future.

Read with care. Vote life your life depends on it. Stay where I can see you.

This book was painful to read and it had nothing to do with the writing. It had all to do with the subject matter. Basically, this is a true story of how the author was able to break away from an evangelical church . Women are treated like property and have virtually no recourse to break away from the abusive situation. This was doubly hard as this is where a lot of our country is headed with limiting or removing women's rights. I am proud of the author for her courage to rescue her children and herself.

I really enjoyed this book. It kept me engaged and it only took a few days to read. I think this is going to be a good book club option for several clubs. I plan recommending to my book friends and I look forward to reading more by this author.

“Holy matrimony,” this is not.

A WELL-TRAINED WIFE is Tia Levings’ memoir, about her experiences being married to an abusive man, while living a cloistered life within a Christian fundamentalist church organization.

-Men are in charge, always.
-Women do not have autonomy.
-Men are encouraged to “spank” their wives.
-Women are expected to submit to their husbands, always, about everything.

The insidious power of abuse is staggering. Add in religious extremism, and you have created an emotional and psychological prison. Walls and locks aren’t necessary.

People often ask why abused women stay so long. Read this book, and you will begin to understand.

I think it’s important to note that the author isn’t attacking Christianity here. Her faith, miraculously, stayed intact. It’s the specific religious sect and the specific people who were the problem.

I received this book in both ebook and audiobook format. The author narrates the audiobook, which I normally love, but here I actually wish someone else had done the narrating. No offense to the author, but the experience was emotionally distant, straightforward reading. While I enjoyed listening to it, I felt more impact when I switched to reading the ebook myself.

*I received a free eARC from St. Martin’s Press, via NetGalley, and a free audiobook download from Macmillan Audio.*

If you're looking to be angered and to have your mind blown, this is the book for you. Levings lays bare the life she lived within her fundamental christian marriage and it's not pretty. I felt incensed and saddened while hearing what her husband put her and her children through in the name of religion. At the same time I felt in awe of her tenacity and strength to not allow him to fully dull her shine or talent. To think that people like this exist is frightening but this book gives one hope that change can happen. Tia Levings is strong beyond comprehension and this book really showed what determination can do even in the most seemingly hopeless of situations. If you enjoyed Educated by Tara Westover, this is a no brainer!

Thank you to Tia Levings, St. Martins Press, and NetGalley for an eARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Where do I even begin? This book was so much more than I was expecting. Levings talent to bring her experiences to the page and make us feel as though we are right there with her is nothing short of amazing. While reading I found myself crying, gasping, filled with anger, and nervous to continue reading at some points.

Even while writing this review I'm finding myself at a loss for words to accurately describe all the emotions this book embodies. A true story of the deep will to live and just how far a mother will go to save her children from harm. Truly dying to herself and sacrificing her body, mind, and soul to shield her children from the harm of their own father and the religious cult they are being forced into, Levings story of abuse, escape, and self-discovery will live within my mind for years to come.

Truly a 5-star read

CW: DV, marital rape, religious trauma, death of an infant, killing of animals/pets

Tia’s story of life in and escape from Christian fundamentalism and an abusive marriage, sanctioned by church leaders, is rage inducing and I feel so much grief for Tia, her children, and other survivors of these cults.

It’s also frightening, because as Tia states, these religious zealots are the same people trying to run America. They are the creators of Project 2025, they sit on the Supreme Court, and they are members of congress. Christian fundamentalism is a parasite that seeks to control and has nothing to do with the Love of Jesus.

The book is visceral. I feel Tia’s fear, pain, physical ailments. Also, with my objective view as the reader, and not the person lost in the forest, I wanted to scream at every ignored red flag, including her second marriage.

The ultimate message/takeaway from the book: Live for yourself. Do not put yourself in a box, refuse control, allow others to be disappointed.

This is a memoir about a woman living in and eventually leaving evangelical Christianity. I followed a lot of the Christian "mommy blogs" back in their heydey in the early aughts as someone who found the whole phenomenon vaguely amusing while also not believing that these women's lives were being portrayed accurately. Turns out that I was both right and wrong: Tia states that one of her biggest jobs was keeping the image of her family clean, so a lot of the squeaky clean image was a veneer. But some things I thought were completely made up - like Biblical Discipline, where husbands would consensually spank their wives for disobedience and then afterward show them they still loved and appreciated them by making love - actually happened. I remember reading about it and thinking it must just have been an excuse to have some kinky sex, but apparently I was wrong.

The main point I took from this: Tia didn't start in a fundamentalist church, "just" an evangelical one, but the teachings in her more "moderate" church primed her to accept more and more extreme practices. This is an unflinching book, meaning that there are graphic depictions of SA and DV. The prose is more matter-of-fact than dramatic, but that serves to underscore the mundanity of her abuse rather than detract from its horror.

This objective review is based on a complimentary copy of the novel..

This may be one of the roughest nonfiction reads I've ever been through. No one should have to experience this and to know that women are still stuck in these types of societies is heartbreaking.