What an incredible journey Tia Levings has led through her life. As an anxious little girl, Tia was essentially groomed to be the timid, seen not heard, well-trained wife by and in her fundamentalist church. Upon meeting a man who will become her husband, she is immediately met with aggressive and often physical abuse. In her book, Levings describes the life of a young woman who is mentally at odds with the church and their teachings but obeys both the ideology and commands of both it and her husband, to keep up appearances, and prevent physical violence in her marriage. After the loss of one of her babies, however, the cracks in her beliefs start to widen. As event after event takes place, and realities set in, she finally takes her children and escapes a horrific and abusive relationship, both with her husband and the fundamentalist church.

I hate to say it, but this was such a fascinating book. I hate that Levings spent so much of her life imprisoned by religious beliefs, and consequently her husband's wrath, and that I was so enthralled with her story, but she wrote so wonderfully that I couldn't put it down. I felt so much sorrow and defeat for her, but she built herself back so eloquently I was crying tears of happiness when it was over. How courageous and selfless for her to share this story with the world. Levings is a natural storyteller, weaving emotions and words together so smoothly that I often forgot I was reading a work of non-fiction.

Thank you to Netgalley and St. Martin's Press for this advanced copy in exchange for my honest opinion. An especially large thank you to Ms. Levings for sharing her story and for helping others who have had to endure hardships within religious and personal relationships.

4.5 stars
This was an incredible read. Tia is an unbelievably strong women and her journey was quite the rollercoaster of emotions to read about. I could not put this book down and I have read a lot of similar types of memoirs, with this one being one of the best. Highly recommend.

Thank you St. Martin's Press for the complimentary copy.

Thanks to NetGalley for the eARC of A Well-Trained Wife! I have wanted to read this book since I first discovered Tia's social media. As a still actively religious person, I never found the book to be completely anti-religion. Rather, Levings focuses on the aspects of fundamentalist and high-control religions that cause issues or allow for pre-existing problems (like her first husband's obvious mental illness) to flourish and thrive under cover of secrecy. This is an emotionally difficult book to read, and I recommend it with caution. I read it in one day and recovered by playing board games with my friends. This book will stay with me for a long time.

This is a terrifying, powerful memoir. The author recounts her life in a fundamentalist church relationship and is her story of survival, at any cost. Excellent book.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martins Press for the eARC.

This book will tear your heart to pieces. There aren’t appropriate words to summarize how this book made me feel. Unbelievable, a must read.

[4.5 stars] A shocking memoir of Levings' early experiences and eventual escape from her exploitative, oppressive Christian lifestyle - a chilling read in the current political climate with so many parallels to what 'Project 2025' could bring for all of us. Tia shares her struggles with physical, sexual and psychological abuse, sinister patriarchal traditions, estrangement from her loved ones, and how she was able to finally be free from an unimaginably horrific situation and eventually have the freedom to enjoy life on her own terms.

I'm glad this book exists not only to show the real dangers of an American christocracy and religious extremism, but also to give hope to other women wanting to escape a similarly oppressive situation that things are truly better on the other side.

Grateful I was lucky enough to receive an ARC of this book which kept me fully occupied in suspense on a long plane journey!

I know this world all to well and I appreciated how she went into the theology and not just the salacious details. I wish her all the best in her healing and hope lots of people read this book!

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC of this book. I loved this book. Tia Levings’ writing is not only beautiful but also deeply moving, capturing the reader's attention from the very first page. However, the content was disturbing and very difficult to get through. It's horrifying to learn more about how harmful cults and fundamentalist religions can be, and this book shines a stark light on those realities. Reading about the author's abuse and trauma was truly horrifying, yet her resilience and courage are inspiring. I recommend everyone read this book to understand the profound impact such harmful environments can have on individuals and to appreciate the strength it takes to escape them.

The author gives us an in-depth look into her time involved in the fundamentalist evangelical church, and even more importantly, discusses the reasoning behind why she stayed despite the abuse and the increasingly erratic husband. There were things I read that I then had to go back and read again, to make sure I had understood correctly. It felt to me as though the husband himself wanted to be worshiped, not just respected. Levings takes her readers through why she was in this position to begin with, why she stayed so long, and how she thankfully broke free of the abuse of the Christian patriarchy. Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read an advanced copy of this book.

This memoir had so many heartbreaking moments shared by the author, and it was even harder to realize that so much of this is going on in fundamentalist/evangelical families - and spilling over into our government. Her tale is a scary one for our future.

I found the writing a little unstable at times - there would be all kinds of details and then all of a sudden, big things seemed to be mentioned and skipped over. I needed a little more continuity. Things got a little wordy (to me) as she tried to figure out how to make changes in her life.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing this ARC for me!

This was a heartbreaking memoir about what it is like to be a woman in fundamental Christianity. This book is very well written and chronicles Tia’s life from growing up in a fundamental Christian religion to breaking out to save herself and her children as an adult. My heart ached as I read how she was groomed to be submissive and submit to her husband and religious leaders. I cried as I read through all the many instances of abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband. Then I got angry as she got up the courage to tell religious leaders what was happening, and they counseled her to be a better wife and woman to fix the problem. This book is well written, but it needs to be read with caution as there are so many triggering topics and scenes in this book. This was a very brave and beautiful book, and one I will be thinking about for a long time. I received an ARC, and this is my honest review.

Wow. This was really devastating. I had seen the author on Shiny Happy People and knew I needed to read this when it came out. What the author went through--much of which was church-sanctioned--was horrific. I'm so glad she was able finally to start growing and healing and move on. That was such a difficult job and it's important for all of us who wonder "Why didn't she just leave?" --when you think everyone else thinks this is normal or approved and you will ruin your family and God will hate you because clearly you just aren't submissive enough--that is a lot to overcome. Glad they all got out safely.
Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for this ARC.

good book about her life and leaving her religion. she was a fundie to something else and leaving an abusive relationship. she finds love again and then loses it with the book deal. what a interesting hard life with religious trauma.

Tia Levings bravery in writing this compelling and disturbing story and the skill and expertise with which she writes it is truly remarkable. Difficult to read and at times difficult to believe, Levings writes with honesty and introspection of how people can use religion as a weapon of repression and abuse. The toxic cycle of young girls being raised in an environment of submission, robbed of an education, with expectations of being nothing more than a servant to their husbands is church-sanctioned abuse and something that is hard to believe is happening in this day and age. An important story to all to read, hopefully this book will help those who have been able to break from the church and are struggling to make sense of how they were raised.

Disturbing book. Story of a young woman raised in far right christianity in which women were valued only for their ability to serve their husbands. The main character, Tia, was indoctrinated with these beliefs since childhood and married into a marriage based on them at a young age. For many years she struggled in a loveless, emotionless, sex-starved, non-stimulating marriage in which she gave birth to five children. The details of what she endured are difficult to read and often hard to imagine. Vastly different from the beliefs of this far left reader. Without giving any spoiler alerts, I encourage future readers to persevere in their reading to the end. I am grateful to Net Galley and to the publisher for providing me with an early copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

I received a free eARC of this book so I could write an honest review. Thank you to St. Martin Press and Netgalley for the opportunity.

I usually review books I can use with kids. But, as a former homeschooler, when I saw the title "The Well Trained Wife", I had to read it, so I requested it.

See, as a homeschool mom who was there for academic reasons in TN, there was a rock and a hard place situation where many of the homeschool activities, materials, and social connections were religiously bound. And my "Trap door", my online homeschooling support group was (and still is) the Well Trained Mind Forums.

And, indeed, from the beginning, Tia's story rang very, very true and familiar to me. I was lucky in that I spent the Satanic Panic in the more liberal Methodist church with college educated parents, but I too got religion with a side order of shame and a topping of fear. I was lucky in that I got to go to college, got to have friends outside the church, and eventually married someone who was much more supportive...but I could easily see where it could have been me.

And, as Tia's story unfolded, I recognized SO many people I knew. So many topics from homeschool forums. So many books. So much hurt. So much pain.

This is a compelling memoir. Painful to read in places because it brought back so much emotion. It's a story that shows the danger of rules instead of grace and how damaging the church and those who choose that path out of a love of power, not faith can be.

I am thankful that I got to read it. I hope many, many people do. The danger is real. But I am also full of sorrow that Tia HAD to experience, had to write it.

If you've watched Shiny, Happy People, read this book. If you're involved in a church,read this book. If you are a voter, read this book. If you're a husband, read this book. If you're a wife, read this book. .

It's that important.

Thank you so much to NetGallery for an advanced readers copy of this book.

This was one of my most highly anticipated reads of 2024 and it did not disappoint. I first came across Tia Levings while watching Amazon Prime's Shiny Happy People documentary.

The writing in 'A Well Trained Wife' is vivid, beautiful and lush. It really makes you feel what you're reading. The pacing is perfect and the story was thrilling, disturbing and hard to put down.

With the current political climate, I'm fascinated by the Christian Patriarchy movement as I believe we have much to learn from its survivors.

TW while reading this book for people that have experienced domestic abuse and violence.

This novel exceeded my expectations. I HIGHLY recommend it. So far, this is my favourite read of 2024.

This is a very well written and thoughtful memoir. The author shares her upbringing which leads to her young marriage into Christian fundamentalism. Some of the passages about her marriage were gut wrenching to read. But you get the sense that this woman, almost still a girl, is highly intelligent and will make her way through the utter despair and craziness of her life. I was so impressed with how the book covers topics like sex, birth, homosexuality and more with honesty and open mindedness. This is also a cautionary tale about the patriarchy in general and how the right has so much control over women’s lives. I am so glad Tia found her way out and up. If you liked Educated or Unothodox definitely pick this one up.

This was one of the most difficult and painful books I've yet to read - but I'm so grateful that Tia Levings put into words the experiences she went through. "A Well-Trained Life" is her memoir that looks back on her life, from her upbringing where church and religion served as a place of security and a means of connecting to others, to her future marriage where Christian fundamentalism took on became omnipresent force that nearly consumed her family.

While my own knowledge and background in religion is fairly limited as I grew up agnostic, I came to see how much of my own upbringing I'd taken for granted through this work. The bulk of the writing focuses on Tia Levings' life after her marriage to Allan, a man who initially appears to be a loving partner but reveals himself to be far from it. The long-standing mistreatment and abuse that Tia has to endure is excruciating and infuriating; as a woman, there were so many moments I wanted to scream. The fact that still, in this day in age, women are treated as beneath and subservient to men, that there are still populations that believe a wife's only duty to is take care of her husband and make him happy... is truly mind-blowing. Yet, Tia endured the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse all while raising four children and attempted to maintain some semblance of normalcy in their lives.

The triumph of this novel comes when she's able to take her words and utilize them as a source of power, identity, and sufficiency and take herself and her children to safety - and slowly rebuild a life all over again. She doesn't shy away from the difficulty of having to face and come to terms with her trauma, and the ongoing scars that still linger with her to this day.

This book should be approached with caution given the sensitivity of the topics, but it is nonetheless a book I think many should read. Very much looking forward to its publication in August 2024!

Thank you Net galley for the opportunity to read this book, it was even more eye opening on these fundamentalist churches. Tia’s account of growing up in the Baptist church, IBLP and other fundamentalist churches is frightening and how mental health issues were blamed on the women for not being submissive enough. It was interesting to learn that women are not allowed to ever be themselves or “have fun” only things the men or church elders thought should be fun. Tia knew deep in her heart this wasn’t the way life was supposed to be lived, but didn’t know how to question without being shunned or punished. It was truly scary in her situation dealing with her husband’s mental illness and told time after time he’s like this because you are not submitting enough. It’s hard to see that the church where one thinks she could get help and people would understand is the one that kept pushing her back into an abusive relationship and even shunning her to a remote town in the mountains. These examples make it hard for many to trust the church because there are the crazy stories like this. I hope Tia continues her journey of self discovery and writing she has a great future.