Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down by Corey Keyes is a guide to help people to flourish. What is languishing? It's a "low-grade mental weariness that affects our self-esteem, relationships, and motivation." This was an encouraging and highly applicable book to read, and I enjoyed the insights I gained from it. I really liked this quote from Henry David Thoreau, "Happiness is like a butterfly. If you chase it directly, it will elude you. But, if you turn your attention to other things, it will come sit softly on your shoulder." Thanks to NetGalley for the free digital review copy. All opinions are my own.

I didn’t get a chance to finish but enjoyed what I was able to read. Giving it four stars and I plan to finish reading it in the future when I have more time to read .

Languishing is a fantastic self-help novel for those seeking a bright spot in a dark world. It can feel like the heaviest weight in the world to languish, and I loved that this books highlights the ways that languishing is different from other forms of depression. While they're related, they aren't the same and it's an important distinction.

Languishing is about a state of being -- not depressed, not happy, just "meh." -- and for me this manifests itself in low energy and feeling numb. The author outlines a mental health continuum and part two of the book outlines actions to help move from languishing to flourishing. There is a checklist or quiz to measure "flourishing" and fortunately it says you don't have to check every box every single day but need 6 out of the 11 -- for me the section on psychological well-being I can check off - it's the emotional and social that sometimes lags. I found this to be a helpful framework to help guide me on where I need to focus my actions. As they say - there is no magic pill to address this (even if Big Pharma would like you to think otherwise!). I really liked the chapter on "Play." As we get older, this notion of playfulness gets repressed as we become "responsible and serious" adults -- the joy of fun and play is completely reenergizing and helps me flourish. An interesting and helpful read.

Thank you to Netgalley and Crown Publishing for an ARC and I voluntarily left this review

Thank you to Net Galley and Crown Publishing for the ARC in exchange for my honest review. This book delves into the idea of languishing, different from depression and burnout, a term coined by the author where one feels emotionally flat, unease, inevitability, procrastination, disconnected, loss of meaning in one's job, brain fog, unsure of opinions and lack motivation. In reading the book, I could relate to these feelings of being blah, checked out and not invested in one's life - a numbness. The first part is a deep dive into what languishing is and how our culture and society play a large part in the pervasive idea that we, on our own, should be able to deal with it and correct it. The author provides action plans and steps to reframe our idea of who we are and to become more resilient to negative thoughts about ourselves. The second part is how to deal with languishing and how to get help - self-growth, building relationships, acceptance of ourselves as we are, finding purpose and incorporating play into our lives. I enjoyed this book and the key ideas were great reminders of how everyone can to move towards a happier life.

I enjoyed this book for its practicality and action tips. The author provides excellent rationale for why so many people felt like they were and still are languishing after COVID. I felt reassured that the steps I am taking, such as continuing to pursue my hobbies and life goals will help me to stay on the flourishing end of the spectrum. This a great read for anyone that feels like they could be doing more to feel better.

This book was a needed find. I am still muddling through the effects of the pandemic on myself and society at large, and yet I couldn't find a point to begin on nor a fully formed idea to articulate. Then, behold, this book arrives before me and says everything I wanted to say and discusses things I did not consider. I feel validated by this book, which is to say something because the pandemic effect on people was both a common, yet unique experience, that is both simple and complex to capture. However, Corey Keyes did both with ease.

**Many thanks to NetGalley, Crown, and Corey Keyes for an ARC of this book!**

"Health is not just the absence of disease; it is the presence of well-being."

Do you ever feel like you're STUCK in survival mode?

Where each day blurs into the next, the cycle repeating ad nauseum, with little excitement on the horizon...where an overwhelming feeling of nothingness overtakes you...and you just can't explain why?

It's not depression...but it is SO far from the happiness and fulfillment we ALL crave as human beings. Corey Keyes has spent most of his life examining this phenomenon. He first set out to write a book about flourishing, a state where we are at our best, brightest, and most fulfilled. But when his research got into full swing, he realized that so many of us might never reach this pinnacle of mental, spiritual, and physical well being...because we were MIRED in languishing. Keyes is very careful to make the distinction between depression and languishing: languishing can keep us it a sort of prolonged state of inaction, uncertainty, and with a vast lack of motivation.

So what to do with these feelings and WHERE do they come from? Keyes spends the majority of the first half of this book going into detail about the spectrum of mental health and where languishing and flourishing fit in. Basically, decreasing depression does NOT automatically increase happiness (which is a strange concept, but Keyes explains it well!) This first section is also informed by Keyes' background in sociology (he is professor emeritus at Emory University), with charts and graphs, background from the Greeks, and emphasizes that our brain and its emotional life is built on a dual continuum: the opposite of happiness is not exactly sadness. He ends Part 1 with stats on the dramatic increase of anxiety and depression across the board, and how these mental illnesses are being recognized in progressively younger people, and how the pharmaceutical industry of course set out to medicate the problems away...but why isn't our Prozac Nation flourishing, the way he believes we should?

Keyes spends all of Part 2 exploring the 5 'vitamins' he feels we should incorporate into daily life to NATURALLY move ourselves from languishing to (hopefully) flourishing. Vitamin 1 is Learning (new hobbies, new information, new skills, etc) Vitamin 2 is Connection (socializing meaningfully with others), Vitamin 3 is Transcend (engaging in spiritual practices, even outside of organized religion), Vitamin 4 revolves around Help (finding your purpose) and Vitamin 5 is Play (just as simple as it sounds). After a fact-heavy first half where I felt that Keyes had teed up his second half nicely, I was eager to learn more about the vitamins and get more of the sociologist's insights on where, when, and how he thought we could integrate some of these ideas into our current technology-obsessed, isolated, overworked-and-underpaid, crumbling post-pandemic planet.

But what I got was a lot of what I would call blantantly obvious (and at times contradictory) advice.

Most of Keyes' second half can be boiled down to basic principles that have been recycled from self-help guides for years and YEARS on end. It almost felt like I was reading a book about physical health that simply advised me to diet and exercise more. This isn't to say that Keyes' ideas are BAD....they just also aren't always practical. For example, at one point Keyes regales us with a tale of a student of his who had trained for a high-paying career (at the urging of her family) but wasn't committed to the career and felt like her 'calling' was elsewhere. She wanted to move abroad and pursue fulfillment alongside a religious man...and ended up doing just that. Now, this is great and nobody would decry the courage of her convictions...but at the SAME time, Keyes doesn't acknowledge the privilege she possessed to be ABLE to make that choice...and how the vast majority of us wouldn't be able to drop everything and pursue a passion, no matter HOW fulfilling.

Keyes mentions some of the HUGE hurdles to humans being able to actually UTILIZE these vitamins on a daily basis, such as income inequality...but simultaneously glosses over their impact. It was so strange to have all of his little 'action points' tossed in at the end of chapters, but they often read more like soundbites than practical, deep advice. I'm not sure if co-writing this with a therapist, psychologist, or mental health professional would have been helpful? (I know some were probably involved in the research, but not in a co-authoring capacity...it makes you wonder!) For instance, another part of the book that jumped out at me as a new-ish mom was the section on postpartum languishing and how this differs from what we know as PPD. I initially was excited to hear that Keyes had spent time specifically on this subset of women and this issue in particular, and was excited to hear his advice, ESPECIALLY after he acknowledged that so many women are truly missing their 'village' and making all of the mom friends they had been promised they would make.

But Keyes' advice? New moms should... make friends with an old guy sitting on a park bench.

....

I know that Keyes meant well. But as much as I agree that being open minded CAN lead you to the kind of friendships and connections you would never find otherwise, I can say with some level of certainty that connecting with fellow moms in a real and authentic way is infinitely more practical (and beneficial) than hoping for a happenstance meeting in a park. This is just one more example that stuck with me as being rooted in a deep 'desire to inspire', but just didn't feel like the spark I needed to really take Keyes' word for it. There are also not one but TWO jaw dropping out-of-left-field revelations about Keyes' own life and mental health struggles that threw me for a loop (TW: very unexpected mention of suicide attempt), so please be forewarned that these WILL come out of left field!

Keyes has dedicated his life to the concept of flourishing and languishing, and his accomplishments are indelible in the field, not to mention groundbreaking in many respects. But despite the deep respect and admiration I have for this author at this intense look at what makes us languish or flourish as humans, I think this magnum opus would have served the populous best as a dissertation rather than an attempt at a plan of action orchestration.

3.5 stars

I was so pleased when I first heard Adam Grant discuss the term “languishing”, and I felt incredibly seen. Then when I saw this book on his list of recommended 2024 releases I immediately knew I needed to read it. And man did it live up to my expectations. I love a good nonfiction book backed by science and full of great studies but only if it takes it a step further and gives you actual, actionable advise, and this one did! And not just a fleeting summary chapter either but a solid half of the book focused on science-backed methods to increase flourishing. The writing is also interesting and dynamic and keeps your attention. Overall one of the best “self-help” books I’ve read in quite some time.

This is a great look at a concept that I struggle with. It has helpful tips about finding ways to flourish. It's not saying languishing will ever really go away, but there are was to work through it.

Thanks NetGalley for this ARC.

Flourishing is great. Flourishing is the goal. But I often find myself Languishing and Keyes made me feel all kinds of seen. I'm picky with self help, but this isn't really that, this is so much more. If you've ever felt stuck, lost, or like you aren't getting the most out of life (who hasn't?) try this.

I was fortunate enough to win an e-ARC of LANGUISHING by Corey Keyes from a Shelf Awareness giveaway. Thank you for the early look, and have a safe and happy spring!

My thanks to both NetGalley and the publisher Crown Publishing for an advanced copy of this book that is part memoir and part study of those feelings that so many of us are experiencing, making the days longer and less purposeful, and how we can try to get back on track.

When I was a kid everyone always talked about having a case of the blues, or the blahs. Or the not want to get out of beds. This was common, songs were written about it, I think cartoon characters talked about these feelings, and I remember cause I had them too. Days were things just didn't make sense. That things just didn't seem to be going the way they should, or that others said they should be going for me. Today these blues, blahs or whatever one wants to call them, seem to be effecting more people. There are jokes about people not wanting to be hang around with others, just staying home and not being happy, but being less stressful than being with others. And as we all know jokes are just a way sometimes of not admitting pain. Blame the pandemic, blame the current state of politics, the climate, or social media, this feeling is leading to deeper mental issues with lots of people, and shows no signs of going away. Corey Keyes has a word for this and in his book, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down, discusses this feeling, using his own experiences, research, and observation of the lives of others.

The book is part memoir, part study of the idea of languishing, and plans and actions one can take to not be stuck in place any more. There are a lot of reasons why many of us feel that life is not worth striving for, that plans have come to naught. Social media and its expectations and examples. Politics and the fact that many have learned that society cares very little for each other. There are many reasons. And this feeling of languishing can lead to deeper mental issues, depressions, suicide and other issues. Keyes looks at many factors, and gives suggestions and action plans to deal with most of them. The book also gives many examples from others including the author, who did not have the greatest of upbringings.

The book is different than a lot of other self-improvement books as Keyes is more of a sociologist, and brings a more research based and genuine facts to the page. There is no oh soon this Happiness Project will help you Rules over your Subtle Art of not giving a Fudge, or whatever the latest buzz words in self-imporment are. Keyes has suggestion, and plans, which might help, but these only work with the work put into them. And sometimes when languishing it is hard to get going, again something Keyes understands. Keyes is a very good writer, not trying to rah-rah a person to better thinking but presenting well reasoned, rational arguments to remind a person why life matters. And that the person you help might not just be yourself, but could be others.

A very good look at what a lot of us are dealing with, with practical ideas that might help. Again the tools are presented, we just have to try them out and see what happens. And frankly what it the worst that could happen? Everything stays the same, or maybe things get better. Seems like a simple choice.

From the publisher: Languishing—the state of mental weariness that erodes our self-esteem, motivation, and sense of meaning—can be easy to brush off as the new normal, especially since indifference is one of its symptoms. Languishing is a must-read for anyone tempted to downplay feelings of demotivation and emptiness as they struggle to haul themselves through the day, and for those eager to build a higher tolerance for adversity and the pressures of modern life.

I don’t read a lot of self-help books, but like a lot of people post-pandemic, I find that I am struggling to stay engaged and find energy and meaning. Languishing wants to take its readers from languishing to flourishing. Author Keyes hit home with me right from this passage in the Introduction: “The simple question ‘How are you?’ can feel like an unwelcome pop quiz, leaving you casting about for a socially acceptable response, not quite knowing the answer yourself.” Keyes includes a list of 12 symptoms of languishing, and all 12 of them rang true.

That said, I don’t feel like this book presented me with a clear path to change. I agreed with a lot of what I was reading (much of which I’ve read elsewhere but not all in one place), but I don’t feel inspired to run out and act on the Action Plans. I guess that’s the real challenge though, if you aren’t feeling inspired, to find inspiration and change.

Some of the sad but true areas the author covers are an epidemic of loneliness, the need for a certain amount of adversity to find a high life satisfaction, the necessity of finding purpose in life, and the joy of play. The chapter on play especially resonated with me. He writes about how many people these days are so obsessed with documenting whatever they are doing that they forgot to live in the moment. A lesson for everyone: “Don’t let your smartphone and your obsession with social media remove all the joy from your joy, okay?” (chapter 9)

This book is part memoir and part self-help. The author lived through an abusive childhood and continues to struggle with his own mental health. This helped me feel that this person at least understands what he is writing about. I also agree with him that we need to spend more time, money and effort on mental health, not just mental illness.

This is a gently encouraging book that I continue to think about. If you are feeling worn down and are struggling to find meaning, you may find Languishing worth a read. I read an advance reader copy of Languishing. It is scheduled to be published on February 20, and Galesburg Public Library will own it.

I enjoyed this book and learned a good deal. Languishing is something I think we all face at some point in our lives, and Keyes gives insight into how to combat it. He includes a lot of his own experiences, but it wasn’t enough to move this from research-based to memoir. Every major chapter ends with an Action Plan with questions or consider, actions to take, or things to contemplate. This doesn’t read like a book on how to stop languishing, though it does cover that. It more explains languishing, its impacts, its struggles, etc. Keyes writes in a manner that is approachable for any audience; he avoid sounding like academic or theoretical. He presents the material in a way that is understandable and relatable for the average person. The book was very interesting.

This book spoke to me. I had heard the title word before but the information presented went into great detail about what it means. I found it interesting to learn about languishing at different ages as well! Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.