very interesting memoir about St. Pierre's attempts to cope with and understand her mother, a mystical soul who set multiple fires

Nina St. Pierre's mother was a devoted, chaotic parent who was constantly searching for the answer to life's existential questions. This memoir details their interactions and the way St. Pierre's life was shaped by her mom's mental state. As the mother searched for answers, she took Nina and her brother along for the very bumpy ride. Nina's father came from privilege and her visits with him were a stark contrast to the life of poverty she endured most of the year. As Nina struggled to break free from her past with her mother, their love story is revealed. There is a point in this book where I just bawled while I remembered my own mother and that intense love. I recommend this book for anyone who wants to read how a mother's life impacts her children. It is brutally difficult in some parts and so sweet in other sections.

This was a difficult read for me. For a memoir it did not hold my attention at all, which memoirs I find interesting in learning about the persons life.
I received an arc from NetGalley and this review is of my own honest opinion and thoughts.

A powerful memoir! "Love Is a Burning Thing" a memoir by Nina St. Pierre was a heartbreaking story, about a family, mostly run by a mentally ill mother, with strong, passionate beliefs and much love for her children. Sad, strong, eye-opening and full of difficult realities, was very well written and perfectly conveyed. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Thank you NetGalley, the author and publisher for the review copy. All opinions are my own.

Love is a burning thing was an excellent read. I appreciated the raw and vulnerable honesty of the writing. Great cover art too!

Nina St. Pierre's memoir, "Love Is a Burning Thing," is a profound exploration of the intertwining forces of systemic oppression, suffering, and spiritual growth. With the precision of an essayist and the insight of a cultural commentator, St. Pierre examines these themes through the deeply personal lens of her own life story.

The narrative begins a decade before the author's birth, with a haunting and pivotal event: her mother's attempt to end her life by self-immolation. Surviving the ordeal, her mother encountered Transcendental Meditation during her recovery, a practice introduced by a compassionate caregiver. This moment becomes a foundational myth of sorts, setting the stage for the complex, often turbulent relationship between St. Pierre and her mother.

Growing up under the shadow of California's Mount Shasta, a location steeped in New Age spirituality, St. Pierre's childhood was marked by poverty and her mother’s fervent quest for faith. Without a stable foundation, St. Pierre oscillated between different homes and belief systems, acknowledging the theoretical possibilities of everything but unable to commit to any single ideology. Her mother’s framing of spiritual belief as a response to systemic injustice served as both an anchor and a form of detachment. This paradox desensitized St. Pierre to her mother’s eccentricities, manifestations of her deeper psychological issues, and led her to seek solace in destructive habits like drinking.

In "Love Is a Burning Thing," St. Pierre endeavors to unravel the complexities of her past, her mother's struggles, and her own place within that dynamic. Her memoir is a vivid, textured, and often harrowing portrayal of her bond with her mother, characterized by both unwavering loyalty and fragile tension. At its core, the book is about the experience of growing up with a parent who, as St. Pierre eventually understood, suffered from mental illness.

St. Pierre approaches her mother's story with humility and compassion, offering a well-researched backdrop that illuminates the compounding influences of patriarchy and capitalism. These forces, she argues, often drive individuals who defy societal norms to seek solace in religion, spirituality, or even conspiracy theories, in a desperate attempt to create a semblance of safety and control.

By sifting through the pivotal moments of her past, St. Pierre crafts a compelling treatise on mental illness, family trauma, and the dual-edged power of belief. Her work resonates as both a deeply personal memoir and a broader commentary on the societal structures that shape, and often distort, individual lives.

This book was so beautifully written! Nina's story is so vulnerable + intense. Hearing about the dynamic between her + her mother was truly heartbreaking at times! I paired the kindle book with the audiobook + loved that. It created such an immersive experience.

This was hard to get into and felt a little all over the place. I’m not sure what I expected but I usually love to read memoirs and this just didn’t connect with me. Too many quotes. Didn’t keep my attention.

This was an outstanding book. First and foremost, the writing is strong, illuminating,, thoughtful, honest, and provocative. And then the story itself…I found so many moments to be intriguing and frightening at the same time.. And throughout it all, you sit with your empathy matched only by that of the writer herself. Do martyrs only exist in lore and literature? Or can they live among us, misunderstood til they’re gone and then their truth excavated by those of us who make the journey from spectator to narrator? Highly recommend this book…

Love Is a Burning Thing is a powerful memoir by Nina St. Pierre. She explores her complex relationship with her mentally ill mother, weaving in themes of mental health, poverty, and spirituality. St. Pierre's raw honesty portrays a chaotic childhood with vulnerability. Though heavy, the book is ultimately inspiring as Nina finds strength and resilience, piecing together her past and forging her own path

While the subject matter is heavy, there's a strength and resilience that shines through. Nina's determination to piece together the truth about her mother's past, and ultimately find her own path, is truly inspiring.

Thank you Netgalley and Penguin Group Dutton for allowing me to read and review.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC!

Full Rating: 4.5 stars rounded up

Nina St. Pierre's “Love is a Burning Thing” is a captivating memoir that ignites on multiple levels. It's a poignant exploration of a daughter seeking to understand the enigmatic and troubled life of her mother, a woman who twice set herself ablaze in acts of self-immolation. St. Pierre transcends the boundaries of a traditional memoir, weaving her personal narrative with a sharp decolonial and class-conscious critique of New Age movements and California history.

This book resonated deeply with me, and I suspect it will with other eldest daughters of mothers battling mental illness. St. Pierre navigates the complexities of parentification and enmeshment, portraying her mother not as a caricature of good or evil, but as a deeply flawed human being. This nuanced portrayal avoids demonization and pathologization, instead seeking empathy, a quality often reserved for "likable" victims. As St. Pierre states, "We need victims to be likable. To receive compassion, we need hurt women to remain docile and needy." By refusing to paint her mother by a single brushstroke, St. Pierre offers a refreshingly honest and pro-survivor perspective.

“Love is a Burning Thing” doesn't shy away from the darker aspects of St. Pierre's upbringing. Her mother's mental illness often translated into housing instability, a layer that underscores the book's subtle anticapitalist message. St. Pierre delves into the history and meaning of self-immolation, questioning the generational patterns often associated with trauma. The exploration is courageous and insightful, ultimately leading St. Pierre to ask a profound question: are daughters destined to repeat the mistakes of their mothers?

St. Pierre's prose is both evocative and elegant, carrying the reader through her introspective journey. Her reflections are insightful and timely, offering validation and empowerment for those who have grappled with similar experiences. The book is particularly compelling for those raised by a mentally ill parent, offering a sense of solidarity and shared understanding. St. Pierre's refusal to individualize blame within her narrative is particularly powerful. She skillfully locates the roots of her dysfunctional childhood within the societal and cultural systems that shaped her mother.

“Love is a Burning Thing” is a powerful testament to the resilience of the traumatized and mentally ill. St. Pierre's journey of self-discovery is one of courage, compassion, and ultimately, liberation. This book is a must-read for anyone who has ever questioned their place in the world, particularly eldest daughters of mentally ill mothers, and anyone interested in the complexities of family dynamics and the allure (and pitfalls) of New Age spirituality. Thank you, Nina, for this fiery book - I can’t wait for the next one.

📖 Recommended For: Readers of introspective and honest memoirs, Those interested in exploring New Age movements and mental illness, Enthusiasts of dysfunctional family representation, Fans of Tara Westover's “Educated” and Chelsea Bieker’s “Godshot.”

🔑 Key Themes: Intergenerational Trauma and Healing, Deconstructing New Age Mysticism, Eldest Daughter Syndrome, Ending the Cycle, Empathy Over Pathologization.

Content / Trigger Warnings: Gore (minor), Fire / Fire Injury (severe), Abandonment (minor), Mental Illness (severe), Death of a Parent (severe), Alcohol (moderate), Toxic Relationship (minor), Domestic Abuse (minor), Abortion (minor), Drug Use (minor), Alcohol Abuse (minor), Suicide Attempt (severe).

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read an advance copy of this novel in exchange for my honest review.
To Nina St. Pierre: Thank you for letting us have a glimpse of your life in this way. Opening up and letting people in is no small feat, especially the things that have happened to and around you.
To anyone reading this review: you must, MUST read this! I felt so connected to the author during my entire read, I quite literally could not put it down until I finished the whole thing in one sitting. This memoir is one of the most moving books I've read this year, and probably one of the most intriguing memoirs I've ever read. Ms. St. Pierre's entire novel is just a work of art, full of stories of a hard but beautiful life. As someone that has also had a difficult childhood, this book absolutely touched my heart. Thank you again to the author for allowing the world to see this version of her, "shared sorrow is half a sorrow" fits perfectly here.

This book is a good example of a memoir as a woman tries to understand herself, her mother, and her very unstable childhood. I did not find it an uplifting memoir, even though St. Pierre is a capable writer. I ended up skimming some of it.

I do appreciate St. Pierre writing this memoir, however. I am amazed at her memory. I appreciate her insights on mental illness. There are many who might benefit from reading this account, being in similar situations. Nonetheless, this was a difficult book for me to read.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher. My comments are an independent review.

I really enjoy memoirs and biographies, so this was right up my alley. That being said, this was a difficult read. As other reviewers have noted, St. Pierre grew up in an environment that that left her with a lot to process. She and her mother's story is incredible; I can't believe what they both survived. This really highlights the struggle so many have with mental health, and how easy it is for they system/safety nets we think exist to let us down. Incredibly moving story! Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the free copy in exchange for my review.

- LOVE IS A BURNING THING is the latest entry into the memoir subgenre of “what the heck did my parents do to me?” What’s interesting about this one is watching St. Pierre’s understanding of her experiences change as she learns more about her mother and her mother’s family.
- This is also a book about searching for meaning and for a place to call home, and grasping how important those things are in building a life.
- The last layer underneath all that is that this is also a story of a broken social safety net, specifically in terms of single motherhood and women left to fend for themselves, even when they are showing clear signs of distress.
- The one thing I wish there was more of in this book is deeper examination of the concept and history of self-immolation. St. Pierre touches on a few famous cases, but I would have liked more introspection here.

Nina recounts her mother's tumultuous past in a poignant memoir that begins with a shocking incident where her young mother sets herself on fire. Surviving with severe burns, her mother immerses herself in transcendental meditation (TM), leading to a nomadic life that shapes Nina's upbringing. The memoir delves into their unconventional journey, her mother's mental decline, and the challenges of balancing reality and delusions in their family dynamic.

As Nina matures, she wrestles with understanding her mother's unconventional spiritual path while navigating the instability of their life. Their story unfolds as a profound exploration of mental health, spirituality, family ties, and the struggles of straddling two distinct worlds. It's a moving narrative that delves into the complexities of their shared experiences, leaving a lasting impression on Nina as she seeks to untangle her past. An emotional and insightful account that beautifully captures the turmoil of inner conflicts and the quest for peace amidst upheaval.

Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for an ARC!

I love memoirs and reading about people’s experiences and lives. This book did not disappoint. The challenges Nina faced and the strength of love she continued to have with the people that mattered most to her was profound. I also loved her journey with her mother. Though challenging is an understatement, she learned to accept her differences and continued to love her despite her faults and struggles. This book is an amazing story and one I would recommend to fellow readers.

I wasn’t a huge fan on how this was written. When it got to the other parts where she was citing other works/sources I don’t think it really added to the story. I feel for Nina and this is her truth so I hate rating it the way I did but I just didn’t like the way the book was put together and it was hard to get into and stay reading.

I put off reading this for a while because going by the title I thought it was a romance and the timing wasn't right but then I started reading and realized it was definitely not a romance. Nina St. Pierre and her brother are being raised by a single mom. When she was 20 years old she tried to commit suicide by setting herself on fire and then found a passion for Transcendental Meditation. I don't normally give a star rating for a story like this. Anita was a very complex person and if they were poor one thing can't be denied was her love for her children. There were parts of the story I skimmed, where the author sites other sources. I just didn't feel like it added anything to the overall story.

I would like to thank Netgalley and Penguin Dutton for providing me with a digital copy.

Love Is a Burning Thing is a memoir detailing the life of Nina St. Pierre and her experience growing up with her mother, a woman who, at the age of 20, lit herself on fire in the middle of her friend’s kitchen.

This book had many moments that shined - mainly when St. Pierre described her life with her mother. The writing was so emotional and gripping. However, the anecdotes were extremely disjointed and interspersed with biographical sections about her mother and philosophical research on the different belief systems of her mother. I craved more of the personal experiences from St. Pierre and found myself skimming over the rest. I wanted more background information on her life, as I felt the timeline skipped ahead without much explanation many times and I didn’t have any information to fill in the gaps. Overall, I enjoyed parts of the book, but I had a difficult time following what seemed like three separate books at once.

Thank you to the publisher for allowing me to read an ARC of this book through NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.