I have always loved Clare’s work and admired her approach to talking about grief both within her books and publicly. As someone 11 years into the loss of my Mum, I wasn’t sure if I needed or would benefit from reading this but can’t say enough how thankful I am to have read it.
Grief is so individual, but also a universal experience. The reassurance of many things I’ve felt is very comforting to read, and I cannot recommend this book enough to anyone on a grief journey. Thank you Clare.

This book is a mixture of a self-help book and a personal story. The author generously shares her thoughts and experiences of the most personal of nature to illustrate each of her eighteen promises about grief.

I wish this book had been around when I lost my son, I am sure it would have helped when I was forced to join the club that none of us want to belong to, but sadly it didn't. Reading it from the perspective of someone who is someway along the journey probably prompted fewer tears, although there were many moments when Clare Mackintosh's raw pain took my breath away, The promises to my mind were all true; I'm not sure I would have believed that back then, but this is a book you can return to and read the chapters that you need at a particular moment.

This sis a book that really helps in making sense of the myriad of emotions and issues that linger and console us that we are not alone. I am now going to act on to the author's advice to rehearse some answers to the question 'How many children do you have?' Thank you Clare Mackintosh!

Book Title: I Promise It Won’t Always Hurt Like This – 18 Assurances on Grief
Author: Clare Mackintosh
Publisher: Sourcebook nonfiction Sourcebooks
Genre: Memoir
Pub Date: March 1, 2024
Rating: 5 Stars
Pages: 225

Clare Mackintosh is a wonderful storyteller; I have read many of her thrillers.
This is a heartbreaking and hopeful story of her personal experience when her five-week-old son Alex died.
This memoir was inspired by a twitter thread she wrote on the 14th anniversary of his death.

I know this book isn’t for everyone but there just might be someone you know who is having a difficult time with grief and this just may be very helpful.

Book chapters are the 18 assurances promised in the title.
~ I promise it won’t always hurt like this.
2. You won’t always like awake at night sobbing until you cannot breathe
3. I promised the waves of grief that knock you off your feet won’t down you.
4. I promise you will find a way to say goodbye.
5. And a reason to keep going
6. I promise this won’t always be your first thought in the morning
7. That you won’t always fear the worst
8. I promise you won’t always feel so angry.
9. So Guilty
10. So tired
11. .I promise you will find someone who understands
12. I promise you won’t always be winded by someone else’s happiness.
13. Broken anniversaries
14. Or by questions you cannot answer
15. I promise you will be happy again.
16. That one day you will be able to pay it forward.
17. I promise you will not forget
18. I promise it won’t always hurt like this.

She also lists a few practical things that helped her
Additionally included Resources

Want to thank NetGalley and Sourcebooks (Nonfiction) Sourcebooks for this early eGalley.
Publishing Release Date scheduled for March 1, 2024.

GRIEF!!! For those who need to heal from a recent loss or any loss, this book is for you!!! This book has all the “feels”. It struck many nerves with me as I have lost numerous close family members in the past several years. It’s raw, emotional, a wonderful book for those who are dealing with loss. Thank you Clare for tackling this difficult subject. Beautifully written!!! Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this early release in exchange for my honest review. To be published March 2024.

This is the first book I ever received from NetGalley to read and review and it couldn't have come at a better time. Today is my dad's birthday, he should be 56, but he died in March 2023 and I've spent the day in bed because I am sad. My birthday is three days from now, we always celebrated together and since he cannot, I do not wish to do anything either. I'm glad to have this book available to me today.

I read a few pages and immediately reached for my laptop because already I had things to say, I connected with this book quickly. Too many times when people offer comfort on grief, it's religious and/or it's not helpful because lets be honest, no one knows what to say. But for me, what's most helpful is being honest without all the fluff because death nor grief is pretty. One of the promises made in this book is that the author will be honest and another is that the reader will not always hurt like they do initially, both of which resonated with me greatly.

As I kept reading, the sentence, "I'm okay" I said. "Because that's the script isn't it? I imagine you've said it too..." grabbed me because yes, I have said it too. Many times. In the hospital, at the funeral, and many times after that I keep repeating this lie that I'm okay without my dad because really what choice do I have? If you're honest it's awkward, people don't know what to say, how to comfort you, and you know there really isn't anything anyone can do or say to make it better, so you just say you're okay.

The author highlights how she believes asking the name of the person who died to be the single most important thing to ask someone who's grieving because typically people ask how the person died, as though the cause of death is more important than the life it took. I can't say his name out loud and I don't know if that's weird, but it hurts me. But it also hurts not to talk about him so I can also relate that the person they were, their identity is much more important than their cause of death. I found it interesting that the author shared the ugly thoughts of grief too, and one of those was that when she met a woman open to talking about grief, she thought that she couldn't have loved the person she lost because she can talk about it. I could talk about my dad all day with anyone that would listen but it's because I loved him so much that I want to share everything about him, even if it hurts and it's interesting how people handle things differently.

The author discusses how death of a loved one gets easier, not better, but easier and I too have found that as well as offered that to others. who are grieving. I still miss my dad terribly, it still hurts. But it's not quite as intense, thank goodness. Because if we had to live with the initial feeling of losing someone close to you, I don't know how any of us would make it through.

This book is a great guide and reference book for someone grieving, no matter how early or late they are in their grieving process. For me, I thought this was the perfect time for me to read it because I'm not considered newly bereaved, but it hasn't been a year yet so the feelings and thoughts are still quite fresh. This book validated the feelings I already have while preparing and comforting me for what's to come. It reads as though a friend or a older, wiser person is offering support and advice for what they've been through (because she has), which is incredibly important because we may not all have people to discuss our most personal thoughts with that understands. When I was in the hospital after it was made known that my dad's cancer was terminal and he didn't have long, I was offered support and I said, "I think the only person who could help me at all is someone who also lost their dad."

Thank you Clare Mackintosh for understanding, though I'm sorry that you do. And thank you NetGalley for sharing this wonderful book with me. I needed to know that it won't always hurt like this.

"Inspired by a viral Twitter thread Clare wrote on the anniversary of her son's death, this deeply honest, compassionate memoir will bring solace and encouragement to anyone who finds themselves walking with grief, whether for a season or for several years."

As someone who loves this author for her mystery/thriller books- HOSTAGE IS EXCELLENT, I was super interested to read about her personal life. I was unfamiliar with the tweet thread or that she lost her son when he was so young. This book was such a beautiful read and really portrays all the feelings of grief in a way where you feel VALIDATED in your own feelings. I also found myself saying, "Yes, this is exactly how I feel, what a beautiful way to express what I am feeling."

The most important reminder if you're going through grief is, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! <3

Thank you to netgalley and the author for this arc in exchange a fair and honest review.

An engaging and important look at grief. A recommended purchase for most general nonfiction collections.

The title of Mackintosh's book grabbed me immediately, the poetic table of contents brought tears to my eyes, and then the book itself offered page after page of exquisite writing, sharing her life events with spare yet telling detail.

As a book coach for memoir writers, I knew I'd use this as a mentor text when Mackintosh writes: "I write to make sense of the world, and of my place in it, and I write to find people who feel the same way I do. I write in the hope that my words will resonate with others; that they will read a line over and over and say, This. This is how I feel." This is why we write memoir. Mackintosh writes of her grief and yet always has her reader in mind. Rather than a chronology of her experience of grief, Mackintosh skillfully writes thematic chapters that can each be read as a standalone piece. She alternates between reflections on her own experience and gentle advice (and I use that word loosely) for the reader. The reader feels seen and left with hope that it won't always hurt like this.

“Loving other people doesn’t make it easier to lose someone; it simply gives you a reason to keep going.” Great quote by Clare Mackintosh.
…
Clare Mackintosh opened her personal life to readers about the grief and pain she’s been living with since Alex died. It’s taken her many years to reach this point where she can write about her experience.
…
Grief hits everybody differently and I’m glad that Clare and her husband didn’t lose sight of each other in the grieving process. Most couple grow apart while it seems both of you bonded.
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It’s hard to rate a story based on personal experience. Clare shares what grief feels like to her and offers others the ability to relate to her grief or understand it.

Such a validating book - I wish it had been around for me to read when I was mired in the depths of my grief. Sometimes I feel dumb that after 13 years, my grief can STILL be triggered so quickly that I don’t even begin to see it coming. This book reassures me that I am not alone.

This book is a fantastic companion for anyone who has experienced grief. It helps the reader to remember that they are not alone. Thank you so much to NetGalley for the ARC.

This book was serendipity. I had just received news that my precious Elmo, a 12 year old Springer Spaniel would not survive his cancer diagnosis, when an email arrived with the offer to read this galley. I devoured it from cover to cover. The author doesn't sugar coat grief, but she tells her story, which is heart wrenching. She offers a number of promises that takes you through the grieving process with candidness and empathy. This book soothes the soul, and although my pain is still real, I know that it will change over time and I will be o.k. Loss is part of love and life, but it still isn't easy. This book is that friend, who has taken that journey, and is beside you to remind you that grief can and will change and that we need not be ashamed to feel it for however long it takes, and that everyone grieves differently and in their own way. I am anxious to read other books she has written, and I hope to buy many copies to hand out to someone in need. Thank you so much to Clare and for the opportunity and the timing of this book.

I had just finished reading Clare Mackintosh’s latest thriller, so it was wonderful to get a different spin on her writing with the evocative memoir, “I Promise It Won’t Always Hurt Like This.”

Grief is an ugly beast that affects people in many different ways. Last March, I suddenly lost one of my closest friends. Without time to cover from that, I then lost my dear aunt and godmother. For the most part, I have avoided all grief books, trying to handle my "own way." Hence, I hesitated to read this book, even though I was asked to review it.

I am certainly glad that I did. First of all, the author made clear, grief never completely goes away. I lost my dad twenty years ago but still think about him every day. Certainly, losing two very important people to me this year has made me miss him all the more. While I thought I would not want to hear someone else's struggles, Mackintosh's voice was what I needed in a time when I keep telling myself I am okay (even though I'm really not). Mackintosh does not trivialize one's pain--though she lost her child at five weeks, it's clear she empathizes with all of our losses.

Parts of this book can be difficult to read because it will remind the reader of her own heart ache, but Mackintosh incorporates hope into her message.

Hands down, five stars.

Thanks to the author, Clare Mackintosh, and Sourcebooks for this most needed read.

In this deeply personal book the author shares her grief experience surrounding the death of her infant son and a few years later her father. Clare Mackintosh has given us a glimpse into her journey that is both heartbreaking and insightful. If you have ever experienced the death of a loved one you will recognize yourself in these pages and if you haven’t experienced the loss of a loved one this book will be a resource to the grief process for when you do. The author’s heartbreaking story may have you shedding a few tears, but her words of wisdom, encouragement and, at times, her wit, gives the reader a better understanding of grief which is both deeply personal yet universal. This is a book that I am sure that I will revisit numerous times when dealing with my own feelings of grief. Thank you for mastering the courage to write on this often taboo subject, it will surely help numerous people, myself included, as we navigate our own grief.

This book was brutal but in a beautiful way. Hoping this books gets the PR it deserves because so many people could benefit from it.

From an author well known and loved for her exiting thrillers, this is a very different offering.

Beautiful, sad, heartbreaking, hopeful. A memoir of a mother’s love, and her wish to help others if she can. I am in awe of her ability to write of her feelings and experiences in the hope that others may benefit. Ever thoughtful but never maudlin, the balance is just right.

There is always hope that the pain will ease.

Thank you NetGalley and Sourcebooks.

Although Clare Mackintosh is best known for her thrillers, this heartbreaking but hopeful memoir/guide to grief is a very worthy addition to her work. Grief obviously isn't the same for everyone, but there are still some things in here that will comfort anyone who is grieving, whether the loss is new or old.

Content warning: infant loss

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC

Each of us will experience grief, and none of us will know how it will affect us until we do,

Chances are good that if you are reading about this book from bestselling author Claire Mackintosh, you are struggling with loss. With a background in law enforcement, Ms Mackintosh is known for her bestselling thrillers like Hostage and I Let You Go. But she also has experienced terrible loss, and with this book she makes 18 promises to others who are themselves grieving, sharing the story of her unwanted journey through the process. She does not profess to be an expert on the subject, just someone from whom a loved one was taken and who has lived with the struggle to survive that loss.
I unexpectedly lost my mother just a few months ago, and was curious to see what lessons this book might hold for me. Having my father pass away almost four decades ago in a different but still unexpected way, I have been surprised at how different my grief feels this time around. Is it because I am older now than I was when my dad died? Is it the difference between losing a father vs a mother? Should I be crying more than I am? What Ms Mackintosh wants readers like me to know is simply this: there is no right or wrong way to handle your grief. There is no set timetable, no emotion that must be felt or that should be off the table. When my father died, the single most important thing that anyone said to me at the time was that it was OK to be angry at people, like those who said things that they thought were helpful or appropriate but instead I found hurtful or insensitive. (Because people did say and do things that made me angry, and being told by a friend who had herself lost a parent that anger was not inappropriate saved me from being angry and feeling guilty about it.) As I read the different chapters, each of which relates to one of the promises the author has made, some of what she has felt or done resonated with me and some did not…and that, she wants us to know, is normal. She received advice from people over the years that helped her, and other suggestions that did not (I for one will not find running to be a good way to work out anger, for example). In the end, this book is a very caring and honest discussion of a topic that each of us will experience, and it will hold some measure of guidance or reassurance to each reader when they are in need of that honesty and reassurance. Ms Mackintosh, I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your story, your pain and your counsel. I did find comfort in your words, and hope that others will find it as well. Thanks as well to NetGalley and Sourcebooks for sharing with me an advanced copy of this lovely book.

When Clare Mackintosh loses her five-week-old son, she discovered there is no clear path to dealing with grief. She wrote this book to help others deal d]with grief and loss. She was inspired to write this book based on a viral Twitter post on the anniversary of her son’s death.

I usually read a Clare Mackintosh novel for the twisty thrillers she weaves, but in this one she wrote a beautiful memoir and grief guide. The story behind this book is heartbreaking. The things she went through are horrifying and would make most tear up, it surely did me. You could just feel her emotions coming through the pages as you read them, her pain so raw and real. While I’ve never suffered loss to the caliber that she has, I have suffered many miscarriages and the loss of my mom. I found myself able to relate to guidance she provided.

This is one of those books that I am just in awe of the author for writing. It would have taken so much out of her to write this, and it would have been so hard. I do hope that by writing this book she finds some comfort in knowing that she is potentially helping others deal with grief.

If you are, or have suffered a loss, I encourage you to check this book out, it is worth the read.

Thank you so much to the author for writing this book and the publisher and netgalley for the e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

I recently read and loved I Let You Go by Clare Mackintosh, so when I saw she’d written a nonfiction book, I was immediately interested.

What a gift that Mackintosh was willing to plumb the depths of her grief to share her hard-earned lessons of hope. Her stories in I Promise It Won’t Always Hurt Like This are tragic, raw, wonderfully told and, ultimately, uplifting.

This is an important book to read not only if you have experienced grief, but also if you want to support someone who has. (Hint: Never, ever start a sentence with “At least.”)

The 18 assurances shared in this book aren’t necessarily new concepts, but Mackintosh’s brutal and beautiful stories are proof points underscoring that these messages aren’t just pretty words. There really is a way through.

Mackintosh’s personal grief stories involve the death of her five-week-old son (a twin) and her father, so if your own losses are similar, you may find this book particularly hard or particularly helpful—likely both.

I Promise It Won’t Always Hurt Like This will be published by Source Books on March 1.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"I Promise It Won't Always Hurt Like This" by Clare Mackintosh is a masterfully woven tapestry of emotions, a symphony that elegantly explores the realms of grief, resilience, and the transformative power of love. Mackintosh's prose is not just words on paper; it's a melodic dance of evocative and tender expressions, immersing readers in the intricate layers of loss and the triumphant journey towards discovering hope within the tapestry of pain. The characters breathe life, their rich development adding a touch of authenticity to their relatable emotional struggles. This novel gracefully navigates the delicate balance between heartbreak and redemption, leaving in its wake a profound resonance that speaks to the indomitable spirit's ability to endure and rebuild. Mackintosh's narrative finesse and empathetic touch elevate this work, making it an irresistible, compelling read for those in search of a deeply moving story of healing and the promise of second chances.