This one was so so sweet. I love reading YA romance when I need a breather, not because it is less substance, but because it always has something to teach me. Truly an incredible look into the lives of young people and the world of D&D.

I really, really wanted to like this one. While I don't play DnD, I have lots of family who do, so am surrounded by the lore.
The story just short of fell flat. And it was deeper into rules and strategy than I expected. I imagine it would be better for someone more invested in the world's of DnD.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for granting me free access to the advanced digital copy of this book.

Unfortunately I DNF'd pretty early on. As a DND player since a teenager I was pretty excited for this.
However, the constant huge drops of DND rules and terms in just the few pages is enough to alienate any reader unfamiliar with DnD and for those who are it feels like drowning trying to come up for air in search of any character building. But, the character we got this early on was glaring insufferable. As a military brat, I can sympathize with moving often and uprooting and as a member of LGBTQIA+ I was excited for more positive rep. A teenager is complex but this character was anything but.

I admittedly don't read much YA anymore, but I discovered this book when I was just getting into DnD myself and now I NEED MORE BOOKS WITH DnD SUBPLOTS!! (Also, I adore the cover!)

This book was great and light-hearted with a lot of heavy hitting topics like homophobic small towns and abusive relationships.

When Darcy is moved to a small town she has to adjust to a new school, small town homophobia, a long-distance relationship, and missing her old Dungeons and Dragons group. A new classmate named Art invites Darcy to join his DnD group though and as their friendship grows everything is going to change.

I thought this was a super fun book. (It may have really hit me in the feels because I too dealt with a big move late into my highschool life.) I loved the characters and the DnD aspect. The way Darcy stands up for what she believes in and enacts change against a small town's homophobia was beautiful. She has less success dealing with her own personal problems, but learns that making the right friends is a huge step in the right direction.

Personally, I was just as invested in the Dungeons and Dragons aspect of this book as the main storyline, and I honestly hope more authors write stories like this in the future and hope more publishers pick those stories up.

'Who We Are In Real Life' is a book I would have loved to read as a teenager and as an avid fan and player of DnD it was nice to have a book that can represent it in such a positive way. I wasn't sure I would like Darcy in the beginning, I understand what she's going through but at the same time, I felt she could not have been such a little snot about everything. Thankfully she eases up on the attitude and you eventually get to see how Darcy is. Art is such a sweetie pie and I enjoyed reading how him and Darcy Interact. I loved the chapters that were held within the DnD campaign the characters were playing and the way it parallels with what they are going through in real life. I will say that all the characters seem pretty in line with what a typical teenager should act, and while I think any teen would enjoy that a person, like me in their late thirties would find it a little too much. I do love the LGBT+ Representation and the themes Koops explored with her book. Had I been in the recommended age range for this book it would have gotten a higher rating.

Overall, a interesting YA book for those in the age range.

I found myself being super hopeful and excited for this book - D&D is a creative outlet that I adore and I love reading about them in contemporary romances, especially YA and queer literature; however, the characters made it extremely difficult for me to not only enjoy the plot but the course of the relationship set throughout.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book was fun at moments and kind of frustrating at times.

The things I liked:
There's a realistic portrayal of a kid debating how to stand up to his father on what he believes. Readers see how hard that is and the dual point of view really worked here.
There's a realistic portrayal of a kid feeling unwelcome by her new town and schools and how helpless and angry that makes her feel.

Things I didn't like:
Both characters love Dungeons and Dragons, but we only see one get to play and talk about it. I do hate the competition of who knows.more. it's realistic. I see kids do it all the time. But I just really dislike that kind of perspective of nerd spaces. This is not a moral judgment. I'm just complaining.

Overall, I think this is a well written book that tackles both teens perspectives really well as they navigate challenging situations while just trying to figure out who they are as people. (Did I personally like it? Not really. But I would recommend this to someone looking for a book with characters who play Dungeons and Dragons.)

3 out of 5 stars

I really, really wanted to like this one because of its themes and because it's about D&D, but I just couldn't get into it. A rare DNF for me.

I love D&D and usually anything adjacent to that I fall in love with as well. I think I truly enjoyed this book more because I'm obsessed with D&D but it still ended up falling fate for me. I think the character may have been the problem, I understand this is YA but their attitudes and actions pulled me away a bit. But I loved some of the side characters more. I enjoyed the cuts into their D&D game to me it added into the story, I thought it was an interesting view into their game, personalities. But some parts were cringy and to me not something I'd hear ttrpg-ers say but they are teens so maybe it is....

Thank you to NetGalley and Groundwood Books for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Who we are in real life was an interesting read, as a adult who was formerly a teen that learned how to cope with serious difficulties in my life partially through DnD and other role playing games I found this a pretty relatable read.

This book was fun and in my opinion did well incorporating DnD into a story without overdoing it. The characters were fun if a little bit flat but overall seemed to fit for their age. I don't have anything amazing to say about this book but also nothing negative to say. It was a fun book and if the story sounds interesting to you I suggest giving it a shot.

Unfortunately I had to DNF fairly early on cause it wasn't quite for me. There was far more D&D than I imagined - half the text was the D&D story and half the text was talking about D&D and as someone who doesn't play D&D and has never played D&D, the book offered no context for non-players. What I did read of the prose was alright but I didn't quite enjoy the MC's attitude so I decided on stopping as it just wasn't for me. (+) sapphic rep, queer disabled author

Thank you to Netgalley, House of Anansi Books Press, and Groundwood Books for giving me this arc in exchange for an honest review!

I was really interested in, "Who We Are in Real Life" by Victoria Koops because of the teen romance centered around loving DND, which I haven't read before. The DND aspects of the book are the most entertaining and atmospheric parts of the book, but they can sometimes feel shoehorned in since they are utilized to further explain the characters actions and feelings. Unfortunately the main characters, Darcy and Art, were not very likable. Darcy is rude to everyone around her including her moms because she was forced to move away from her city (which felt like an extreme reaction). Art is a doormat who rarely stands up for himself, Darcy, or his sister when it came to defending them against homophobia directed to them by his father. The romance between these two characters ended up feeling forced because of how much their morals clashed and the overall lack of chemistry. Based on the actions of the characters I felt like they should not have stayed together. DND was truly the only thing these characters had in common. The plot didn't kick off until half-way through the book and the ending was underwhelming since the main conflict was not high stakes to begin with. I give this book a 2 stars because the fantasy elements were enjoyable.

I'm a big d&d lover so I picked this book expecting a cute, queer romance with a lot of d&d. Overall I think this one ended up falling a little flat for me but that doesn't mean it was a bad book. There were several things that I did like though. I loved the d&d campaign. It was so easy to immerse myself in it. I would have liked to learn more about the other characters in the d&d campaign but I still really enjoyed it. Unfortunately the rest of the book just wasn't for me.

Thank you to the publishers and netgalley for this arc in exchange for an honest review

This book immediately intrigued me - as a D&D player, I really liked the look of both of the characters (both in game and not!). I’m not as much into YA anymore, but I wanted to give it a shot, since there should definitely be more nerdy romances in the world!

This book follows Darcy, who has just moved to a small town so her mom can finally head her own clinic. She’s not happy about it - she leaves behind a group of friends and a D&D game she’s put a lot of effort into, a boyfriend who she thinks she loves, and a community that supports the fact that she has two moms and she herself is bisexual. It feels like a downgrade, to be honest.

Art is a nerdy kid who lives for Game - his mother died years ago and his deeply conservative father threw himself into work, so he’s basically raising himself and his sister. Game is the place where he can have adventures unlike any that are available in the real world. When he meets Darcy, though, everything changes … he wants to live in real life.

This book deals with a lot of heavy subjects, fairly well - homophobia, hate crimes, partner abuse, parental neglect, religious trauma - and it was a great story, switching between Darcy & Art’s stories both in real life and in game. I did feel like the last quarter of the book went by too quickly and things were wrapped up a little too neatly, which was disappointing, but overall I’m glad I read it!

This one is top of mind because I just finished reading it as I type this, and what an intense but ultimately joyful ride! I can only imagine what diehard D&D friends will love about this book, but as a casual observer and sideline enthusiast, I so enjoyed getting to step into that world. The gaming descriptions are immersive and the characters feel real and—at times—achingly relatable as they try to reconcile their D&D selves with their “in real life” selves. This book deals with identity, family trauma, and difficult and abusive relationships, but it ultimately bends towards hope and finding courage in all parts of yourself to do what’s right. This is Koops’s first book, and I can’t wait to see where her marvelous brain takes us next!

Who We Are in Real Life was a book I absolutely wanted to fall head over heels for, but instead I fell... flat. The romance piece was simply not there for me, and though the main character was incredibly lovable, it just wasn't enough to save the book for me.

Oh boy. I really wanted to like this one but uh….yikes. I would start with the positives except I don’t have any, and that’s not for lack of trying.
Firstly, Darcy is just an extremely y likeable character, she’s absolutely horrid to everyone, especially her mothers. It was super weird that she calls them by the their names and not mom, mama or anything like that. It felt like they weren’t actually a family. I get that moving is hard when you’re a teen(I get it more than anyone, I moved across the whole of Canada when I was 13 and it was one of the worst experiences of my life) but that’s no excuse. She’s not very nice to her love interest Art either. In fact, she’s quite often down right horrible to him. Another thing I noticed is that she only wanted to talk about herself and her interests, not him or his.
Secondly, the romance was awful. Art, the other main character, is an apathetic cishet white boy who only cares about queer phobia when it affects his life (eg, when he develops a crush on Darcy, or it affects his sister) it takes the whole book and for Darcy and his sister to call him out before he gets it. Sort of. I have a very hard time rooting for a romance where one half is an ignorant cishet boy who only cares about the queer community when it directly affects him.
The antagonist was barely there, a looming menace that had no real pay off. As someone with a father worse that Art’s, let me just tell you the final fight between him and Art would not have gone that way IRL. It would’ve been so much worse.
As the book went on I found myself increasingly confused as to how much time was taking place between events. Was it a few days? Hours? Weeks? I have no idea. I’d start a new chapter thinking it was the next day but apparently weeks have passed and I’d only find out half way through the chapter. The D&D sections of the book should’ve been the best part but they were just as bad for me: dropped haphazardly throughout the book and honestly dragged the story down. I found the writing to be lacklustre, the pacing off, and none of the characters endearing or likeable in anyway. All the side characters felt like cardboard cutouts.
I really wanted to like this one but alas. 1/5 stars.

Rating: 3.5 stars

I wanted to LOVE this book, but overall I simply like it. This was a decent YA story that bounces between in game and out of game storylines and both have similar story beats and arcs. And I read this in only a couple hours so it definitely was a nice quick read.

I liked the D&D group and their adventure, and I enjoyed getting a glimpse into Darcy’s geek past and her connections with her old gaming store.

What greatly lessened my enjoyment of this story was the queer struggle and hate present in this book. Yes, I know that those of us with a queer identity often face these encounters and issues and struggles. I guess I just wanted this story to be focused on more than just that struggle. Because it felt like 85% of this book was bullying and homophobia and hate, and it took until the very end for a few people to stand up and ally against that treatment. So instead of feeling like a moment of triumph to me, it just felt like a lessening of the burden that was the rest of the book.

So I will say that my rating isn’t because the book wasn’t written well, because it was. And the characters felt real, and their experiences felt real. It was a good book. My rating is purely because of how I personally felt while reading it, and that was that I wasn’t enjoying the feeling. There’s enough discrimination and hatred in the world as it is. And perhaps it is unrealistic to want less of it in my fiction, but I enjoy it so much more when we have stories that celebrate and accept the diversity we would wish to have in the world.

Again, I will say that this book was a good one. Like I said, it only took me a couple hours to read it, so it was captivating enough to keep me reading it. I enjoyed the division of following the in-game adventures and seeing how there were certain parallels to the out-of-game plot. And in the end, the group of friends banding together to stand up against the homophobia of certain leaders in the community was nice.

This is a book I would still recommend, and it is a book I will keep on my shelves, but it won’t be one I recommend as often as I would some of the other TTRPG novels I have read in recent months.