The absolute definition of cozy and nostalgic. Perfect for DnD enthusiasts. I found myself kicking my feet during this book.

*As always I want to thank the author and publisher for the chance to have an advanced copy of this work.*

This story was a little hard for me to get into due to the writing style, but I was really happy that I pushed through and stuck with it. Being someone who play D&D in some way everyday I really enjoyed seeing the take on relating it to real life situations. Because even though I use both that and reading as forms of escapism this book also gave me a refreshing take on anther way to romanticize not only life but the journey.

Thank you net galley for the e-arc copy of Who We Are in Real Life by Victoria Koops in exchange for an honest review.
This is the first book that I read that had D&D so prominently featured in the story and plot. And I LOVED IT! At times it felt like I was playing myself. She made both the magical table top game world and the 'real life' world with her characters so lively that I couldn't choose which one I liked more. I loved the story's LGBTQIA+ representation in this YA. And I wish I had a story like this when I was in high school.
5/5 stars

Darcy, an avid gamer, has just moved to homophobic Unity Creek with her two moms. When she meets Art, who invites her to join his Dungeons and Dragons game, she falls for him immediately. However, in addition to her violent ex-boyfriend, who refuses to consider them over, Art’s dad forbids him to see her when he finds out she has lesbian moms. She decides her school needs a queer-street alliance to support kids who are experiencing bullying for being gay. The story alternates with Art and Darcy’s D&D game which parallels their real lives.

This one was so so sweet. I love reading YA romance when I need a breather, not because it is less substance, but because it always has something to teach me. Truly an incredible look into the lives of young people and the world of D&D.

I really, really wanted to like this one. While I don't play DnD, I have lots of family who do, so am surrounded by the lore.
The story just short of fell flat. And it was deeper into rules and strategy than I expected. I imagine it would be better for someone more invested in the world's of DnD.

Unfortunately I DNF'd pretty early on. As a DND player since a teenager I was pretty excited for this.
However, the constant huge drops of DND rules and terms in just the few pages is enough to alienate any reader unfamiliar with DnD and for those who are it feels like drowning trying to come up for air in search of any character building. But, the character we got this early on was glaring insufferable. As a military brat, I can sympathize with moving often and uprooting and as a member of LGBTQIA+ I was excited for more positive rep. A teenager is complex but this character was anything but.

I admittedly don't read much YA anymore, but I discovered this book when I was just getting into DnD myself and now I NEED MORE BOOKS WITH DnD SUBPLOTS!! (Also, I adore the cover!)

This book was great and light-hearted with a lot of heavy hitting topics like homophobic small towns and abusive relationships.

When Darcy is moved to a small town she has to adjust to a new school, small town homophobia, a long-distance relationship, and missing her old Dungeons and Dragons group. A new classmate named Art invites Darcy to join his DnD group though and as their friendship grows everything is going to change.

I thought this was a super fun book. (It may have really hit me in the feels because I too dealt with a big move late into my highschool life.) I loved the characters and the DnD aspect. The way Darcy stands up for what she believes in and enacts change against a small town's homophobia was beautiful. She has less success dealing with her own personal problems, but learns that making the right friends is a huge step in the right direction.

Personally, I was just as invested in the Dungeons and Dragons aspect of this book as the main storyline, and I honestly hope more authors write stories like this in the future and hope more publishers pick those stories up.

'Who We Are In Real Life' is a book I would have loved to read as a teenager and as an avid fan and player of DnD it was nice to have a book that can represent it in such a positive way. I wasn't sure I would like Darcy in the beginning, I understand what she's going through but at the same time, I felt she could not have been such a little snot about everything. Thankfully she eases up on the attitude and you eventually get to see how Darcy is. Art is such a sweetie pie and I enjoyed reading how him and Darcy Interact. I loved the chapters that were held within the DnD campaign the characters were playing and the way it parallels with what they are going through in real life. I will say that all the characters seem pretty in line with what a typical teenager should act, and while I think any teen would enjoy that a person, like me in their late thirties would find it a little too much. I do love the LGBT+ Representation and the themes Koops explored with her book. Had I been in the recommended age range for this book it would have gotten a higher rating.

Overall, a interesting YA book for those in the age range.

I found myself being super hopeful and excited for this book - D&D is a creative outlet that I adore and I love reading about them in contemporary romances, especially YA and queer literature; however, the characters made it extremely difficult for me to not only enjoy the plot but the course of the relationship set throughout.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book was fun at moments and kind of frustrating at times.

The things I liked:
There's a realistic portrayal of a kid debating how to stand up to his father on what he believes. Readers see how hard that is and the dual point of view really worked here.
There's a realistic portrayal of a kid feeling unwelcome by her new town and schools and how helpless and angry that makes her feel.

Things I didn't like:
Both characters love Dungeons and Dragons, but we only see one get to play and talk about it. I do hate the competition of who knows.more. it's realistic. I see kids do it all the time. But I just really dislike that kind of perspective of nerd spaces. This is not a moral judgment. I'm just complaining.

Overall, I think this is a well written book that tackles both teens perspectives really well as they navigate challenging situations while just trying to figure out who they are as people. (Did I personally like it? Not really. But I would recommend this to someone looking for a book with characters who play Dungeons and Dragons.)

3 out of 5 stars

I really, really wanted to like this one because of its themes and because it's about D&D, but I just couldn't get into it. A rare DNF for me.

I love D&D and usually anything adjacent to that I fall in love with as well. I think I truly enjoyed this book more because I'm obsessed with D&D but it still ended up falling fate for me. I think the character may have been the problem, I understand this is YA but their attitudes and actions pulled me away a bit. But I loved some of the side characters more. I enjoyed the cuts into their D&D game to me it added into the story, I thought it was an interesting view into their game, personalities. But some parts were cringy and to me not something I'd hear ttrpg-ers say but they are teens so maybe it is....

Thank you to NetGalley and Groundwood Books for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Who we are in real life was an interesting read, as a adult who was formerly a teen that learned how to cope with serious difficulties in my life partially through DnD and other role playing games I found this a pretty relatable read.

This book was fun and in my opinion did well incorporating DnD into a story without overdoing it. The characters were fun if a little bit flat but overall seemed to fit for their age. I don't have anything amazing to say about this book but also nothing negative to say. It was a fun book and if the story sounds interesting to you I suggest giving it a shot.

Unfortunately I had to DNF fairly early on cause it wasn't quite for me. There was far more D&D than I imagined - half the text was the D&D story and half the text was talking about D&D and as someone who doesn't play D&D and has never played D&D, the book offered no context for non-players. What I did read of the prose was alright but I didn't quite enjoy the MC's attitude so I decided on stopping as it just wasn't for me. (+) sapphic rep, queer disabled author

Thank you to Netgalley, House of Anansi Books Press, and Groundwood Books for giving me this arc in exchange for an honest review!

I was really interested in, "Who We Are in Real Life" by Victoria Koops because of the teen romance centered around loving DND, which I haven't read before. The DND aspects of the book are the most entertaining and atmospheric parts of the book, but they can sometimes feel shoehorned in since they are utilized to further explain the characters actions and feelings. Unfortunately the main characters, Darcy and Art, were not very likable. Darcy is rude to everyone around her including her moms because she was forced to move away from her city (which felt like an extreme reaction). Art is a doormat who rarely stands up for himself, Darcy, or his sister when it came to defending them against homophobia directed to them by his father. The romance between these two characters ended up feeling forced because of how much their morals clashed and the overall lack of chemistry. Based on the actions of the characters I felt like they should not have stayed together. DND was truly the only thing these characters had in common. The plot didn't kick off until half-way through the book and the ending was underwhelming since the main conflict was not high stakes to begin with. I give this book a 2 stars because the fantasy elements were enjoyable.

I'm a big d&d lover so I picked this book expecting a cute, queer romance with a lot of d&d. Overall I think this one ended up falling a little flat for me but that doesn't mean it was a bad book. There were several things that I did like though. I loved the d&d campaign. It was so easy to immerse myself in it. I would have liked to learn more about the other characters in the d&d campaign but I still really enjoyed it. Unfortunately the rest of the book just wasn't for me.

Thank you to the publishers and netgalley for this arc in exchange for an honest review

This book immediately intrigued me - as a D&D player, I really liked the look of both of the characters (both in game and not!). I’m not as much into YA anymore, but I wanted to give it a shot, since there should definitely be more nerdy romances in the world!

This book follows Darcy, who has just moved to a small town so her mom can finally head her own clinic. She’s not happy about it - she leaves behind a group of friends and a D&D game she’s put a lot of effort into, a boyfriend who she thinks she loves, and a community that supports the fact that she has two moms and she herself is bisexual. It feels like a downgrade, to be honest.

Art is a nerdy kid who lives for Game - his mother died years ago and his deeply conservative father threw himself into work, so he’s basically raising himself and his sister. Game is the place where he can have adventures unlike any that are available in the real world. When he meets Darcy, though, everything changes … he wants to live in real life.

This book deals with a lot of heavy subjects, fairly well - homophobia, hate crimes, partner abuse, parental neglect, religious trauma - and it was a great story, switching between Darcy & Art’s stories both in real life and in game. I did feel like the last quarter of the book went by too quickly and things were wrapped up a little too neatly, which was disappointing, but overall I’m glad I read it!

This one is top of mind because I just finished reading it as I type this, and what an intense but ultimately joyful ride! I can only imagine what diehard D&D friends will love about this book, but as a casual observer and sideline enthusiast, I so enjoyed getting to step into that world. The gaming descriptions are immersive and the characters feel real and—at times—achingly relatable as they try to reconcile their D&D selves with their “in real life” selves. This book deals with identity, family trauma, and difficult and abusive relationships, but it ultimately bends towards hope and finding courage in all parts of yourself to do what’s right. This is Koops’s first book, and I can’t wait to see where her marvelous brain takes us next!