Moderately Enjoyable. The DnD campaign chapters were a highlight, offering an engaging narrative. However, the book struggles with unsubtle parallels to real life. The writing feels somewhat dated, with cringe-worthy moments such as the use of "precious cinnamon roll." Additionally, the frequent abrupt endings to scenes and off-screen resolutions create a disjointed reading experience, especially with the QSA plot. Darcy's initial characterization as a brat and standoffish personality takes time to warm up to, but her eventual transformation is a redeeming aspect. Despite these shortcomings, the book manages to be somewhat enjoyable, striking a balance between its issues and engaging elements.

I had high hopes for this book, but it really fell short for me. I mean, it was a bit like Mythic Quest meets YA but with worse execution. The pacing was very inconsistent with some parts dragged out and others feeling incredibly rushed. The chapters that were from their DND characters’ POV felt dropped in randomly without any thought put in. Honestly, the way that was executed took away from the story instead of adding anything for me and felt like it bogged things down.

Also, the events and obstacles were all very repetitive in a frustrating, boring, and predictable way. And most characters fell short for me too. Both main characters annoyed me and I actively disliked Art by the end. Honestly, I wish that Dawn was the main character. I liked her much more than the main characters and would have preferred a story from her POV.

Excited about the intersection of queerness and D&D, I found this book fell short overall, giving it a 2.5/5 instead of a 1/5 due to redeeming qualities. Koops excelled in portraying the D&D campaign, creating an engaging fantasy world. However, the introduction of the "shitty teen" trope with Darcy, her unlikable behavior, and the unbalanced relationship with Art detracted from the story. The attempt to address minority issues within the queer community felt forced, and conflicts, particularly with Art's father Marcus, lacked impactful resolution. The climax unfairly portrayed Art as the bad guy, leaving the overall narrative unsatisfying. I wished the book had focused more on D&D or approached LGBTQ+ themes more thoughtfully for a more cohesive and impactful storytelling experience.

I really enjoyed reading this, I needed more wholesomeness in my reading after a couple of whammy's. I really enjoyed how the characters grew throughout the story, given that Darcy was a complete write off for me at the beginning. But that's what a good story is all about, letting the characters grow into someone your readers love :)

This was highly unexpected and wonderful. It was heartwarming, real, and just so relevant to what it's like to be in the position of these main characters. Darcy has moved to a very small town with her two moms for one of their jobs, and the difference between here and the city is stark. Art is a geeky kid, totally into Dungeons & Dragons and content with his friend group. Until he meets Darcy...

There are a lot of hard topics discussed in this book, but I feel like the author did an excellent job of addressing them in a real world situation. Abusive relationships, sexuality, safety in school, attacks and damage to property because of sexual inclination, and standing up for what's right, despite the possible and very personal barriers.

I loved this. It was sweet and romantic, creative, and really hit some bigotry head on. The dangers of not supporting students with something like a SQA or SGA, and the importance of educating allies and helping people learn about how they can become an ally.

If you're in need of resources, The Trevor project website is a great place to start.

An absolutely wonderful and clever read!

As a DnD fan myself who has played a couple of campaigns and also found myself obsessed with Baldur's Gate 3 I knew I absolutely had to read this. I think the author did a fantastic job of blending the fantasy of the game and real life together and the characters were really interesting and enjoyable. This book was easy to fall in to and get lost in and was thoroughly enjoyable!

ARC provided by Netgalley and House of Anansi Press Inc., Groundwood Books, thank you!!
Rating 4.5
I am not a big YA reader, as someone still actively trying to suppress my own high school experience more than a decade later, but as a fellow Saskatchewanian I couldn't resist giving this a shot, and I'm thrilled I did!
I'm a big ol nerd currently obsessed with Baldur's Gate 3 and this was a nice way to get more RPG in my life. I will also say that the fantasy breaking up the high school IRL life was great and made the high school stuff more effective to me. It's an important story about LGBTQIA+ acceptance that could have easily been bogged down with the minutiae of high school drama but it was more adult and with the parallels between the IRL story and the RPG story it provided a nice balance. I also liked the ending with the "Don't ask, don't tell" line because people are complex and it wouldn't have made sense for complete change of heart, even if we wish that were the case more often.

In Who We Are in Real Life by Victoria Koops we follow Darcy and Art who are nerds at heart and love to play dungeons & dragons. Darcy moves to a small town with her two moms where her mom will become the main physician. However everyone in this small town are very religious and don’t approve of the new family. So we see Darcy struggling to fit in, to find friends, and having to find the strength to stand up for what she believes in. Then we meet art who is the town local who’s knows everyone. His father is a priest so he comes from a very religious household and we see how he has a rough relationship with his dad and always having to be the one there for his sister. Darcy and art me and bond over their nerdy interests. We follow both of them having to over come a lot of personal obstacles to fight for and get what they want! I absolutely love this book! It tugged at my heart strings and made me relate to all the characters in so many different ways. This had great representation for everyone trying to figure out who they are!!

A big thanks to NetGalley and Groundwood Books for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I got Fangirls vibes, but it just wasn't all there.

Who We Are in Real Life by Victoria Koops is a YA contemporary novel about Darcy who has just moved to the small prairie town of Unity Creek with her two moms. It feels like she left everything good behind in the city. She misses her tabletop gaming friends and her boyfriend ― and is horrified by the homophobia her family faces in their new home. Then she meets kind, quiet Art, who invites her to join his Dungeons & Dragons game. Art is mostly happy fading into the background at school and only really coming alive during his friends’ weekly D&D game ― until meeting Darcy pulls his life off-course in wonderful and alarming ways. Suddenly he has something worth fighting for. But what if that something puts him in conflict with his father, an influential and conservative figure in their town? Can Art stand up against his father’s efforts to prevent Darcy and her friends from starting a queer-straight alliance at school? Meanwhile, in game, Darcy’s and Art’s D&D characters join forces to fight corruption as they grow closer in the homebrew world of Durgeon’s Keep ― as fantasy and reality collide.

This was a decent read. I think I'm getting exhausted reading so many contemporaries based on the nerd side of life. Like hello, I don't need DND to be romanticized. I just want to pummel goblins and be chaos in peace. But overall this was still a good book, but I just need some time away from contemporary reads.

After moving to a small town with her moms, Darcy feels like she’s left everything behind: her friends, D&D friends, and her (albeit, abusive) boyfriend. She meets Art, a quiet kid who invites her to join his weekly D&D game. Quickly, the two find a lot in common and begin to have feelings for each other, forcing Darcy to confront her current boyfriend’s emotional and physical abuse. When Darcy, Art, and their friends attempt to start a QSA at their high school, they face the small town’s quiet homophobia, and Art’s uber-conservative father.

Who We Are In Real Life was a pretty quick read for me, but wasn’t very memorable. It dealt with some heavier topics (homophobia and abuse) so it wasn’t a particularly fun read either. I will say that I did enjoy how the book gave a novelized version of the in-story D&D game. Everything the PCs were going through “in game” reflected the overall themes of the book. The struggles the PCs faced the characters faced in a similar-but-different capacity, and that’s honestly what kept me engaged in the “IRL” chapters of the book.

One gripe I do have is that the story felt somewhat inconclusive. Some storylines with side characters (Like James, Darcy’s ex) felt inconclusive. Even the chemistry between Art/Darcy left me not feeling much of anything. I honestly can’t remember a single conversation between Art/Darcy that was any kind of deep or meaningful. I just remember them arguing about things (what? I can’t remember), and I honestly don’t remember where they left off (emotionally) at the end of the story.

A wonderful debut, this was such a fun read!
I started it during a flight and could not put it down.

Loved Art and his relationship with Darcy.

I believe some things could have been executed better: it wasn’t completely detrimental, just removed one star for it..

A YA, D&D romance sounded like a good break after reading about some very heavy topics recently. That's not to say that this didn't tackle some difficult topics, not with incredible depth, but decently. Homophobia and an abusive relationship were handled pretty realistically but not always with full closure, which didn't bother me too much. Life isn't often tied up nicely with a bow.

The chapters in the perspective of the D&D characters were interesting and reflected Darcy and Art's real lives. Because the perspectives switched often, I sometimes forgot what had happened when the real life chapters pick back up.

Their relationship was cute even through their struggles. I enjoyed their geeky connection! They are teenagers so certain reactions and arguments were a bit juvenile and could get frustrating.

Some people may find the use of RPG vernacular a bit cringey because that was the way the main characters, especially Darcy, think and talk. And I would have loved to know more about some of the side characters.

This had its strengths and weaknesses. Overall, it was a fun read that appealed to my D&D nerd side.

4.0 stars

TW: Emotional abuse, homophobia

Wow, okay there was so much to unpack here.

I’d like to thank NetGalley and House of Anansi Press Inc. for giving me the opportunity to read this novel!

“Such an awkward cinnamon roll.”

Again, wow. That novel blew me away! I had so much fun reading this novel as a Dungeons and Dragons newbie myself. There were so many impactful scenes, but with the typical teenager angst, you’d get annoyed with the characters possibly, but I guess I was annoyed in a good way. I feel it properly displayed things a teenager might think, so good job, Victoria Koops. You did well.

“I mutter an Elvish curse under my breath.”

I actually laughed out loud at some of the scenes and the cute little does he/she like me thoughts were adorable. Haaa, to be young again… I say as a younger adult myself haha

“I giggle. The halt, horrified. I don’t giggle.”

I don’t normally talk about the quotes, but the quotes here aren’t necessarily “deep” and “thought-provoking”. Let me say that that’s more than alright with me. With the quote above I wrote in my annotation journal: “You do now bbygirl.” It really felt like I was in a teenager’s head.

“If life were an RPG, with experience points and levels, I just failed my personal quest.”

Okay now. Let’s talk a little about the Dungeons and Dragons aspect of it. The campaign? Very well written as it actually gave me scenes I could picture in my head. The provision of character stats that both Darcy and Art would give to other people was really cool! I feel though that maybe (I could be wrong) it would translate better to more advanced Dungeons and Dragons players as they would be able to perceive the characters better than a newer player (like me) would. I do think that if you are going into this blind without ANY DnD experience, you will be confused out of your minds.

“Sorry, but they’re just books, kid. A little bump won’t hurt them.” -> (THE AUDACITY)

All jokes aside, there were times I didn’t like the Darcy because of some the decisions she made -though let me say I love that she spoke up to the guys who were walking and talking in the hallway about her. I can’t be too harsh of her immaturity though because this is a teenage girl we are talking about here. The way she handled James wasn’t the greatest, but what could she do? She barely has any experience, and she’s being emotionally abused by James. I’m the beginning, I felt for James because I could see from his perspective, and he did nothing wrong………until he did what he did and said what he said. Never tell someone you will harm yourself if they leave you.

“They made a curious pair, but for some reason, he couldn’t imagine one without the other.”

I loved the diversity in this novel. One of the protagonists has 2 moms, is “bigger” than your typical “slender but not TOO slender” MC, is a person of colour, and is bisexual. The LBGTQ2S+ community plays a big role in this book. I love that Darcy finds home within the school’s small LGBTQ2S+ community, and chose to make the journey of making it so the school has a QSA. I also love that Art is then told about his privilege as a white cisgendered heterosexual and that speaking up to his homophobic dad does a lot more than he thought it did.

“I like the way you talk nerdy to me.”

As a fun book, there are obviously going to be cringeworthy quotes and I had to throw this little tidbit there. This book was a great read, and I hope to see more from this world. ALSO I think this takes place in Ontario, Canada? I was very confused to be seeing the names of cities I know and it made me question. I hope others had a good time reading this book as I had, and yea! It was a cute, but impactful novel with the amazingly cool addition of DnD in there.

A sweet yet nuanced young adult novel that introduces readers to some of the more complex identities that make up the world. This story speaks directly to the fact that while we have come a long way, we have a lot further still to go. I would say the weak point of the novel is the interstitial into “game world.” It took a little too long to figure out that the plot was mirroring Art’s internal family struggle, that he was using the sessions of DnD not only to escape his family trauma but also to work through it. The conflict with Darcy was also a little too quickly resolved. It felt uncomfortably like Art was villainized for feeling (rightfully) betrayed because he was lied to. Still, the good outweighs the bad here. Readers particularly of YA and fantasy will find a lot to love.

This feels like a book I would have absolutely adored when I was a teenager and I would have really loved to have the representation that this book brings. I think there were a lot of really important topics in this book and I would highly recommend it to teens and people in the YA age range, but as an adult in my 30's, some of it just made me tired.

Darcy is moved to a small rural town when one of her mom's is hired as the local doctor. However, this is rural Canadian prairies and if you have any experience there, it's usually very conservative. I grew up in southern Alberta so I can tell you what happens to the queer people in this story is very realistic. Although it was just as likely bricks would be thrown through windows for liking a rival hockey team as being queer. Fun times (not).

Back to the review! Darcy quickly makes a friend, Art, in English class where they are partners in a project about storytelling. Both love D&D and any tabletop roleplaying, so they become fast friends and build their project around that mutual interest. There is teen romance, teen angst and drama. There is an abusive and emotional manipulative relationship and there is homophobia experienced by characters. All of this challenged and a lot of the book is about fighting those issues and finding family and friends who will stand with Darcy. The book is a huge advocate of Queer Straight Alliances in schools and I think it shows the real things that teens come up against when trying to be who they are, safely.

All of this is happening while our characters also take part in a Thursday night (it's Thursday night, IYKYK) and the story switches from IRL (in real life) to story write ups from game night. These fantasy bits were good, but the back and forth meant that I didn't ever feel invested in either the real life side, or the game side. Neither had quite enough time and exploration for me to be super connected. There's a lot of pop culture references, especially around D&D so if you're not in that world, you might not understand.

While I think that this is completely in line with real teenage behaviour, I just felt too old to connect with the main characters. But I am so happy to see books like this becoming more and more common because my teens years seriously lacked good representation of what it was actually like to be a teenager and be part of the LGBT community.

Such a cute cozy romance, this was a great coming of age queer story with D&D elements! The art? TO DO FOR. The cute fact this is an ongoing D&D campaign? OBSESSED. It was very sad to see the effect of homophobic parents had on them,

Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

This book was adorable! I loved it so much. Every time the two main characters would be cute and adorable with each other, I would giggle. They were so cute together. The story itself was fantastic. I liked how Darcy never gave up for what she knew was right and that she and the rest of the queer kids in that school were able to find love and acceptance with each other.

Art was so sweet and I am glad he was willing to stand up for Darcy and the other queer people in the town even though he was scared at first. His and Darcy's love for role playing games like dungeons and dungeons was so much fun! I liked that we got to read their characters campaign adventures throughout the book.

The best parts of this book though was all of the queer rep, found family trope, and the importance conversation about standing up to homophobia and how straight people can properly be allies to the queer community.

Who We Are in Real Life is a cute coming of age story that deals with some tough themes. The book has some good queer and size representation, and lots of geeky themes like DnD and gaming. The story moves between "real life" and "the game," and switches between Darcy and Art's POV.

Overall, this was a good story, but fell a bit flat to me. The book felt like it skewed on the younger side of YA, and yet dealt with some pretty difficult themes like abuse and homophobia. The romance between Darcy and Art was sweet,but overshadowed by Darcy's relationship with James. I wish that element had been handled differently, allowing for a stronger relationship with Art. The geeky themes in this book were fun to read, and for fans of DnD and other tabletop games, this will really resonate. For me, the switching between Darcy and Art and their characters Poppy and Roman was a little confusing, but it did make for an interesting story. The themes of homophobia and abuse are important elements in the story, and I hope that younger readers can see the harm caused by certain characters like James, and be able to recognize it and reflect on it in their own lives, so this book serves that purpose as well. I think that for a younger YA audience, this book would be perfect.

Thank you to NetGAlley and House of Anansi Press Inc., Groundwood Books for an electronic advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

I was really excited about this book when I first read the synopsis. I love me a good ol' Dungeons and Dragons story: stories inspired by D&D campaigns, stories that have D&D as a plot element, literally give me anything D&D. Unfortunately, I feel that this book missed the mark for me.

The segments of the book that were dedicated the the novelization of their ongoing D&D campaign, as written by Art, were beautifully written and engaging. I love seeing campaigns come to life like this, and as an avid roleplayer myself, I love when I can get immersed in a story as my character(s).

However, something I did not enjoy was the overuse of D&D lingo in Darcy and Art's common vernacular. I love playing D&D and have friends who are more obsessed with the game than I am, but we never randomly just say, "Oh, looks like I crit failed my Intelligence check" when we say something dumb, or "We're going on a sidequest" when we're running errands. It was extremely cringy and not at all how D&D players talk IRL. It happened literally on every page, and it just took me out of the story in a bad way.

I did like the cute romance between Art and Darcy, and I enjoyed the D&D of it all, but ultimately I feel that this debut was not as strong as it could have been.

I will start this with a caveat about this book. If you are not into role playing games, such as Dungeons and Dragons, half of this book will seem odd to you. That’s because half of the book is “in game”. If you try to skip that part of the story, you can still sort of figure out what is going on, but it makes it harder, because, of course, fantasy and reality are reflections.


Darcy has two mothers and loves D&D. She has had to move from the unnamed city somewhere in the “prairies” of Canada (which is similar to fly-over-states in the US.), to a small town, about an hour or so away by car. She had left the city, which apparently everyone was not homophobic, or at least not to her face, to a small town where people are, including Art, the boy who tries to become her friend.
Darcy is all teenager mode. Full of anger, and lashing out. Just because Art doens’t know the right questions to ask or how to deal with homophobia, she says he isn’t an ally.
But when the both figure out they like D&D, and Art invites her to his game night, things move forward, and the romance part of the story happens. Only problem, Darcy was dating a “bad boy” trademark, and he thinks she is still dating him.
All in all, the D&D parts of the story are interesting, and reflect the bad guy of the story, which so happens to be Art’s father in both cases. But, on the other hand, even in a small town, there were other queer folk for Darcy to get to know.
I had trouble getting into the D&D parts of the book at first, but once I realized that they were important, I started enjoying them along with the rest of the book.


This book is coming out the 6th of February 2024. Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.