Maybe because I just finished Romy and Michelle's high school reunion as a rewatch, this one seemed just like it. I also couldn't connect that it was just her 5 year reunion. Girl you got time!

I wanted this to be funny but to me it just wasnt. Maybe I'm too different from the character, maybe it just wasn't written for me, maybe I wasn't in the right space for it. I don't know but for me it was just meh.

Ella Dawson's But How Are You, Really is a spicy exploration of millennial life that hits all the right notes. Charlotte Thorne returns to her college reunion feeling like a hot mess—stuck in a dead-end job and dodging old friends, including the ex she ghosted, Reece. Yikes!

Dawson nails the blend of humor and heart as Charlotte navigates her toxic boss, past demons, and the pressure to prove she’s not a total failure. The millennial references are on point, making it relatable for anyone feeling the weight of unfulfilled dreams.

This book is equal parts sexy second-chance romance and a powerful reckoning with life’s messiness. If you’re queer and questioning everything, grab this one. It’s a witty reminder that it’s okay to be stuck—and that sometimes, facing the past can lead to a brighter future. Don’t sleep on this one!

Thus book was so annoying with irritating characters and writing. I couldn't finish it and ended up dnf-ing the whole thing which I really try hard not to do.

Funny how they mention all the cringe of the reunion in the review, because that's how I felt when reading how the FMC was going through it.

I really didn't expect to love this book so much. Charlotte Thorne is coming back to her alma mater for her five year reunion, where she will see her best friends and chosen family, but also her exes. The whole book happens in a long weekend and I loved the writing, it was fast-paced but described enough context to not create confusion about what's going on. There is a love story but also great descriptions of friendship that were very heartwarming. A couple of spicy scenes that I wasn't mad about, too. But mostly, this book talks about a kind of abuse that not a lot of books describe: emotional abuse. It narrates how Charlotte was mistreated by her mother after her parents got divorced, how she unconsciously repeated a pattern with Ben, an ex that really broke her and caused panic even years after, and how she didn't know how to act when she actually meets a nice boy who cares about her. We see her work at a job with an equally abusive boss who disrespects her but has issues quitting because putting up with these kind of people is what she grew up with. It's very sad but a real issue that a lot of people experience and sometimes don't acknowledge. It really blew my mind, it was very well represented. The ending was amazing. I'm excited to read more about this author.

When reading reviews of this novel, I was unsurprised to find reviews from women in their mid-20’s who were like, THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN FOR ME. The story follows Charlotte, who’s returned to her alma mater for her 5th college reunion and is struggling with every facet of her life. Throughout the weekend, she examines her job, her friendships, and reconnects with someone from her past (I didn’t expect the romantic plot line but enjoyed it!). This was a bit long but beautifully-written; I’ll def read whatever she writes next!

Wow! "But How Are You, Really" by Ella Dawson, which began as a light, sexy and fun novel, carried much weight as it progressed, in depicting the effects of abusive relationships on self-esteem. Powerful messages, steamy parts, and loveable characters. Thank you to the author, NetGalley and the publisher for the review copy. All opinions are my own.

But How Are You, Really is a heartfelt exploration of identity, relationships, and self-acceptance, with beautifully authentic LGBTQIA+ representation at its core. Ella Dawson captures the complexities of being queer with nuance and care, weaving experiences of love, loss, and personal growth into a narrative that feels both deeply personal and universally relatable. This book is a gentle reminder that healing isn’t linear and that finding yourself is a journey worth embracing, no matter how messy it gets. It’s a must-read for anyone seeking a story that truly reflects the multifaceted nature of queer identity

📚 BOOK REVIEW 📚

But How Are You, Really By Ella Dawson
Publication Date: June 4, 2024
Publisher: Penguin Group Dutton | Dutton

📚MY RATING: ⭐⭐⭐⭐✨
(Rounded Up To 5⭐)

📚MY REVIEW:

But How Are You, Really was a heart-warming story about the ups-and-downs of post-college life, the mistakes we make along the way, and the realization that the love and support of our chosen family can help us become the person we've always known we wanted to be.

This book centers around a lovably quirky, bisexual female main character, Charlotte, who returns to her alma mater, Hein University, during her graduating class's five-year reunion at spring commencement. It just so happens her miserable narcissist boss is giving the commencement speech at graduation, so Charlotte has to balance the nostalgia of reconnecting with old friends and old flames with the incessant needs of her boss.

At first, I wasn't sure this book was for me, as it seemed it might be better geared toward younger adults still struggling with figuring out how to 'adult' in those first few years after college. But the more I read, the more endearing ALL of the characters in this book became...And I found myself really invested in each of their stories and how things were going to turn out for them at the end of this reunion weekend.

Dawson's writing style was so authentically relatable, she created characters who felt so real you wanted to give them hugs throughout the book. The setting of the characters' story, back together at their college campus for the first time in five years, evoked such strong feelings of nostalgia for my own college days and sparked memories of things I didn't even know I remembered until I read about them in the pages.

But How Are You, Really is a beautiful story about acceptance. About the vulnerability of being our authentic selves, letting down our walls, getting rid of our negative self-talk, and learning that we're all worthy of being loved... Just as we are. It reminds us to connect with one another in a deeper way and ask the title's very question, "But how are you, really?" every chance we get, because we're all fighting our own inside battles nobody else can see.

I have to thank NetGalley, Penguin Group | Dutton and Ella Dawson for providing me an e-copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

#ButHowAreYouReally #EllaDawson #PenguinGroupDutton #NetGalley #NetGalleyReviews #ARC #womensfiction #lgbtqiafiction #romance #bookreviews #bookrecommendations #bookrecs

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read and review an advanced copy of this novel. I highly enjoyed it and will be recommending it to others.

This book was sooooooo gooood!! And it was not at all what I expected. Yes, technically, it is a romance. But it’s also so much more than that!

There are definitely a lot of triggers in this book, so be warned before you get into it.

I got very upset with Charlotte during SEVERAL different parts, LIKE REALLY MAD, but looking back I can see how that is intentional due to its ending. I honestly wish that this book was longer because by the end I was honestly so invested and needed to know more!! Her character growth by the end was perfect and I just wish that I could’ve gotten to see more of that side to her.

But How Are You Really by Ella Dawson centers on Charlotte, who happens to be bi-sexual and is going back to her college reunion. (is it just me or are there a flood of reunion books of late?). I enjoyed this story and it's a quick read and likely will be enjoyed by a lot of people in that age group.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the advacne copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. But How Are You Really is available now.

I love an LGBTQ+ positive book, it's definitely a highlight for me that there was a tight-knit queer community. Definitely an enjoyable read as someone who is nostalgic for their college days but is also unsure of how they would navigate uncomfortable memories that are brought up during a reunion.

As someone who graduated the same year as the protagonist, this book was very nostalgic for me. While the details may have been different from my college experience, the feelings -- of sometimes wanting to go back to when things were in undergrad -- are the same. This book is for any millennials who are still finding their place in the world, and what we can do to learn from the past while still moving forward. It is a wonderful debut novel and I can't wait to see what the author does next.

Honestly, this book wasn't what I expected it to be but was still a fun ride & an overall quick read! I definitely felt the general nostalgia vibes [associated with my own uni years], though I do think the plot (while interesting & engaging) could have been executed a bit better. This book reminded me of Buzzfeed in a way haha, but perhaps that's because, again, it also had me reminiscing on my own past experiences in which Buzzfeed also happened to be more relevant. One thing I didn't like though (and I've said this before in many a review haha) is the excessive use of slang— regardless of whether it comes from a Millennial or Gen-Z lens, I just feel like it instantly dates a book. Otherwise, this was a solid & witty book about finding your place in the world during a time of extreme uncertainty from all fronts.

Thank you Dutton and NetGalley for the eARC of But How Are You, Really. All opinions in this review are my own.

I feel like I have been reading a lot of books centered around a reunion lately. This one reminded me of The Devil Wears Prada but set a college reunion.

But How Are You, Really explores the unease at seeing people you may not have had the best endings with and how going back to a place can take you back in time. While I did enjoy it, I definitely felt the anxiety of the main character through some of her experiences. Overall, this ended up being a sweet story about how you can rely on your friends to help you when you are down.

This review has been posted to Goodreads and Storygraph on September 22th, 2024. Links provided.

Charlotte Thorne is not looking forward to returning to her alma mater, Hein University. Her life after college has not gone as planned and the idea of spending a weekend with her successful former classmates seems unbearable. However, when her demanding boss, a successful tech journalist, is invited to give the commencement speech during her five year reunion weekend, Charlotte is forced to go along. The moment she sets foot on campus, old memories resurface, specifically her relationship with her ex-boyfriend Ben and her unresolved chemistry with Reece Krueger, the hockey player she rebounded with. While dodging her best friend’s questions about her life, ignoring her boss’s incessant messages, and confronting her true feelings about Reece, Charlotte wonders if she can truly resolve her past and create the life she actually wants in just one long weekend.

Sadly, this book did not live up to the excitement I had before reading it. I was really looking forward to this book based off the description (who doesn’t love a book about life post-college not going as planned and yet the opportunity to make things right and have a second change is at your fingertips?), but sadly I really struggled to get into it. I found almost all of the characters to be very annoying, and I could not stand Charlotte’s constant self pity party. I have difficulty reading books with main characters who are so negative and who complain all the time, and unfortunately I felt like that was Charlotte's constant state of being. I loved the idea of the story, but I just could not grow to love the characters or execution of the story. It is still a 2 star read for me because I appreciated how things ended with her boss and her ex-boyfriend, but by then I really just wanted the book to be over unfortunately.

Thank you to Penguin Group Dutton and NetGalley for the opportunity to read to an ARC of But How Are You, Really? in return for my honest review.

The book went by so quickly and loved every minute of it! I loved how honest and raw this book was especially as a young women reading this!

Charlotte Thorne returns to her university five years after graduation for a reunion and to help her nightmare of a boss give the commencement speech for the graduating class. She's depressed and stuck in a life she cannot bear, so a weekend hearing all about everyone's successful lives does not sound like a great time, but her boss has promised her a promotion if he nails the speech and Charlotte sees a glimmer of hope for the future. And once she's back with her friends and ready for a weekend of fun, it might just be the change in perspective her life needs.

I wanted to like this one more because the ending is phenomenally empowering and it has a great message about confidence, found family, and accepting help when you need it. There was just something about Charlotte that never meshed with me. I get her depression and understand the massive toll the emotional abuse by those she loved left on her, but the way she handles and instantly reacts to things annoyed me. That said, reading about a group of friends being so close after graduating and heading their separate ways and the way they celebrate each other's wins gave me all the positive feels. There's a very delicate balance in the plot between super positive interactions and some very negative ones. The scale leans more towards the negative simply because we're in Charlotte's mind and she needs some very intense therapy, but the resolution Dawson came up with really is downright empowering.

Overall, I had to really think about how I felt here. It's a good story that's told from a POV that I couldn't connect with.

Thank you to Netgalley and Dutton for the read!