A very relatable book for millennials. This is a book where you are able to genuinely empathize with the characters as though they are real people- probably because any millennial who has experienced the post-college grind can recognize what they are going through. Very well-written and engaging, with a satisfying conclusion and lots of good representation of the queer community.

i really enjoyed this book. i found the main character to be extremely relatable and i love seeing this kind of representation in books! i will say though, i thought the beginning was kind of slow so it’s definitely not for everyone.

thank you netgalley for the e arc!

I liked this, slowly, as I grew into it. I'm clearly not the target demographic, so it was a little outside of my college experience almost half a century ago. I certainly could identify with the longing to be part of a community, to be cherished, to be understood, and to be loved. The characters were realistic, a little whiny, but I could picture them. I enjoyed my time that I spent with them, something I don't say after a book very often.

For a first novel, I'm pretty impressed.

I received a complimentary copy of the novel from the publisher and NetGalley, and my review is being left freely.

This book resonates with the human with a beautiful soul who has walls built up super high.

Charlotte (Charlie) had a plan for her life, and just like most who leave college filled with excitement and passion for their dreams, it didn’t go as planned. In the five years since leaving her alma mater, she has since not shown as much success as her old friends and colleagues. Everyone around her has their life together and she is just surviving. She rekindles friendships and relationships but also faces some spicy dejavu, or otherwise known as ptsd. She learns about herself in the process along with knowing her self worth.

I wanted to love this book so much. I resonated so much with Charlotte and leaving college with such a positive outlook on the future. But it took until halfway through the book for me to fully be invested. I found the character to be very similar to the character Sadness in the Pixar movie “Inside Out”. Once we got to really understanding her, along with her forever Crush Reece, plus watching the pain her best friends really had watching her go through all of these emotions, I really loved the book. She overcame so many obstacles and chose herself and her life.

I loved each of the characters, their diversity along with the realistic portrayal of their college. I do wish that we could have seen more POV from her college friends; but maybe that’s an excellent storyline for a second or third book.

This book is great for someone who is trying to find their way. It provides hope, and reality.

I have very conflicted feelings about this book. There were times where I was eating it up but then there were other times that I was almost falling asleep. I think a lot of that comes from the chapters being so unbearably long. I truly think that if the chapters were shorter, I would have ate this book up. But because that is not the case, I don't really love it.

This story felt powerful in its ability to make the readers think. It was very powerful in that sense. Also, I loved how delicately and authentically author handled severe topics. I would highly be recommending it.

All I can say is WOW! My only complaint is that the book wasn't longer, I need more!!! I cannot wait to share this book with my patrons.

This was a great book! I really enjoyed it and highly recommend it! This story had wonderful characters and character development. I loved the interaction between them too! What a wonderful story!

Charlotte Thorne is attending her five-year college reunion with an overwhelming feeling of dread. She’ll reunite with exes, college friends she’s not been great at keeping in touch with, have to deal with her PITA boss, and be forced to confront, and reckon with, her traumatic life experiences.

What I wish I knew before reading: 1)This is heavy, reminiscent of Sally Rooney novels, and with that you get an empathetic cast of characters who are dealing with complex life issues. You also encounter despicable, smarmy people 2)Reece is a guy and an absolute sweetheart. He’ll make up for the smarm.

While not a fast read for me, But How Are You, Really is a solid representation of how hard those first few years after college can be. I adored Charlotte’s friend group and the Acronym community and would’ve loved more time with them, along with Reece.

Thank you to NetGalley, Dutton, and Ella for the opportunity to read this in advance of its ~June 2024 release.

Second chance romance, college reunion, not being where you wanted to be in your late 20s.
I liked a lot about this book, the plot, the characters, the politics, but there were times I was so thrown out of the story by phrases that I felt were cringey or didn’t fit within the tone. “Strong nostalgia vibes” about a vending machine, took me a while to pick the book back up after that.
After getting over the initial first third of the book or so I started to enjoy it a lot more! I do think I would read another book by this author, but go into it expecting some of the parts of contemporary romance that don’t tend to work for me.

*i received this book as an ARC in exchange for an honest review*

3 .5 ⭐️!! i really did enjoy this book! it was a quick, fun read. and this is my first book of this genre actually!

i didn’t expect this book to be so heavy. i enjoyed watching charlotte’s character development, it was phenomenal! i genuinely felt proud of her by the end of the book. i really do wish this book was written in multiple pov’s though. i think that could have potentially changed my rating, as having multiple point of views would have given more context to the story. the found family in this book was again- an amazing aspect added. you’d want all these people in your corner.

overall, a decent read!

A lovely tribute to found family and second chances.

Charlotte isn’t where she thought she would be five years after graduating from university. Sure she keeps telling her friends she is fine but the more she thinks about it, the more she realizes some changes might be in order. What better place to re-examine your choices than a five-year reunion?!

I really enjoyed this - Charlotte is easy to root for and her conversations and connection with Reece were so compelling.

Thank you very much to Penguin Dutton and NetGalley for the opportunity to read a copy.

This book was about a girl, Charlotte, who attends her college reunion (to work) and how she finds a way to grow when faced with the past. I loved the LGBTQ+ representation in this novel and how the 3D's (Dead, Divorced, and otherwise Disappointing parents) find a family within their friend group. The romance wasn't too heavy or all-consuming but seemed well written. Ella Dawson did a great job of incorporating a lot of different themes into the story without making it seem too contrived. I thought referencing the emotional color wheel was a great recurring pattern that helped the reader understand Charlotte's internal conflicts and struggle with verbalizing her emotions. The story was a bit slow for me at the beginning, but the depth of characterization was amazing and made this a highly enjoyable read.

Thank you to NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for access to this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

Easy book to get into. Fun characters. A college reunion. Drama! I loved this new title from Dawson. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

Thank you to Dutton and NetGalley for the honor of reading this book in exchange for an honest review.

Charlotte hates her job. Instead of being a graphic designer, she's an assistant to a demanding tech journalist you keeps dangling a transfer to the art department over her head. When he is chosen to be the commencement speaker at her alma mater, Charlotte gets roped into going ahead of him and attending her five year reunion. Charlotte made a great group of fellow queer and absent parent having friends in her time at college. She has been terrible at keeping in touch with them because of her demanding and disappointing job. One in particular is Reece, the guy she had a fling with after leaving her abusive ex. Charlotte is forced to re-examine her life and her choices when she's her friends again and decide where she wants to go from here.

This book was such a breath of fresh air. It watered my crops and cleared my acne. It gave me hope when I had none. I'm being a bit dramatic but that is how much I loved this book. I adored seeing a book with so many queer characters. I saw myself in the characters of this book in a way I never have in a book before. Although I thankfully did not have homophobic parents like Charlotte does, I really felt like I understood her.

This book felt very millennial, which I appreciated. The characters' references were my references and the burnout that they experienced is all too common in my generation. I could feel the disappointment in not achieving your dreams yet when everyone around you seems to be doing well. I felt like this book was very much written for me. It takes place in 2018, which takes a second to adjust to, but makes sense for where the characters are in their lives based on their references.

This book handled a lot of difficult topics. These included homophobia, grief, alcoholism, abusive relationships, anxiety/panic disorder, sexual harassment. These were handled so impressively. I felt the character’s panic without ever feeling unsafe. I applaud the author for not shying away from these topics while also giving the book lighter moments. It was an emotional book but I would not call it particularly dark.

I appreciated that the characters communicated with each other, at least eventually. When a character's feelings were hurt, they communicated that so that the other could apologize. Characters were clear in their intentions and interacted like actual people. This does not always happen in books.

I also enjoyed the character of Reece, who felt like a normal, decent guy. There could have been some melodramatic moments in the story if he reacted the wrong way, but he listened and was a rational person.

I don't want to say too much about this book, because I think that it should be read. Overall I’m just so glad that this book exists.

this one is a solid 3.5 star read for me

i got this arc from netgalley and i was very excited to give this a try. as a debut novel i think it has a lot of potential.

the characters and the plot, from dealing with the effects of coming out and handling people’s response to that, to finding yourself and love again after an abusive relationship, it was a good one to get into and it was such a lovely time.

my only issues come from the book being third pov. and while i know that’s a me issue and not a book issue, i do feel like with third pov it’s easy to get overwhelmed with too many details of backgrounds and characters and situations that aren’t exactly necessary.

i think ella dawson has a solid path set for her and i can’t wait to see what else she writes in the future!

thank you to netgalley for this arc! :)

Where was this book like 5 years ago???! Okay, so maybe in the author’s head at that time, but I’m so glad it’s out now! Charlotte was my absolute favorite character I’ve read in a very long time! I absolutely devoured this book and the wit, the cute romance, the growing up, just everything was perfect! I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this book, but I found such a loving, queer, beautiful book with found family and a second chance! So good!

I related to Charlotte so much it hurt!!
I loved this book so much that it’s hard to put into words what I loved about it.

To start the queer representation is fantastic. Being a bi women myself I never thought I would find a book that I related with so much.
An easy 5⭐️s.

Though a bit slow to start, I ended up really enjoying this! I’ve followed Ella around the interwebs for a while now and was so excited to hear she was publishing a novel. Her voice really comes through in this as I know she’s pulled a lot of her own real life experiences for Charlotte. Charlotte’s emotional growth throughout the book is wonderful to see and I loved the cast of characters in this book. Excited to see what she comes up with next!

But How Are You, Really by Ella Dawson 💘

A strong debut from Ella!! I will start off with the disclaimer that I don’t think I was the target audience for this book. I think someone about 5 years older than me would appreciate the humor and cultural references way more. This is a fun little romance book about a college reunion, found family, and general millennial corporate/career dread.

what I liked:
-how this book portrayed the beauty of found family
-very easy breezy read, pretty much finished in one sitting
-lovable characters
-LGBTQIA rep

what I didn’t love:
-it felt a little too millennial-core, for my personal taste (this is not necessarily a bad thing it’s just hard for me to relate to)
-the topics of addiction, strained family relationships, mental health, and toxic relationships could have been incorporated into the story more seamlessly whereas they felt almost a little forced the way they were introduced in the story. I did think they contributed to the story and are important conversations to have but I would have liked more depth.
-some aspects to the plot and the central romance of the story seemed a bit far-fetched (but not out of realm for the romance genre and it’s all in good fun)

All in all I think this book just had a little too much filler for me and because I wasn’t the intended audience, it wasn’t the perfect fit. I would love to try another Ella Dawson book in the future because I do think she writes really beautiful, vulnerable characters and while this might have been a middle-of-the-road book for me personally, I could definitely see this being a hit for the right audience 💓

Thank you to @netgalley and @duttonbooks for the ARC of this book that is set to release on June 4th, 2024!!