Thank you to Net Galley & Dutton Books for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
2.5/5 Stars

This book was exactly what I needed as a 20 something approaching my quarter-life crisis. I felt like Ella Dawson was inside my head and writing about the things that I struggle with on the daily. I really don't think this should be categorized as romance though, it is way more women's fiction than anything. It was a great read but some part felt a little rushed to me. Overall I enjoyed the book and am looking forward to more releases by Ella Dawson.

*2.5

Thank you to Netgalley, Dutton and Penguin Random House for sending me a free in exchange for an honest review!

But How Are You, Really stars our FMC Charlotte who is invited to her college reunion five years after graduating from there. Throughout the book Charlotte goes through a self-discovery journey in which she tries to find her voice under all her overwhelming feelings including her burnout.

This was a pretty decent book, I wasn't able to enjoy the scene of the book given that most of it seemed filler but it wasn't a bad book in general, I also believe that one of the reasons I wasn't able to click with this book was because of the genre it was categorized in.

When I saw this on Netgalley I saw it was being promoted as a romance but I wouldn't really categorize it as such given that the romance is not the MAIN theme of the book.

I also saw someone promote this book as a hockey romance but that's not the case either given that the love interest doesn't play hockey in the current timeline that the novel takes place in. If you would give this book a romance trope it would be more of the "second chance" trope.

Another thing that caught my eye on goodreads rather than any other platform was that the book was tagged as "Lesbian" the FMC is NOT a Lesbian she is a Bisexual so I'm not sure why it's tagged as Lesbian...

Honestly, I don't think the book is being promoted in the right way... It's not a romance given that the romance is NOT the main plot of this book, it's being promoted as a hockey romance by some reviewers which isn't the case as well, and then we have the fact that it's being tagged as lesbian when that is not the case either.

This book is the self-journey of a Bisexual woman trying to find her voice and better her own life. The romance happens to be a subplot of it and even then the romance isn't DEEP. This book would be much better promoted in the Contemporary Fiction genre and LGBTQ+ fiction rather than the romance genre.

Overall, this book wasn't bad but it also wasn't great. I believe it could have potential if it was being marketed and promoted correctly.

I enjoyed this one! Charlotte was incredibly relatable to me, to a point where it was almost uncomfortable and I felt like I was looking into a mirror where my reflection was pointing a finger at me. 😅 I was pleasantly surprised at the romantic subplot and found myself really rooting for them.

I do think it got pretty rushed in the end. The last 20 pages were a little too convenient for my taste, and it was a little disappointing to see a few hundred pages of conflict and emotional distress wrapped up (kinda) in a single tweet.

This one is really for the queer depressed twenty somethings having a quarter life crisis and I’m glad I read it!

Thank you Dutton Books and NetGalley for this ARC!

This was so good!! Idk if it’s a new trend or just happens to be a theme in the books I’ve picked up lately, but it’s interesting reading so many stories about people dealing with the way their families react to them being queer in disappointing (and worse) ways. It’s sadly realistic but I enjoy seeing such a strong focus on found family.

Charlotte’s journey was rough to read, cw for emotional abuse, depression, panic attacks, suicidal ideation, etc., but seeing her finally break free from that and realize her worth and that she has people who love her and care about her was so satisfying. And Charlotte and Reese’s relationship was great. The way they’re so comfortable around each other, in contrast to the stress that was her and her ex, the way he helps her lighten up, that he’s able to open up to him about her past and her trauma, the laughing during sex! <3

Oh and I love the cover! Thank you to Dutton Books and NetGalley for the digital copy in exchange for a honest review..

The description alone was like a gut punch. I'm sorry was this a book about me? Ella Dawson I know you're hiding in my closet, you can come out now.

Funny business aside, this book was really good and touched me in ways I wasn't ready for. The book was fun to read and made me look a little deeper into my own self. I think this is something a lot of people, especially people within my generation, should take a look at. We're all tired, but that doesn't mean to give up. Take a breather and carry on.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher!

this isn’t necessarily the brand of contemporary fiction i’d normally gravitate towards, but the description caught my attention and i generally enjoyed it! there’s a lot of millennial lingo and social media references that made me internally cringe, but aside from that you have a second chance romance and queer found family story with a well rounded supporting cast.

I thought it was romance but I feel like it delves into so many things where it becomes so busy. I thought that the writing was okay, I just went into reading this book with a different mindset and felt disappointed by it.

A nostalgic and relatable debut! This fresh take on chosen family and defining worth is deftly articulated without being cheesy or overdone.

Charlotte Thorne is at a breaking point. She has a toxic boss at a dead end job, suppressed trauma of an emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend, and friendships that are drifting apart. As she travels to her five year college reunion, her past comes flooding back. It’s a story that any confused twenty-something can resonate with- the feelings of inadequacy seeing your peers make career moves, the filtered lens of social media, and the regret of missed opportunities. But it’s also a journey of growth: mending friendships, rekindling romance, and recognizing personal worth. The supporting cast of characters help Charlotte navigate her feelings- whether it be through her best friend Jackie’s creative color wheel (would love a visual of this!), or her wholesome former beau Reece’s deserved validation. It’s a slow build with an ending that will leave you craving more.

This was a fun (and slightly spicy!) read and provided me with some new insight into the LGTBQIA+ world.
Thank you to NetGalley & Penguin Dutton Group for the eARC.

3.5 Stars

Charlotte Thorne, a personal assistant struggling to stay afloat in NYC, is back at her alma mater for her 5 year reunion weekend which doubles as a work trip after her boss is invited as the commencement speaker. No family support system leads to a true survivor mentality for Charlotte, accepting a toxic, borderline abusive workplace for the sake of financial security. While hesitant to go to the reunion at all, she quickly reconnects with her chosen family and support system.

I enjoyed the concept of this book, who doesn't want a chance to live a college weekend with your best friends one more time? I also loooved the rich and (literally) colorful descriptions of emotions and feelings throughout the book. It gave a sort of synesthetic thread throughout the book and really brought it to life for me!

I found the first 1/3 of the book to be very slow without much substance. At a certain point, the deep dives into Charlotte's anxious states were too much and I think lost the power it originally had in the story.

I really enjoyed the importance of chosen family and how it can be just as strong of a support system as blood family. But for what seems like an overly open and honest group who make space for each other's feelings and discussion of sexuality, family/relationship dynamics, there is a lot of masking and secret-keeping about jobs and menial things, which felt disconnected from the overall theme.

Overall a good read with queer representation and a satisfying ending.

Thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Group Dutton for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

It took me a while to get into this but I still had a great time reading it! Charlotte and Reece's tension and chemistry was very fun to read about and I really appreciated the journey through Charlotte's trauma. It had a good message and a nice ending!

Charlotte is dealing with a lot of trauma from her past when she goes to her reunion. What first caught my interest in this book was that the main character was a "burned-out bisexual". I want to preface that when it comes to dating/intimacy, most of the focus is on her male relationships. It's a second-chance love story in the end, but one of struggling with old patterns, fun and honest moments with friends and found-family, breaking free from the past and overcoming the internal lies you tell yourself.

In general, the book took me a bit to get into. I wouldn't say I felt a ton of sexual chemistry between Charlotte and Reece, but definitely a sweetness and safety to be found in their relationship that is endearing and vulnerable. And although I'm happy with how the story worked out, I wish there was an epilogue to talk about what happens after the reunion.

I was blown away by But How Are You, Really. Elle Dawson has written such a beautiful book on facing your trauma, burnout, queer joy, that feeling of being 27 and unsure of where you are in the world, and a second-chance romance. I devoured this book, crying and smiling the whole way through.

The first few chapters took me minute to get into—I was hesitant if I would like Charlotte's voice and pessimism, but I quickly became engrossed in the actual plot. Dawson was able to capture the existential dread that so many younger adults feel and balance that heaviness with the charming love interest, Reese and fun of returning back to your university. The banter between Charlotte's friends and Reese was clever and realistic.

Nostalgia was on every page and I got wrapped in it as well. I was especially taken by the emphasis on queer joy and love – there's a specific scene in the later half of the book that made me immediately burst into tears; just the simplicity and way Dawson handled it...I was a wreck.

I do feel like this won't be a novel for everyone; I can see people not Getting it or not connecting with Charlotte's inner dialogue but the conflicts and struggles felt so real and fleshed out to me. I finished the novel in one day and have been thinking about it since.

thank you to net galley and dutton books for this arc!

i love love loved getting to be a part of this little weekend getaway full of queer characters reliving their youth! it felt so comforting and familiar, like hanging out with my own friends. i adored reece and charlotte and their chemistry, even if it seemed to escalate at a pretty unrealistic rate.

i loved the message behind the book and the intention behind it, i think it’s an important message for young people and especially young queer people.

overall it was an enjoyable read, i had a great time reading it, but it didn’t suck me in and give me the feeling of not being able to put it down.

This book wasn’t my favorite. I just didn’t get into the characters or content. It was a DNF for me. I wish you all the best on this book.

This was such an enjoyable, relatable, and fun read! I was already so drawn in to this story simply from the description, but was even more surprised by how much I truly loved this book.

To begin, this story felt so similarly to Happy Place by Emily Henry but with more emphasis on LGBTQ+ topics as well as the realities of being in your 20s. Even if Charlotte’s story is one that not many can directly understand, the overarching theme of seeking family within friendship makes this story so special. This book truly encapsulates the trials and tribulations of discovering yourself both in and after college - through romantic and platonic relationships, finding your career, and feeling comfortable in your own skin. There is a seamless flow between learning at this stage of life and coping with moving on from this “golden age”, a period we see Charlotte reminisce on throughout the book.

I loved this story particularly because it was able to capture a weekend in a college reunion through the lens of these friendships (& relationships) rekindling. Reece and Charlotte’s relationship development always held me on the edge of my seat because their banter always had me giggling to myself, but I felt just the same fulfillment in a scene with Jio or Nina. There was so much depth throughout the plot that heightened my emotional investment in this story and even made me (a current college student) reflect on the value of the time I have now as well as the people I am spending it with. I LOVED the part where Charlotte goes to Reeces old college house for a house party, I really connected with their relationship here with how natural their banter felt.

The best way to describe this book is pure nostalgia, Dawson really establishes a family by the end of the book that leaves you wanting more. This book is also very current with online trends and culture in a way that is not cringey, which I just wanted to quickly commend because this is something I find can be done very wrong in books!
But with that being said it just added to the relatability element.

Overall, I felt like there was a culmination of topics relative to personal identity, living on your own, and relationships that were woven together in a way I thoroughly enjoyed. I would definitely recommend this book!

I loved this book so very much. This is a story about the non-linear healing process from abuse and trauma, perseverance, found-family, self-love, breaking cycles, second chances, and nostalgia. The author did such a brilliant job of making the reader care deeply for and genuinely relate to each of the characters. Checking the trigger warnings is a must. I will absolutely be picking up a physical copy of this once released!

Thank you to the author and NetGalley for providing this ARC for my voluntary and honest review!

Charlotte Thorne is back at Hein University for her five year reunion, not by choice. Her egotistical boss Rodger is giving a speech to the graduating class on the last day of the reunion. Charlotte would rather be literally anywhere instead of the place where her degrading ex broke her, where she ruined what could have been the love of her life, and where she has to face her best friends. Charlotte Thorne is back at Hein University for her five year reunion, not by choice. Her egotistical boss Rodger is giving a speech to the graduating class on the last day of the reunion. Charlotte would rather be literally anywhere instead of the place where her degrading ex broke her, where she ruined what could have been the love of her life, and where she has to face her best friends.

The friendship is this book is so great. The representation in this book is so amazing. The story is definitely relatable to so many people.

Charlotte goes through a lot just during the weekend reunion but we also get   to learn about everything she wet through in college and about all of her friends.

Jackie is her best friend and roommate from college who helped her when her mom was unsupportive and Charlotte figure out how to communicate her feelings. I loved her character so much and I believe everyone needs a friend like her.

It’s hard to explain this book other than saying it’s about a young woman who is forced to revisit her past where at one point she felt amazing until she didn’t and her life didn’t turn out the way she wanted (relatable) and she didn’t ask her friends for help.

It sounds very basic but I promise you it isn’t. It’s a second chance romance with great queer representation, great friendships, and a great story that ultimately comes full circle. I highly recommend.

Thank you, NetGalley and Dutton publishing for this arc in exchange for an honest review.

I loved this book way more than I expected to. I accidentally read this book at the perfect time, right as I’m approaching my 5-year mark from graduating college. Ella Dawson did such an incredible job of perfectly capturing how hard it is to be in your mid/late twenties, finding your place in the world, navigating rough jobs, and trying to maintain old friendships. This book not only resonated but also filled me with so much warmth and hope; it’s such a good reminder that your true friends are the ones who are there for you at the end of the day, even when you’re struggling. I also loved the queer representation in this book, especially Charlotte's bisexuality. I would have LOVED an epilogue to find out how Charlotte’s path had gone after the reunion, it was a book I wasn’t ready to end!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review!

This book is about Charlotte, an almost thirty bisexual woman in an existential crisis about her life/career/success when she's dragged back to her alma mater reunion event for work. This event brings out the good, the bad, and the ugly, and we get to watch her navigate through it.

What worked for me:
- Charlotte is all of us. Or, at the very least, she is me. I resonated so heavily with her character. A woman in corporate who is smart, competent, educated... but used as a glories assistant to "the man." But, like, the job pays the bills so let's stick it out because a toxic boss isn't enough to get me to leave the company. I feel you, Char.
- Diverse characters. Loved all the authentic representation. It really did take me back to my college days.
- Female friendships. More of this always. I would have loved more of this over the male romantic interest.

What didn't work for me:
- 30-40 page chapters. Felt like I was reading chapter one for 10 days.
- Pacing. I think this is the problem with any character driven story. The plot was just so mundane it dragged. This is not to say it was bad, it was just so real life that it bored me.
- I'm sorry, I have to say it. In chapter one they grab an IPA from the bartender and then mentions "drinking my pilsner" an obscene amount of times. Could you just say beer? My pilsner this and pilsner that. I honestly could go my whole life never reading the word pilsner again. Also, IPAs and pilsner are not the same. If you can't tell, this really bothered me.

Overall, this book is extremely relatable and I just want to give Charlotte a hug and a pep talk. It brought me back to my college days, which were always so much fun.

Thank you NetGalley and Penguin Random House for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own.

This book hit me hard. The main character and I have a lot in common, with emotional abuse something I’ve dealt with in the past, even on an employer level. I understood her responses, and feeling alone. I absolutely loved how things morphed for her as her the weekend went on, and I’m dreaming up a happily ever after for her in my head!

I love the concept of a college reunion helping her break the chains and the cycle she was in. Looking forward to seeing more from this author!