[3.5 stars] An enjoyable debut novel of second-chance romance and diverse found-family characters. Charlotte is extremely relatable for anyone who's ever had a job they hate, an awful school/college ex, or made some regrettable mistakes when younger, and I'm glad she was able to grow from them. Side characters all seem fun but I felt like I didn't get to know that much about them, and the story itself seemed limited by taking place entirely over the reunion weekend - the first half of the book seemed to drag a little explaining so many details of the college before it got interesting, and I'd like to have known what happened after. Maybe a chance for a sequel?

Thank you Dutton & NetGalley for an advanced copy and chance to review this lovely book. I love how relatable and confident this character is! I’ve talked for ages about how navigating this stage of life is so difficult and someone finally wrote about it in such a tasteful way! Captivating, compelling and thought provoking!

"But How Are You, Really" by Ella Dawson delves into the complexities of post-college life, career struggles, and the challenges of maintaining relationships. The protagonist, Charlotte Thorne, finds herself reluctantly returning to her alma mater, Hein University, for her five-year reunion. The unexpected convergence of her professional life, past relationships, and unresolved emotions creates a narrative filled with self-discovery, nostalgia, and the pursuit of personal growth.

The novel's exploration of Charlotte's postgraduate life, marked by stalled career progress and a fading passion for drawing, adds a relatable dimension for readers navigating the uncertainties of early adulthood. The reluctance to confront the past and the discomfort associated with revisiting college experiences resonate with the common struggle of balancing expectations with reality.

The central conflict, driven by Charlotte's need to attend her reunion due to her demanding boss's commitment, sets the stage for a weekend of self-reflection and reconnection. The inclusion of LGBTQIA+ themes, such as disco parties at the LGBTQIA+ program house, adds diversity and depth to the story, allowing readers to explore the challenges faced by the queer community in a college setting.

The dynamic between Charlotte and Reece Krueger, the hockey player from her past, introduces an element of romantic tension and the opportunity for the protagonist to confront unresolved issues. The exploration of why Charlotte ghosted Reece five years ago promises a deeper emotional layer to the narrative.

The description hints at Charlotte's attempts to dodge questions about her mental health, highlighting a potential exploration of mental health themes in the story. This could provide a valuable perspective on the importance of addressing mental health challenges, a topic that resonates with many readers.

The condensed timeline of seventy-two hours creates a sense of urgency, suggesting a narrative structure that keeps the story focused and dynamic. It also implies a transformative journey for Charlotte within a short span, adding an element of intensity and anticipation for readers.

In summary, "But How Are You, Really" appears to be a nuanced exploration of post-college life, relationships, and self-discovery. With its relatable themes, LGBTQIA+ representation, and the promise of emotional depth, the book seems poised to offer readers a thought-provoking and engaging reading experience.

I've followed Ella Dawson's work for a long time, from her social media work with TED and later a romance podcast company to her writing for Patreon. I was stoked to get my hands on her first novel!

This novel does not disappoint--but it's more intense than I expected! If you're looking for a light-hearted, fluffy, escapist romance read, this isn't it. But it's excellent. The characters feel real and believable, and I loved how much Ella fleshes out their backstories and relationships. Reese was a delight to fall for through Charlotte. The weekend was a whirlwind and I was so invested in getting Charlotte out of her shitty job and moving in a better direction.

At times, Charlotte was a bit frustrating. I, too, am a bi girlie with mommy issues, but I only had so much patience for her clinging to her abusive, toxic workplace because *paycheck.* GIRL, GET OUT.

I wish her friendship with Jackie had been a bit more fleshed out--we see how important Jackie is to her, but we don't actually get to know Jackie all that much.

Sometimes the writing felt a bit repetitive because there was so much groundwork laid, trod, and re-trod with Charlotte's mama trauma, relationships trauma, etc. I got it! It was well done, but I was ready to move on after awhile.

There were a few solid steamy scenes--not the steamiest I've ever read, but still well written and not cringe! Reese and Charlotte's budding relationship itself was more wholesome and envy-worthy than the sex, lol.

This book made me feel old. I never had Charlotte's confidence to date and sleep with people of all genders in college--I was a terrified prude 😅 And going to a five year reunion to drink and reminisce with your college buddies seems deeply unappealing. But I guess that's what you happens when you're 33 haha. And, it's a good reminder that books don't have to be relatable to be enjoyable!

Read this for: found family themes, a wholesome relationship, thoughtful (if repetitive) exploration of trauma, a triumphant job-quitting scene, and great queer rep (note: the representation in this book was so well done and didn't feel forced/cringey like some romance I've ready lately--looking at you, Ashley Herring Blake).

4.5 stars. Would definitely recommend.

A book that takes the phrase "chaotic bisexual" extremely literally. Overall, this was a fun read! Heavier than I expected, given both the cover and the description, but I think the heavier topics were treated with an extreme amount of care.

Some of the book lacked nuance, reading as very literal and thus lacking dimension, and I do wish we had spent more time with Charlotte's friends to get a clearer sense of their lives and their version of community. But even then you could feel there was a lot of love between them, and that made the end of this book extremely uplifting considering the amount of shit that Charlotte had to get through in order to come out the other side.

Also, can I just say how refreshing it is to have a romance where people talk, and actually communicate how they're doing/what they're feeling. Adults can communicate! It was so nice to see these conversations actually take place, instead of dancing around topics--this book confronts them head on.

While it did slow down in places, overall this was still a relatively well-plotted book. I enjoyed it, and also very much want to be friends with these people.

Thank you NetGalley and Edelweiss for the advanced copy in exchange for my honest review. First off, what a fun cover! This was a super fun premise and I was excited to read a debut LGBTQ novel. The representation in this book was spot on. There is an emotional depth to this story that I was not entirely expecting given the description which is no fault to anyone else but my current mood as a mood reader. Love a second chance romance and reliving the college nostalgia!

In Ella Dawson's captivating novel, "But How Are You, Really," readers are introduced to Charlotte Thorne, a young woman who finds herself at a crossroads in life. Dissatisfied with her post-college existence, Charlotte's career has hit a roadblock, her artistic passion has waned, and she feels disconnected from her chosen queer family. As the prospect of attending her five-year college reunion arises, Charlotte initially recoils at the idea of spending a weekend with her accomplished former classmates. However, circumstances force her back to her alma mater when her demanding boss, Roger Ludermore, is invited to deliver the commencement address. Returning to Hein University, Charlotte is immediately confronted with a flood of memories, both glorious and cringe-worthy. The campus becomes a nostalgic reminder of late-night disco parties at the LGBTQIA+ program house, nights spent in cramped twin XL beds, and her complicated relationship with Reece Krueger, a hockey player who became her rebound after a painful breakup. Suddenly, the dreaded reunion weekend morphs into an opportunity for Charlotte to revisit the past and gain a fresh perspective on her present. With a determination to let loose and have some fun, she deftly evades her best friend's probing inquiries about her mental well-being, disregards incessant work messages, and attempts to bury the truth behind her abrupt ghosting of Reece all those years ago. But as the clock ticks away, can Charlotte truly outrun her past and find a way to rebuild her life within a mere seventy-two hours? Dawson masterfully weaves a tale of self-discovery and personal growth in "But How Are You, Really." Through Charlotte's journey, readers are reminded of the complexities of post-college life, where expectations often clash with reality. The author expertly captures the universal struggle of finding one's place in the world and reconciling with the decisions and mistakes of the past. Charlotte's internal battle with her mental health provides a poignant backdrop, shedding light on the importance of addressing emotional well-being in the face of life's challenges. With skillful storytelling, Dawson delves into the intricacies of relationships, both romantic and platonic, exploring the impact of unresolved issues and the power of forgiveness. The chemistry between Charlotte and Reece is palpable, and their emotional connection serves as a reminder that love and personal growth can go hand in hand. "But How Are You, Really" is a thought-provoking and emotionally resonant novel that will captivate readers from beginning to end. Ella Dawson's insightful exploration of the human experience, combined with skillful character development, makes this book a compelling read for anyone navigating the complexities of adulthood, relationships, and finding one's true self. In conclusion, "But How Are You, Really" is a compelling and heartfelt work that will leave readers pondering their own journeys of self-discovery. Ella Dawson's ability to capture the essence of personal growth and the complexities of relationships is commendable. This novel is a must-read for anyone seeking a thought-provoking and emotionally immersive literary experience.

I could not be more excited for the world to discover Ella Dawson’s awesome debut. How Are You, Really? follows its bright protagonist to her five year college reunion. As she reconnects with an old flame and her vibrant queer community, she hides the realities of her life – she’s got a job that is beyond toxic, a nonexistent social life, and a boatload of unexamined trauma. But four days is an eternity when there’s a ghost around every corner and her neglected friendships are on the brink of collapse.

I loved this book about navigating relationships in a world that’s on fire. At the same time, the romance at the heart of the book is steamy and warm in the most satisfying way. Charlotte’s journey back to the place where she first found herself is a thoughtful story about what it really means to heal. How Are You, Really? is the perfect book for anyone who is trying to figure out what it takes to build the life they want for themselves… And who also might be a bit of a romantic.

The description of the book seemed interesting, so I wanted to check the story out. Unfortunately, it is not working for me right now. It is nothing against the story or the author, but I couldn't get into the story/characters. I may try and find a physical copy to add the my library when it is released, though, because I think my readers could like it!

This book has some lovely things going for it. It features a great queer chosen family and plenty of representation across both genders and sexualities. It also has characters learning to speak up for themselves, which is lovely. At its best, it's heart-warming, sexy, and funny. At its weak points, it sometimes lingers too long in a scene or setting. I think the book could have been trimmed by about 40 pages without losing the heart of its emotional impact. I think its a good romance, and I would recommend it, but qualify it as a slow burn.

*4.5

This book is pretty great, I really liked it! It’s perfect for every queer and for every bisexual girl (like me!) in particular. It’s really hit me, it’s mess up with my brain because this story is so real, it can be the story of all of us. I’m grateful for it. Grateful for have had the chance to read it so early. Can’t wait for this book to be relished and I really hope people would love it like I do.

Thank you Netgalley and Penguin Group for the arc!

I really liked this book. I felt that the author did an incredible job of expressing through Charlotte the very human craving to be known and loved despite feeling broken, undesirable, and unloved by past people and experiences. We’ve all held space in our lives where we felt stuck in a dead end job, the friends we once held dear are now more acquaintances, and each day feels like a fight to make it to tomorrow. Charlotte’s struggles felt so real and I think that resonated deeply with me. Another thing that I thought was wonderful was the use of color to describe feelings - yellow relief, sea foam green pride, vein blue blood, neon pink of freedom, radiant orange or excitement - it made this book pop and come alive. I could see and taste the story in such a compelling way. Ella Dawson’s representation of the LGTBQIA+ community is vibrant, steady, and subtle, all mixed together in a beautiful blend of humanity. And as with any good romance, there is spice for those that are down for that!

Oh she's just like me for real huh? Yeah everyone needs to read this. The girls and gays will eat this one up.

Thank you NetGalley for a free e-galley of this book in exchange for an honest review.

In "But How Are You, Really" by Ella Dawson, readers are invited into the tumultuous and reflective world of Charlotte Thorne, a bisexual woman grappling with stalled career aspirations, a passion for drawing that's slipped away, and the complexities of reconnecting with her queer chosen family. Set against the backdrop of a five-year college reunion, Dawson skillfully explores themes of self-discovery, mental health, and the enduring impact of past relationships.

Charlotte’s character is relatable and deeply human. Her reluctance to confront her past, particularly her relationship with Reece Krueger, a hockey player and an old flame, is portrayed with honesty and depth. Dawson excels in capturing the nuances of Charlotte's internal struggles, from her career frustrations to the unease of revisiting old stomping grounds and rekindling lost connections.

The setting of Hein University, with its mix of nostalgia and new experiences, provides a rich canvas for Charlotte's journey. The narrative expertly weaves flashbacks and present-day encounters, allowing readers to piece together the puzzle of Charlotte's past while witnessing her current struggles. The use of a college reunion as a narrative device is effective, offering a poignant exploration of how our past shapes our present and future.

However, the novel's pacing can sometimes feel uneven, particularly in the balance between Charlotte's personal growth and the various subplot developments. While the portrayal of Charlotte's mental health and her journey towards self-acceptance is compelling, some readers might find the resolution of these complex issues within the tight timeframe of a weekend reunion somewhat unrealistic.

Content warnings for themes of mental health, sexuality, and relationship dynamics are appropriate. The novel will resonate most with readers who appreciate character-driven stories that explore the intricacies of identity, past relationships, and the journey to self-acceptance.

In conclusion, "But How Are You, Really" is a thoughtful, engaging novel that delves into the complexities of coming to terms with one's past and the ongoing journey of self-discovery. Ella Dawson has crafted a story that is both relatable and poignant, making it a strong addition to the genres of LGBTQIAP+ fiction and women's fiction.

** A copy of But How Are You, Really was provided by the publisher and NetGalley/Edelweiss+ in exchange for an honest review **

But How Are You, Really is a fun and emotional debut. It takes place at a five year college reunion and deftly handles themes such as emotional abuse, toxic work relationships, queerness, and adulting. What is most powerful/beautiful is the friendship and found family at the heart of the novel. I also deeply appreciated the themes of being proud of who you are and how your you-ness makes you worthy of love and care. Overall, Dawson offers a story that feels like a much-needed and healing hug. Highly recommend!

Side note: What a wonderful cover!

Really love how this is an echo of healing through the friendships we form, and the love we deserve, even if the road is tough getting there. Highly recommend!

Drop whatever you're reading and get your hands on this fun, steamy, debut novel, But How Are You, Really by Ella Dawson.

Picture this: it's been five years since college graduation. Having successfully filled her life with all-work-and-no-fun following a brutal break up, the thought of attending her five-year reunion to schmooze and risk seeing ex's and old-friends fills Charlotte Thorne with impending dread. Unlucky for her, Charlotte's savage boss is asked to give the commencement speech which means, like-it-or-not, she's going. Out of options, Charlotte must brave the weekend head on, rekindling old connections--some welcome and some not-so-much-- and ultimately find herself faced with confronting all the things that scare her the most.

In her debut novel, author Ella Dawson skillfully brings the reader back to the concrete walls of college life, capturing the angst and drama, as if it was just yesterday. You may *think* you don't want to revisit those days yourself, but I promise that you won't be able to put down this claim your life/take back your story/follow your heart/trust that your worth more than you think/best friends are forever/second chance at love/with a healthy dash of heat novel.

Five stars for But How Are You, Really.

Thank you to Penguin Group Dutton and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and provide feedback on this advanced review copy of But How Are You, Really by Ella Dawson.