I was unable to finish this book and thus will not be posting a full review. I found that five years after college graduation was not sufficient to make these characters interesting and the state of arrested development did not resonate with me. Thank you for your consideration and the opportunity to review.

BUT HOW ARE YOU, REALLY is a poignant, funny and emotional novel about charlotte thorne, a burnt out bisexual millennial going back to her alma mater for her 5-year college reunion. going back is the last thing she wants to do, but when her boss is invited to do the commencement speech, she has no choice but to return and confront some past ghosts. i wasn't sure what to expect when i started reading this book, but i quickly found myself immersed in the narrative, eagerly following along as charlotte reunited with her college friends and ex-situationship (who she still has incredible chemistry with). as a millennial who's struggled with impostor syndrome and comparing myself to my peers, i found charlotte to be so relatable and her struggles with her dead-end career and her fear of the future felt so palpable and real to me. i would absolutely recommend this book to anyone, but especially those who've struggled with finding their place post-graduation. thanks to netgalley and dutton for the advanced copy. BUT HOW ARE YOU, REALLY comes out june 4th.

Charlotte Thorne is returning to college for her five year reunion. She is working as a personal assistant, to a thankless boss. Caught up in the need to pay dues and hoping for the job her egocentric boss dangles but never gives her. Charlotte is BI and has a hard time realizing how much she has let her once dear queer friends slip from her life. Her character arc is great. Going from the whiny it’s not my fault to showing confidence and self worth all in a very short weekend timeframe.

It helps that her once college boyfriend is there and the attraction and chemistry is still high. I like that reconnecting with friends is part of her journey to finding herself again. Of course having a boss that is almost cartoon villainous makes it easy to cheer her on in her new choices. I like the story overall but even with the quick time frame the story was slow in parts. Because this is Charlotte’s story it is correctly marketed as women’s fiction with a romance. I was happy with the potential HEA ending and may have wished for an epilogue to see further into her future. Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Group Dutton for the ARC and I am leaving an honest review. (3.5 Stars)

But How Are You, Really?

Well, I'm perplexed but in the best way possible. this was a goodie btu V diff from what i'm used to. Overall though it was still a win for me. Just on the slow side.

Love a book that makes me feel validated in my fear of being a burn out and being in my late twenties. Absolutely nothing like working a job you don’t want but have to have for income and insurance.

I loved the description of the book however I think the pacing could have been better! It was slow at first but it got better!

It seriously captured being bi so well and everything that comes with it! Definitely one to recommend to friends and the queer community!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC and chance to review this book.

I felt so protective of Charlotte while reading this book and felt similarly to her friends who were worried about seeing her so miserable. As someone who graduated high school 10 years ago and college 7 years ago, the idea of a college reunion filled me with dread, probably for the same reasons Charlotte mentioned in the book. Being seen is hard; being truly known is HARD. It leaves us with nowhere to hide.

As a trauma therapist, I loved reading about Charlotte coming to terms with the abuse she experienced from multiple people in her life in multiple contexts. I loved it because it felt real — the patterns we find ourselves falling into when we’ve suffered abuse are there because these relationships feel familiar and our brain mistakes familiarity for safety. These realizations are messy and break us wide open. I could feel how carefully and respectfully Ella Dawson wrote about this.

Its a novel that I didn’t want to stop reading, but at the same time I also didn’t want it to end. The writing is sharp, and takes on a lot of contemporary issues with ease and careful responsibility.

I was excited to read this book, but unfortunately I just couldn't get into it. The pacing felt slow and it was hard for me to get invested. I would like to give this book a second chance since it hits on so many things I love, but I will likely do that via audiobook.

THIS BOOK!!! For a debut I’m blown away. Charlottes story felt so real. Facing your past and things that scare you most is not easy. I love that she’s taking back her life and following her heart in that she’s worth more than she thinks.

Oh this book was so much fun and it hit me quite hard. This contemporary romance story hits that spot that I seek where it provides depth of characters (main and side) while also exploring very difficult topics. In this book, Dawson does a wonderful job at portraying the cycles of abuse a person can get stuck in when it's all they've known. From parents homophobia, to emotionally abusive partners and bosses, this book shows how it can inhibit a person from knowing they deserve better from their families, friends, partners, and jobs.

This story is told form a 3rd person perspective, which scared me a bit because sometimes that makes it harder to connect with the inner world of the main character (in my experience). However, I think it does a great job at giving you the insight of how Charlotte felt throughout the book. On the other hand, I kept wishing I could get more insights on how Reese (mmc) or Jackie (bff) were feeling; even though it was 3rd person, it gave me the same vibes a 1st person pov gives me where all the insight comes from the main character and their perceptions of others. It still worked and conveyed the emotions it needed to, but I do wonder if fully committing to 1st person or exploring more of what a 3rd person pov could do for side characters would've benefit this story.

In summary, this one is for the queer kids with parent or partner-related trauma who don't know how to ask for help or they feel like they are so behind their peers. This book was fun, emotional, sexy, and sweet.

Side note: I LOVE that it didn't include an epilogue. The ending was perfect! Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this review copy.

The pace of this book is too slow for me. The opening felt like exposition with no real story, and I didn’t connect to the characters. DNF.

Thanks, NetGalley, for the ARC.

I enjoyed this book but wasn’t in love with it so I’m rating it a 3.5 rounded up to 4. I enjoyed the characters and really liked Reese. The boss & Aubrey were complete trash.

I think I might have listened to this too fast and didn’t give myself time to sit and fall in love with the characters.

I unfortunately resonated a lot with Charlotte’s relationship with Ben and how that can stick with you.

Read this if you liked Old Enough!

Thank you to NetGalley & PRH Audio for ARCs of this book 🫶🏻

I thought this book was okay. I wanted a little more from the story and characters. But I do love a messy post-college exploration of self

THIS BOOK!!! 🩷💜

If you enjoyed Old Enough by Haley Jakobson, I think you would really love this.

- millennial bisexual
- college reunion
- take-back-your-life story
- second chance romance
- friendships!!! + chosen family
- emotional abuse survivor (TW)

10/10 highly recommend! ⚡️

I loved Ella Dawson's writing style and her characters. I wish I could give it 4.5 stars instead of 4. I was hoping for an epilogue to really wrap up the story. I felt like there were a few loose ends that I expected a closing for. I'd love a follow-up romance exploring Charlotte and Reece and where Charlotte goes next. ORRRRR a book in the same universe that explores Nina and Jackie's new relationship.

2.5 stars

I am *ALL* for books that talk about mental health and trauma healing. And this book has an interesting cast of queer characters. However, the pacing was very slow and it was hard to connect with Charlotte. The first third of the book felt disconnected with jumping between past and present. It doesn't really feel like a romance, either.

I did appreciate the bi rep. Content warning for abusive relationship.

Thank you to NetGalley and publisher for the opportunity to read and review.

The way this book hurt my feelings… whew!

I cannot recommend this book enough to my fellow listless and burnt out girlies. This was so relatable and heartfelt and everything I’d want in a contemporary fiction book.

I loved it!

This book just wasn't for me. The plot is interesting, but overall, I felt the story dragged and I didn't like any of the characters. Some of the scenarios came across as corny, and I don't like anything corny-related. It's a real shame because I think this novel showed real potential but ultimately lacked excitement and depth. I needed more substance and stronger plotline. I think a lot of readers would enjoy this story, but the whole novel felt flat and lackluster for me. Such a disappointment.

A fantastic novel about finding yourself and finding love, BUT HOW ARE YOU REALLY was exactly what I needed as a burnt-out millennial approaching her ten-year college reunion (ick!). Speaking to nostalgia, past loves, and past trauma, BHAYR found its footing when allowing characters to bloom into their true selves. A wonderful story about realizing that love is a strength, not a weakness, be it romantic or platonic.

5⭐️

Life following graduation is not what Charlotte Thorn had hoped it would be. She went from dreams of being an artist with a tightknit group of queer friends who are more like a family, to being stuck in a dead end job as an admin assistant and is regularly verbally abused by her boss, has no desire to draw and has mostly lost contact with her friend group. She had no desire to go to her college reunion and spend a weekend on campus reliving her glory days, but her boss is a featured speaker and she was given no choice. That's what brings Reece Kreuger, the one who got away, back into her life. And while things are different, Charlotte's avoidant attachment style may ruin everything before she can have a second chance with Reece.

As a burnout bisexual with an avoidant attachment style, wow I felt seen in this book. Between Charlotte's PTSD from her last serious relationship with a narcissist, her strained relationship with her mother and her not trusting that the family she found for herself actually likes her everything was just very relatable. Going from a relationship where you were made to feel unlovable to one with someone who actually cares for you is a hard transition and the way Reece handled the entire situation was just heartwarming.

I liked the way that even when Charlotte pushed them away, her friend group handled Charlotte so well. Sometimes your friends need handled with kids gloves and sometimes they need tough love and I feel like all of Charlotte's friends walked that fine line perfectly. I loved that Charlotte finally realized that she had been working herself to the bone for a promotion that would never come and that she had gone from a narcissistic relationship with her ex to a narcissistic relationship with her boss and that she finally stood up for herself. I think Charlotte really found herself by the end and it was just very encouraging when you find that right found family they'll still be there while you find yourself!

Thank you Netgalley and Dutton for providing this ARC to me!

NetGalley provided me with an ARC of this novel, in return for an honest review… so shout out NetGalley! Thanks as always for leaving me with loads of cool things to read 😊

This book surprised me! In the beginning I felt like I didn’t love the characters that much, and it felt a bit surface level. I fully thought it was just going to be a cheesy romcom where a college reunion brings two people back together. Pleasantly surprised to say that this book actually covered some tough topics in a really beautiful and uplifting way.

Trigger warnings for talks of abuse and dealing with the PTSD that comes afterwards- this book hit home for me in a lot of ways. There were moments I was able to really identify with Charlotte. The way she self isolates to cope with tough situations, the harsh inner monologue depicting that everyone is upset with you all the time, and the inability to ask others for support or help. The author did such an excellent job of not only describing these feelings, but really fleshing out the damage that unstable parenting can unleash in an adults coping mechanisms. They also did such an impressive job of showcasing how easy it is to slip into multiple abusive relationships after being the victim to childhood abuse, while still providing a realistic uplifting outcome of how to move through that trauma. The character development was insane. Also this book is QUITE gay (despite the main romance being between a cis man and cis woman) Which I am always a fan of 😊

3 stars just because it took me a bit to get into, but I really felt that the overall message was beautiful and I would def recommend this book!