I tried a couple of times to get into this book, but I found it wasn’t for me. While the author’s points were certainly valid for society as a whole, they don’t apply very well to my personal situation (although we’re all poisoned by patriarchy in one form or another). I’m sure other will find this book valuable.

Thanks, NetGalley, for the ARC.

I’ve always been a big fan of keeping my reading eclectic, and recently I felt the need to pick up some non-fiction. Thankfully, I had Reinventing Love waiting for me in my ARC pile. While it regretfully was a little derivative, it was nice to flex my old academic muscles once again.
Judging this novel objectively, as in ignoring the very valid but unoriginal points it makes regarding the toxicity of enforced gender roles, male-female binaries, and subservient feminine identity being the norm; I will say that Reinventing Love isn’t a catalyst work. It does a good job of modernizing, consolidating, and organizing the larger concepts of its reference material, but does not imbue those concepts with anything new or insightful. It merely states them. Nor is it particularly effective at making said concepts accessible to anyone outside of the academic sphere. In short, it is a textbook, or better yet, a study guide for feminist theory and/or gendered psychology by way of socialization. On its own, I am more inclined to call it a collection of mid-semester gender studies topics—something that would be good reference material for a term paper because it combines so much information from other sources—but not necessarily a book to pick up if you want to learn and understand those topics in any real, in-depth way.
Overall, while I did find this book interesting due to my academic background, it isn’t something I would recommend to someone wanting to learn more about the patriarchy or feminist theory.

As a married woman I often feel like my home is my workplace. I feel like an employee. My husband chose me because he thought I could help make him successful, whether by making a six figure income he could take advantage of, or by doing all the cooking and domestic labor so he could make more income. It has worked out well- for him.
Recently someone brought up how married women are always having to perform femininity and I think that fits. This book validated most of these feelings. I know it upsets people but romantic love is not so much a thing in hetero relationships. We have been socialized to perform and they have been socialized to marry the best performer.

Reinventing Love: How the Patriarchy Sabotages Heterosexual Relations by Mona Chollet is a thought-provoking and insightful exploration of the impact of patriarchal norms on heterosexual relationships. Chollet, a prominent figure in Francophone feminism, sheds light on the complexities and challenges faced by individuals navigating love within a society shaped by gender inequality. Her compelling narrative delves into the ways in which traditional gender roles and power dynamics can hinder genuine connection and intimacy between partners. Through her eloquent prose and sharp analysis, Chollet offers a fresh perspective on the dynamics of love and relationships, making this book a must-read for anyone interested in understanding the intersection of gender, power, and love.

This book was an interesting, and informative, look into the ways that the patriarchy impacts romantic heterosexual relationships.

As someone who calls herself a feminist, I have a lot of knowledge on the patriarchy and its impact on the world we live in. That said, this book helped me think about things in a new light. There is always something more to learn when it comes to patriarchy and the ways we can navigate it, especially as women.

Thank you for the complementary copy!

I immensely enjoyed this book - I also really loved the authors book on witches and patriarchy, so it was no surprise that I liked this as well. It was thoroughly well-researched with tons of outside sources explored and quoted, which really strengthened many of the arguments. It looked at how patriarchy affected heterosexual relationships from many angles and there were several moments that really made me think deeply about my own thoughts, actions, and relationships. In the intro it briefly touched on how patriarchy impacts queer relationships and I would love to read a book that delves into that as well.

I was invited to read this book and was excited to. I do have a minor and women’s gender and sexuality studies and felt like this book was up my alley.

I enjoyed this one. I rated it a 3.5/5 due to it reading like an academic paper. I don’t know if that’s what the author was going for but the writing style of this can make it hard for the average person to really connect with this body of work.

I’d love to read more from this author in the future.

The information at first seemed very interesting, then it turned into a generalization of an entire sex. More anti-man than anti-patriarchy. It seemed like she was cherry-picking her points, and honestly it was counterproductive to any feminist issues. The novel spouted off stereotypes of men needing to be in a position of power, and women needing to be in a position of weakness/submission. It didn't offer any solutions as far as ways to “Reinvent Love” had high hopes for this, but was let down.

While the topic is interesting, the writing itself was heavily narrative, lacking in charm, and felt more like a dry journal entry. It wasn’t for me, but I think it will be a range of 3-5 stars for readers/the target, directly dependent on their level of passion and interest in the subject.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for the ARC.

I am withholding my review in support of the St Martin's Press boycott

Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read this ARC.

I really enjoyed this book! I don't read a lot of nonfiction and I'm so glad I picked this one up!

I learned a lot. I went in going "OF COURSE the patriarchy sabotages relationships!" but I would never have gone as deep into it as the book did! I enjoyed learning and opening my eyes.

This was a RIVETING, ENLIVENING & ENPOWERING Book!

Echoing the clear lucidity of feminist icon bell hooks, Mona Chollet's Reinventing Love is an excellent and truly compelling read. I was continually fascinated by Chollet's well researched, thoughtful and refreshingly non-American perspective. I LOVED THIS BOOK! I am racing out to a grab a hardcopy, and I just picked up her previous book, In Defense of Witches. Shoutout to the smooth and seamless translation by Susan Emanuel from the original French, published in 2021, reissued in July 2024. Very highly recommended.

In "Reinventing Love," Mona Chollet, renowned for her thought-provoking work in "In Defense of Witches," delves into the intricate landscape of heterosexual relationships, offering a compelling exploration that extends beyond traditional feminist discourse. Chollet, recognizing the persistent challenges faced by women in matters of love, skillfully dissects deeply ingrained gender norms obstructing healthy relationships. The book, drawing inspiration from diverse sources like popular culture, politics, and literature, presents a nuanced examination of how a feminist perspective can reshape and enhance heterosexual connections. Rather than adopting a narrow stance, Chollet navigates the complexities with subtlety, addressing the intersection of feminist convictions and societal expectations. As an essential read for those navigating love's complexities, "Reinventing Love" not only challenges prevailing norms but also provides practical insights for fostering more equitable and fulfilling relationships. I highly recommend!