'I will never leave you' was nothing like I expected it to be - I went in expecting grief and sadness and learning how to process but instead was met with an obsessive ex, uncontrollable decisions and futures muddled by vengeful hands. And I loved it all the more because of that twist!

I struggled with the pacing during the middle of this which lowered my enjoyment partially but this was a really well written and thrilling read, going in with no expectations and being met with the guilt and struggles of our mc, the awful ghost ex who wont leave her alone and her worsening mental health HURT but made this book all the better. It was heart-breaking, it was thrilling and it definitely left me wanting to read more from this author.

This was a very well done YA that addresses abusive relationships with care and also in an approachable manner for young adults. This was riveting and creative; I will be interested in future publications by this author. I loved that this was formatted as a thriller

I Will Never Leave You by Kara A. Kennedy is a queer, Y.A. horror novel that I thoroughly enjoyed. The writing was beautiful and the characters were intriguing. Highly recommended!

This was a pretty okay book. It is a little bit domestic thriller and a little bit coming of age. I found it to be okay, not terrible but not that special.

What a brilliant set-up—when your toxic ex-girlfriend is literally haunting you from the grave. Atmospheric, compelling, and full of drama. I was hooked from chapter one and can't wait to read more from Kennedy!

This was a beautifully written book that explores grief, abuse, anxiety, and hope in such a gorgeous, emotional way. I loved Maya -- I felt for her so much, and my heart aches when I think of her and Alana, Elise and the rest of them...just. Wow. Very well done!

This was a lovely debut! Equal parts haunting and romantic. The concept of having an ex literally haunt the main character (in more ways than one) was so clever and done very well. I'll look out for more by this author.

Maya was always able to see those that have passed on, no matter how hard she tried to suppress the ability. That was until her mother died. She hoped that this power would help her see her mother one last time, it however did not. Since then she has not seen anyone in the afterlife….until Alana.
Alana and Maya have been in an unhealthy relationship for years, making a pact together stating that “I will never leave you”. They have twisted themselves together in one torturous knot, but Alana is the one who controls the strings. But Maya has reached the end of her tether, she has finally mustered enough confidence to break things off with Alana. After this explosive breakup Alana goes missing. That is until Maya sees her… but not in her corporeal state.
What happened to Alana, who did this to her? What are her plans for Maya? Just remember some pacts are made to be broken.
Overall rating 4/5
With a true and gritty representation of DV this book delves deep into relationships that are not always physically violent. Alana and Maya have a relationship that needs to be written about! Showing that these situations are not always just in adult relationships and often go unnoticed. The added spirit component was interesting and handled the aspect of stalking to a whole new level.
*Thank you to Kara A. Kennedy, Random House Children's, and Netgalley for the ARC copy. I am freely leaving my honest review.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to review this book.

First off, check your triggers for this one. If you have triggers about emotional abuse, this may not be the book for you.

Maya and Alana have been together for four years. The relationship is controlling and coercive and Maya wants out. They break up while on a hike and Maya leaves....and then Alana goes missing. When she shows up to Maya as a ghost, demanding that Maya help her possess someone, the ugliness of their relationship truly unfolds.

While I found the mystery element of this book to be quite predictable, I think that the darkness of Maya and Alana's relationship was well done. There was no attempt to make this a sweet novel or a romcom (looking at you, CoHo). It dealt with serious subjects and didn't attempt to make light of them.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶️🌶️

Thank you Random House, NetGalley, and Kara A. Kennedy for a free copy of I Will Never Leave You in exchange for an honest review. This book is out now!

WOW. I’m going to be thinking about this book for awhile. I don’t usually like thrillers/mysteries but I really enjoyed this read, and it definitely ranks in the top 10 of my fave YA books. The hook/premise drew me in, and once I started it, it was hard to put down!

I almost gave this book 5 stars, but ultimately decided on 4 because I was hoping for some more nuance regarding the villain of this story. There was a moment of this — showing a bit of her past and the path that led her to becoming who she was by the end of her life. But ultimately, Alana was not even out of high school. Was she absolutely toxic, a bully, putting Maya through abuse? Yes — and the way Kennedy demonstrated the intricacies of emotional abuse was really incredible. However, I wished to see some sort of glimmer of hope for who Alana could have become, how she could have gotten away from her home life and healed so that she no longer treated people the way she did. My heart went out to both of these characters, and perhaps since this is a Young Adult book there needed to be a black and white, solid ending for Alana without a glimmer of potential for redemption to show how wrong she was for how she treated others.

Both Maya and Alana were morally grey, written masterfully and compellingly! Maya was mean to others, channeling Alana in her interactions. But since she was on the precipice of adulthood, it was easy to see Maya’s potential for positive change. Despite how much worse Alana’s behaviors were, I wanted to see that potential as well.



(SPOILERS AHEAD)
As an adult reading this book, it was hard to see Alana’s life end so early, then have this opportunity as a ghost to maybe find peace before passing on… and then that not happening. Instead, Maya vanquishes her foe, and that’s the end of Alana’s story. Yes, the plot was tied up nicely, but it felt unfinished/unfulfilling because of this.

I loved the twist about Elyse — while I assumed she was somehow to blame for Alana’s death, I definitely did not see the twist coming about the infidelity. I wish this had been a bit more flushed out as well. I also loved the way Kennedy portrayed the media, true crime junkies, podcasts, twitter, etc.

Overall, a fantastic book and debut. I look forward to reading more from Kennedy!


For 2024, I’ll be using this rating scale:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I mourned the ending of this journey 🥹
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ really enjoyed and would recommend
⭐️⭐️⭐️ it was fine
⭐️⭐️ I didn’t enjoy this journey
⭐️ I dnf’d or wish I’d dnf’d
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ this is smutty smutty erotica 🥵
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ a lot of spice
🌶️🌶️🌶️ some spice
🌶️🌶️ romantic b plot / closed door / YA romance
🌶️ no romance / nonfiction

This was a really intersting book. Alana was a piece of work for sure and I'm glad she died. Maya had a lot to work through and it was nice to see her growth throughout the book.

I received an arc through netgalley.

A beautiful and moving story about abusive relationships and a solid metaphor for how it haunts us. I really appreciated seeing an abusive relationship centering on a queer relationship since so often those stories are heteronormative in YA books. Overall, a solid debut.

Sometimes all it takes to make the ordinary into something tragic and story-worthy are a few little facts that aren’t visible to the naked eye. In Kara A. Kennedy’s debut YA novel, we’re ushered into the middle of a relationship teetering on the edge of what could be an explosive breakup. Introducing the main character who is obviously on the brink of something life-changing makes for a strong beginning, giving readers something that grabs their attention from the first few pages.

You might not be aware of it, but chances are, you know a couple like Maya and Alana. Friends for a lifetime who started dating once they realized they were fated for each other. A pair whose lives are so meshed together, they can’t see the situation they’re in because it’s not even on their radar. Though they’re just seniors in high school, Maya is realizing that the one person who she thought she’d love forever is toxic. Her family and friends that know her and see her day to day life have told her how they feel, and though Maya’s heart is pounding, she can’t turn back now.

Their breakup was going to be legendary in their small town anyway, but when Maya doesn’t hear from Alana several hours after she abandoned her in a very public area by walking away from yet another verbal lashing, she knew would be coming, she gets worried something happened to her. Despite knowing it’s the best choice for the future and trying to let her go, Maya begins frantically trying to track her girlfriend down. Soon everyone will know that she was the last person to see Alana alive and Maya is terrified someone overheard their slightly emotionally escalated conversation on the hiking trail she confronted her on.

Maya definitely doesn’t seem like the type of person to do something rash and permanent like making Alana disappear forever, but then we all know how thrilling it can be to have an unreliable narrator, and just because Maya is portrayed as a good girl who is still in love with the person she just tried to break up with doesn’t mean it’s the whole truth. Soon, everyone in her small town will be gossiping and spreading misinformation, so Maya decides it’s a good time to reconnect with the sister she cut ties with when Alana accused her of relying on her too much after the death of their mother. Little does she know that what she considers a small decision that might take her mind off things for a while will be seen as suspect when Alana’s body is found not far from where Maya left her the day of the breakup…

I’m always on the lookout for exciting new YA reads and I Will Never Leave You is a book that grabbed my attention right away and held it until the very last page. I hope you, too, will find this to be an entertaining read that is a bit eye-opening to what a toxic relationship can look like from both an insider and outsider perspective.

Review of Digital Advance Reading Copy from Random House Children’s Books

Wow! Unexpected 5 stars! This book consumed me for two days! I cannot believe this is Kennedy’s debut.

The story is gripping and psychologically frightening. I love how Kennedy portrays hauntings, not just in the metaphysical form but also through grief, trauma, and memories. However, the story isn't all dark; she also sheds light on positive ways to help someone cope with panic and anxiety episodes (yay Rowan!), examples of healthy relationships, and the transformative power of healing.

Highlights: ✨toxic relationships ✨dark academia ✨emotional abuse ✨ghost story ✨possession ✨mental health rep ✨sapphic romance

I paired the audio with the physical. Brittany Pressley delivers a fantastic narration, breathing life into Maya's anxiety, panic, worry, and second-guessing while also portraying Alana as a toxic, condescending ex-girlfriend who haunts Maya. Even while reading the physical, I heard Brittany’s voices in my head! If you love audiobooks, I highly recommend this one. But honestly, both formats fall in the “love” category for me!

content warnings: emotional abuse, anxiety, panic attacks, past death of parent

after four years of dating alana, and with high school graduation around the corner, maya is scared to consider the idea of life outside her toxic relationship. finally, she finds the courage to break up with alana on a hiking trip. but while maya comes back from the hiking trip, alana doesn’t…now, alana’s ghost is haunting maya, pressuring her into helping her possess someone, or else maya will go down for alana’s death.

when i first read the description of this book, i was immediately hooked. i’m so grateful i got a chance to read and review this book early, and it’s not one i’ll soon forget. i really felt for maya. she’s centered her life around alana these past years, even cutting some people off because alana told her they were bad for her. and of course, maya wanted to be done with alana, but she didn’t want her dead. even in death, though, alana manipulates and abuses maya. i appreciated how this subject was handled with care and how maya grew into her own person throughout the story.

Maya can see ghosts but that's a detail. Maya's entire life has been about Alana, her girlfriend and before that her best friend. But she breaks up with her and leaves her on a hiking trail. But then Alana disappears. And Maya's entire life is turned upside down. What if perfect, sweet Alana wasn't as great as everyone makes her out to be??

This was incredible and enraging and amazing. I loved every single second of this, even the breaks I had to take cause it made me so mad. I really lived it all from the very first line to the last one. It kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time and I could not stop reading. I honestly loved everything about this and I don't want to say too much but y'all should read it.
An amazing book all over. Kara A. Kennedy is one more author that I'll have to keep an eye on!

Maya has a choice to make that could change her life forever.

Maya Rosier, an 18-year-old girl, has been with her girlfriend, Alana Murray, since they were little. However, their relationship is not perfect as Maya starts to realize that Alana's behavior is causing harm. Before their high school graduation, Maya decides to end their relationship and leaves Alana in Antelope Valley, where they had been hiking together moments earlier. Shortly after, Alana goes missing, and Maya soon discovers that she has died when Alana's spirit appears to her. Alana still wishes to be with Maya and asks for her help in possessing a recent friend of Maya's, Rowan. Maya must find a way to banish Alana's spirit before anyone else gets hurt.

This is the second YA horror fiction book I have read, and it became one of my favorite books of all time. I absolutely adored this author's writing style, and all of the elements, even the difficult ones, made this book unique. I also found the following quote inspiring: "When someone loves you, they don't hurt you on purpose. If you think you need them like flames need oxygen, gasping, drowning, I want to tell you that you are wrong. You survive on your own. Nobody else props you up, and nobody else can take credit for your triumph. You are the phoenix. Fire is always fire. It destroys, it obliterates. But you can always rise again."

Maya is a very relatable and human protagonist. I found myself rooting for her as she grappled with her problems with her anxiety disorder and many other issues. Alana was two-faced but a complex character. Rowan's quirkiness was endearing, and her unwavering support for Maya was truly admirable.

This book is perfect for horror fiction enthusiasts who appreciate compelling and relatable themes.

Happy Publication Day & Happy Reading, Paige ❤️ 📚

Thank you, @netgalley @delacortepress , for the complimentary ARC, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Normally I cringe at authors trying to write ghosts, but this author did so well. This book had everything a private school setting, murder, lesbianism, grief shown from losing people, Maya trying to break the cycle of abuse, small beach town, and gem lore.

Unfortunately, I am not in a good headspace to read this right now. I believe this is an important story to tell, and the writing is really good from what I did read. I'm giving this four stars based on what I read and out of the hope that one day I can come back and read this book properly.

A twisted relationship, the ghost of your toxic ex girlfriend haunting you, and a murder investigation where you are the main suspect. Maya and Alana are girlfriends, well they were until Maya finally broke up with her on their latest hiking trip and left her there. Maya and Alana have a complicated relationship, filled with emotional manipulation and twisted feelings. Alana twists everything and isolates Maya.... yet Maya is the one feeling guilty and codependent. When Maya gets news that Alana hasn't returned from their hike in the mountains.. a case unfolds and Maya becomes the main suspect. On top of that... Maya has a secret, she's been able to see ghosts since she was young.. and now the ghost of Alana is haunting her and telling her she has to help her possess a new body... and so the vicious cycle of their twisted relationship begins again unless Maya can find it in herself to finally get rid of Alana and free herself of her. This is a story that heavily focuses on toxic friendships and relationships. Alana is a textbook emotional abusive girlfriend and honestly terrible to Maya and you just have to sit there and see Maya just take it. The story does have a happy ending and I do think if you enjoy stories about freeing yourself from toxic relationships, then this would be for you!

Release Date: July 23,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and Random House Children's | Delacorte Press for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*