The Literal Ghosts of Trauma
Kara A. Kennedy’s I Will Never Leave You exemplifies the saying, “You can’t make a person get help until they’re ready.” Watching (reading) Maya go through what she does with Alana is heartbreaking. Knowing that everyone around her sees it, too, makes it even more so. But Maya isn’t ready to see what’s happening, so they cannot do anything to help her, no matter how hard they try.

Maya’s reactions are not uncommon but made more intense by her young age. One of those reactions is lying to the police. You can see her thought process, but you’ll still say, “Girl, what are you doing”? You’ll basically say that to Maya throughout the novel. I believe other teens will, too.

That I Will Never Leave You explores emotional abuse in the natural world, and the supernatural makes it more effective than if Kennedy had picked one over the other. Horror is an excellent allegory for real-world issues. Trauma reverberates beyond the “end” of the problem.

Kennedy uses several “tropey” locations in I Will Never Leave You, like a horror mashup. She’s got an all-girl private school, beautiful hiking spots and an idyllic lake town. But it’s not the locations that make this story terrifying — it’s the plot and characters. It’s all very clever.

Should You Read It?
You should totally read Kara A. Kennedy’s I Will Never Leave You. I’ll add the caveat that if you’re not comfortable reading about emotional abuse, you should hold off. Take care of yourself. But if you’re in a place to read it, I think the novel could be healing.

I Will Never Leave You comes out on July 23, 2024. Pick up a copy at your local indie bookstore or library. 📚👻

Content warnings: Emotional abuse, arson, cheating, violence, death, missing child.

Both heartbreaking and healing, this book is an instant favorite. It deals with heavy themes of emotional abuse but main character Maya's acerbic voice and grounded setting make this thriller palatable for its YA audience. Definitely don't read this one after dark!

Wow, Kara Kennedy! What a fantastic debut! I can't recall how this book got on my radar, but I'm so glad to have received an ARC from NetGalley and the publisher.

This YA novel was right up my alley. It has everything: emotional abuse, trauma, a dead mom, ghosts, new friendships, and healing. I was frustrated with Maya, our protagonist, at times, but it was typical YA stuff (emotional immaturity, cringing at her behavior).

The writing is often beautiful here, in a way that adds to the novel rather than being overwritten and distracting. The relationship between Maya and Alana was very well done--it felt real and vibrant. I loved the way we went backwards and forwards in time. It wasn't heavy handed or predictable.

At times, some aspects didn't make sense. Like why could Rowan see Alana later on when she hadn't been able to see ghosts before? But the logistics don't matter as much as the story, here. It's an excellent story about healing and finally being able to know and be yourself with your whole heart, facing the future unafraid and in control.

Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for my e-ARC of I Will Never Leave You!

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔
💔 have ever been in an emotionally abusive relationship
🥀 enjoy sapphic reads
🚘 ever left someone stranded
👻 can see and communicate with ghosts

• 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓

Maya has always belonged to Alana. After four years of dating, and on the precipice of graduating high school, Maya has been too terrified to consider the idea of life outside of their volatile relationship. Until she finds the courage to break up with Alana while they’re hiking in Southern California.

Then Alana goes missing. As the police get involved and the media run wild with the story, everyone seems to think that Maya is lying about Alana’s disappearance. Secretly, Maya knows they’re right: if Alana’s dead, she’s the one to blame.

But that’s not Maya’s only secret. Alana isn’t gone, not really—and she isn’t going to let Maya go so easily…

• 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒

This was such a cool read. The ghost aspect really pulled me in, but I totally understood how Maya felt being in an emotionally abusive relationship. I have been in one as well, and it is so draining. Maya got to her breaking point and decided to end things, not knowing that Alana wouldn’t come home safely. I loved the entire storyline. Even from the other side, Alana shows how cruel and controlling she can be. It just kept getting worse and worse. I highly recommend this one!

Haunting, sad and emotional. “I Will Never Leave You” is a promise between friends to lovers, Maya and Alana, “I Will Never Leave You” becomes a curse when Alana dies and appears to Maya in ghost form. Maya feels guilty because she met Alana in one of their favorite places, broke up with her and left her there without a ride home on what became the day Alana died. Now Alana starts haunting Maya and she’s a vengeful spirit. Alana was Maya’s only friend because Alana wanted it that way. An emotionally manipulative and controlling partner led to struggles with anxiety and depression for Maya. She needs to find strength before Alana finishes her plans of possession of a new friend, Rowan. I Will Never Leave You by Kara A. Kennedy becomes a battle cry for independence. ARC was provided by Delacorte Press via NetGalley. I received an advance review copy and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

I Will Never Leave You is a YA Thriller that I love with my whole heart! So beautifully written. My heart broke and healed all over again. This is one of my new favorites.

Maya is being haunted by the ghost of her toxic ex-girlfriend who gives her a terrible ultimatum—help her find a person to possess or take the fall for her murder.

If Alayna was scary in life, my god she’s terrifying in death.

I felt for Maya so much. It was clear from the first interaction with Alayna how abusive she is and how deep Alayna had sunk her claws into Maya, completely warping her into someone new. This book is a powerful portrayal of emotional abuse, the damage it can do, and a portrayal of healing once coming out the other side.

Also Rowan is one of my favorite people. I loved her teasing nature. But also her softness. Her acceptance. And her strength. I really liked Maya and Rowan’s interactions and the friendship that slowly developed between them.

My heart hurt for Maya’s relationship with her sister. I really felt for Jazmine and how hard everything must be from her end. But I loved the way the story wrapped up in the end.

Overall this is a wonderful book I highly recommend to everyone.

Pub date: July 23rd, 2024

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Children’s for a copy of this eARC.

A love song to healing, vibrant with rage and recovery.
Alana - a perfect ghost of that person always in our ear. Tearing us down. Voicing our self hate.
Maya - isolated, desperate for freedom, a reconnection to her self; the painfulness, brutal truth of recovery and discovering your strength and survival
Just so beautifully done.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!!

“When someone loves you, they don’t hurt you on purpose.”

This book hit me in a way that was both frustrating and eye opening. Maya made me so mad at certain points when she was going along with Alana but it honestly just shows how manipulative Alana was. Your toxic/abusive ex coming back as a ghost to haunt you after you just broke up with them sounds like a nightmare.

Honestly Jazmine was my favorite character. She was such a good big sister. Maya’s dad seemed kind of absent but he also seemed to really care about and love Maya. Rowan and her mom were awesome and I’m glad that Maya had them as well.

The twist at the end I didn’t see coming and I’m really glad this book highlights how bad codependent relationships are. Maya didn’t want to hang out with or do anything with anyone but Alana. Alana successfully isolated all her friends and family and put herself as the only person in Maya’s life and it was terrifying to see. I really enjoyed this book and Maya’s character development and strength is admirable.

Thank you to Netgallery and Random House Children for an early release copy of I Will Never Leave You by Kara A Kennedy.

What an amazing story! The characters in here are written very good, the mental health representation is good, the writing is fantastic and detailed. I throughly enjoyed the characters and writing. This is an emotional read following the toxic relationship between Maya and Alana, the effects that their relationship had on each character whether it was friends or family is damaging.

It was a journey to see Maya heal from the relationship and connect back with friends and family. It was emotional to see her heal from their toxic relationship, Maya realizing that she deserves better then Alana is such a happy moment, her reconnecting with her sister and genuinely talking to those around her is a heartfelt and emotional after all that she had been through.

The message of the story in a direct quote from the book is: When someone loves you they don’t hurt you on purpose, if you think you need them like flames do oxygen. I want to tell you that you are wrong, you can survive on your own. Nobody else props you up and nobody else can take credit for your triumphs. You are the phoenix, fire is always fire, it destroys, it obliterates but you can always rise again.

This quote alone made this book an easy five stars, the message is strong and emotional. I absolutely cannot recommend this book enough, this is a must read!

Thank you to the publisher for my arc!


This book was wild. I expected just your typical contemporary sapphic romance and what i got was a magical realism thriller. I was super surprised at the direction this story took but i couldn't put it down. I really sympathized with Maya and how she navigated her toxic relationship with Alana.

The kind of book that will haunt you long after reading it. Tightly paced, eerily atmospheric, and SAPPHIC. I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU is a hair-raising exploration of female friendships, toxic relationships, and the frightening fanaticism surrounding true crime. I love how Kennedy dives into how the media flocks to cases regarding young, white, wealthy women as compared to other cases. With beautiful prose and a taught and twisty plot, I FLEW through this book.

Thank you to the publisher for the ARC!

IF YOU DON'T PICK UP THIS BOOK FOR IT'S COVER ALONE I AM SHOCKED!!

This book kept me on the edge of my seat as I went page through page, this author has a gift that very few have ever seen. I am incredibly grateful that I do now.

I absolutely loved I Will Never Leave You. Kara A. Kennedy comes out swinging in her debut novel, which is a ya ghost story thriller. I finished the book within two days because I could not put it down and, to be honest, I probably would have finished it sooner if I hadn't had plans during the day.

Kennedy has a gorgeous command of language—the prose itself is stunning, vivid, and lush. Every description of the setting felt like a mini-love letter to Southern California. I also felt like all the characters, especially our main character Maya, were so realistic. Maya's character, after all she went through, was messy and stress-inducing in the best way. I love when authors are able to interweave different mediums into their novel (i.e., podcasts, news reports, ect) and I Will Never Leave You did just that. Those moments of pulling the audience back into the bigger picture did a fantastic job of upping the stakes and keeping the pressure on.

And then there was the plot itself. I was racing to finish the novel the whole time and kept telling myself, "one more chapter and then it's time for bed." During the climax, I could feel my own anxiety spiking as well. Kennedy did a great job of laying out the groundwork as well—while the twists and turns were shocking, they weren't out of the blue, but worked with the little hints we got down the road. I also adored the weaving of trauma and healing into a ghost story and thought it was beautifully done.

Personally, I don't love when novels have modern references but with Maya, Alana, and most of the other characters being seniors in high school, I found I didn't mind it as much. But, this was a minor preference of mine that didn't actually detract from the plot.

This is a stunning debut from Kennedy and I look forward to reading her future work!

I'm going to start with a necessary disclosure - I know the author of this book, and while we haven't been in close contact for some time, we do share a professional and personal connection, and still talk from time to time. We worked together at a challenging job, and ten years prior to that, we both attended the same university (unknowingly, at the time!). Given this personal connection, it's natural that my review may be influenced by my affection for the author.
With that said, I'm thrilled to recommend this stunning novel. Despite any potential biases, I truly believe that it's an amazing story that deserves to be read.
A lot of this book left me breathless. My heart cried out for the protagonist, Maya, for Kennedy, and for myself, who knows to well the toll emotional abuse can take on you. While this kind of thing has been getting more attention, it’s still an unfortunate truth that many men and women are being abused in ways that are not visible. And while there may not be physical scars bearing that proof, the demand it takes on your body is just the same. Not to mention to isolation, the fear, the doubt - wondering if it’s in your head, and if you’re betraying the person you love most by even having these thoughts.
One of the things that struck me most about this book is the way it handles mental health issues. Maya's struggles with anxiety disorder are woven throughout the narrative, and I found it incredibly relatable. The author's portrayal of anxiety is so accurate and raw, and Kennedy's descriptions of panic attacks are particularly poignant.
As someone who has lived with anxiety since my teenage years, I was blown away by the accuracy of the depiction. It's not often that you see mental health struggles represented in a way that feels authentic and honest. The author's ability to capture the intensity and overwhelming nature of panic attacks is remarkable, and I found myself nodding along in recognition as I read.
The fact that Maya also struggles with an anxiety disorder adds another layer of complexity to her character, and I think it's a testament to the author's skill that she can tackle such a sensitive topic in a way that feels both personal and universal.
I Will Never Leave You is a heavy read, but still one that you can devour quickly. I found it very difficult to put down, and I thought about it a lot when I wasn’t physically reading it. If you’re looking for a ghost story, a sapphic love story, a coming of age story, or even a love letter to Southern California, I suggest you pick it up!

I Will Never Leave You is about the relationships that continue to haunt us, sometimes it involves a toxic ex-girlfriend; sometimes troubled family dynamic; sometimes, it's the mental wars that were waged and lost against ourselves. Of course, there's also literal haunting going on.

Kennedy handled these topics with deftness and grace. Her writing just simply flowed so beautifully, coupled with a charged pacing from the get-go -- I was flying through the book. Even though Maya (1) frustrated me too much (might or might not skim through parts of the book because of this... ugh) (2) wasn't my favourite (Rowan, hello!!), her character growth was admittedly compelling. It was absolutely carthatic watching her transform and come to terms with the things that she'd been through. Being our sole narrator, it's fair that everything was centered around her development, but I still found myself craving more dimensions from our supporting cast -- Rowan (a little too MPDG for me), Maya's dad (unhelpfully sarcastic) and sister (doing her best, which, fair), even Alana (please give me something more than Evil, Heather and RG would not fail me like this). It's entirely a personal peeve though, one that most readers would have no problem ignoring. I don't have much to comment about the supernatural aspect of the book; for me, it was but a narrative convenience, and it did its job at the end of the day.

My rating may reflect my personal opinion, but clearly, this book has touched so many others. Objectively speaking, it's a brilliant spin on the unravelling of a toxic teenage relationship, with a (sort-of) murder mystery and supernatural aspects to boot. I can promise you a thrilling ride if that synopsis sounds like your thing.

Thanks to Netgalley and Delacorte Press for the E-ARC!

I read this in one sitting so I can start by saying that I really enjoyed this one! It's a quick read and I couldn't put it down.

That said, this is probably sitting at a 3.5 stars for me: the plot gripped me more than the characters did (I thought Maya's character was well written and a great example of an imperfect victim, but the dialogue and other characters were a bit two dimensional) but the pacing didn't lull and that's where the writing really paid off. The ending didn't feel totally wrapped up to me, but the pacing was so clean that it didn't feel lacking until I started to write this review.

Worth saying: there is a lot of emotional abuse. For those who have had toxic friendships or relationships, please be aware of this going into the book. Alana is pretty much textbook emotional abuse and with no redeeming qualities and is horrible to Maya throughout - just when you think it can't get worse, it does. I'm not sure how to word this, but if the relationship was a bit less black and white and Alana was portrayed to have a few redeeming qualities, I'm not sure I'd have been able to handle it as it'd have been a bit too close to a few relationships/friendships I've been in. The story was about breaking free from an emotionally abusive relationship and, especially for a YA audience, does exactly what it set out to do.

2024 seems to be the year of sapphic YA stories and this is another one that I'd recommend! Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.

This is a beautifully-written, incredibly intense novel about sapphic emotional abuse in a teen relationship. Yes, it's also a murder narrative, but the focus remains much less on the mystery of the murder and firmly on the emotional manipulation and horrific control that, in this supernatural context, extends far beyond death. It's hard to read, but it's so great to have this as a queer YA book in the world.

This story will haunt you. Break ups are hard enough without the ghost of your ex haunting you. This emotional roller coaster is worth picking up.

Thank you to Random House Children's, Delacorte Press, and NetGalley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for a review!
First off, I truly appreciated the depiction of the toxic relationship in here; just as guilt does not pause after death, just as trauma does not stop, the ghost of a toxic, manipulative ex won't cease after death. Except here, it's not metaphorical.

Maya can see ghosts-- but she can't see her mother. Alana died after an argument between the two of them, and she'll hold that over Maya's head, frame her for her death, and threaten her, unless Maya enables her to possess someone. And then they'll be together. Forever.

Though Maya's timelines, we see the pre-Alana, the peri-Alana, and the post-Alana death, showing the impacts Alana had on isolating Maya from everyone, family and friends alike. Alana is not treated wholly unsympathetically; like Maya, she's a teenage girl herself, with a life of her own. Still, her choices are her own, and the narrative can allow others to see how all were impacted. by the choices of others.
Too, something I loved, was how much Maya's family supported her, and continued to support her.

This was an intense, but important read. Following her ex-girlfriend's death, Maya (who recently graduated high school, more or less by the skin of her teeth) is suddenly haunted by her ex-girlfriend's ghost. Maya has always been able to see ghosts, and then send them on their way. But her ex, Alana, doesn't want to move on. In fact, she wants to stay. For good. And she wants Maya's help.

Debut author Kennedy's writing is beautiful with descriptive writing and fully fleshed out characters. I thoroughly enjoyed the setting of southern California and its poppies (featured on the gorgeous cover, too!), as well as the lake community. Maya's first person perspective may be an eye opener for teens who may be struggling in their own relationships.

Though a hard one, I think this sapphic debut is an important one. But, majorrrr trigger warnings for the throat-choking emotional abuse Maya receives and internalizes.